North Node in Taurus - a needy person inside who need to take back their own power

May 22

Woke up before alarm and laze a bit. So glad I decided to wake up later and skip Angarmadhana. I was tired as got no rest yesterday. Been a tired week. These days I take things easy and listen to my body.

Sat on toilet bowl and tot of boss's Ten of Clubs and her husband's Queen of Diamonds. Now I feel comforted by this finding as I feel that it was meant to happen. Anyway, Y got me over Z and now I know Y also too not my match.

Had some tots of work but I know it will be okay.

Did Bhuta Shuddi, nose quite blocked and sneezes load during guru pooja.
Did Cat stretch before doing one cycle of Surya kriya.
Breathing meditation was lovely, wish I could sit longer.
Shakti was good with slow Kapala Bhakti. Only lost track on third cycle. Went in deep.
Shambavi was good. These days Surya kriya is lovely. Towards the end sitting silently in contentment with head slightly tilted and watch my breathe.

Did Samyama on the drive to work. Good.

Sadhguru
Whatever u know about yourself and ur life is nothing but karmic substance, not your being.

Soul
True.
At least know what karmic substance we are carrying. The being part is unattainable by most.

North node in Taurus
The first step towards self-acceptance for them is to acknowledge that there is a needy person inside and to take personal responsibility for filling those needs. If they try to appear self-sufficient and suppressed that needy part, it will come out full-blown to make itself recognised.
They have denied and postponed their own needs in so many incarnations that now the needy part is over energised. And that is to their advantage - they have earned the right to embrace and encompass that part of themselves.

Soul
Me always resentful of people who fulfill their own need. I guess I was resentful because I tot I can't. I tot I m meant to suffer as I was given the power and capability. Such power means responsibility and I have to put others' interest before mine.
I have now learned to give because I want to and not because I tot I have to.

North node in Taurus
They are here to learn to take back their power. When they stand in their power, they can afford to be loving and helpful to others - not from the place of neediness but from a sense of contentment that enables them to be generous.
Thus their first responsibility is to themselves. To do things that bring recognition of their self worth and the  contentment of enjoying life.
There are no more battles to fight, nothing more to give up, no part of themselves that has to be thrown away.
This is a building lifetime: building a sense of comfort through their connection with themselves.