Queen of Diamond Life Spread (4)

Feb 7
Father, it takes two to tango. Z didn't call me. I have opened up. If he wanted to, he would have. I have to admit, he is not into me.
And now I am fine, I no longer take it personally. I can love again and that's what the price. He doesn't know what he wants, he just want to be married. And I won't do the chasing.
Father, I finished my practices. Z was in my mind throughout it and such a roller coaster. My mind is on compulsion mode. Despite that I found I was able to switch off towards the end I was giggling and humming. It was all in my mind.

Afternoon
Met M, an irritating ex-colleague who has turned into a close friend. He always comes to me for input whenever he makes a major decision. I always tot he was a Seven of Clubs but turns out he was a Seven of Spade and his Ruling was Four of Diamonds. He is my cosmic lesson card (Seven of Spade) and there has always been a closeness between us. I am his Pluto and Saturn for his Four of Diamonds. No wonder he always turns to me for input.

Father, why now? All these years of thinking he is Seven of Clubs! Why now he is a Seven of Spade, same as Z. What's the message here for me and Z?

1st we will not be together as partner, we r just friends. But perhaps its because that's because of his Four of Diamond Ruling.
2nd tot we will be good friends and its a plus point for our relationship.
3rd tot, I needed another motivation, Faith card to follow my Destiny. MF has many setbacks but he never lose track of his dream.

I told him that takes courage. I shared with him my dream to be a writer but I lacked the faith and from now on I will stay positive and be courageous to follow my dream. Like MF says, there is nothing to lose.
I was browsing my thing and saw 'Faith' in my Transformation Game Card.

Soul
Yes, like what Sadhguru says life continue. My life doesn't revolve around Z. Let me not hold back my life for someone that is not that into me. If he comes, he comes and I will be open. But meanwhile focus on my career as a writer. He is not ready for rship and definitely not ready for me.

I can let go of Z as I don't need him to justify myself, to love myself, to be joyful. With or without him, my self-worth is intact, my joy is intact. His presence as my partner doesn't add nor distract any worth from me.

Mmm, perhaps MF presence is tell me that Z is catalyst for my transformed relationship with my brother. I can now love him again, touch him lovingly as his sister.

Late afternoon
Displacement in Ace of Diamond's year card
Three of Heart
It often makes us very intellectual when it comes to matter of the heart. We tend to have our concerns rolling around and around in our head and attempt to apply all sorts of concepts to our situation when what we really need is to feel our feelings and trust our experiences.
U may find that u r doing a lot of soul-searching this year, a process of turning ur attention within to find the real answers.

Soul
So apt.

Queen of Diamond
Three of Club in Venus
If they utilise their inheritance of spiritual knowledge, much success can be realised. They are here to be transformers of energy
1. Worry into creativity
Art, music and writing are excellent outlets for a Three's abundant creativity
2. Fear into Faith
They can have love whenever they make a firm decision and refuse to accept less than what they truly want.

Three of Spades in Mars
There are often emotional challenges that began in childhood that must be dealt with before they can have a happily married or romantic life. They also need to develop positive mental habits and affirmations about love if they are to overcome some of the challenges
They are restless and finding a combination that matches their diversity may take some time but is entirely possible.

Soul
I have already mend my relationship with my brother. To my amazement, I can love him again after so many years.

Mar 18
Now the relationship with Z is going on well.
I have overcome the challenges and he is a true diamond. We are both lucky to find each other.