Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Facing my karma in relationship (35)

Feb 20
Father, had a good walk this morning. Followed with the big wet market, lovely time. Had a facial and light lunch.

I am not sure, but these days food no longer grabs me. I am fine with simple food. And my body also dictates what I eat. If I don't listen, it will just purge out.

Tot of Z, well I can see him for what he is. The good thing is that I no longer feel unlovable when he doesn't call as he said he would.
But I tot I deserved more. A few years ago I don't mind having such a relationship whereby both parties are freed up. But now I want a partner that is available. I want a companion, not a sideline. At least I now admit I am lonely. While I enjoy my aloneness, I wanted to have togetherness time.
Mmm, I tot I no longer feel unlovable. But I can see ego matching other pretty gals with Z. Anyway, I waived it aside.

Aiyah, let me just appreciate at least I am not projecting my need to him. I can see him not contacting as personal. I can see my jealousy. I can see all that. And we r meeting up, so let's see.

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