I took a leap of faith and jump like a child

Jan 22 aft

Just did afternoon Shoonya, went in deep.

Now looking at this week Osho card
1. Issue
Trust
Don't waste life for that which is going to be taken away. Trust life. If u trust life, only then u can u drop ur knowledge, only then can u put ur mind aside. And with trust, something immense opens up.

Soul
Feeling bit down especially now on antibiotics. Just have to cheer myself up.

2. Internal influences that u are unable to see
Intensity
It is a dark night but with intense fire of enquiry u are bound to come to the sunrise.
When u act with the intensity of the Knight of Fire it is likely to create ripples in the waters around u. Some will feel uplifted and refreshed by ur presence, others may feel annoyed. But the opinions of others matter little; nothing can hold u back.

Soul
Well, nowadays I just said what need to be said. After the jump with Y and he now avoid me. But I didn't die.
So no longer afraid of anyone's else response. Even with my family I say now.

3. External influences of which u are aware
Existence
U are not accidental. Existence needs u. Without u something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it. That's what give u dignity.
Once u are clean and clear, u can see tremendous love falling on u from all dimensions.
Now its the time to look at whether u are allowing urself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at home" wherever u are. If u are, be sure to take time to savour it so it can deepen and remain with u. If on the other hand, you have been feeling like the world is out to get u. It's time to take a break.

Soul
Last few days I have been really busy with unexpected request for work during leave and weekend. And also issue with dad.
But having sadhanas help loads.
Also facing invalidation from Y.
Me coping. 

4. What is needed for resolution?
Success.
Watch the waves in the ocean. The higher the waves goes, the deeper is the wake that follows it. One moment u are the wave, another moment u are the hollow wake that follows. Enjoy both - don't get addicted to it.
Don't say: I would always like to be on the peak. It is not possible.
The greatest wisdom to keep in mind with all the phenomena in the parade of ur life, whether they be peaks or valleys, is that      "This too will pass".

Soul
Yes. That's keep me going on.

Got this from Facebook
I won't force myself to have a space in ur life...
Because if u really know my worth,,
U will make one for me.

Soul
That's how I feel now. No more forcing myself. Just accept the invalidation from others.

5. Resolution - the understanding.
Courage
This card shows a small wildflower that has met the challenges of the rocks and stones in its path to emerge into the light of the day. Surrounded by an aura of bright golden light, it exposes the majesty of its tiny self.

Soul
Yes. I faced it. I jumped. And now no longer afraid.

Aft
Life love and laughter
The child is full of love, trust. The child can trust anything. They can play with a snake or move so close to a fire that it can become dangerous - because the child has not yet learned to doubt.
So we teach doubt, we teach skepticism, we teach logic. These seem to be measures for survival. We teach fear, we teach caution, prudence and all these together kill the possibility of love.

Soul
True.
Being fearless means being a child.

Life love and laughter
If u enjoy the company of the other, u respect and like the other. That's love. Love is respect, tremendous respect; love is deep liking and love is sheer joy in the presence of the one u love.

Soul
This morning I asked if I actually did love Y. I wonder what is love. I know looking at Y made me smile. I truly like him. I enjoy his company.
Now got my answer.