Self judgement

Jun 24
Now on the way to airport.
Mmm. This tosei not great. The one in Chennai truly great.

Was just charged 3000 rupee for excess baggage in domestic flight. Now their max check in baggage is 15 kg only. I recalled reading but I ignored it and now pay the price. I was assuming that previously I was on 20 kg and there was no issue.
Luckily I have 25 kg on international and need only to pay 2kg excess. Hope doesn't exceed 3000 rupee. Mind is working overtime and me getting edgy and start to look at how much load I was carrying for local Isha. Me looking at it and tot it wasn't necessary to get work up cos I can easily cover it.

Mmmm this few days at ashram, little tots. But now on the way back, tots coming in. Today I dreamt of my handsome ex boss and someone else in my sleep.

Anyway, all these not relevant as I now found my home in Sannidhi. Luckily I wasn't able to bring it back. Must have been heavy. Not sure if I can even carry it. Also I decided I want to mercury sannidhi.

Apart from clarity on Sannidhi vs Linga yantra, I also know that once I found what I truly valued I must direct my life towards it. Hence me creating the consecration space. This trip all the messages is about consecrated space. And of consecrated space being a tool. And our worship is a form of appreciation for the benefits of using the tools. That's all.

Today saw J and P doing their practices. Didn't see the Samyama guy. Father, m now sure of my path and home is with Sadhguru. Finally I found my home, my anchor. I no longer need a partner. I still want my partner more for physical and mental companionship.

Aft
Had a good sleep in the plane. When I woke up again the tot on excess baggage, this is the first time I exceeded. In future once I decided to carry for others have to plan properly.

Finally removed the yoga mat and now at 23 kg. Tot it was 2 kg but actually 3 kg. Now at least I don't have to worry about excess baggage.  Mmm. Now I know why I was disturbed. At first when they told me 3 kg excess. I wanted to remove the slip and the guy said too troublesome and I let it go since 1000 rupee is okay to absorb. Later when we went to pay credit card he jumped and said payment is 3000 ruppee. At that time I should have reacted and told him I disagree with the new additional charges and insist to open the bag and remove some items. At least I would reduce by 5 kg and payment would be 1500 rupee. That's what I m disturbed about. I didn't act on my instinct. Just as I ignored when I saw the 15 kg max baggage in the online air ticket.
Also I plan to arrive airport earlier but somehow just on time due to traffic and stopover for breakfast; which i didn't enjoy. So all my disturbance was on me blaming and judging myself for being incompetent.

Well, now that that is cleared I m back to my normal self.
Been quite poor on the physical aspect.
Truly hard on myself.

Mmmm, Sadhguru said there is no two self. It's me and me only. True. Guess part of me remain incompetent so I m still helpless and tricked myself into believing I need a partner to protect me. To take care of all the physical stuff. Mmm. I just need a secretary, not a partner.

Truly glad for this retreat at ashram. A great break. Clarity of Sannidhi and I found my Home. Home is with Sadhguru.