Osho - love is the fragance of meditation

Jan 27
Woke up with this tot.
Suddenly tot of similarity between Y and Z
Both also keep themselves busy so they won't have time for intimacy. Y changed work into sadhana. Z changed work into family - children.
Why me? Why am I attracted to both North node and South node in Leo.

I know I got Venus in Leo. Leo's is about fire. Father, I m tired. What I know its that Y and I are complete.

While I was driving a tot came on my life time challenge of Seven of Hearts. How to transform it to the highest.

My first Bhoota Suddhi this morning. The last five minutes I was in meditation.
Feels more awake for guru pooja. Somehow can sing better.
Did 3 cycles of yoga Namaskara and 3 cycles of Surya kriya. Both also okay.
Breathing was okay but didn't sat for long. Shakti was good. Not sure but Kapala Bhakti was heaty. Not sure if this is from the balancing effect. Others used to tell me Kapala Bhakti is heaty but I never felt it. Towards the end a giggle escaped and singing came in. Shambavi was good too.

Father. Everything we do is an escape. I can see both Y and Z escaping from relationship, from intimacy. What am I escaping from? One thing I knew is that I haven't been writing for the past 3 months. Somehow reading Rebellesociety, Jeff Fosters and Matt Licata; makes me feel my writing is juvenile. Not comparable. So am I escaping using my drive for relationship.

I know I want my partner. But this path is real tough. Why can't relationship come easy to me, like others. Why I keep on with guys who are not ready; who want to escape relationship. I know they both want me but somehow I m not right for them logically.

Father, I m tired. Guide me.

Life love and laughter
Take hold of ur own life. See that whole existence is celebrating. These trees are not serious, these birds are not serious. Everywhere is fun, everywhere there is joy and delight.
Love cannot exist with a serious mind. With a serious mind, logic is in tune. Be non serious.  Be sincere but non serious. Be sincere with existence, then you will be true, u will become part of this cosmic Leela; this cosmic play. 

Logic belongs to the past; love belongs to the future. Logic is just moving in the old circle again and again.  Love moves into new territory. Being yourself is never static, being in love is also never static. It is always ecstatic - not static but ecstatic; out of stasis, out of standing still.
Be moving. One never arrives, though always arriving.

Soul
I said I m tired. When will the Seven of Hearts stops.
 But ur message says continue. This reminds me  of the Courage card.

Life love and laughter
Question
There exists deep in myself a yearning for the permanency of love.

Answer
When ur love begins; it begins at a certain moment in time. Then it is bound to end. Yes, it can end sooner or later. If it ends quickly u call it momentary; if it takes a little longer time to end, u call it permanent.
But permanency also not going to fulfill the heart, because the heart longs for that which does not end at all, which is forever. It is the longing for God. God is another name for eternal love.
The heart says eternity and the mind interprets permanency. The yearning of the heart is for a vertical dimension; that is the dimension of meditation. Mind lives horizontally; hence the mystics of all sages have realised the fact that mind and time are not two different things; mind is time.
Mind cannot live vertically, mind lives in the past, in the future. So all that u are aware is  of the past which is no more and the future which is not yet. U live between two non existential things.

My suggestion is that if you are really ready to fulfill the longing of the heart, then forget about love. First go into meditation, because love will come out of meditation. Love is the fragrance of meditation. Let it open. Then it its eternal. Then it is not directed to anybody in particular; it cannot be directed to anybody in particular. It is not a relationship; it is more a quality that surround u. It has nothin to do with the other. U are loving, u are love - then it is eternal. It is ur fragrance.

Soul
Mmm.