I am not lucky, I faced and conquered my fear

Feb 5 Eve
Father, just now saw a gal with much lower attributes vs the guy. First tot was why the guy choose the gal. Second tot is if she can get him, I can do better. I am glad I can now go up instead of lower.
Also had a flash tot that Z's family intro him a hot gal. I just dismissed it and said I m here for long term and I am a good catch.
Then tot of him didn't keep in touch and etc and it will be another week before we can meet. I reminded myself that we have other years ahead, so what a week or two.
Father, compulsive tots keeps on coming in but these days it dies off as fast. My mantra is he is not in my life yet and he is not with me, so don't want to stay in that space. My love life is effortless.

The Passion Test
Richard Paul Evans - A famous self-publisher/writer on promotion of his book
What I learned is that if someone talked to me, they would buy the book. So, I learned what sold the book. I learned how to speak about it, and I was able to talk from a level of passion. If I didn't care about the book, it never would have happened, but they saw that passion coming through me and they wanted to share it, so they would buy the book. Then, after they bought the book, they would read it and they come back to buy more, because they wanted to share the message.

Soul
Yeap, I must learned to share it too. I think this msg also show the extrapolation of 20 %
The Passion Test

(Mar 6 - may want to think again of what V mentioned about the video)

Richard Paul Evans - A famous writer
I think anytime u r following ur passions, u r going to be tested. There are things that test how much we really care about something.

Soul
1st tot was on rship and the fact that I got Z, who has his own agenda on how things proceed. Like during philharmonic, he wouldn't listen to my input and instead want to experience it himself. I also got more attraction for him vs him for me. So, a perfect test.
As for my writing, I need to do more and promote more.

The Passion Test
Richard Paul Evans - A famous author
When people says "u r so lucky", it's like, no, u have no idea. I was willing to fight for this book. I was willing to do uncomfortable things. I was willing to take chances. I was willing to risk everything for this book. Failure simply wasn't an option.

Soul
People says I am so lucky I got the 4 days job. I put myself on the line, I quit my job and was called back and I nego for it.
Even at college where I passed all the exams, its true I don't listen to lecture but I studied at home and I learn to 'think and apply' instead of memorising answer.
While I m receptive during meditation, I flew to india alone and unknowingly to do the programs. I wake up 4 am daily to do my morning practices and I do evening ones too. I spend nearly 4 hours on yoga and meditation combined. People think I am lucky, I put in the hard work.
Now this rship with Z, its going effortlessly on the surface. The hard work is for me and Z managing our own insecurities, learning to manage our compulsive behaviours - me going mental and he going physical, our own beliefs and set plans for our life. And it will require compromise and cooperation from both sides.
(Mar 6 - I faced such challenge with Z. The only reason I am going through is for my sexual liberation and because he is a diamond)

Another thing I want is my writing.
(Mar 6 - which I haven't done much yet.)

The Passion Test
Richard Paul Evans - A famous author
When u have that kind of passion, fate favours the bold. All of a sudden things will just start. U will struggle and u'll fight, but u will win.

(Mar 6 - Sadhguru said that you can't choose Linga Bhairavi. You just have to make yourself bright and shining. I already know she chose me.)

We do not succeed in spite of our obstacles and challenges. We succeed precisely of them.

Fear is the opposite of faith. Fear is something u recognise for what it is. U can't have fear and faith at the same time in ur mind, because faith is simply a state of mind.
Fear can help u recognise reality and that's a service and its a good things. But when u r ready to move, then don't counsel from fear, u let it go. Its like, okay, I am going to overcome that. I believe I can do this.

Soul
Yeap, two things in my Passions List. 1st is to be internationally famous published author. 2nd is to be in an intimate relationship with Z.