Cosmic Lesson (11)

Feb 17 Aft
Father, I am at ease. Just did shoonya, I am home.

Just now was sharing with a colleague that I cannot take big meal. I know I cannot take raw fish and chili. Stomach pained and follow up with purge.

I am happy with myself. I didn't have a need to contact Z. I still want him, but the need is gone. Somehow I think that if he wants me, the fact that I don't need him, won't 'kill off" the liking.
Previously, I always have to make the other party know how much I want them so as to keep their interest, to make them feel secure. Ah, now I know, it was what I wanted. If they made their feelings known to me, then I feel secure.
Actually Z didn't contact me and my liking for him is still there. I still want him.
Aiyoh, I gave them what I need and when they didn't respond in kind, I feel even more insecure. And then I would insist on a reply of the same and if no reply, I would force a closure.
So, I project my need to them.

Aiyoh, I did the same to Z when I gave him the mail. He didn't reply as he doesn't feel the same way as I do. I was feeling so bad for 2 days. Except this time, I gather my courage and I called him and I didn't blast at him And he was at his end but he really wanted to get to the root of it and we chat for 3 hours. But net net he said he doesn't want me as much as I want him.
Even then, I still hold on. Aiyoh.
The bad phase has past and we survived through it.

Mmm, now Z and I can start afresh if we r meant to be. If not, I am fine too. This time I know I am lovable and I did not jeopardize myself. I know that after Z, there will still be others. My spring time just started. Amen.
Father, I played the game to win, but I am ok to lose. And finally I am ready to expect a miracle in my relationship. I know my partner will be here. Thanks for the Destiny card for guiding me. So, a Seven of Heart need not be negative, I can turn it around.

Expect a Miracle
Change the energy and the experience change. Once we learn to see through the eyes of our higher selves, we come from a loving place rather than fearful one. With that problems are magically transcended and people just show up differently. Because we r not limited by our fear, our relationships are not dictated by our assumptions. We become fertile ground for the miracle of love to take root.

Soul
Exactly what I experienced earlier. I can now expect miracle in my relationship. It need not be Z, but it will come. I know it. I am blossoming and I want to share my love and joy with my partner. Amen.

Expect a miracle
We simply need to be present with our radiant stillness. We r open and available for a spiritual match; we need to have commitment, faith and joyful expectation.
Our stillness is the ideal ground in which to plant the seed of perfect partnership.

Soul
I bought this book a few years ago. And I couldn't relate to it, firstly because I don't meditate and practice stillness. Secondly because I can't believe a miracle will happen. Alas, I can now and I expect a miracle to happen. So many miracles has happen to me, what's there to stop my relationship from happening.

Expect a miracle
In every moment, we choose to come from fear or love. In order to get to the place where we are always choosing love, we have to learn to surrender our tenacious will and, through prayer and meditation, ask the spirit of Grace to help us.

Soul
This is my Osho transformation card. Heaven and hell is just a door away and I have the choice to open which door.

Expect a miracle
It can be pretty discomfiting to surrender like this because we think we are in control of our lives and that it will all just grind down to nothing if we stop policing things.
Surrendering allows u to relax into the knowledge that there is a greater intelligence at work in the universe and that u don't have to be on red-alert at all times.
Mantra - In our powerlessness, we find our greatest strength.

Soul
I got that in samurai game. Alas, I can surrender.

Expect a miracle
By just ceasing the act of trying, things begin to show up differently, and we find any mistrust we might have about trying to find a partner naturally melting away.
First step is to become conscious of what u r doing. U will feel a tightness in ur body when u try to control a situation that isn't within ur control. Once aware of ur ineffective behaviour, take a deep breathe, close ur eyes and say "Thy will be done." And then let it go.

Mantra; I surrender my tots of how things should be, and allow Grace to show my good to me.

It"s hard to trust that things will unfold perfectly for us if we can't see how they are going to unfold. But if what you've been doing hasn't been working, isn't it worth trying to surrender, to relax and assume that the Universal Mind is at work, making it all come together for u.

Soul
Thanks. For the first time in my life, I am not trying.

Expect a miracle
The kind of person that we want to meet won't materialise (or certainly wouldn't call us if they did!) if we are not embodying the very same loving qualities that we seek.

Soul
I am the happiest I have ever been. I am the healthiest. I am experiencing joyful moments And now finally I know I am lovable. I want to attract someone like myself or even better.

Expect a miracle
Once u can completely accept where u r presently, a particularly painful situations no longer needs to attach itself to u, trying ever so vigilantly to shake loose ur grip. Accept and surrender.
Then the energy clears, and the process of magnetism works its magic, and there is space for new energy to enter.

Surrender means recognising that we cannot control other people or situations. It also means letting go of the past so that it doesn't torment us, and in turn we are freed of any limited idea of what the future will bring. Relationships happen when we stop trying to make them happen. It doesn't mean u stop caring, it just means u give up the desperation.

Soul
That's what's happening to me now. I want him but I don't need him.

Soul
My past is gone.

Osho
Real love comes not from trying to solve our neediness by depending on another, but by developing our own inner richness and maturity. Then we have so much love to give that we naturally draw lovers towards us.

Soul
Amen.

Osho - to do
We carry our home with us wherever we go. There is no need to hurry, no need to seek shelter. Even as we move into the depths of the emotional waters, we can remain self-contained and free from attachments.
Ur dreams and hopes and desires are fading away. Their disappearance is making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is and u r able to welcome this development in a way u have never been able to before.
Savour this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognising that u r already at home.

Soul
I now know the Source is in me. My Source is my Home and I can keep connecting to my Home.

Osho
Resolutions
No more projections.

Soul
Only today I know I projected my neediness to my partners. I tot they need me and I try very hard eventhough at times I may not want them very much.