Venus - Ace of Spades (becoming fearless in relationships)

Jan 21

Forgot to put alarm. Woke up around 7 plus am. Must have been tired cos was coughing some last night. Plan to go to doctor today. Make sure I am okay before the festive period. Also the right feet is swelling too much.

Today didn't do any asanas cos was woke up one hour later than usual and feet is swelling.
Sang guru pooja and did a short breathing.
Followed by Shakti and Shambavi. All in all took me about one and half hour.
Sat only about 5 minutes towards the end as I want to go early to the doc.

When I was doing my practices, bit of tots of Y but mostly tot of the gal who wants to follow me to Kailash. I said yes too fast yesterday but I know I truly don't want her to be with me as our aim for Kailash is different. So just messaged her and told her. The breakthrough with Y really opens up my communication. Now able to say to no friends...can communicate authentically in personal relationship.

Today my Venus card.

My Daily Card
The Ace of Spades

The Ace of Spades means a SECRET of some kind. This card was the emblem for many of the secret societies of old, being the 'key to the mysteries'. As such, it represents the 'truth that lies behind the veil of illusion'. So, it has often been the symbol for the study and pursuit of esoteric knowledge and mystical wisdoms.
The Ace of Spades is also one of the traditional cards for death, change and transformation. With this mystical card in your spread, it is certain that you will go through some sort of death and rebirth, or at the least, some important and powerful changes.
Another facet of the Ace of Spades is the desire for work. Since all Aces represent new beginnings, the Ace of Spades can come up when we are preparing to launch a new job or occupation.

Checked my Weekly Osho tarot card.

1. Issue
Trust

"Don't waste your life for that which is going to be taken away. Trust life. If you trust, only then can you drop your knowledge, only then can you put your mind aside. And with trust, something immense opens up. Then this life is no longer ordinary life, it becomes full of godliness, overflowing.

Soul
I finally understand this.
Invalidation by Y...him being taken away ...
With trust of Life, then I can just accept.
With acceptance, I no longer need to dwell on it in my mind.