Facing my karma in relationship (18)

Feb 1
I love myself and therefore I forgive and totally release the past and all past experiences and I am free.
Father, I am freed. I have took a risk and expressed my attraction to a guy. Looking back such drama, actually it was nothing. While there were no reply from him, I am still fine. Will see him in sathsang next Sunday. Let him be so I can let me be.

And this is the start for me to be in the Samurai Game. I will get a re-fill for my destiny as Transformational leader. Finally the transformation is taking effect.

Meanwhile, I know I have finally released the past. I felt such ease with A and gal, K too and G. The same as the ex schoolmate. Finally my past is freed.

Z show love by
1. Spending time
2. Buy lovely dinner.
So, like me. Father, no defense mechanism. I have such joy and I don't need to defend the pleasure.
When I was meditating. Tot of buying for Z the yoga mat too. He is too busy to buy. Guess

Destiny Card (Inner Life)
Seven of Hearts
Jealousy, fearful attachment and betrayal could be the cause of considerable emotional trauma and may affect ur health. U may feel betrayed by someone, or situations have arisen that threaten ur feeling of security in ur personal relationship.
U r being challenged now to practice non-attachment in ur closest relationships and to overcome ur fear of abandonment. U may feel as though u r being forced to make a sacrifice now, but if u apply ur wisdom to the current situation, u could learn the value of real love. This challenges could be offset by a strong card.
Seven being a highly spiritual number, promises success in love if u try a new approach and adopt a more selfless or unattached attitude. If we can allow others to be who they are and not place so many demands upon them, we not only become more aware of their true personalities, but also we allow ourselves the freedom to be just who we are and experience just how it feels to be free of fear an attachment. Many high spiritual experiences have occurred while a seven was present.

Four of Hearts
U or someone u love recovering from illness or other troubles that have been present. This is good card that can bring good results, though it will take some effort. If u r prepared to work hard during this period and keep ur relationship and family goals forefront in ur mind, this card could indicate a favourable outcome to whatever situation arise.

Soul
Please lead me.

Ruling Card (Outer life)
Four of Clubs
This is a card of overcoming illness and unfavourable influences. This could take the form of good news from someone who is ill or happy in spite of ill health. U have great power in positive thinking now, power of mind that can be used constructively in many ways. Use this power to heal urself or to remove obstacles from ur path. Any skepticism u display now is not in harmony with ur inner beliefs
Even if ur other card were one of challenge or problem, this card guarantee that u will have successful outcome and overcome difficulties.
Any sort of mental occupation u may be involved in will benefit from this stabilising and practical influence. Good time to make plans for the future since u r thinking clearer than ever.
Ace of Spade
The card for death, change and transformation. U will go through some sort of death and rebirth, could also be a launch of new occupation.
This card bring a recovery from illness or some kind of reversal in ur health picture. A desire to uncover the underlying causes of illness could lead to ur recovery or that of someone else.
It is the card of transformation. Though most of us fear changes, they always lead us to something new and better.

Soul
Father, his card says that he is experimenting love. It also says that he may be miscommunicating his intentions.
First tot was, I felt suffering. 2nd tot was a perfect tool for my lesson. 3rd tot was he will come back to me.