Facing my karma in relationship (25) - breakthru

Feb 9 Aft

Father, just had a chat with boss. She asked about Z and I shared with her.
I told her that I m in a period of uncertainty. I know Z likes me but I think not as much as I like him.

I told her about Z always asking me the personal question; "Why am I not married?" to "Why don't I want to settle down?". He asked it everytime we meet. I told boss that I either ignored it and infact told him bluntly that we are not that close, so I can't tell him. The latest was I told him that relationship is uncertain, so I don't go into it.

Luckily, I was saved by the call from his brother or I will self jeopardize myself.
She also said that Z is definitely interested in me for him to ask me so many times. Z wanted to be sure that I want to settle down. He don't want to waste his time going out with someone that doesn't want to settle down.

I told her that Z's plan is to be settled by early 2012 and he gave himself 1 year for the relationship. So, that further confirmed her assessment.

Boss said Z is very brave to put himself up for rejection. I could have just said nope and that would be the end. Boss said she is puzzled on why I was defensive.

Boss said this is a good man. There are many men, but very few good man and I should keep him. I told her that I saw his value and I know he is good. Boss said that I have not open up to Z, the way he had. And infact, Z should feel more uncertain than me. He should be the one calling it off instead of me.

Boss said that once I tell Z that I am interested in settling down then the relationship will progress and not in stale mate like now. I was the one who is keeping it on stale mate, not Z.
I told her I did tell him that I like him and want to do things together. He responded by asking me again on "settling down" again. He asked why I don't want to settle down. He even said that he thinks I don't want to settle down. When I asked why he thinks that, he replied he doesn't know 'why'. Boss said this confirmed that he is definitely interested in me.

Earlier I tot is was because firstly he was fooling around, teasing me. Secondly I tot he was just being a busybody, invading my privacy.
Boss told me that uncertainty is the base of relationship. If I can't stand uncertainty, how to have relationship.
Father, Z really like me. I am now feeling love for myself. I have just text Z that I want to call him tonite.
Now I believed that there is a bigger possibility for me to have a relationship with Z.
Now I have more confidence of my card for the day;

King of Heart
Brings success in dealing with our own emotions, success with the public, artistic field and romantic success in one form or another.
For ladies, the King of Hearts represents the perfect lover or companion and so it often indicates having an enjoyable sexual relationship or in some cases, marriage.

Soul
I now know it is possible. Amen. Thank U.
I also recalled another thing. I asked Z how he shows his love, he said through eye contact.
(Soul - yea..he always asked me to open my eyes...)

I recalled when we were having dinner. He was watching me, saying that I looked hot. He noticed I avoided his gaze and he asked me to look into his eyes. Father, I even asked him to change topic as he is making me blush. Aiyoh.
I also told boss that Z said a few times that he wants to break away all my doors as I keep on saying that I can't answer him because he hasn't reach the inner door. Boss said that shows he is keen on me, otherwise he wouldn't be breaking the doors.
Like boss says, Z should be the one running off, not me.

(Mar 19 - when i called him, he said he would have given up on me if I haven't call him. He has enough of my yo yo. I am giving him 'hell'!)