Samyama is a good tool (8)

Feb 8 Eve
Father, take Z as an icon. Both he and MF, a Seven of Spades still dreams on despite having so many setbacks. MF in terms of work, Z in terms of relationship.
Just now heard a text, hope it was from him but alas it wasn't. Move on.

Did my meditation. It was good. I felt much calmer and the screaming helps to release the inner tension. I am not as angry as before for having to undertake this challenge with Z. I deserved to be happily loved.

Sadhguru - Himalayan Lust
There is an endemic problem with people. People always want to know whether they are going to the right place or not. If they water the garden, they want to make sure they are watering only the fruit-bearing trees, not the weeds. If they give money to somebody, they would like to give to somebody who deserves it, not to somebody who doesn't deserves it. Is he exploiting me?
Now the sun rose in the morning, gave himself totally to the weeds and the flowering trees and the fruit-bearing trees, to the good man, the evil man, criminals, saints, the same way.
The little, petty things that u have to give, why do u calculate so much about making a mess out of ur life? If u have something to give, u give. Whether that person deserves it or not, that's none of ur business. If u don't want to give, don't give; that is also okay.
U want to give, so you give joyfully.
Why do u calculate? Because u want to know, whatever u r giving, if its earning u good enough marks. This is very bad karma. It is not necessary for u to keep accounts of what to give.
The giving is about u, not about the other person. Be glad there is somebody to receive.

Soul
Suddenly tot of me resist to give to Z because of its uncertainty, I don't want to lose out.
For the beggars, these days I have changed I tend to give whoever asked me. I don't care if they r real or not, they are pitiable and I have the money. And if they are willing to go thru such drastic measure to get money, I salute them and give. As for those who are 'commercialised", making their owner richer, at least by my giving, they got their food.


Sadhguru
There are too many forces working on the physical world, too many; we will never control all of them.

The only way to take charge of life is to distance urself from the physical (mind and body). Once u distance urself from the physical, u r in complete charge of ur life, hundred percent.

If u r a part-time yogi who practices at least a few hours a day, u r focusing on what to do with ur interiority, then it will happen very quick.

If u do only 20 min yoga, it will still happen, but it will take a longer time because u r taking small doses. With such a small dose, it will take much longer. If u increase the dosage, it will work fast.

So for those of u who think that u have a million year life span can go slowly. Those of u who know that they have a very short lifespan, those of u who are already grey, must hasten up, because it's a very brief life. There is no time to go in small doses. U should increase the dosage.

Soul
Samyama very important.
Aiyah, as I was reading this, I tot of Z who said I was crazy for waking up at 4 am to do my practices. I was laughing and tot to share the article with him. I text him without any reservation. No mind here. Anyway, he didn't reply. So, don't have to follow through. Yea!

Father, if I don't think so much, I just want to be with him. Its only when I think and calculate on its possible outcome that I pulled back. Its like what Sadhguru says if u want to give, u give joyfully. Don't spend time agonising if the person is worthy or not.