Nov 23 eve
Had a long afternoon nap. Went for a walk in the park. Been nearly two weeks since I was there. Nice feeling. Just watching my breathe and admiring the trees. I feel new, there were a few tots of past that flows in and I waived it off by saying new leaves. The trees let go of old leaves and welcome new leaves.
I saw many young couples with small children. I am happy for them and equally happy I don't have children.
Adhyatma Upanishad
Thus, knowing through your own experience that the soul is indivisible, be fulfilled and dwell blissfully in the changeless soul
Be in it, remain in it, stay in it and be settled in it. Just be one with it. Do not look outside. Just remember, rising up or sitting down, look for unconditional happiness. Whatsoever the situation, look for unconditional happiness. Just be happy.
Soul
Amen.
Adhyatma Upanishad
We are always demanding from others. We are demanding from those who are themselves demanding from us. It is a crowd of beggars, standing in front of one another with their begging bowls, hoping that something may be received - and all are begging.
I come to u so that u may give me some happiness, u come to me so that I may give u some happiness. Neither have I ever found any happiness within me, nor have u ever found any happiness within u. Hence all relationships give u only unhappiness. In the whole world, everybody is giving happiness to one another, and everybody is bitterly wailing that he is unhappy. Nobody seems to be happy.
In this world, there is only one way of becoming happy and that is not to go to anybody asking for happiness. It is not with others, it is within u. Dropping all ur demands you just stop seeking it.
Even if you are feeling unhappy, stay in it, wait; do not go begging from others. One day, suddenly, you will realised that, because u have dropped the habit of begging, a stone is removed and the stream pours out, filling every cell of ur body with happiness. This happiness is uncaused. Nobody can take it away from u, it is coming from within u. And then, it is possible that others who come into contact with you may get touched by the stream of ur happiness.
Soul
I did find my inner happiness. Just need to let it come out.
Adhyatma Upanishad
It is interesting to note that we demand happiness and we also want to give happiness. We are not able to give happiness and we are not able to get happiness.
A person whose own happiness has burst forth, whose own source had opened up, does not demand happiness from others, nor does he desire to give happiness to others. But from such a person happiness is simply received - by many. A Buddha never gives happiness to anybody, but just his presence. The flowers that have blossomed in him, with their fragrance, the fountain of happiness that has opened up within him, its murmuring sound - all these resonate and reach out to anybody who comes near to him, who is open and who is not sitting with his heart closed.
Soul
Amen.
Adhyatma Upanishad
Make yourself unconditional, drop all demands, give up all hope that happiness will come to u from others. Then, one day, happiness will be attained.
Soul
I already found my inner happiness. I truly have a wonderful life. I m learning appreciation.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Sadhana now become my way of life
Nov 23
Woke up 6.40 am but nice time to sleep so change alarm to 7.15 am. When alarm rang, don't feel like waking up cos yesterday was working and coming back stuck in traffic jam for two and half hour. Decided to give myself a break. Slept back until I want to wake up. Woke up 8.10 am. Took a quick shower and tot to do only Shakti cos want to go swimming.
When I sat for guru pooja, suddenly wanted to do Surya kriya and I knew that I want to stay in and finished all my practices instead of going to the pool. So did 5 cycle of Surya kriya, the third to fifth cycle was quite effortless. Did a long breathing, it was okay. Did a good Shakti with breathe watching. I was laughing loads in the end. Shambavi pales in comparison. Towards the end, good plough back. Just contentment.
There were two or three tots of past and I m able to catch it immediately and said new leaves. Old memories gone.
Soul
Something changed in me. Saw that M was bit down. The old me would want to make her up, validating myself. The new me sees that as trying to give love so that I can be loved. So, just let the tot go. I no longer need to validate my existence. I no longer need to give love to get love.
Woke up 6.40 am but nice time to sleep so change alarm to 7.15 am. When alarm rang, don't feel like waking up cos yesterday was working and coming back stuck in traffic jam for two and half hour. Decided to give myself a break. Slept back until I want to wake up. Woke up 8.10 am. Took a quick shower and tot to do only Shakti cos want to go swimming.
When I sat for guru pooja, suddenly wanted to do Surya kriya and I knew that I want to stay in and finished all my practices instead of going to the pool. So did 5 cycle of Surya kriya, the third to fifth cycle was quite effortless. Did a long breathing, it was okay. Did a good Shakti with breathe watching. I was laughing loads in the end. Shambavi pales in comparison. Towards the end, good plough back. Just contentment.
There were two or three tots of past and I m able to catch it immediately and said new leaves. Old memories gone.
Soul
Something changed in me. Saw that M was bit down. The old me would want to make her up, validating myself. The new me sees that as trying to give love so that I can be loved. So, just let the tot go. I no longer need to validate my existence. I no longer need to give love to get love.
Pluto in Fourth House
Nov 22 eve
I m so lucky I don't work on Friday. Heaviest jam. Took there road all jam. On the road for one and half hour and still far to go. I expect another one hour at least to go.
I m truly lucky to have a 3 days work week.
Cut my hair today, finally back to my regular hair dresser after a few months. My hair looks great now. I m back.
Pluto in Fourth House by Gargothill
Pluto in the Fourth House may also symbolize crisis issues involving protection, security and the home. At a deeper level, Pluto in the Fourth House is associated with a drive for you to transform your subconscious and entire behavior pattern.
Your psychological crises are also likely to involve a plunging into your subconscious. You may struggle to purify your subconscious and you may spend a good deal of time "fighting demons" within yourself.
You can realize the transcendent potential of Pluto in the Fourth House when you completely transform yourself from your foundation upward. With little in the way of support or encouragement, you may bootstrap your consciousness and character to a higher level of consciousness. You then overcome any false spiritual pride in the realization that you have never been alone in this struggle but that an Inner Power has supported you and still does so. You develop a profound sensitivity to Truth and you learn to act in accordance with this Truth. This requires a complete mental deconditioning and the resulting experience of the highest freedom--the freedom to act within the Higher Will. The alchemy of suffering breeds compassion in your breast. You learn to tenderly embrace what others hold dear and to "suffer the little children." Your foundation having been transformed, after this struggle, you quickly ascend to the heights of consciousness.
With Pluto in the Fourth House, the crisis producing and transformative energies of Pluto will act within the context of your home and family life. In a broader sense, any arena which provides you with protection and security may be vulnerable to crisis and disruption. Such crises may spring from subconscious motivations or may affect your subconscious, resulting in a psychological crisis.
When crisis results in transformation, you may find your outlook toward family and tradition profoundly altered. After a peak crisis, you may feel that your whole essence has been fundamentally changed and that your sense of personal security is no longer dependent upon external nurturing but is rooted in your own sense of Truth. If you are unable to undergo internal transformation, there is a danger that destructive changes will occur within your family and home environment.
You tend to associate power with preserving personal and emotional security; it is likely to be defensive in nature. At a higher level, you see power as derived from within, based on a strong personal foundation. You are likely to experience a higher Inner Power supportive. The image of Jesus (or any Holy Being) as a Rock is suggested by this placement.
You may feel that your sexuality is fundamental to your personhood. Sexuality may also be a strong theme in your experience of the subconscious.
Soul
Perhaps thats why I need my partner.
I m so lucky I don't work on Friday. Heaviest jam. Took there road all jam. On the road for one and half hour and still far to go. I expect another one hour at least to go.
I m truly lucky to have a 3 days work week.
Cut my hair today, finally back to my regular hair dresser after a few months. My hair looks great now. I m back.
Pluto in Fourth House by Gargothill
Pluto in the Fourth House may also symbolize crisis issues involving protection, security and the home. At a deeper level, Pluto in the Fourth House is associated with a drive for you to transform your subconscious and entire behavior pattern.
Your psychological crises are also likely to involve a plunging into your subconscious. You may struggle to purify your subconscious and you may spend a good deal of time "fighting demons" within yourself.
You can realize the transcendent potential of Pluto in the Fourth House when you completely transform yourself from your foundation upward. With little in the way of support or encouragement, you may bootstrap your consciousness and character to a higher level of consciousness. You then overcome any false spiritual pride in the realization that you have never been alone in this struggle but that an Inner Power has supported you and still does so. You develop a profound sensitivity to Truth and you learn to act in accordance with this Truth. This requires a complete mental deconditioning and the resulting experience of the highest freedom--the freedom to act within the Higher Will. The alchemy of suffering breeds compassion in your breast. You learn to tenderly embrace what others hold dear and to "suffer the little children." Your foundation having been transformed, after this struggle, you quickly ascend to the heights of consciousness.
With Pluto in the Fourth House, the crisis producing and transformative energies of Pluto will act within the context of your home and family life. In a broader sense, any arena which provides you with protection and security may be vulnerable to crisis and disruption. Such crises may spring from subconscious motivations or may affect your subconscious, resulting in a psychological crisis.
When crisis results in transformation, you may find your outlook toward family and tradition profoundly altered. After a peak crisis, you may feel that your whole essence has been fundamentally changed and that your sense of personal security is no longer dependent upon external nurturing but is rooted in your own sense of Truth. If you are unable to undergo internal transformation, there is a danger that destructive changes will occur within your family and home environment.
You tend to associate power with preserving personal and emotional security; it is likely to be defensive in nature. At a higher level, you see power as derived from within, based on a strong personal foundation. You are likely to experience a higher Inner Power supportive. The image of Jesus (or any Holy Being) as a Rock is suggested by this placement.
You may feel that your sexuality is fundamental to your personhood. Sexuality may also be a strong theme in your experience of the subconscious.
Soul
Perhaps thats why I need my partner.
The buck stops here
Nov 22 aft
My 52-Day Period Card
The Seven of Diamonds
The Seven of Diamonds is one of the spiritual money cards. When it appears we are always confronted with how attached we are to our money and given an opportunity to experience the real prosperity that comes with an attitude of gratitude.
Whether it is about money, plans to make money, or love, situations will present themselves that test our faith in the abundance of the universe. By realizing and then releasing our fears, we can transform our attachment into total fearlessness and personal freedom.
Soul
Slowly but surely can see this card evolving in me this period.
The buck stops here.
No more thinking that having a partner or any other external things can make me happier than now.
Now I am happy.
I have a wonderful life and I am enjoying my life.
No more wanting to give happiness in order to receive happiness.
My happiness is already flourishing.
And as Upanishad says, new leaves can grow only if old leaves drop.
So now my mantra is new beginning, new leaves.
Today card
My Daily Card
The Six of Clubs
The Six of Clubs is THE card of intuition. Its presence in your cards can indicate a time when your intuition will be stronger than usual. It is also the card of reponsibility in speech and communications and of making compromises to maintain a peaceful surrounding. When this card shows up, situations will arise that promote bringing your life into balance and stability. Whatever is out of balance will have to be adjusted so there may be karmic debts to pay.
On a more universal level, the presence of the Six of Clubs can indicate a time when we can become aware of a special purpose in our life, something to do with sharing higher knowledge with others. It has also been called the 'John the Baptist Card' and the 'Way-Shower's Card'. Thus it can be a harbinger of an important mission for you, one which will lead you to a higher purpose and lifestyle in the spiritual sense.
Soul
Yes, everything is coming into balance and stability.
This week Osho card
1. Issue - The Rebel
The powerful and authoritative figure in this card is clearly the master of his own destiny. On his shoulder is an emblem of the sun, and the torch he holds in his right hand symbolizes the light of his own hard-won truth. Whether he is wealthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colors of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky. His very way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it. The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky. The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.
Soul
Yes, the bucks stops here.
2. Internal influence that you are unable to see
Projections
This agency of the mind is the problem, because mind can create only dreams.... Through your excitement the dream starts looking like reality. If you are too excited then you are intoxicated, then you are not in your senses. Then whatsoever you see is just your projection. And there are as many worlds as there are minds, because every mind lives in his own world.
A projection can be devilish or divine, disturbing or comforting, but it is a projection nonetheless--a cloud that prevents us from seeing reality as it is. The only way out is to recognize the game.
3. External influence of which you are aware
New Vision
The figure on this card is being born anew, emerging from his earthbound roots and growing wings to fly into the unbounded. The geometric shapes around the body of the figure show the many dimensions of life simultaneously available to him. The square represents the physical, the manifest, the known. The circle represents the unmanifest, the spirit, pure space. And the triangle symbolizes the threefold nature of the universe: manifest, unmanifest, and the human being who contains both. Now you are presented with an opportunity to see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together, and when we come to know from experience that the dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world. By allowing all of life's colors to penetrate us, we become more integrated.
4.What is needed for resolution
Schizophrenia
The only way out of this dilemma is, unfortunately, to let go of both at once. You can't work your way out of this one by solving it, making lists of pros and cons, or in any way working it out with your mind. Better to follow your heart, if you can find it. If you can't find it, just jump--your heart will start beating so fast there will be no mistake about where it is!
Soul
No more in dilemma that I should let go of my wants...or let go of asking for more happiness.
I am not letting of wanting my husband...but I am letting go of thinking that my husband can make me more happier than what I am. I am letting go of more happiness.
I am as happy as I can be, right now.
5. Resolution: The understanding
The Master
The whole work of meditation is to make you aware of all that is "mind" and disidentify yourself from it. That very separation is the greatest revolution that can happen to man. Now you can do and act on only that which makes you more joyous, fulfills you, gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty. But this is possible only if the master in you is awake. Right now the master is fast asleep. And the mind, the servant, is playing the role of master. And the servant is created by the outside world, it follows the outside world and its laws. Once your awareness becomes a flame, it burns up the whole slavery that the mind has created. There is no blissfulness more precious than freedom, than being a master of your own destiny.
Soul
No more for the mind..now only for my Soul
My Soul is as happy as it can be.
My life is as wonderful as it can be
No more thinking nor searching for more happiness.
No more creating more valuation so that I can be more lovable.
No more improvement
No more proofing my valuation, my lovability
My 52-Day Period Card
The Seven of Diamonds
The Seven of Diamonds is one of the spiritual money cards. When it appears we are always confronted with how attached we are to our money and given an opportunity to experience the real prosperity that comes with an attitude of gratitude.
Whether it is about money, plans to make money, or love, situations will present themselves that test our faith in the abundance of the universe. By realizing and then releasing our fears, we can transform our attachment into total fearlessness and personal freedom.
Soul
Slowly but surely can see this card evolving in me this period.
The buck stops here.
No more thinking that having a partner or any other external things can make me happier than now.
Now I am happy.
I have a wonderful life and I am enjoying my life.
No more wanting to give happiness in order to receive happiness.
My happiness is already flourishing.
And as Upanishad says, new leaves can grow only if old leaves drop.
So now my mantra is new beginning, new leaves.
Today card
My Daily Card
The Six of Clubs
The Six of Clubs is THE card of intuition. Its presence in your cards can indicate a time when your intuition will be stronger than usual. It is also the card of reponsibility in speech and communications and of making compromises to maintain a peaceful surrounding. When this card shows up, situations will arise that promote bringing your life into balance and stability. Whatever is out of balance will have to be adjusted so there may be karmic debts to pay.
On a more universal level, the presence of the Six of Clubs can indicate a time when we can become aware of a special purpose in our life, something to do with sharing higher knowledge with others. It has also been called the 'John the Baptist Card' and the 'Way-Shower's Card'. Thus it can be a harbinger of an important mission for you, one which will lead you to a higher purpose and lifestyle in the spiritual sense.
Soul
Yes, everything is coming into balance and stability.
This week Osho card
1. Issue - The Rebel
The powerful and authoritative figure in this card is clearly the master of his own destiny. On his shoulder is an emblem of the sun, and the torch he holds in his right hand symbolizes the light of his own hard-won truth. Whether he is wealthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colors of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky. His very way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it. The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky. The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.
Soul
Yes, the bucks stops here.
2. Internal influence that you are unable to see
Projections
This agency of the mind is the problem, because mind can create only dreams.... Through your excitement the dream starts looking like reality. If you are too excited then you are intoxicated, then you are not in your senses. Then whatsoever you see is just your projection. And there are as many worlds as there are minds, because every mind lives in his own world.
A projection can be devilish or divine, disturbing or comforting, but it is a projection nonetheless--a cloud that prevents us from seeing reality as it is. The only way out is to recognize the game.
3. External influence of which you are aware
New Vision
The figure on this card is being born anew, emerging from his earthbound roots and growing wings to fly into the unbounded. The geometric shapes around the body of the figure show the many dimensions of life simultaneously available to him. The square represents the physical, the manifest, the known. The circle represents the unmanifest, the spirit, pure space. And the triangle symbolizes the threefold nature of the universe: manifest, unmanifest, and the human being who contains both. Now you are presented with an opportunity to see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together, and when we come to know from experience that the dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world. By allowing all of life's colors to penetrate us, we become more integrated.
4.What is needed for resolution
Schizophrenia
The only way out of this dilemma is, unfortunately, to let go of both at once. You can't work your way out of this one by solving it, making lists of pros and cons, or in any way working it out with your mind. Better to follow your heart, if you can find it. If you can't find it, just jump--your heart will start beating so fast there will be no mistake about where it is!
Soul
No more in dilemma that I should let go of my wants...or let go of asking for more happiness.
I am not letting of wanting my husband...but I am letting go of thinking that my husband can make me more happier than what I am. I am letting go of more happiness.
I am as happy as I can be, right now.
5. Resolution: The understanding
The Master
The whole work of meditation is to make you aware of all that is "mind" and disidentify yourself from it. That very separation is the greatest revolution that can happen to man. Now you can do and act on only that which makes you more joyous, fulfills you, gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty. But this is possible only if the master in you is awake. Right now the master is fast asleep. And the mind, the servant, is playing the role of master. And the servant is created by the outside world, it follows the outside world and its laws. Once your awareness becomes a flame, it burns up the whole slavery that the mind has created. There is no blissfulness more precious than freedom, than being a master of your own destiny.
Soul
No more for the mind..now only for my Soul
My Soul is as happy as it can be.
My life is as wonderful as it can be
No more thinking nor searching for more happiness.
No more creating more valuation so that I can be more lovable.
No more improvement
No more proofing my valuation, my lovability
New beginning accelerate the letting go
Nov 22
Woke up at 4 am upon alarm. Not so drowsy but want to savour the sleep as rain just came. Today is Friday, normally I m off but got meeting and get together today. Decided to sleep back and wake up 5 am. So just did one cycle of Surya kriya followed by practices. Did a long breathing, was okay. Shakti was good with breathe watching and I laughed at the end. Did quick preparatory steps for Shambavi. Towards the end just contentment. Plough back was good. Ended practices as 7.15 am upon alarm. From now on my focus is on Shakti and not Shambavi. Now that I know Samyama is from Shoonya; I begin to take Shakti seriously.
Had 2 tots of past and I immediately stopped it and said new beginning. No need to say it ended cos the mind continue to create. Best to say new beginning and mind will need to stop and ponder. Since mind is based on past, it doesn't know of new ideas and hence can't create tots. Whenever I said new beginnings, mind stop.
Adhyatma Upanishad
Old trees fall - it makes no difference because new ones come. In fact, because new leaves want to come, the old leaves fall. New one start pushing from within to come out, and the old ones begin to fall. As soon as the old leaf has fallen, a new one sprouts. The old conditions falls away only when new condition begins to push from within to come up the surface.
Soul
Since I didn't let go of the past, new beginnings can't happen.
Adhyatma Upanishad
On the trees, leaves grow. In the mind of man, conditions grow. Whosever's life is conditional, the outcome will be unhappiness. Whosoever's life is unconditional, whosoever is happy here and now without any reason - meaning, he whose happiness does not come from outside but from within; whose stream of happiness flows from within his own self, the source, the fountain - he is a fulfilled one. It is not something to be begged from others. Even if this whole world were to disappear, the moons were to disintegrate, there would be no change in the happiness of a fulfilled one.
But for you, there will be no difference to ur unhappiness even if the whole world were made as u wanted. Perhaps u will become unhappier. When all one's demands are met, one comes to realise that despite all that labour, all that hard work, nothing has really been gained. One becomes unhappier.
Woke up at 4 am upon alarm. Not so drowsy but want to savour the sleep as rain just came. Today is Friday, normally I m off but got meeting and get together today. Decided to sleep back and wake up 5 am. So just did one cycle of Surya kriya followed by practices. Did a long breathing, was okay. Shakti was good with breathe watching and I laughed at the end. Did quick preparatory steps for Shambavi. Towards the end just contentment. Plough back was good. Ended practices as 7.15 am upon alarm. From now on my focus is on Shakti and not Shambavi. Now that I know Samyama is from Shoonya; I begin to take Shakti seriously.
Had 2 tots of past and I immediately stopped it and said new beginning. No need to say it ended cos the mind continue to create. Best to say new beginning and mind will need to stop and ponder. Since mind is based on past, it doesn't know of new ideas and hence can't create tots. Whenever I said new beginnings, mind stop.
Adhyatma Upanishad
Old trees fall - it makes no difference because new ones come. In fact, because new leaves want to come, the old leaves fall. New one start pushing from within to come out, and the old ones begin to fall. As soon as the old leaf has fallen, a new one sprouts. The old conditions falls away only when new condition begins to push from within to come up the surface.
Soul
Since I didn't let go of the past, new beginnings can't happen.
Adhyatma Upanishad
On the trees, leaves grow. In the mind of man, conditions grow. Whosever's life is conditional, the outcome will be unhappiness. Whosoever's life is unconditional, whosoever is happy here and now without any reason - meaning, he whose happiness does not come from outside but from within; whose stream of happiness flows from within his own self, the source, the fountain - he is a fulfilled one. It is not something to be begged from others. Even if this whole world were to disappear, the moons were to disintegrate, there would be no change in the happiness of a fulfilled one.
But for you, there will be no difference to ur unhappiness even if the whole world were made as u wanted. Perhaps u will become unhappier. When all one's demands are met, one comes to realise that despite all that labour, all that hard work, nothing has really been gained. One becomes unhappier.
Sadhguru - 100% straight with yourself
Nov 21 eve
Did Samyama and then followed by Shoonya. I think that's a better option. Will continue with this. Went in deep for Shoonya.
Got this from FB
The people that are so quick to walk away are the ones that never intended to stay.
Soul
Mmmm
Anyway, now my aim is to be at ease on my own. The buck stops here now. I want my inner to shine on my own, here and now.
No more thinking that a partner can make me more happier than I m now.
Sadhguru
What you do not know, u do not assume. This is the most important thing. How you are with others is up to u. But at least with yourself, u must be 100% straight. There should be no compromise on this. If you are on a spiritual path and u compromise on being straight with urself even a little bit, after some time, u will have made a complete U-turn.
Nov 29
Soul
Father, to be straight..I do want one.
I will continue to enlarge the light within.
Did Samyama and then followed by Shoonya. I think that's a better option. Will continue with this. Went in deep for Shoonya.
Got this from FB
The people that are so quick to walk away are the ones that never intended to stay.
Soul
Mmmm
Anyway, now my aim is to be at ease on my own. The buck stops here now. I want my inner to shine on my own, here and now.
No more thinking that a partner can make me more happier than I m now.
Sadhguru
What you do not know, u do not assume. This is the most important thing. How you are with others is up to u. But at least with yourself, u must be 100% straight. There should be no compromise on this. If you are on a spiritual path and u compromise on being straight with urself even a little bit, after some time, u will have made a complete U-turn.
Nov 29
Soul
Father, to be straight..I do want one.
I will continue to enlarge the light within.
Seven of Hearts
Nov 21 aft 1
Seven of Hearts in Jupiter
The Seven of Hearts indicates that whatever time this card appears could be marked by many challenges in love and feelings in your close relationships. The Seven of Hearts can manifest as betrayal by those we love. In any case, we will be tested to see just how attached we are to others being a certain way.
Seven, being a highly spiritual number, promises success in love if you try a new approach and adopt a more selfless or unattached attitude. If we can allow others to be who they are and not place so many demands upon them, we not only become more aware of their true personalities, but also we allow ourselves the freedom to be just who we are and experience just how it feels to be free of fear and attachment. Many high spiritual experiences have occurred while a seven was present.
Soul
Just read Upanishad...now understand what this means..
To overcome Seven of Hearts..is liberation
Seven of Hearts in Jupiter
The Seven of Hearts indicates that whatever time this card appears could be marked by many challenges in love and feelings in your close relationships. The Seven of Hearts can manifest as betrayal by those we love. In any case, we will be tested to see just how attached we are to others being a certain way.
Seven, being a highly spiritual number, promises success in love if you try a new approach and adopt a more selfless or unattached attitude. If we can allow others to be who they are and not place so many demands upon them, we not only become more aware of their true personalities, but also we allow ourselves the freedom to be just who we are and experience just how it feels to be free of fear and attachment. Many high spiritual experiences have occurred while a seven was present.
Soul
Just read Upanishad...now understand what this means..
To overcome Seven of Hearts..is liberation
Siddha - fulfilled one, all roads end here
Nov 21 aft
Adyatmat Upanishad
Buddha
U will come to a state where there remains nothing to be attained or to be lost, and this become ur own experience - that nothing can be attained and nothing can be lost.
Soul
Feeling bit pensive. Tots of past still come in but more fleeting. At least now I learned not to hold on to it.
I come to realise I was the one holding on, prolonging it. Tots created by mind. It create cos somewhere I want to have a partner. So mind keeps creating to let me know something missing.
While I know I truly wanted a partner, I also knows the nagging feeling be there even if I m with one. So, want to see how to go beyond this.
Adyatmat Upanishad
Buddha
A fulfilled one, a siddha, is one whom there is no further journey, no further movement - one for whom the last camp, the last destination, has come. All roads end here.
An unfulfilled one, an asiddha, is as we are now. An ashiddha means one who still has something more to do, something has yet to happen for him to be happy, something has yet to be achieved after which happiness is expected to follow.
The happiness of unfulfilled one is dependent on something else. He has to meet certain woman, a certain man; he has to own a certain house, a certain piece of land; he has to have a certain position, has to become a president, a prime minister, or this or that. His happiness is somewhere, in something, in some object, and when that is achieved he will have happiness.
A siddha, the fulfilled one, means one who is happy in his own being. Whether he get something or whether he does not get something, is not the point. Whether something comes to him or something is taken away from him ... his happiness is not dependent on anything else but his own being; it is enough that 'I am'. There is no condition of any sort. One whose happiness is unconditional is a siddha. His happiness is here and now.
Soul
Read this in many forms and many times. But this time I m keen to take the plug.
Is there a way? To want something and yet to be okay when I don't get it.
If I don't pull this plug; no matter if I get what, the vicious cycle still continue.
Adyatmat Upanishad
Your happiness is always sometime and somewhere in the future. Happiness always keeps receding from u. That is the characteristic of an unfulfilled person. The characteristic of a fulfilled one is that happiness is here and now.
No conditions ever get fulfilled. And even if the conditions laid down are fulfilled, that condition-creating mind creates new conditions
Soul
Precisely. Never ending cycle. Let the buck stop here.
Adyatmat Upanishad
Buddha
U will come to a state where there remains nothing to be attained or to be lost, and this become ur own experience - that nothing can be attained and nothing can be lost.
Soul
Feeling bit pensive. Tots of past still come in but more fleeting. At least now I learned not to hold on to it.
I come to realise I was the one holding on, prolonging it. Tots created by mind. It create cos somewhere I want to have a partner. So mind keeps creating to let me know something missing.
While I know I truly wanted a partner, I also knows the nagging feeling be there even if I m with one. So, want to see how to go beyond this.
Adyatmat Upanishad
Buddha
A fulfilled one, a siddha, is one whom there is no further journey, no further movement - one for whom the last camp, the last destination, has come. All roads end here.
An unfulfilled one, an asiddha, is as we are now. An ashiddha means one who still has something more to do, something has yet to happen for him to be happy, something has yet to be achieved after which happiness is expected to follow.
The happiness of unfulfilled one is dependent on something else. He has to meet certain woman, a certain man; he has to own a certain house, a certain piece of land; he has to have a certain position, has to become a president, a prime minister, or this or that. His happiness is somewhere, in something, in some object, and when that is achieved he will have happiness.
A siddha, the fulfilled one, means one who is happy in his own being. Whether he get something or whether he does not get something, is not the point. Whether something comes to him or something is taken away from him ... his happiness is not dependent on anything else but his own being; it is enough that 'I am'. There is no condition of any sort. One whose happiness is unconditional is a siddha. His happiness is here and now.
Soul
Read this in many forms and many times. But this time I m keen to take the plug.
Is there a way? To want something and yet to be okay when I don't get it.
If I don't pull this plug; no matter if I get what, the vicious cycle still continue.
Adyatmat Upanishad
Your happiness is always sometime and somewhere in the future. Happiness always keeps receding from u. That is the characteristic of an unfulfilled person. The characteristic of a fulfilled one is that happiness is here and now.
No conditions ever get fulfilled. And even if the conditions laid down are fulfilled, that condition-creating mind creates new conditions
Soul
Precisely. Never ending cycle. Let the buck stop here.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Energy down after the high of Samyama in Ashram
Nov 21
Didn't do a proper Samyama yesterday evening cos did one earlier. Woke up not as fresh today at 4 am alarm. Felt like sleeping back but I didn't.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya followed by asanas. Quite okay. Breathing session was not easy today. Shakti was okay. Shambavi was okay too. Towards the end just silence. After the plough back I doze off. Woke up 7.12 am upon bird call.
Energy bit low after exposure of high energy in Samyama and ashram. Took a drink of water enhanced by Jeevarasa, feels better.
Adyatma Upanishad by Osho
Buddha
There is renunciation only if there is no expectation of getting anything in returns.
Didn't do a proper Samyama yesterday evening cos did one earlier. Woke up not as fresh today at 4 am alarm. Felt like sleeping back but I didn't.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya followed by asanas. Quite okay. Breathing session was not easy today. Shakti was okay. Shambavi was okay too. Towards the end just silence. After the plough back I doze off. Woke up 7.12 am upon bird call.
Energy bit low after exposure of high energy in Samyama and ashram. Took a drink of water enhanced by Jeevarasa, feels better.
Adyatma Upanishad by Osho
Buddha
There is renunciation only if there is no expectation of getting anything in returns.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
7 years period in Destiny and Ruling cards - age 42 to 48
Nov 20 aft 2
Reading Uranus in Fourth House...makes me think of my 7 years period of age 42 to 48...and now I am at age 46 and 4 months...another 1 year 8 months to age 48.
Everything is unfolding..
Truly..Nine of Clubs today...
7 year spread (42 to 48) in Ruling Card
Long range - Five of Diamonds (Change of values)
Important transition for u that will leave u in an entirely new place by ur next 7 year period. A fundamental change in what is most important to u will likely to cause major changes in ur job, approach to money and even rship.
U could even move to a new location during this powerful period of transition.
Since our lives are basically structured to provide us with the things we deem most important, when this inner picture of what is most important to us changes, our exterior world has no choice but to follow suit.
To get the most of this period, allow the changes to flow in ur life without trying to know exactly what lies ahead.
When u r in transition, u must change and depart from what has been, and the future is not always clear. But there are always clear skies ahead just beyond what we can see. It would be wise to expect changes and to not make big commitments until after next period.
Affirmation
I experience a major change in my values, which affect every important area of my life this period.
Pluto - Jack of Clubs
One of the major challenge is to develop the creativity to be successful in a mental field of interest, perhaps as a writer.
Another aspect is that of being dishonest or less than truthful. For this reason u may find events surfacing this period that relate to either ur own dishonesty or that of others.
On a deeper level, it can represent an initiation into higher knowledge. In any case, u will have to make a conscious effort to achieve ur goal or to deal with these creative, youthful and often immature energies of the Jack of Clubs.
Affirmation
I transform myself to become more mentally creative and successful this period. I begin a new and better life on an intellectual level.
Soul
True...I was initiated into Isha..
Z was being dishonest with me...got my replacement immediately.
I was being dishonest with myself for not expressing what I truly wanted in romantic and personal relationships.
I couldn't express cos while I want Z, I don't like the life style he had that is focused on material well being, always on over-commitment..and children which takes away my personal time and space...for enjoyment and spiritual practices.....thats my fear and will cause me to feel unstable..as mentioned in my Jupiter in Leo in Second House.
I was dishonest with myself in terms of leading local Isha..I truly don't want to do so but kept on out of fear of losing validation...out of years of suppressing my inner child.
Results - Five of Diamonds
This will be a period of many changes for u and as a result of dealing with ur Pluto card, u may find that by period's end, u r in a much different place than when the year started.
There may be new relationship, living location and a new career on the horizon.
Behind these changes, u r undergoing a shift in ur basic values.
At times, there may be some challenges as people and situations seem to confront u. But a change is inevitable. A change is coming that it will be a good one that leads u in new directions and provides much and more needed personal freedom
Displacement - Six of Spades.
Underlying theme is that of finding your true purpose in life. You will get some opportunities to fine tune ur direction in life and have the chance to discard any activities that are not contributing to u achieving ur heart-felt goals and desires.
Regardless of ur personal situation, destined events are very likely to occur this period, one that will change the course of ur life in s significant way. As all of this is going on, practice fairness in all ur dealings and u will be directed to the right path for u and ur fulfilment.
Soul
Lost my ambition for further career advancement.
Lost my validation for work challenges and boss challenges
Change into 3 days work week.
Now also lost the need to have friends challenges..
Lost my need for meat
Now losing my need for coffee as comfort drink...it is actually a stimulant
Next is lover challenges..no more..
7 years period for Destiny (age 42 to 48)
Long Range
Queen of Spade (Self Mastery)
Pluto
King of Spades (master of his work and of himself)
To accomplish a sense of mastery in ur life, perhaps even a leadership position in ur chosen line of work
U have to be a master in things u do. U have to care more for how well the job gets done than how u will be getting paid or what the final result of ur work going to be.
Affirmation
I develop true power and authority in my life by being willing to master all that I do and take full responsibility for my own successes and failures.
Results
Jack of Spades
Success in areas of creative writing or u will be exposed to spiritual discipline that will alter most every area of ur life.
Major transformation where u begin a entirely new lifestyle based on truth and higher wisdom.
This is also a poweful indicator that u could end up with some younger man of the Spades suit by 48.
Whether this be a friend, a lover or family member, there is strong indicator that u will be joined in some meaningful way.
Affirmation
I create myself to be a successful artist. I end up with a higher and healthier lifestyle.
Environment
Eight of Hearts
Favourable experiences with people. U will have much better success than usual with people. So, plunge ahead with assurance that u will get what u want. This is also a very good card for the healing of emotional wound.
Displacement
Four of Diamond.
U have to work a lot harder than u expected, but in many ways, this hard work could pay off in more success.
What u r being called upon to do is get really clear about what u want in ur life and then to be willing to put in the proper amount of work in order to achieve it
If either of these two ingredients is lacking, the results will diminish significantly.
The Four of Diamonds requires that we narrow down our focus and invest ourselves into just one or two directions so we may achieve more success.
Once we have this focus, all that is needed is some hard work to make some spectacular things happen.
Essentially, u will get what u work for. The more u put in, the more u get back.
It is very likely that u will receive more recognition for ur efforts towards the end.
U could also get promoted or in some way become better known or more popular.
Soul
Yea..taking 3 days work week so I can have more time for my sadhanas.
Waking up 4 am to do my practices.
Nearly 4 hours of sadhanas on weekday.
Reading Uranus in Fourth House...makes me think of my 7 years period of age 42 to 48...and now I am at age 46 and 4 months...another 1 year 8 months to age 48.
Everything is unfolding..
Truly..Nine of Clubs today...
7 year spread (42 to 48) in Ruling Card
Long range - Five of Diamonds (Change of values)
Important transition for u that will leave u in an entirely new place by ur next 7 year period. A fundamental change in what is most important to u will likely to cause major changes in ur job, approach to money and even rship.
U could even move to a new location during this powerful period of transition.
Since our lives are basically structured to provide us with the things we deem most important, when this inner picture of what is most important to us changes, our exterior world has no choice but to follow suit.
To get the most of this period, allow the changes to flow in ur life without trying to know exactly what lies ahead.
When u r in transition, u must change and depart from what has been, and the future is not always clear. But there are always clear skies ahead just beyond what we can see. It would be wise to expect changes and to not make big commitments until after next period.
Affirmation
I experience a major change in my values, which affect every important area of my life this period.
Pluto - Jack of Clubs
One of the major challenge is to develop the creativity to be successful in a mental field of interest, perhaps as a writer.
Another aspect is that of being dishonest or less than truthful. For this reason u may find events surfacing this period that relate to either ur own dishonesty or that of others.
On a deeper level, it can represent an initiation into higher knowledge. In any case, u will have to make a conscious effort to achieve ur goal or to deal with these creative, youthful and often immature energies of the Jack of Clubs.
Affirmation
I transform myself to become more mentally creative and successful this period. I begin a new and better life on an intellectual level.
Soul
True...I was initiated into Isha..
Z was being dishonest with me...got my replacement immediately.
I was being dishonest with myself for not expressing what I truly wanted in romantic and personal relationships.
I couldn't express cos while I want Z, I don't like the life style he had that is focused on material well being, always on over-commitment..and children which takes away my personal time and space...for enjoyment and spiritual practices.....thats my fear and will cause me to feel unstable..as mentioned in my Jupiter in Leo in Second House.
I was dishonest with myself in terms of leading local Isha..I truly don't want to do so but kept on out of fear of losing validation...out of years of suppressing my inner child.
Results - Five of Diamonds
This will be a period of many changes for u and as a result of dealing with ur Pluto card, u may find that by period's end, u r in a much different place than when the year started.
There may be new relationship, living location and a new career on the horizon.
Behind these changes, u r undergoing a shift in ur basic values.
At times, there may be some challenges as people and situations seem to confront u. But a change is inevitable. A change is coming that it will be a good one that leads u in new directions and provides much and more needed personal freedom
Displacement - Six of Spades.
Underlying theme is that of finding your true purpose in life. You will get some opportunities to fine tune ur direction in life and have the chance to discard any activities that are not contributing to u achieving ur heart-felt goals and desires.
Regardless of ur personal situation, destined events are very likely to occur this period, one that will change the course of ur life in s significant way. As all of this is going on, practice fairness in all ur dealings and u will be directed to the right path for u and ur fulfilment.
Soul
Lost my ambition for further career advancement.
Lost my validation for work challenges and boss challenges
Change into 3 days work week.
Now also lost the need to have friends challenges..
Lost my need for meat
Now losing my need for coffee as comfort drink...it is actually a stimulant
Next is lover challenges..no more..
7 years period for Destiny (age 42 to 48)
Long Range
Queen of Spade (Self Mastery)
Pluto
King of Spades (master of his work and of himself)
To accomplish a sense of mastery in ur life, perhaps even a leadership position in ur chosen line of work
U have to be a master in things u do. U have to care more for how well the job gets done than how u will be getting paid or what the final result of ur work going to be.
Affirmation
I develop true power and authority in my life by being willing to master all that I do and take full responsibility for my own successes and failures.
Results
Jack of Spades
Success in areas of creative writing or u will be exposed to spiritual discipline that will alter most every area of ur life.
Major transformation where u begin a entirely new lifestyle based on truth and higher wisdom.
This is also a poweful indicator that u could end up with some younger man of the Spades suit by 48.
Whether this be a friend, a lover or family member, there is strong indicator that u will be joined in some meaningful way.
Affirmation
I create myself to be a successful artist. I end up with a higher and healthier lifestyle.
Environment
Eight of Hearts
Favourable experiences with people. U will have much better success than usual with people. So, plunge ahead with assurance that u will get what u want. This is also a very good card for the healing of emotional wound.
Displacement
Four of Diamond.
U have to work a lot harder than u expected, but in many ways, this hard work could pay off in more success.
What u r being called upon to do is get really clear about what u want in ur life and then to be willing to put in the proper amount of work in order to achieve it
If either of these two ingredients is lacking, the results will diminish significantly.
The Four of Diamonds requires that we narrow down our focus and invest ourselves into just one or two directions so we may achieve more success.
Once we have this focus, all that is needed is some hard work to make some spectacular things happen.
Essentially, u will get what u work for. The more u put in, the more u get back.
It is very likely that u will receive more recognition for ur efforts towards the end.
U could also get promoted or in some way become better known or more popular.
Soul
Yea..taking 3 days work week so I can have more time for my sadhanas.
Waking up 4 am to do my practices.
Nearly 4 hours of sadhanas on weekday.
Uranus in Fourth House - quest for own True Home
Nov 20 aft 1
Uranus in the Fourth House by Gargatholil
Transformation-through-Revelation Focuses on Your Rootedness
Beyond the implications of this placement for your domestic life, Uranus in the Fourth House often symbolizes a deep existential restlessness of the spirit. You are searching for your foundation, for your roots, for your cosmic maternal source. Insight and revelation come to you from deep inside, from your subconscious mind. These impulses may be disturbing or inspirational, depending upon your receptivity. Thus, you may engage in a lifelong internal quest for your own True Home, or you may manifest an irritable, erratic and excitable nature, particularly to your own family.
Soul
So true.
Uranus in the Fourth House
Transcendent Potential
You can realize the transcendent potential of Uranus in the Fourth House when you inwardly know that you are a stranger in a strange land, an alien in this world who has lost your way Home. You are restless to find your source and to build a foundation for yourself that you can truly stand on. This is a foundation built of Idea and not subject to transitory change. To find your True Home and to build this foundation, you must seclude yourself, must protect yourself against the distractions of the mundane and reestablish yourself with the Fountain of Inspiration that lies within you. Revelation is to be found within your own heart, for this is the place of your Real Home.
Soul
so true..and I am on track.
Uranus in the Fourth House
Insecurity
If you are inwardly insecure, this is because you have no firm foundation in your life. You feel as if the rug may be pulled out from under you at any time and, therefore, you try to protect yourself against sudden change as much as possible. You may resist and fear change but, nevertheless, change and instability overwhelm you.
Your nature is restless, but you are directionless. You drift and change with the winds. You have no internal anchor, no real home. You may be afraid of being abandoned and you are likely to fear many things, many things lurking and ready to spring from your past and from the bottomlessness of your subconscious mind.
Soul
So true...
Uranus in the Fourth House
Your Focus of Individuation
Through the process of individuation, you seek a transformation of your core and your foundation. This is a thorough transformative process from your roots upward. The first step in the individuation process is often for you to separate yourself, psychologically, emotionally and sometimes physically, from your family in an effort to define your own independent identity. Though this is a natural process during adolescence, you may engage in this separation more strongly and/or earlier than normal. It may even appear to be rebelliousness, but any rebelliousness is, in reality, a search for the real self. Ultimately, if the individuation process is to complete itself, you must gain conscious awareness of your independence and sufficient confidence in your own identity so that you are able to become, again, a part of your family without any threat felt to the integrity of your own identity.
This individuation from the influence of family also often includes a rejection of your background and heritage in your attempt to strip away the conditioning influences of that background. More broadly even, Uranus in the Fourth House symbolizes your attempts to free yourself from all conditioning and collective identity in order to find your own authenticity.
Your Focus of Change
For you, change often occurs within the family or within your domestic life. You may also want to change your home and surrounding environment. This may mean redecorating every few years or picking up and moving frequently. This attention to changing your home is often symbolic of a deeper restlessness of which you may not be fully conscious.
Soul
So true...no wonder my age 42 to 48 is on Five of Diamonds..truly the period I start to change. It was advised not to have any fixed plan or commitment until age 48.
I renovated my room.
I now even got my own Sadhana hall
I dont take red and white meat.
I wake up 4 am to do yoga and meditation
Truly a separation from my family culture....
Thats why now I also need to breakthru the Isha normal mode of volunteering..cos thats not me too..
Focus of Your New Directions and Insight
You may attain and implement insights and new ideas that pertain to family and domestic life. These may involve your home and your domestic surroundings, new ideas about family roles or new ideas about the place of the family in your life. In modern times, this may translate into a higher tolerance for instability within the family. Beyond this, you can be receptive to insights into your own emotions and subconscious patterns and to consequent new directions in your approach to your interior self. For some, the insight and revelation symbolized by Uranus will be fundamental in nature, resulting in firmly rooted and profound changes in direction and life innovations.
Soul
Truly understand why Z was not meant to be...
I truly don't want to have children....I want a marriage of inner and outer compatibility. Both parties mutually attracted and support each other in their growth individually and together.
I am not looking at society growth..
But doesn't mean there is no femininity in me.
7 year spread (42 to 48) in Ruling Card
Long range - Five of Diamonds (Change of values)
Important transition for u that will leave u in an entirely new place by ur next 7 year period. A fundamental change in what is most important to u will likely to cause major changes in ur job, approach to money and even rship.
U could even move to a new location during this powerful period of transition.
Since our lives are basically structured to provide us with the things we deem most important, when this inner picture of what is most important to us changes, our exterior world has no choice but to follow suit.
To get the most of this period, allow the changes to flow in ur life without trying to know exactly what lies ahead.
When u r in transition, u must change and depart from what has been, and the future is not always clear. But there are always clear skies ahead just beyond what we can see. It would be wise to expect changes and to not make big commitments until after next period.
Affirmation
I experience a major change in my values, which affect every important area of my life this period.
Pluto - Jack of Clubs
One of the major challenge is to develop the creativity to be successful in a mental field of interest, perhaps as a writer.
Another aspect is that of being dishonest or less than truthful. For this reason u may find events surfacing this period that relate to either ur own dishonesty or that of others.
On a deeper level, it can represent an initiation into higher knowledge.
In any case, u will have to make a conscious effort to achieve ur goal or to deal with these creative, youthful and often immature energies of the Jack of Clubs.
Affirmation
I transform myself to become more mentally creative and successful this year. I begin a new and better life on an intellectual level.
Soul
True...I was initiated into Isha..
Z was being dishonest with me...got my replacement immediately.
I was being dishonest with myself for not expressing what I truly wanted in romantic and personal relationships.
I couldn't express cos while I want Z, I don't the life style he had that is focused on material well being, always on over-commitment..and children which takes away my personal time and space...for enjoyment and spiritual pratices.....thats my fear and will cause me to feel unstable..as mentioned in my Jupiter in Leo in Second House.
Results - Five of Diamonds
This will be a period of many changes for u and as a result of dealing with ur Pluto card, u may find that by period's end, u r in a much different place than when the year started.
There may be new relationship, living location and a new career on the horizon.
Behind these changes, u r undergoing a shift in ur basic values.
At times, there may be some challenges as people and situations seem to confront u. But a change is inevitable. A change is coming that it will be a good one that leads u in new directions and provides much and more needed personal freedom
Displacement - Six of spades.
Underlying theme is that of finding your true purpose in life. You will get some opportunities to fine tune ur direction in life and have the chance to discard any activities that are not contributing to u achieving ur heart-felt goals and desires.
Regardless of ur personal situation, destined events are very likely to occur this period, one that will change the course of ur life in s significant way. As all of this is going on, practice fairness in all ur dealings and u will be directed to the right path for u and ur fulfilment.
Uranus in the Fourth House by Gargatholil
Transformation-through-Revelation Focuses on Your Rootedness
Beyond the implications of this placement for your domestic life, Uranus in the Fourth House often symbolizes a deep existential restlessness of the spirit. You are searching for your foundation, for your roots, for your cosmic maternal source. Insight and revelation come to you from deep inside, from your subconscious mind. These impulses may be disturbing or inspirational, depending upon your receptivity. Thus, you may engage in a lifelong internal quest for your own True Home, or you may manifest an irritable, erratic and excitable nature, particularly to your own family.
Soul
So true.
Uranus in the Fourth House
Transcendent Potential
You can realize the transcendent potential of Uranus in the Fourth House when you inwardly know that you are a stranger in a strange land, an alien in this world who has lost your way Home. You are restless to find your source and to build a foundation for yourself that you can truly stand on. This is a foundation built of Idea and not subject to transitory change. To find your True Home and to build this foundation, you must seclude yourself, must protect yourself against the distractions of the mundane and reestablish yourself with the Fountain of Inspiration that lies within you. Revelation is to be found within your own heart, for this is the place of your Real Home.
Soul
so true..and I am on track.
Uranus in the Fourth House
Insecurity
If you are inwardly insecure, this is because you have no firm foundation in your life. You feel as if the rug may be pulled out from under you at any time and, therefore, you try to protect yourself against sudden change as much as possible. You may resist and fear change but, nevertheless, change and instability overwhelm you.
Your nature is restless, but you are directionless. You drift and change with the winds. You have no internal anchor, no real home. You may be afraid of being abandoned and you are likely to fear many things, many things lurking and ready to spring from your past and from the bottomlessness of your subconscious mind.
Soul
So true...
Uranus in the Fourth House
Your Focus of Individuation
Through the process of individuation, you seek a transformation of your core and your foundation. This is a thorough transformative process from your roots upward. The first step in the individuation process is often for you to separate yourself, psychologically, emotionally and sometimes physically, from your family in an effort to define your own independent identity. Though this is a natural process during adolescence, you may engage in this separation more strongly and/or earlier than normal. It may even appear to be rebelliousness, but any rebelliousness is, in reality, a search for the real self. Ultimately, if the individuation process is to complete itself, you must gain conscious awareness of your independence and sufficient confidence in your own identity so that you are able to become, again, a part of your family without any threat felt to the integrity of your own identity.
This individuation from the influence of family also often includes a rejection of your background and heritage in your attempt to strip away the conditioning influences of that background. More broadly even, Uranus in the Fourth House symbolizes your attempts to free yourself from all conditioning and collective identity in order to find your own authenticity.
Your Focus of Change
For you, change often occurs within the family or within your domestic life. You may also want to change your home and surrounding environment. This may mean redecorating every few years or picking up and moving frequently. This attention to changing your home is often symbolic of a deeper restlessness of which you may not be fully conscious.
Soul
So true...no wonder my age 42 to 48 is on Five of Diamonds..truly the period I start to change. It was advised not to have any fixed plan or commitment until age 48.
I renovated my room.
I now even got my own Sadhana hall
I dont take red and white meat.
I wake up 4 am to do yoga and meditation
Truly a separation from my family culture....
Thats why now I also need to breakthru the Isha normal mode of volunteering..cos thats not me too..
Focus of Your New Directions and Insight
You may attain and implement insights and new ideas that pertain to family and domestic life. These may involve your home and your domestic surroundings, new ideas about family roles or new ideas about the place of the family in your life. In modern times, this may translate into a higher tolerance for instability within the family. Beyond this, you can be receptive to insights into your own emotions and subconscious patterns and to consequent new directions in your approach to your interior self. For some, the insight and revelation symbolized by Uranus will be fundamental in nature, resulting in firmly rooted and profound changes in direction and life innovations.
Soul
Truly understand why Z was not meant to be...
I truly don't want to have children....I want a marriage of inner and outer compatibility. Both parties mutually attracted and support each other in their growth individually and together.
I am not looking at society growth..
But doesn't mean there is no femininity in me.
7 year spread (42 to 48) in Ruling Card
Long range - Five of Diamonds (Change of values)
Important transition for u that will leave u in an entirely new place by ur next 7 year period. A fundamental change in what is most important to u will likely to cause major changes in ur job, approach to money and even rship.
U could even move to a new location during this powerful period of transition.
Since our lives are basically structured to provide us with the things we deem most important, when this inner picture of what is most important to us changes, our exterior world has no choice but to follow suit.
To get the most of this period, allow the changes to flow in ur life without trying to know exactly what lies ahead.
When u r in transition, u must change and depart from what has been, and the future is not always clear. But there are always clear skies ahead just beyond what we can see. It would be wise to expect changes and to not make big commitments until after next period.
Affirmation
I experience a major change in my values, which affect every important area of my life this period.
Pluto - Jack of Clubs
One of the major challenge is to develop the creativity to be successful in a mental field of interest, perhaps as a writer.
Another aspect is that of being dishonest or less than truthful. For this reason u may find events surfacing this period that relate to either ur own dishonesty or that of others.
On a deeper level, it can represent an initiation into higher knowledge.
In any case, u will have to make a conscious effort to achieve ur goal or to deal with these creative, youthful and often immature energies of the Jack of Clubs.
Affirmation
I transform myself to become more mentally creative and successful this year. I begin a new and better life on an intellectual level.
Soul
True...I was initiated into Isha..
Z was being dishonest with me...got my replacement immediately.
I was being dishonest with myself for not expressing what I truly wanted in romantic and personal relationships.
I couldn't express cos while I want Z, I don't the life style he had that is focused on material well being, always on over-commitment..and children which takes away my personal time and space...for enjoyment and spiritual pratices.....thats my fear and will cause me to feel unstable..as mentioned in my Jupiter in Leo in Second House.
Results - Five of Diamonds
This will be a period of many changes for u and as a result of dealing with ur Pluto card, u may find that by period's end, u r in a much different place than when the year started.
There may be new relationship, living location and a new career on the horizon.
Behind these changes, u r undergoing a shift in ur basic values.
At times, there may be some challenges as people and situations seem to confront u. But a change is inevitable. A change is coming that it will be a good one that leads u in new directions and provides much and more needed personal freedom
Displacement - Six of spades.
Underlying theme is that of finding your true purpose in life. You will get some opportunities to fine tune ur direction in life and have the chance to discard any activities that are not contributing to u achieving ur heart-felt goals and desires.
Regardless of ur personal situation, destined events are very likely to occur this period, one that will change the course of ur life in s significant way. As all of this is going on, practice fairness in all ur dealings and u will be directed to the right path for u and ur fulfilment.
Saturn in Tenth House - spiritual goal
Nov 20 aft
Environment - Ace of Heart
This is a year when new beginnings in the area of personal relationship will bring many rewards and blessings to u.
Whether u start a new love affair or help bring a new child into this world, this is the time for u to discover just what helps u love yourself the most. This is likely to be a year of joy and pleasure, and the focus will be on you, your needs and attracting to you, other people that will fulfil you on the deepest level.
Venus in Third house
The closer you can attain to pure experiential reality, the closer you may be drawn to your feminine side. You may also get in touch with the feminine side of your psyche through conversation.
Soul
No wonder I need to write..
And this trip was mainly connection with Linga Bhairavi...
I admit that my femininity is coming up...
I am feeling okay with babies too.
Saturn in Aries in Tenth House
Transcendent Potential
You can realize the transcendent potential of Saturn in the Tenth House when, rather than being focused on achieving material goals and achieving status in the eyes of the world, you look for something of real value to accomplish. You then become dissatisfied with the lesser goals of life. You now set the highest standard for yourself and you set as your goal to attain that standard.
This requires a great deal of discipline and even purification. You must become single-minded in your commitment to your goal. Nothing must distract you and ultimately, you must have no other goals in your life but the attainment to this Highest of All. Ultimately, of course, you must give up your own--meaning your ego's--effort and any idea that you can accomplish that Goal. Only the absolutely Pure can reach to that Level to which you have aspired.
Soul
This relates to my dream of Self Mastery using samadhi method via Isha tools.
Saturn in Aries in Tenth House
Focus of Your Insecurity and Your Challenge to Overcome Limitation
Another manifestation of Saturn in the Tenth House is that, in most of your endeavors, you must overcome some limitation or obstacle in order to succeed. Therefore, you are continually faced with challenges in life. This may motivate you to greater success or it may discourage you from trying.
Soul
Tell me about it.
This path via Isha really tested me on my food..and my resistance to Sadhguru
It took me 5 years to finally breakthrough.
Now I have accepted my Guru and my samadhi path
Saturn in Aries in Tenth House
Focus of Your Externally Imposed "Lessons"
You are most likely to suffer lessons in life that are designed to straighten you out or get you to shape up through or in your career or when trying to achieve something major in your life. These lessons are most likely to take the form of intractable obstacles or crushing disappointments, although sometimes the lesson is imposed only by a delay in your success. The lesson may be designed to teach you that you cannot rely solely on your own efforts or to dethrone your arrogance about your status and achievements. The lesson may also be designed to show you what you can actually accomplish if you make the effort and take a disciplined approach.
Your personality may also express undertones of Saturn-in-Capricorn.
Soul
True..got loads of challenges in my life..but I overcome all.
No more validation required....
Such irony..
I tot a successful relationship with Z was all that I need to overcome my fear of failure
turns out the failed relationship with Z made me stronger and now I know that I don't need a miracle to have a succesful romantic relationship.
And alas I can do kapalvriksha.
Environment - Ace of Heart
This is a year when new beginnings in the area of personal relationship will bring many rewards and blessings to u.
Whether u start a new love affair or help bring a new child into this world, this is the time for u to discover just what helps u love yourself the most. This is likely to be a year of joy and pleasure, and the focus will be on you, your needs and attracting to you, other people that will fulfil you on the deepest level.
Venus in Third house
The closer you can attain to pure experiential reality, the closer you may be drawn to your feminine side. You may also get in touch with the feminine side of your psyche through conversation.
Soul
No wonder I need to write..
And this trip was mainly connection with Linga Bhairavi...
I admit that my femininity is coming up...
I am feeling okay with babies too.
Saturn in Aries in Tenth House
Transcendent Potential
You can realize the transcendent potential of Saturn in the Tenth House when, rather than being focused on achieving material goals and achieving status in the eyes of the world, you look for something of real value to accomplish. You then become dissatisfied with the lesser goals of life. You now set the highest standard for yourself and you set as your goal to attain that standard.
This requires a great deal of discipline and even purification. You must become single-minded in your commitment to your goal. Nothing must distract you and ultimately, you must have no other goals in your life but the attainment to this Highest of All. Ultimately, of course, you must give up your own--meaning your ego's--effort and any idea that you can accomplish that Goal. Only the absolutely Pure can reach to that Level to which you have aspired.
Soul
This relates to my dream of Self Mastery using samadhi method via Isha tools.
Saturn in Aries in Tenth House
Focus of Your Insecurity and Your Challenge to Overcome Limitation
Another manifestation of Saturn in the Tenth House is that, in most of your endeavors, you must overcome some limitation or obstacle in order to succeed. Therefore, you are continually faced with challenges in life. This may motivate you to greater success or it may discourage you from trying.
Soul
Tell me about it.
This path via Isha really tested me on my food..and my resistance to Sadhguru
It took me 5 years to finally breakthrough.
Now I have accepted my Guru and my samadhi path
Saturn in Aries in Tenth House
Focus of Your Externally Imposed "Lessons"
You are most likely to suffer lessons in life that are designed to straighten you out or get you to shape up through or in your career or when trying to achieve something major in your life. These lessons are most likely to take the form of intractable obstacles or crushing disappointments, although sometimes the lesson is imposed only by a delay in your success. The lesson may be designed to teach you that you cannot rely solely on your own efforts or to dethrone your arrogance about your status and achievements. The lesson may also be designed to show you what you can actually accomplish if you make the effort and take a disciplined approach.
Your personality may also express undertones of Saturn-in-Capricorn.
Soul
True..got loads of challenges in my life..but I overcome all.
No more validation required....
Such irony..
I tot a successful relationship with Z was all that I need to overcome my fear of failure
turns out the failed relationship with Z made me stronger and now I know that I don't need a miracle to have a succesful romantic relationship.
And alas I can do kapalvriksha.
Nine of Spades and Nine of Diamonds - every death is a new beginning
Nov 20
Slept late around 12.30 am.
Woke up at alarm at 7.15 am. Had a good dream of a nice bakery with oven fresh bread.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya after guru pooja. Breathing was lovely, followed by Shakti.
Shakti was good and I was laughing at the end.
Since I have to leave for breakfast, did an abridged Shambavi..equally powerful.
Sat as long as I could before I had to go.
So at peace and love with myself.
Came back from breakfast, wash the copper pot and get it ready to be used. Will use it later this evening.
Had been updating my blog.
Today, I felt an ending of the past. Now just new beginning ahead.
Now I understand what my Osho transformation card meant, no death is death. Every death is new beginning. I have the option of feeling sad for the death or celebrate new beginning.
I am celebrating and savouring my new found freedom to wish for what I want.
My wishes has come through, yantra and copper pot...next will be my husband.
I am not sure if that will eventually feel the emptiness within but I know thats what my inner child need and I will give.
I had denied my inner child for so long.
Finally ending the inner parental mode and with that outer parental mode 'friends' are either gone from my life or converted into true friends.
Yea...thats its. Ending of Parental mode...finally my child can come out.
I told A yesterday, that I feel so sad that my face/body cannot express the feelings within. Even when I was feeling such enormous sadness, but it is not reflected. Thats means I have suppressed it loads. No more suppression of my inner child. Will give it what it needs.
My Daily Card
The Nine of Clubs
The Nine of Clubs literally means 'completion of plans or ideas'. When this card appears it will signal a time when some ideas, ways of thinking or communicating, or some personal plans of yours are ready to end. If you choose to resist this ending, you will experience great disappointment, stubbornly holding on to things, ideas or plans that are no longer useful or helpful to you. If it seems that things are going against you when this card is present, it is probably because you are resisting letting go of something, that in reality, is no longer doing you any good.
On the positive side, you are ready to awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than you have imagined. The Nine of Clubs has been known to signal a time when powerful spiritual experiences may occur, such as universal consciousness, and also indicates the success of any endeavors that involve spreading higher truths to the world.
Soul
Finally new beginning...
Truly glad I did the clearing of aura at Linga followed by wishing at Linga
So fitting to my this year Destiny card
Results - Nine of Spades
Somehow associated with ur Pluto card, this year will be the element of 'ending'. This could be death of someone u know, a job or health habits that have created the problems u may now be experiencing.
This letting go will certainly take u to a better place, a state of mind where u will be more free to live as u please.
U r ending a major chapter in ur life that will lead u to a new beginning that is just around the corner. In this process, there may be things that u have been doing for a long time that u will now let go of and stop doing. Let go and live.
Affirmation - I learn to let go of people, lifestyle habits, and jobs that have completed their purpose in my life. They are fulfilled and I am free to move on the new and better things.
Soul
Definitely, an ending of how I conduct my personal friendships and how I would begin my romantic relationships.
Environment - Nine of Diamonds
Giving up things, people or jobs that u once valued highly will bring many blessings and rewards this year.
On some level, this is a year to let go of the past and prepare to move on to many new and better things.
Usually we are afraid to let go of things in our life, afraid that the loss will deprive us of something important and essential to our happiness. However, this year u are protected, and all completions will bring u greater fortune and happiness.
Soul
Yeap
On the right track.
Coffee is no longer my comfort drink..it is a pleasure drink which I indulge now and then.
And the transformation card I received during Samyama said the same...Death is not death...Death is not a time for sadness but a time for celerbration
Slept late around 12.30 am.
Woke up at alarm at 7.15 am. Had a good dream of a nice bakery with oven fresh bread.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya after guru pooja. Breathing was lovely, followed by Shakti.
Shakti was good and I was laughing at the end.
Since I have to leave for breakfast, did an abridged Shambavi..equally powerful.
Sat as long as I could before I had to go.
So at peace and love with myself.
Came back from breakfast, wash the copper pot and get it ready to be used. Will use it later this evening.
Had been updating my blog.
Today, I felt an ending of the past. Now just new beginning ahead.
Now I understand what my Osho transformation card meant, no death is death. Every death is new beginning. I have the option of feeling sad for the death or celebrate new beginning.
I am celebrating and savouring my new found freedom to wish for what I want.
My wishes has come through, yantra and copper pot...next will be my husband.
I am not sure if that will eventually feel the emptiness within but I know thats what my inner child need and I will give.
I had denied my inner child for so long.
Finally ending the inner parental mode and with that outer parental mode 'friends' are either gone from my life or converted into true friends.
Yea...thats its. Ending of Parental mode...finally my child can come out.
I told A yesterday, that I feel so sad that my face/body cannot express the feelings within. Even when I was feeling such enormous sadness, but it is not reflected. Thats means I have suppressed it loads. No more suppression of my inner child. Will give it what it needs.
My Daily Card
The Nine of Clubs
The Nine of Clubs literally means 'completion of plans or ideas'. When this card appears it will signal a time when some ideas, ways of thinking or communicating, or some personal plans of yours are ready to end. If you choose to resist this ending, you will experience great disappointment, stubbornly holding on to things, ideas or plans that are no longer useful or helpful to you. If it seems that things are going against you when this card is present, it is probably because you are resisting letting go of something, that in reality, is no longer doing you any good.
On the positive side, you are ready to awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than you have imagined. The Nine of Clubs has been known to signal a time when powerful spiritual experiences may occur, such as universal consciousness, and also indicates the success of any endeavors that involve spreading higher truths to the world.
Soul
Finally new beginning...
Truly glad I did the clearing of aura at Linga followed by wishing at Linga
So fitting to my this year Destiny card
Results - Nine of Spades
Somehow associated with ur Pluto card, this year will be the element of 'ending'. This could be death of someone u know, a job or health habits that have created the problems u may now be experiencing.
This letting go will certainly take u to a better place, a state of mind where u will be more free to live as u please.
U r ending a major chapter in ur life that will lead u to a new beginning that is just around the corner. In this process, there may be things that u have been doing for a long time that u will now let go of and stop doing. Let go and live.
Affirmation - I learn to let go of people, lifestyle habits, and jobs that have completed their purpose in my life. They are fulfilled and I am free to move on the new and better things.
Soul
Definitely, an ending of how I conduct my personal friendships and how I would begin my romantic relationships.
Environment - Nine of Diamonds
Giving up things, people or jobs that u once valued highly will bring many blessings and rewards this year.
On some level, this is a year to let go of the past and prepare to move on to many new and better things.
Usually we are afraid to let go of things in our life, afraid that the loss will deprive us of something important and essential to our happiness. However, this year u are protected, and all completions will bring u greater fortune and happiness.
Soul
Yeap
On the right track.
Coffee is no longer my comfort drink..it is a pleasure drink which I indulge now and then.
And the transformation card I received during Samyama said the same...Death is not death...Death is not a time for sadness but a time for celerbration
Finally my karma with parental mode is over
Nov 19 eve
Today card is Six of Diamonds in Venus. Settlement of values in relationships.
Had communication with two Parental mode persons in my life, S and P.
S called me and I was professional. She sounded bit sad but I am no longer moved. She make her choice and I made mine. She no longer welcomed in my space.
P called to have dinner. We had a good one, long chat and shared our feelings. We came clean and now can see that we both are similar in some ways. We reached a good understanding and friendship is strengthened. She will remain in my circle.
Father, I now protect my space. I know now I m still not strong and need not pretend to be.
Today card is Six of Diamonds in Venus. Settlement of values in relationships.
Had communication with two Parental mode persons in my life, S and P.
S called me and I was professional. She sounded bit sad but I am no longer moved. She make her choice and I made mine. She no longer welcomed in my space.
P called to have dinner. We had a good one, long chat and shared our feelings. We came clean and now can see that we both are similar in some ways. We reached a good understanding and friendship is strengthened. She will remain in my circle.
Father, I now protect my space. I know now I m still not strong and need not pretend to be.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Still flying with Shakti Chalana Kriya
Nov 19
Woke up at 4 am upon alarm. Body was quite fresh. Did Surya kriya, leg alignment not great but limbs are quite flexible and the 5 cycles seems effortless. No more feeling out of breathe. Did a longer breathing session but not great. Shakti was good, done with awareness. A little tot of past came in third cycle of Kapala Bhakti and I brought myself back. Towards the end laughing with joy. Shambavi was good. Ended session at 7 am and I just wanted to sleep a bit as it was a cosy morning.
Had a good breakfast but no coffee. Just hot lime juice. I am keeping coffee but drinking it when I want to rather than having it as a routine drink.
On Facebook, after one week of no data plan I seem to lose interest. Not sure but could be fleeting disinterest.
Adhyatma Upanishad
U find a thing to be worthless only when u have it in plenty. When one become bored with happiness and one's whole being is filled with a quest to go beyond happiness, religion is born.
The journey towards the world means how to get rid of unhappiness, and the journey towards nirvana means how to rid of happiness too.
The more u go on accumulating - the more ur possessions increase, the more they expand - the more the centre of self goes on disappearing, getting covered.
Woke up at 4 am upon alarm. Body was quite fresh. Did Surya kriya, leg alignment not great but limbs are quite flexible and the 5 cycles seems effortless. No more feeling out of breathe. Did a longer breathing session but not great. Shakti was good, done with awareness. A little tot of past came in third cycle of Kapala Bhakti and I brought myself back. Towards the end laughing with joy. Shambavi was good. Ended session at 7 am and I just wanted to sleep a bit as it was a cosy morning.
Had a good breakfast but no coffee. Just hot lime juice. I am keeping coffee but drinking it when I want to rather than having it as a routine drink.
On Facebook, after one week of no data plan I seem to lose interest. Not sure but could be fleeting disinterest.
Adhyatma Upanishad
U find a thing to be worthless only when u have it in plenty. When one become bored with happiness and one's whole being is filled with a quest to go beyond happiness, religion is born.
The journey towards the world means how to get rid of unhappiness, and the journey towards nirvana means how to rid of happiness too.
The more u go on accumulating - the more ur possessions increase, the more they expand - the more the centre of self goes on disappearing, getting covered.
Sharing my new found self, my true values
Nov 18
Told P about my samadhi path. I m now aware of why I m resentful of being a Sathsang guide. Also of the fact that not only I got to be the guide, I have to be the coordinator too as V is only the technical side. I also lost the ability to be on samadhi, falling during every sathsang.
I also shared I m truly not keen on volunteering. I m not keen to be a guide. I just want to focus on my path. I had difficulty in knowing my feelings. But now I m cleared.
I told her I cried with Vijii. I can relate why Vijji took the energy and went into samadhi just before the consecration of Dhynalinga. I m sure others would have tot she was selfish. Just like when I ran off just before Sadhguru's visit, others tot me selfish too. But I just couldn't stay. I had to go.
She too shared with me that she was resentful of me when I quit leading local Isha just before Sadhguru's visit.
I told her that I just want to focus on my samadhi path. To fall into Sadhguru's grace. My sadhana hall is complete. I m finally comfortable with myself. Finally realised I was feeling unease. My path is cleared now. I will take a back stand on being core team. I will be here but no longer active as before. Will be here as needed. She too shared she needs a break, she want to focus on her sadhana too. We both don't want to helm local Isha.
Now working with Linga, on my feminine divinity.
Me just want to be on total path of Isha on my samadhi path.
Soul
Mmm, no wonder Four of Diamonds today.
The Four of Diamonds
The Four of Diamonds means a solid sense of values that attracts enough money to meet our security needs and then some. When we know exactly what it is we want, we tend to attract those things to us more quickly. Thus, when this card shows up, it usually means that we have gotten clear about what we want and then we get it. Satisfaction and prosperity are indicated here and you may have a good foundation upon which you can begin building a financial future. Managing your resources could come into focus in a greater way when this card is present and this card can give you the ability to handle financial matters with a clear mind.
Soul
True.
Just now when I checked my today Osho tarot card, I got Postponement.
Yes, finally told P on my new plan to be on my own samadhi path.
Feels better after sharing.
Was updating my Nov 5 blog and saw this:
Moon in Taurus by Gargatholil
It may occur, however, whether through disillusionment or a sudden shift in point of view, that you retreat from active social involvement in order to undertake your own personal quest. You may realize that changing the system does not necessarily equate to its improvement and that true change depends upon raising consciousness. You then see that consciousness raising must begin with yourself. You, therefore, embark on a personal journey toward actualizing your high ideals.
Soul
Exactly what I am about to do.
Just want to retreat and be on my own samadhi path.
Still updating my blog and got this from the facebook
In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important.
Soul
I have no goal. I don't know where I be leading. But I know my path and that is samadhi.
Told P about my samadhi path. I m now aware of why I m resentful of being a Sathsang guide. Also of the fact that not only I got to be the guide, I have to be the coordinator too as V is only the technical side. I also lost the ability to be on samadhi, falling during every sathsang.
I also shared I m truly not keen on volunteering. I m not keen to be a guide. I just want to focus on my path. I had difficulty in knowing my feelings. But now I m cleared.
I told her I cried with Vijii. I can relate why Vijji took the energy and went into samadhi just before the consecration of Dhynalinga. I m sure others would have tot she was selfish. Just like when I ran off just before Sadhguru's visit, others tot me selfish too. But I just couldn't stay. I had to go.
She too shared with me that she was resentful of me when I quit leading local Isha just before Sadhguru's visit.
I told her that I just want to focus on my samadhi path. To fall into Sadhguru's grace. My sadhana hall is complete. I m finally comfortable with myself. Finally realised I was feeling unease. My path is cleared now. I will take a back stand on being core team. I will be here but no longer active as before. Will be here as needed. She too shared she needs a break, she want to focus on her sadhana too. We both don't want to helm local Isha.
Now working with Linga, on my feminine divinity.
Me just want to be on total path of Isha on my samadhi path.
Soul
Mmm, no wonder Four of Diamonds today.
The Four of Diamonds
The Four of Diamonds means a solid sense of values that attracts enough money to meet our security needs and then some. When we know exactly what it is we want, we tend to attract those things to us more quickly. Thus, when this card shows up, it usually means that we have gotten clear about what we want and then we get it. Satisfaction and prosperity are indicated here and you may have a good foundation upon which you can begin building a financial future. Managing your resources could come into focus in a greater way when this card is present and this card can give you the ability to handle financial matters with a clear mind.
Soul
True.
Just now when I checked my today Osho tarot card, I got Postponement.
Yes, finally told P on my new plan to be on my own samadhi path.
Feels better after sharing.
Was updating my Nov 5 blog and saw this:
Moon in Taurus by Gargatholil
It may occur, however, whether through disillusionment or a sudden shift in point of view, that you retreat from active social involvement in order to undertake your own personal quest. You may realize that changing the system does not necessarily equate to its improvement and that true change depends upon raising consciousness. You then see that consciousness raising must begin with yourself. You, therefore, embark on a personal journey toward actualizing your high ideals.
Soul
Exactly what I am about to do.
Just want to retreat and be on my own samadhi path.
Still updating my blog and got this from the facebook
In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important.
Soul
I have no goal. I don't know where I be leading. But I know my path and that is samadhi.
Sadhguru - when your mind is active, past exists
Nov 17 eve
Tot of my trip to ashram. At first tot that its for me to get close to Dhynalinga. But somehow it was a session of getting closer to Linga. I was not really drawn to her and infact avoided it but whenever I went to her place she won't let me go. I just stayed there.
The thing on the copper pot is truly funny. And now I be even closer to Linga cos I be drinking water from a copper pot graced by her.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
The past is carried only in ur mind. Only because ur mind is active that past exists. The reality is only present but past exists through our minds. Or in other words, mind is karma. If u transcend the mind, u transcend the karmic bondage altogether in one stroke.
The fundamental thing is to learn how not to create new stick. Then, leaving the old stock is very simple.
The past does not exist but you are dealing with the non existent, going about as if it is a reality. Mind is the basis of this.
The whole effort of spiritual science is how to transcend the mind, how to look beyond the limitations of the mind.
Soul
The mind identification with Z is my main focus to ensure I transcend the mind. So if coffee is the first step, I m willing to pay.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
All the influences of the world are entering u only through the instrument of the mind. If u can rise beyond the influence of ur mind in full awareness, then u are naturally one with everything.
Only when you create a little distance between u and the mind, between u and the body, u perceive the nature of the body and the mind. Otherwise it is all mixed up.
It is because people can't bear the torture of the mind that they have devised many ways in society to go below the mind.
Excessive eating, alcohol, excessive indulgence in physical pleasures, these are ways to go below the mind. People use them and for a few moments they can forget the torture.
Tot of my trip to ashram. At first tot that its for me to get close to Dhynalinga. But somehow it was a session of getting closer to Linga. I was not really drawn to her and infact avoided it but whenever I went to her place she won't let me go. I just stayed there.
The thing on the copper pot is truly funny. And now I be even closer to Linga cos I be drinking water from a copper pot graced by her.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
The past is carried only in ur mind. Only because ur mind is active that past exists. The reality is only present but past exists through our minds. Or in other words, mind is karma. If u transcend the mind, u transcend the karmic bondage altogether in one stroke.
The fundamental thing is to learn how not to create new stick. Then, leaving the old stock is very simple.
The past does not exist but you are dealing with the non existent, going about as if it is a reality. Mind is the basis of this.
The whole effort of spiritual science is how to transcend the mind, how to look beyond the limitations of the mind.
Soul
The mind identification with Z is my main focus to ensure I transcend the mind. So if coffee is the first step, I m willing to pay.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
All the influences of the world are entering u only through the instrument of the mind. If u can rise beyond the influence of ur mind in full awareness, then u are naturally one with everything.
Only when you create a little distance between u and the mind, between u and the body, u perceive the nature of the body and the mind. Otherwise it is all mixed up.
It is because people can't bear the torture of the mind that they have devised many ways in society to go below the mind.
Excessive eating, alcohol, excessive indulgence in physical pleasures, these are ways to go below the mind. People use them and for a few moments they can forget the torture.
Sadhguru - logic is only to slice things open but not for seeing
Nov 17 aft 2
Flight delayed by one hour. Just went for a change of clothing, feels fresh.
Did Shoonya, feels good, almost knock out.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
If u are not exposed to the great logical traces on this planet, u are fortunate, but it want u to know that nowhere else in the world have people used their logic with such devastating impact as Indian culture has. This land has seen logic at its ultimate. If u go into the Vedantic philosophy, logic will rise to such a state that it will freak u out completely.
Really using it like a rocket; it takes u to a place where it makes u dizzy and intoxicated. Then u realise it is not getting anywhere, it is just causing dizziness in ur head due to excessive use of logic. Then u understand that this can be used only to slice things open. It is not an instrument of seeing.
Soul
No wonder. I just couldn't get into it. The lady speaks articulately but her dad was so terrible. All the intellect in the end does nothing. He is losing it. Bought the book out of curiosity and courtesy to P but after one year, I still can't open the book.
Besides now that I know I m on samadhi path, I understand why I was not interested.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
Life is a circus when ur intellect and ur body alone are involved.
Life is a dance, when ur intelligence begins to play a role.
Soul
Not having coffee is by my intelligence.
Feeling bit hungry as I only had a small cup noodle this afternoon. I did have half a veg burger this morning.
Want to have another bowl of hot noodles but I have ordered a nice fragrant rice on board. So best to wait cos its another hour to go.
Tot of the interesting Lay's potato chip of lime and chili. But I don't want to take chance on chili. Actually I ordered fragrant rice with chili but I know I will just take bit. Focus more on rice, egg and anchovy.
Flight delayed by one hour. Just went for a change of clothing, feels fresh.
Did Shoonya, feels good, almost knock out.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
If u are not exposed to the great logical traces on this planet, u are fortunate, but it want u to know that nowhere else in the world have people used their logic with such devastating impact as Indian culture has. This land has seen logic at its ultimate. If u go into the Vedantic philosophy, logic will rise to such a state that it will freak u out completely.
Really using it like a rocket; it takes u to a place where it makes u dizzy and intoxicated. Then u realise it is not getting anywhere, it is just causing dizziness in ur head due to excessive use of logic. Then u understand that this can be used only to slice things open. It is not an instrument of seeing.
Soul
No wonder. I just couldn't get into it. The lady speaks articulately but her dad was so terrible. All the intellect in the end does nothing. He is losing it. Bought the book out of curiosity and courtesy to P but after one year, I still can't open the book.
Besides now that I know I m on samadhi path, I understand why I was not interested.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
Life is a circus when ur intellect and ur body alone are involved.
Life is a dance, when ur intelligence begins to play a role.
Soul
Not having coffee is by my intelligence.
Feeling bit hungry as I only had a small cup noodle this afternoon. I did have half a veg burger this morning.
Want to have another bowl of hot noodles but I have ordered a nice fragrant rice on board. So best to wait cos its another hour to go.
Tot of the interesting Lay's potato chip of lime and chili. But I don't want to take chance on chili. Actually I ordered fragrant rice with chili but I know I will just take bit. Focus more on rice, egg and anchovy.
Osho and Sahdguru - every death opens a new door (death of coffee and milk)
Nov 17 aft 1
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
The mind knows if u keep ur body still, the mind also naturally become still. That's why asanas is stressed in yoga.
Soul
Yes when I sit in arashidharna. But then when I m 'flying', mind also become still. No wonder both awareness and samadhi path gives the same results.
Now at 2.45 pm and still can't check in but at least the airport is new. I just ate a cup noodle and still don't want to drink coffee or rather didn't think of wanting coffee. The old me would have drank it just like that. It's not that I m stopping myself from having. It's just I don't want to have. I don't want such stimulant in my system.
Feeling bit sad that I lost coffee. Coffee used to be my comfort drink. Now I know it actually doesn't give me comfort, I lost the inclination for it.
Suddenly tot of my Osho tarot card. Death is new beginning.
Mmm, I already know the importance of water and now have a copper pot and Isha's water enhancer.
Direction of growth in ur inner awareness
The Chinese mystic's last surprise
Existence is continuous, it is continuum. There is no single moment's gap in it. No death is death, because every death opens a new door - it is a beginning. There is no end to life, there is always new beginning, a resurrection.
If u change ur sadness to celebration, then u will also be capable of changing ur death into resurrection. So, learn the art while there is still time.
It was not death, it was a new life.
Soul
Death of coffee is totally unexpected.
Now checked in, 4 pm and saw the stall. Lost the inclination to find a restaurant. I can't even take hot chocolate cos I will purge. Don't want to take the chance in flight. Back home I do take hot choc and purged safely two hours later. But now seeing that milk actually do dull my body, that slight inclination also lost too. That leave very little drinks option. Feel as if I m still on Samyama diet. But now worse cos its is coming from my self experience and not from external imposition.
Now reading Mind is your business by Sadhguru and something clicked here.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
If ur wife or husband left u. If u think logically, "My whole life was to love this person and be with this person and now this person is gone. Where is the reason for me to live? If u go logically, u will commit suicide.
But if ur husband or wife is gone, maybe it is a whole new possibility in ur life. Maybe things u could never imagine will happen to u simply because u are free from one aspect of life. We do not know but it is possible.
If you think hundred percent logically, there is really no possibility of life.
Soul
I got it finally after the loss of Z. But now the loss of coffee. I just can't imagine my life without coffee.
A returned my message on coffee and said he just drank his first cup after three weeks. He said loss of coffee, a small price to pay for opening the door of perception.
Me, not drinking cos I know not good for body and I don't like the stimulant effect.
Not sure what I be without coffee.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
Only if you know to what extent ur logic should go and where it should not go, ur life will be beautiful. If u become absolutely logical, there is no beauty to ur life. Everything becomes bare and no good.
Soul
A tot came, yea, perhaps mind can be quiet and I can finally practice Hourly breathing and bring Samyama to my life. My dream is to bring meditation to life. To bring the contentment and joy to life.
So instead of sad about losing my identity on coffee. Why not rejoice that I could finally bring Samyama to life and Kapalvriksha to life too.
After four years of Shakti Chalana Kriya, I finally found the joyful release, that's a miracle.
Being aware must be without stimulants. Like A said, small price to pay.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
The mind knows if u keep ur body still, the mind also naturally become still. That's why asanas is stressed in yoga.
Soul
Yes when I sit in arashidharna. But then when I m 'flying', mind also become still. No wonder both awareness and samadhi path gives the same results.
Now at 2.45 pm and still can't check in but at least the airport is new. I just ate a cup noodle and still don't want to drink coffee or rather didn't think of wanting coffee. The old me would have drank it just like that. It's not that I m stopping myself from having. It's just I don't want to have. I don't want such stimulant in my system.
Feeling bit sad that I lost coffee. Coffee used to be my comfort drink. Now I know it actually doesn't give me comfort, I lost the inclination for it.
Suddenly tot of my Osho tarot card. Death is new beginning.
Mmm, I already know the importance of water and now have a copper pot and Isha's water enhancer.
Direction of growth in ur inner awareness
The Chinese mystic's last surprise
Existence is continuous, it is continuum. There is no single moment's gap in it. No death is death, because every death opens a new door - it is a beginning. There is no end to life, there is always new beginning, a resurrection.
If u change ur sadness to celebration, then u will also be capable of changing ur death into resurrection. So, learn the art while there is still time.
It was not death, it was a new life.
Soul
Death of coffee is totally unexpected.
Now checked in, 4 pm and saw the stall. Lost the inclination to find a restaurant. I can't even take hot chocolate cos I will purge. Don't want to take the chance in flight. Back home I do take hot choc and purged safely two hours later. But now seeing that milk actually do dull my body, that slight inclination also lost too. That leave very little drinks option. Feel as if I m still on Samyama diet. But now worse cos its is coming from my self experience and not from external imposition.
Now reading Mind is your business by Sadhguru and something clicked here.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
If ur wife or husband left u. If u think logically, "My whole life was to love this person and be with this person and now this person is gone. Where is the reason for me to live? If u go logically, u will commit suicide.
But if ur husband or wife is gone, maybe it is a whole new possibility in ur life. Maybe things u could never imagine will happen to u simply because u are free from one aspect of life. We do not know but it is possible.
If you think hundred percent logically, there is really no possibility of life.
Soul
I got it finally after the loss of Z. But now the loss of coffee. I just can't imagine my life without coffee.
A returned my message on coffee and said he just drank his first cup after three weeks. He said loss of coffee, a small price to pay for opening the door of perception.
Me, not drinking cos I know not good for body and I don't like the stimulant effect.
Not sure what I be without coffee.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
Only if you know to what extent ur logic should go and where it should not go, ur life will be beautiful. If u become absolutely logical, there is no beauty to ur life. Everything becomes bare and no good.
Soul
A tot came, yea, perhaps mind can be quiet and I can finally practice Hourly breathing and bring Samyama to my life. My dream is to bring meditation to life. To bring the contentment and joy to life.
So instead of sad about losing my identity on coffee. Why not rejoice that I could finally bring Samyama to life and Kapalvriksha to life too.
After four years of Shakti Chalana Kriya, I finally found the joyful release, that's a miracle.
Being aware must be without stimulants. Like A said, small price to pay.
Sadhguru - mind and brain are different; mind exists only in its activity
Nov 17 aft
Now landed in Chennai domestic airport. My food rendezvous with M is cancelled as his place is flooded. Miss the food. Was looking forward to chettinad Briyani rice. Staying for awhile in domestic nicely renovated. The international airport is horrendous and check in counter won't be open. So got to stay here, at least the place is clean.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
Mind and the brain are different things. The mind need not only the brain but many things to be active.
The brain is a physical object but mind is not a physical object. Your mind exists only in its activity. If u take off the activity, it does not exist. U don't know where it is because it exists only in its activity.
Every cell in ur body has its own mind. Ur genes carry memory and act out that memory.
If u turn off the mind, it is just off - it ceases to exist. If u turn it on, it is again. It is like a cinema. When a cinema is on, it is more real than real. A big drama is going on which is so real.
In ur experience of life, what is going on in ur mind is more important to u than what is going on outside of you. What ur tots and emotions says, is far more important than what the world is saying.
But if u turn it off, it suddenly ceases to exist. Then u see the ridiculous nature of ur mind. It creates such a drama, but it is so fragile. It is like a cinema - u turn it off, it is finished.
Soul
So true. Just now seeing a happy wealthy family and here I m traveling alone. Moments of wishful came but I hold myself back by watching breathe. I remember my contentment.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
If the mind becomes a conscious cinema, there is no problem. U can enjoy the movie only if you can turn it on and off when u want to. Then it is a wonderful movie.
Soul
Suddenly tot of similarity with my control issue. Real power is when I m able to switch off and off my control. It already been done.
Now the mind and it is thru the breathe watching mode. No wonder Sadhguru prescribes hourly breathe watching.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
If you know u are stupid, then u will not attach too much importance to ur tot and u will start looking at life. If u are looking at life more, ur intelligence will definitely flower. Then, tot is not a process, tot is not a problem, because bot much tot will be there.
If u don't pay any attention to ur tot, it will just die. If you become like this, once in a way when you consciously think, it will become crystal clear.
Soul
The importance of Shoonya
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
Whatever the content of ur mind, it is just throwing itself out. Don't pay any attention to it unless u consciously bring it forth. If u consciously generate a tot, that is different. Then u will naturally create the kind of tot u want. Otherwise, these tots are just random happening. That should stop.
Soul
Yeap, tots of envy over others over Z is random happenings. In truth I don't want their life style. I just want mine.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
The moment u identify urself with something u are not, u are finished - ur mind is in a continuous run.
Soul
Sadhguru said this during Samyama.
I m still having random tots on Z and needing a partner to feel security. I truly don't want to pay the price of such life style. I have chosen mine.
So what the identification. I used to think that having a partner stop my identity of being unlovable. But now I know I m and being lovable by others had nothing to do with me. Being lovable to myself is my focus.
Anyway, natal chart did say my dream is to have a true partner. For now focus on my inner partner.
Now landed in Chennai domestic airport. My food rendezvous with M is cancelled as his place is flooded. Miss the food. Was looking forward to chettinad Briyani rice. Staying for awhile in domestic nicely renovated. The international airport is horrendous and check in counter won't be open. So got to stay here, at least the place is clean.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
Mind and the brain are different things. The mind need not only the brain but many things to be active.
The brain is a physical object but mind is not a physical object. Your mind exists only in its activity. If u take off the activity, it does not exist. U don't know where it is because it exists only in its activity.
Every cell in ur body has its own mind. Ur genes carry memory and act out that memory.
If u turn off the mind, it is just off - it ceases to exist. If u turn it on, it is again. It is like a cinema. When a cinema is on, it is more real than real. A big drama is going on which is so real.
In ur experience of life, what is going on in ur mind is more important to u than what is going on outside of you. What ur tots and emotions says, is far more important than what the world is saying.
But if u turn it off, it suddenly ceases to exist. Then u see the ridiculous nature of ur mind. It creates such a drama, but it is so fragile. It is like a cinema - u turn it off, it is finished.
Soul
So true. Just now seeing a happy wealthy family and here I m traveling alone. Moments of wishful came but I hold myself back by watching breathe. I remember my contentment.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
If the mind becomes a conscious cinema, there is no problem. U can enjoy the movie only if you can turn it on and off when u want to. Then it is a wonderful movie.
Soul
Suddenly tot of similarity with my control issue. Real power is when I m able to switch off and off my control. It already been done.
Now the mind and it is thru the breathe watching mode. No wonder Sadhguru prescribes hourly breathe watching.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
If you know u are stupid, then u will not attach too much importance to ur tot and u will start looking at life. If u are looking at life more, ur intelligence will definitely flower. Then, tot is not a process, tot is not a problem, because bot much tot will be there.
If u don't pay any attention to ur tot, it will just die. If you become like this, once in a way when you consciously think, it will become crystal clear.
Soul
The importance of Shoonya
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
Whatever the content of ur mind, it is just throwing itself out. Don't pay any attention to it unless u consciously bring it forth. If u consciously generate a tot, that is different. Then u will naturally create the kind of tot u want. Otherwise, these tots are just random happening. That should stop.
Soul
Yeap, tots of envy over others over Z is random happenings. In truth I don't want their life style. I just want mine.
Mind is your business by Sadhguru
The moment u identify urself with something u are not, u are finished - ur mind is in a continuous run.
Soul
Sadhguru said this during Samyama.
I m still having random tots on Z and needing a partner to feel security. I truly don't want to pay the price of such life style. I have chosen mine.
So what the identification. I used to think that having a partner stop my identity of being unlovable. But now I know I m and being lovable by others had nothing to do with me. Being lovable to myself is my focus.
Anyway, natal chart did say my dream is to have a true partner. For now focus on my inner partner.
Contentment from meditation
Nov 17
Woke up 5 am upon alarm but feel so great to sleep in cos couldn't sleep well with the helicopter fan. Doze bit till 5.20 am and woke up for shower.
Did guru pooja and breathe watching till 6.20 am. Packed remaining luggage. Want to go over to Linga. Walked out and found that it was still drizzling. No wonder it was so nice to sleep in.
Came back in to cottage but lights were out. So open the door and did my Shambavi and followed by breathe watching. Whole session was about 45 minutes. So nice to have the feeling of contentment and peace.
Reach airport looking for breakfast. Went for veg burger as there are no fish burger. Don't want coffee as want to maintain my own inner high. Had to go for hot chocolate, so just took half as I m lactose intolerant. The milk truly give a dull feeling whereas the coffee gives an unpleasant high feeling.
Woke up 5 am upon alarm but feel so great to sleep in cos couldn't sleep well with the helicopter fan. Doze bit till 5.20 am and woke up for shower.
Did guru pooja and breathe watching till 6.20 am. Packed remaining luggage. Want to go over to Linga. Walked out and found that it was still drizzling. No wonder it was so nice to sleep in.
Came back in to cottage but lights were out. So open the door and did my Shambavi and followed by breathe watching. Whole session was about 45 minutes. So nice to have the feeling of contentment and peace.
Reach airport looking for breakfast. Went for veg burger as there are no fish burger. Don't want coffee as want to maintain my own inner high. Had to go for hot chocolate, so just took half as I m lactose intolerant. The milk truly give a dull feeling whereas the coffee gives an unpleasant high feeling.
Snake in Suryakund is alive
Nov 16 eve
Went for a walk. The flowers were astounding. Their beauty silence me.
Went to Suryakund and greet the snake. It is alive as I can feel its energy. Sat there for twenty minutes just being with it.
Followed by a lovely deep Shoonya, real blessing from Sadhguru.
I have not been doing my hourly one minute practices. Now doing and it feels good.
Had the evening darshan, energy is great. At first tot of going to night Dhynalinga but decided not to as body not so great and feet started to swell. Might as well take early night and wake up do sadhana tomorrow. Just chill out in my room.
Saw my comb, the one that he likes so much, suddenly broke yesterday. Time to throw it out. Look at my pyjamas of many years, time to throw too as I got three new ones ready to be used. I already throw my old night gown with him. Yeap, time to throw out all old things.
Just now during Shoonya had some tots of Z. But I let it be. Past memories.
Body - the greatest gadget by Sadhguru
Creation is like that - hugely magnified. Those who looked at it closely, realised this and said, "There is no need to look at the magnified version. Look at this piece of life that u called myself - that's all." The rest of the cosmos is just a magnified projection of a little thing that is happening - just five elements.
Went for a walk. The flowers were astounding. Their beauty silence me.
Went to Suryakund and greet the snake. It is alive as I can feel its energy. Sat there for twenty minutes just being with it.
Followed by a lovely deep Shoonya, real blessing from Sadhguru.
I have not been doing my hourly one minute practices. Now doing and it feels good.
Had the evening darshan, energy is great. At first tot of going to night Dhynalinga but decided not to as body not so great and feet started to swell. Might as well take early night and wake up do sadhana tomorrow. Just chill out in my room.
Saw my comb, the one that he likes so much, suddenly broke yesterday. Time to throw it out. Look at my pyjamas of many years, time to throw too as I got three new ones ready to be used. I already throw my old night gown with him. Yeap, time to throw out all old things.
Just now during Shoonya had some tots of Z. But I let it be. Past memories.
Body - the greatest gadget by Sadhguru
Creation is like that - hugely magnified. Those who looked at it closely, realised this and said, "There is no need to look at the magnified version. Look at this piece of life that u called myself - that's all." The rest of the cosmos is just a magnified projection of a little thing that is happening - just five elements.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Osho transformation - emptiness cannot be filled by others
Nov 16 aft
Menses just came, early by two days. Body system has stabilised. No wonder I was feeling out yesterday night.
Osho transformation cards drawn just before Samyama
Direction of growth in ur inner awareness
The Chinese mystic's last surprise
Existence is continuous, it is continuum. There is no single moment's gap in it. No death is death, because every death opens a new door - it is a beginning. There is no end to life, there is always new beginning, a resurrection.
If u change ur sadness to celebration, then u will also be capable of changing ur death into resurrection. So, learn the art while there is still time.
It was not death, it was a new life.
Soul
This morning when I did my last cry to Vijii on ending of love for Z. Yea, it is not death but a new life.
Now looking on for new beginning. My body has reduced its weight back to my size three years ago. Mmm, just as I lost the weight that is not me, same as I lost Z.
Key to integration - understanding that is most important for u to work on
A parable of ambition and hurry
Man is full if he is in tune with the universe; if he is not in tune with the universe, then he is empty, utterly empty. And out of that emptiness comes greed. Greed simply means u are feeling a deep emptiness and you want to fill it with anything possible.
Greed is to fill it - with food, with money, with houses, with furniture, with friends, with lovers, with anything - because one cannot live as emptiness. It is horrifying, it is a ghost life. If u are empty and there is nothing inside u, it is impossible to live.
To have the feeling that u have much inside u, there are only two ways: either u get in tune with the universe .... then u are filled with the whole, with all the flowers and with all the stars. They are within u just as they are without u. That is real fulfillment. But if you don't do that --- and millions of people are not doing that -- then the easiest way is to fill it with any junk.
So there are many ways to fill emptiness, although it is never full -- it remains empty and u remain miserable because it is never enough. More is needed and the more and the demand for more is unending.
So be existential. Let go, and move closer to existence in silence and peace, in meditation. And one day u will see u are so full - overfull, overflowing -- of joy, of blissfulness, of benediction. U have so much of it that u can give it to the whole world and yet it will not be exhausted.
That day, for the first time u will not feel any greed - for money, for food, for things, for anything.
U will live naturally and whatever is needed u will find it.
Soul
Met J and I know I was not attracted to him and I didn't encourage him. The old me would have activated whole sort of mental drama, convincing myself that I m attracted. The new me now said if the mutual attraction is not there, need not pursue. So no tots on this.
Amen.
Well, this week a start of not needing coffee for comfort. Today a start of not needing food for comfort.
Menses just came, early by two days. Body system has stabilised. No wonder I was feeling out yesterday night.
Osho transformation cards drawn just before Samyama
Direction of growth in ur inner awareness
The Chinese mystic's last surprise
Existence is continuous, it is continuum. There is no single moment's gap in it. No death is death, because every death opens a new door - it is a beginning. There is no end to life, there is always new beginning, a resurrection.
If u change ur sadness to celebration, then u will also be capable of changing ur death into resurrection. So, learn the art while there is still time.
It was not death, it was a new life.
Soul
This morning when I did my last cry to Vijii on ending of love for Z. Yea, it is not death but a new life.
Now looking on for new beginning. My body has reduced its weight back to my size three years ago. Mmm, just as I lost the weight that is not me, same as I lost Z.
Key to integration - understanding that is most important for u to work on
A parable of ambition and hurry
Man is full if he is in tune with the universe; if he is not in tune with the universe, then he is empty, utterly empty. And out of that emptiness comes greed. Greed simply means u are feeling a deep emptiness and you want to fill it with anything possible.
Greed is to fill it - with food, with money, with houses, with furniture, with friends, with lovers, with anything - because one cannot live as emptiness. It is horrifying, it is a ghost life. If u are empty and there is nothing inside u, it is impossible to live.
To have the feeling that u have much inside u, there are only two ways: either u get in tune with the universe .... then u are filled with the whole, with all the flowers and with all the stars. They are within u just as they are without u. That is real fulfillment. But if you don't do that --- and millions of people are not doing that -- then the easiest way is to fill it with any junk.
So there are many ways to fill emptiness, although it is never full -- it remains empty and u remain miserable because it is never enough. More is needed and the more and the demand for more is unending.
So be existential. Let go, and move closer to existence in silence and peace, in meditation. And one day u will see u are so full - overfull, overflowing -- of joy, of blissfulness, of benediction. U have so much of it that u can give it to the whole world and yet it will not be exhausted.
That day, for the first time u will not feel any greed - for money, for food, for things, for anything.
U will live naturally and whatever is needed u will find it.
Soul
Met J and I know I was not attracted to him and I didn't encourage him. The old me would have activated whole sort of mental drama, convincing myself that I m attracted. The new me now said if the mutual attraction is not there, need not pursue. So no tots on this.
Amen.
Well, this week a start of not needing coffee for comfort. Today a start of not needing food for comfort.
Witnessing during meditation
Nov 16
Woke up at alarm but feeling tired. Yesterday didn't do the Samyama, a big difference.
Finally rested and woke up 5.16 am and finished practices at 8.07 am.
Surya kriya was not okay but felt effortless.
Was flying on Shakti again. Did all the postures with awareness that makes Shakti work.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end something amazing happen. I can see myself meditating. Somehow I feel separate from my body. I can see the nice feeling but somehow I m not in it. This continue for a long time.
Went to say goodbye to Vijii. When I reach Vijji place, suddenly I was crying. I told Vijii that I did love Z but he is gone. Then a comfort feeling came and I said new beginning and began to feel much better. Was planning to have a long stay but the volunteers need to clean her place so I just stayed for about ten minutes.
Didn't plan to go for Linga but since Vijii was not available I went there for a quick stop. I did my lying down posture, laughter came. I sat down and chant the Jai Bhairavi for one cycle. Then I fell into meditation mode. I went in deep. I was there for around one and half hour.
Took a quick dip in Teethakoon. It was really cold so I stayed only ten minutes.
Went to Dhynalinga and tot to do a quick session but I stayed for 4 session so one hour.
Now out here enjoying breakfast at 11 am.
This is the first time in Ashram that food was not the priority.
Woke up at alarm but feeling tired. Yesterday didn't do the Samyama, a big difference.
Finally rested and woke up 5.16 am and finished practices at 8.07 am.
Surya kriya was not okay but felt effortless.
Was flying on Shakti again. Did all the postures with awareness that makes Shakti work.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end something amazing happen. I can see myself meditating. Somehow I feel separate from my body. I can see the nice feeling but somehow I m not in it. This continue for a long time.
Went to say goodbye to Vijii. When I reach Vijji place, suddenly I was crying. I told Vijii that I did love Z but he is gone. Then a comfort feeling came and I said new beginning and began to feel much better. Was planning to have a long stay but the volunteers need to clean her place so I just stayed for about ten minutes.
Didn't plan to go for Linga but since Vijii was not available I went there for a quick stop. I did my lying down posture, laughter came. I sat down and chant the Jai Bhairavi for one cycle. Then I fell into meditation mode. I went in deep. I was there for around one and half hour.
Took a quick dip in Teethakoon. It was really cold so I stayed only ten minutes.
Went to Dhynalinga and tot to do a quick session but I stayed for 4 session so one hour.
Now out here enjoying breakfast at 11 am.
This is the first time in Ashram that food was not the priority.
Kapalvriksha working
Nov 15 eve
Father, purged again late afternoon. Perhaps its from the cleansing as I only ate one yadai.
Looking forward to the head and shoulder massage tomorrow.
Took a dip in Teethakoon and adjourned to Darshan. Did my Shoonya but since meeting the local meditators, tots of Z's wife flows in and along with Z. Shoonya not that great.
The Darshan was lovely. Just sitting in front of Sadhguru pic. The English video was on the aura cleansing. Sadhguru asserted that we need to keep body and mind clean before we can aspire to higher possibilities. With that, a tot come on no coffee stimulant. Even when I wish for my husband drinking Suku cappi instead of coffee with me. And I m going to buy the water enhancer vibudhi especially since I got the copper pot.
Actually I have been wanting to buy copper pot, or it should be rightly called as copper jug but somehow I used pot. The copper jug was out of stock but somehow I now got a real copper pot. Truly unexpected. Look like Kapalvriksha is happening.
The yantra was on wish list and now the copper pot.
Father, purged again late afternoon. Perhaps its from the cleansing as I only ate one yadai.
Looking forward to the head and shoulder massage tomorrow.
Took a dip in Teethakoon and adjourned to Darshan. Did my Shoonya but since meeting the local meditators, tots of Z's wife flows in and along with Z. Shoonya not that great.
The Darshan was lovely. Just sitting in front of Sadhguru pic. The English video was on the aura cleansing. Sadhguru asserted that we need to keep body and mind clean before we can aspire to higher possibilities. With that, a tot come on no coffee stimulant. Even when I wish for my husband drinking Suku cappi instead of coffee with me. And I m going to buy the water enhancer vibudhi especially since I got the copper pot.
Actually I have been wanting to buy copper pot, or it should be rightly called as copper jug but somehow I used pot. The copper jug was out of stock but somehow I now got a real copper pot. Truly unexpected. Look like Kapalvriksha is happening.
The yantra was on wish list and now the copper pot.
Connecting with Linga Bhairavi
Nov 15
Foot recovered. Woke up around 2.40 am. Try to sleep but couldn't so finally got up at 3.40 am, shower. Start my practices at 4 am and finished at 7 am. Did a longer breathe watching. Asanas were quite good considering that I have not been doing for past one week. Shakti was great. Did breathe watching at the 4252 breathing and Kapala Bhakti. On the 4252 can now feel the max contraction of each mudra. Towards the end exploded into laughter. Shambavi was good, Suka kriya with breathe watching has a different feel, laughing at aum chanting. Just silent contentment at the end, sitting in arashidharna posture.
Went to Linga, was crying and laughing. Suddenly said I wish to have my partner and hope she helped me. At that tot no need to do the wishing ritual.
Then head bowed down on floor, sat there about forty minutes.
Then I went into the office and saw that there is available spot for wishing ritual. And I knew that's the call from Linga and so I paid for it.
Both cleansing and wishing ritual was delayed by one hour and fifteen minutes.
With the cleansing session I felt a lightheartedness, feel anew.
When the wishing process start a I cried, feeling ashamed that I m asking. I asked Linga for help. I wished for my husband to be with me for next year Kailash trip. Simple
By the time it finished it was closing session for Linga. That its a sign from Linga that she wanted me to stay on. So today was dedicated to her. Later would be Dhynalinga.
I m glad I broke thru the barrier on wishing.
Foot recovered. Woke up around 2.40 am. Try to sleep but couldn't so finally got up at 3.40 am, shower. Start my practices at 4 am and finished at 7 am. Did a longer breathe watching. Asanas were quite good considering that I have not been doing for past one week. Shakti was great. Did breathe watching at the 4252 breathing and Kapala Bhakti. On the 4252 can now feel the max contraction of each mudra. Towards the end exploded into laughter. Shambavi was good, Suka kriya with breathe watching has a different feel, laughing at aum chanting. Just silent contentment at the end, sitting in arashidharna posture.
Went to Linga, was crying and laughing. Suddenly said I wish to have my partner and hope she helped me. At that tot no need to do the wishing ritual.
Then head bowed down on floor, sat there about forty minutes.
Then I went into the office and saw that there is available spot for wishing ritual. And I knew that's the call from Linga and so I paid for it.
Both cleansing and wishing ritual was delayed by one hour and fifteen minutes.
With the cleansing session I felt a lightheartedness, feel anew.
When the wishing process start a I cried, feeling ashamed that I m asking. I asked Linga for help. I wished for my husband to be with me for next year Kailash trip. Simple
By the time it finished it was closing session for Linga. That its a sign from Linga that she wanted me to stay on. So today was dedicated to her. Later would be Dhynalinga.
I m glad I broke thru the barrier on wishing.
Osho transformation card - laughter is eternal
Nov 14 eve
Lost interest in coffee since I know it gives me an unpleasant high. I prefer my inner high. Father, I said I be enlightened the day I lose my love for coffee. Looks like I m losing coffee but nowhere enlighten. But at least I m now going to do the Wish at Linga, which is a major breakthrough.
Tonight feel like going to Dhynalinga for a sitting. But feet is swelling due to sprain. So let it recover.
Nov 14 eve 1
Got this Osho transformation card before l arrive in Ashram. Now only had time to read it.
1. Outer influence that u might also not be fully aware of
When Shibli threw the rose
He wept at my fear, my cowardice. He wept because I was compromising with the crowd.
Soul
Not sure. First tot was the fact that I realised I truly had bad expression in personal and romantic relationship. All negative feelings kept inside, ignoring my inner child.
That's why I broke down during last Sathsang. My child wants to stop but the adult in me continue.
From now onwards I acknowledged the needy child in me. It has become needy because I ignored it for so many years.
I won't forget again.
2. External influence
The samurai pride
Heaven and hell are psychological. They are here and now.
When u act consciously with full awareness, u are in heaven.
Soul
Many times I ignored or suppressed the child out of pride. How can I tell others that I don't feel supported being a guide. How can I tell others I truly don't like to be a guide when I m good at it. How can I let go of leadership in Isha when I have the most free time and skill sets.
How can I block of L and S.
But in the end I did block of S. And also soon L too.
How can I ask for what I want.
Today you sent the message of a younger version of me. So alas I m making the wish for a partner from Linga.
Also I m not going to be the main guide.
3. The seeds of transformation.
Alexander the Great meet Diogenes
Postponement is a trick of the mind; it keeps you hoping , and meanwhile the opportunity is slipping by. And in the end u will come to cul-de-sac and there will be no opportunity left.
If you don't rest now, then u never will. Something or other will always remain to be conquered ... and time remains fleeting. U will die in the middle of ur journey.
Soul
Suddenly recalled what Sadhguru said about being mindless. Being mindless is not useful in the world. It won't make you more successful in the world.
But being mindless is a step to transcendence.
So I now can safely accept my mindless without feeling guilty that I m not evolving yet to be able to overcome disturbance of mind. To take so long to get over Z, to still need a new partner at my age.
For now just savour my practices, my bliss.
4. Direction of growth in ur inner awareness
The Chinese mystic's last surprise.
Laugher is eternal.
Lost interest in coffee since I know it gives me an unpleasant high. I prefer my inner high. Father, I said I be enlightened the day I lose my love for coffee. Looks like I m losing coffee but nowhere enlighten. But at least I m now going to do the Wish at Linga, which is a major breakthrough.
Tonight feel like going to Dhynalinga for a sitting. But feet is swelling due to sprain. So let it recover.
Nov 14 eve 1
Got this Osho transformation card before l arrive in Ashram. Now only had time to read it.
1. Outer influence that u might also not be fully aware of
When Shibli threw the rose
He wept at my fear, my cowardice. He wept because I was compromising with the crowd.
Soul
Not sure. First tot was the fact that I realised I truly had bad expression in personal and romantic relationship. All negative feelings kept inside, ignoring my inner child.
That's why I broke down during last Sathsang. My child wants to stop but the adult in me continue.
From now onwards I acknowledged the needy child in me. It has become needy because I ignored it for so many years.
I won't forget again.
2. External influence
The samurai pride
Heaven and hell are psychological. They are here and now.
When u act consciously with full awareness, u are in heaven.
Soul
Many times I ignored or suppressed the child out of pride. How can I tell others that I don't feel supported being a guide. How can I tell others I truly don't like to be a guide when I m good at it. How can I let go of leadership in Isha when I have the most free time and skill sets.
How can I block of L and S.
But in the end I did block of S. And also soon L too.
How can I ask for what I want.
Today you sent the message of a younger version of me. So alas I m making the wish for a partner from Linga.
Also I m not going to be the main guide.
3. The seeds of transformation.
Alexander the Great meet Diogenes
Postponement is a trick of the mind; it keeps you hoping , and meanwhile the opportunity is slipping by. And in the end u will come to cul-de-sac and there will be no opportunity left.
If you don't rest now, then u never will. Something or other will always remain to be conquered ... and time remains fleeting. U will die in the middle of ur journey.
Soul
Suddenly recalled what Sadhguru said about being mindless. Being mindless is not useful in the world. It won't make you more successful in the world.
But being mindless is a step to transcendence.
So I now can safely accept my mindless without feeling guilty that I m not evolving yet to be able to overcome disturbance of mind. To take so long to get over Z, to still need a new partner at my age.
For now just savour my practices, my bliss.
4. Direction of growth in ur inner awareness
The Chinese mystic's last surprise.
Laugher is eternal.
Finally asking for what I want
Nov 14 aft
Had a sumptuous breakfast with hot choc and Suku coffee. No coffee for me this week. I truly don't like the stimulant effect. The high is similar to being drunk from liquor. It is unpleasant high. Don't like it. I m saying no to coffee cos I don't like the negative stimulant in me. Promptly bought 4 packets of Suka coffee.
The hot chocolate was very good but I purged within two hours. Also I suddenly feel my body energy goes down and I feel faint. Went to Rejunevation to get a head and shoulder massage but not available. So quickly adjourned and took a 25 minutes dip in Teethakoon. Went I step in I was crying loads. It's been awhile since I cry.
Did my Shoonya outside Dhynalinga and went in deep.
Then adjoined for one and half hour in Dhynalinga. I went into deep meditation for one hour.
Came out bought vadai, veg puff and Suku coffee. Purged out the spice after 2 hours. Tonight will sit in the non spice section.
Met a Samyama participant. She told me that my nick name is laughing Buddha. And that the lady next to me love my laughter. This gal reminds me of myself, but at least she is aware of her issue. She is now in early twenties. She too has loads of values but not sure what is her own value.
I also found out that the cute gal and movie star look husband had gone to Linga Bhairavi and wish for a husband in Isha. She got a Facebook invite from the future husband a week after she made her request. The husband is a Christian faith from Kerala, whereas she is from North India. They met for the first time together with their parents and quickly proceeded to marriage.
Been thinking of asking for it. And today You sent a messenger, a younger version of me who also can't do Kapalvriksha and my mind made up. I will ask Linga for my husband. Remove my pride. Mmm, perhaps that's why the small fall from the high bathroom causing me to sprain my few toes. Now is painful and I think the spray will help.
Yes, now I understand my Seven of Diamond in Mars.
Whether it is about money, or love, situations will present themselves that test our faith in the abundance of the universe. By realising and releasing our fears, we can transform our attachment into total fearlessness and personal freedom.
Soul
To know the abundance. To ask for what I want knowing that it be granted.
I want my husband that is active in Isha practices and had good financial security and who live outside Isha ashram, preferably in my home area.
We are mutually attracted to each other, physically, mentally and emotionally and spiritually on the same Isha path. Our family accepted each other too. We have lovely time in the outer world and go for half yearly retreat into ashram.
Had a sumptuous breakfast with hot choc and Suku coffee. No coffee for me this week. I truly don't like the stimulant effect. The high is similar to being drunk from liquor. It is unpleasant high. Don't like it. I m saying no to coffee cos I don't like the negative stimulant in me. Promptly bought 4 packets of Suka coffee.
The hot chocolate was very good but I purged within two hours. Also I suddenly feel my body energy goes down and I feel faint. Went to Rejunevation to get a head and shoulder massage but not available. So quickly adjourned and took a 25 minutes dip in Teethakoon. Went I step in I was crying loads. It's been awhile since I cry.
Did my Shoonya outside Dhynalinga and went in deep.
Then adjoined for one and half hour in Dhynalinga. I went into deep meditation for one hour.
Came out bought vadai, veg puff and Suku coffee. Purged out the spice after 2 hours. Tonight will sit in the non spice section.
Met a Samyama participant. She told me that my nick name is laughing Buddha. And that the lady next to me love my laughter. This gal reminds me of myself, but at least she is aware of her issue. She is now in early twenties. She too has loads of values but not sure what is her own value.
I also found out that the cute gal and movie star look husband had gone to Linga Bhairavi and wish for a husband in Isha. She got a Facebook invite from the future husband a week after she made her request. The husband is a Christian faith from Kerala, whereas she is from North India. They met for the first time together with their parents and quickly proceeded to marriage.
Been thinking of asking for it. And today You sent a messenger, a younger version of me who also can't do Kapalvriksha and my mind made up. I will ask Linga for my husband. Remove my pride. Mmm, perhaps that's why the small fall from the high bathroom causing me to sprain my few toes. Now is painful and I think the spray will help.
Yes, now I understand my Seven of Diamond in Mars.
Whether it is about money, or love, situations will present themselves that test our faith in the abundance of the universe. By realising and releasing our fears, we can transform our attachment into total fearlessness and personal freedom.
Soul
To know the abundance. To ask for what I want knowing that it be granted.
I want my husband that is active in Isha practices and had good financial security and who live outside Isha ashram, preferably in my home area.
We are mutually attracted to each other, physically, mentally and emotionally and spiritually on the same Isha path. Our family accepted each other too. We have lovely time in the outer world and go for half yearly retreat into ashram.
Vjii and I on samadhi path
Nov 14 mor
Went to Sadhana hall to do morning practices. The new yoga mat is good for asanas but not good for Shakti. Have to get small pillow.
Again flying with Shakti for second time. Did my Shakti with awareness of breathe. Towards the end I m into the zone and laughter erupted.
Shambavi was good too. Today was crying and then laughing with Brahmanda Swaroopa chanting.
Later adjourned to Vijii
.
Now with Vijii. Now that I know my path is Samadhi, I understand why I was drawn to her energy even before knowing or meeting her. Our inner energy calling to each other.
Just savouring my time alone with her. The energy is so nice and lovely. I feel her love and protection.
As I sat after half an hour, suddenly a tot came on why she left before consecration of Dhynalinga. Yea, she caused trouble to others leaving at the crucial point of creating Dhynalinga. Just like I left Isha leadership when Sadhguru came last year. I had to leave before the responsibility sets on. Once Dhynalinga is on, she can't go her path. So she took a fast track.
Just like me not wanting to be Sathsang guide. Its ironic that both of us got so much loving energy and responsibility. But our sense of responsibility keeps us where we don't want to be.
Now after this Samyama, no more regret on leaving the role of guide. Just be easy on myself, reaffirm my path. Samyama practices will deepen. Today slept less than 4 hours but feel awake despite restless sleep before 12 am due to fan.
The night Samyama with Shoonya will be replaced by Breathing meditation. And definitely wake up time is now 4 am.
Nov 20
I shared with P on the similarity between me and Vijii when I too left the core team just before Sadhguru's visit. I said others must have resented Vijii, the same as they judged and resented me. I understand Vijii cos I too acted the same. We just both need to run away and go on our own path.
P admitted she was resentful of me then for breaking away at crucial point, leaving her to fend...I said I know....
Went to Sadhana hall to do morning practices. The new yoga mat is good for asanas but not good for Shakti. Have to get small pillow.
Again flying with Shakti for second time. Did my Shakti with awareness of breathe. Towards the end I m into the zone and laughter erupted.
Shambavi was good too. Today was crying and then laughing with Brahmanda Swaroopa chanting.
Later adjourned to Vijii
.
Now with Vijii. Now that I know my path is Samadhi, I understand why I was drawn to her energy even before knowing or meeting her. Our inner energy calling to each other.
Just savouring my time alone with her. The energy is so nice and lovely. I feel her love and protection.
As I sat after half an hour, suddenly a tot came on why she left before consecration of Dhynalinga. Yea, she caused trouble to others leaving at the crucial point of creating Dhynalinga. Just like I left Isha leadership when Sadhguru came last year. I had to leave before the responsibility sets on. Once Dhynalinga is on, she can't go her path. So she took a fast track.
Just like me not wanting to be Sathsang guide. Its ironic that both of us got so much loving energy and responsibility. But our sense of responsibility keeps us where we don't want to be.
Now after this Samyama, no more regret on leaving the role of guide. Just be easy on myself, reaffirm my path. Samyama practices will deepen. Today slept less than 4 hours but feel awake despite restless sleep before 12 am due to fan.
The night Samyama with Shoonya will be replaced by Breathing meditation. And definitely wake up time is now 4 am.
Nov 20
I shared with P on the similarity between me and Vijii when I too left the core team just before Sadhguru's visit. I said others must have resented Vijii, the same as they judged and resented me. I understand Vijii cos I too acted the same. We just both need to run away and go on our own path.
P admitted she was resentful of me then for breaking away at crucial point, leaving her to fend...I said I know....
My past identification resulted in mind creating past thoughts
Nov 13 eve
During Samyama I finally said enough of attraction to Indian men so that I can have my sadhana room. I will built my own sadhana room. I already got yantra, just need big Dhynalinga picture. I also want my snake ring. To remind myself that I wanted to stillness of the snake. To remind myself on my path.
Snake ring looks good on me. It felt bit heavy on me. But my choice is made. Commitment is made alas.
During the Samyama very little tots of anything. But some tots came in on issue being
Sathsang guide, tot of L's heavy criticism and some jealous tots of Z's wife and Z.
Sadhguru
Your mind can only create tots relating to what u identify.
Soul
Looks like I was attached being a Sathsang guide or rather being a good person and L's heavy criticism blow me off.
Now with Z perhaps I identified myself as the 'wife' who got left behind. The 'wife' who gave everything, see thru the 'bad' times with the 'husband' and now that husband is 'successful', he ditched me and found a young gal. I guess I expect to be 'paid' for my loyalty. I expect him to know that I want more.
So the north node is really true. Anyway just remind myself I got what I want. Like Sadhguru said when we love someone, we exaggerate their quality. I projected my goodness on him. G said she couldn't see him as what I has said. To G, Z was a player and yet also want a traditional life.
Anyway, it's over. The last remnants now cleared. Going to do another clearing at Linga this Friday. Will be good.
During Samyama I finally said enough of attraction to Indian men so that I can have my sadhana room. I will built my own sadhana room. I already got yantra, just need big Dhynalinga picture. I also want my snake ring. To remind myself that I wanted to stillness of the snake. To remind myself on my path.
Snake ring looks good on me. It felt bit heavy on me. But my choice is made. Commitment is made alas.
During the Samyama very little tots of anything. But some tots came in on issue being
Sathsang guide, tot of L's heavy criticism and some jealous tots of Z's wife and Z.
Sadhguru
Your mind can only create tots relating to what u identify.
Soul
Looks like I was attached being a Sathsang guide or rather being a good person and L's heavy criticism blow me off.
Now with Z perhaps I identified myself as the 'wife' who got left behind. The 'wife' who gave everything, see thru the 'bad' times with the 'husband' and now that husband is 'successful', he ditched me and found a young gal. I guess I expect to be 'paid' for my loyalty. I expect him to know that I want more.
So the north node is really true. Anyway just remind myself I got what I want. Like Sadhguru said when we love someone, we exaggerate their quality. I projected my goodness on him. G said she couldn't see him as what I has said. To G, Z was a player and yet also want a traditional life.
Anyway, it's over. The last remnants now cleared. Going to do another clearing at Linga this Friday. Will be good.
Flying high with Shakti Chalana Kriya
Nov 13
Just finished Samyama. Suddenly need to break free with coffee. Its been nearly three hours and I still feel high from the coffee.
I used to think Coffee doesn't affect me and I can sleep just like that. But now after 40 days of strict veg and positive pranic food I can finally see the coffee has stimulant. The high it gives me is similar to wine. Not sure I want to drink coffee tomorrow. The high I get from my practices is much better.
Now I know what Sadhguru meant that its better to be 'drunk' from practices.
Sadhana.
It was quite effortless, considering first time without meditation chair. But on third day I had to use joint spray as pain creeping up.
During the process, it suddenly dawned on me that the reason I want out from being a guide is that there is no support. Previously with M, not only he gave me full support on technical and I focused only on being a guide, he was also the program lead and I can just let go during program.
Now not only I had to be responsible for the Sathsang set up but also for program. It then dawned on me that I truly got communication issue. I kept my feelings so much that I couldn't even express it to my self.
So, confirmed that I should not be a guide.
Later Sadhguru spoke about awareness and samadhi mode. I knew I m definitely Samadhi mode. And being a guide means I have to suppress my samadhi mode. So it is not about resistance in service but its because its against my spiritual path.
I lost all my chance to be in Samadhi mode in Sathsang and in program. It is not about leadership or services but it is about me wanting to be on my own samadhi mode.
Just confirmed with teacher, V that I m definitely a Samadhi type. She said during my first Sathsang she was worried I jumped up.
Today I finally got my breakthrough in Shakti Chalana kriya. I was able to watch my breathe during Kapala Bhakti and at the end I exploded into laughter and singing. Alas I finally got it. No wonder it took so long cos Shakti is more of an awareness mode. Now that I learned breathing meditation correctly I am able to apply it on Shakti.
Also learned that I shouldn't put Shoonya and Samyama on back to back. From now on Samyama be before sleep. Luckily got confirmation from teacher.
Just finished Samyama. Suddenly need to break free with coffee. Its been nearly three hours and I still feel high from the coffee.
I used to think Coffee doesn't affect me and I can sleep just like that. But now after 40 days of strict veg and positive pranic food I can finally see the coffee has stimulant. The high it gives me is similar to wine. Not sure I want to drink coffee tomorrow. The high I get from my practices is much better.
Now I know what Sadhguru meant that its better to be 'drunk' from practices.
Sadhana.
It was quite effortless, considering first time without meditation chair. But on third day I had to use joint spray as pain creeping up.
During the process, it suddenly dawned on me that the reason I want out from being a guide is that there is no support. Previously with M, not only he gave me full support on technical and I focused only on being a guide, he was also the program lead and I can just let go during program.
Now not only I had to be responsible for the Sathsang set up but also for program. It then dawned on me that I truly got communication issue. I kept my feelings so much that I couldn't even express it to my self.
So, confirmed that I should not be a guide.
Later Sadhguru spoke about awareness and samadhi mode. I knew I m definitely Samadhi mode. And being a guide means I have to suppress my samadhi mode. So it is not about resistance in service but its because its against my spiritual path.
I lost all my chance to be in Samadhi mode in Sathsang and in program. It is not about leadership or services but it is about me wanting to be on my own samadhi mode.
Just confirmed with teacher, V that I m definitely a Samadhi type. She said during my first Sathsang she was worried I jumped up.
Today I finally got my breakthrough in Shakti Chalana kriya. I was able to watch my breathe during Kapala Bhakti and at the end I exploded into laughter and singing. Alas I finally got it. No wonder it took so long cos Shakti is more of an awareness mode. Now that I learned breathing meditation correctly I am able to apply it on Shakti.
Also learned that I shouldn't put Shoonya and Samyama on back to back. From now on Samyama be before sleep. Luckily got confirmation from teacher.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Quality of life is not based on outer but inner well being
Nov 8 eve 1
Went to Spandana hall for Samyama meeting. When I step in I can feel the energy, half way laughter comes up and when I reach there, just continue to laugh for a long while. The energy is great. Guess the remnants of another program that just ended an hour ago.
Body the greatest gadget by Sadhguru
It takes a certain amount of awareness for a human being to realise that the essence of life, the quality of his life is not decided by what is outside, but by what is within him.
This has been completely misinterpreted. People concluded that if if u want to be spiritual, u must give up everything outside. It is not about giving up or not giving up.
Whether you are spiritual or otherwise, you anyway breathe, eat food and drink water. Whether u eat good food or bad food is the only choice u have. So it is not about giving up. It is a shift of focus where you see that if you do not handle the internal appropriately, the quality of ur life cannot be good.
The quality of ur life is decided not by what kind of clothes u wear, what kind of car u drive or what kind of home u live in, but by how peaceful and joyful u are within urself.
This is essentially the quality of life. Everything else is done to get there. If this does not happen, everything else goes to waste.
Went to Spandana hall for Samyama meeting. When I step in I can feel the energy, half way laughter comes up and when I reach there, just continue to laugh for a long while. The energy is great. Guess the remnants of another program that just ended an hour ago.
Body the greatest gadget by Sadhguru
It takes a certain amount of awareness for a human being to realise that the essence of life, the quality of his life is not decided by what is outside, but by what is within him.
This has been completely misinterpreted. People concluded that if if u want to be spiritual, u must give up everything outside. It is not about giving up or not giving up.
Whether you are spiritual or otherwise, you anyway breathe, eat food and drink water. Whether u eat good food or bad food is the only choice u have. So it is not about giving up. It is a shift of focus where you see that if you do not handle the internal appropriately, the quality of ur life cannot be good.
The quality of ur life is decided not by what kind of clothes u wear, what kind of car u drive or what kind of home u live in, but by how peaceful and joyful u are within urself.
This is essentially the quality of life. Everything else is done to get there. If this does not happen, everything else goes to waste.
Being joyful expands your sensory body...receptive
Nov 8 eve
Body the greatest gadget by Sadhguru
As a human being u have different possibilities - a certain capability that u can do something beyond ur instinct of survival. That is most important. Yet, most human beings instead of looking beyond the needs for survival, have just raised their standard of survival. Survival at one time means getting a meal or two a day. Now, survival means u must have a Mercedes. We are raising the bar, but it is only still survival. This is an intelligent way of using the human mechanism which has come with a different possibility altogether.
This body can be just a mass of flesh, driven by simple instincts within u or it can be made into a tremendous instrument - an instrument which can bring the Divine into ur direct experience.
Soul
Amen. I am on the right track.
Body the greatest gadget by Sadhguru
If u make yourself exuberant with joy, love or ecstasy for example, the sensory body becomes very large. If u make urself depressed and sad, even if somebody physically touches you, u may not even notice it, because ur sensory body has shrunk below the size of the physical body.
Suppose u expanded ur sensory body, u could experience everything as part of yourself. As u experience the five fingers of ur hand, u can experience anything u willing to include, as part of urself.
U can expand ur sensory body to everything, u can include the whole universe as part of urself. This is what we are referring to as yoga. Yoga means union. That means the individual and universe has become one.
Soul
Mmm
Body the greatest gadget by Sadhguru
If ur sensory body extends to the whole universe, even then the center of this sensory body will be ur spine - ur experiential dimension is rooted in ur spine.
How the energies in ur spine are functioning right now determines just about everything about ur life. This is why yoga attaches enormous importance to the human spine.
Soul
I came back this time for arashidharna. I m aware that when I sat in arashidharna, my mind becomes quiet and stillness sets in.
I want to practice Samyama on life.
Body the greatest gadget by Sadhguru
As a human being u have different possibilities - a certain capability that u can do something beyond ur instinct of survival. That is most important. Yet, most human beings instead of looking beyond the needs for survival, have just raised their standard of survival. Survival at one time means getting a meal or two a day. Now, survival means u must have a Mercedes. We are raising the bar, but it is only still survival. This is an intelligent way of using the human mechanism which has come with a different possibility altogether.
This body can be just a mass of flesh, driven by simple instincts within u or it can be made into a tremendous instrument - an instrument which can bring the Divine into ur direct experience.
Soul
Amen. I am on the right track.
Body the greatest gadget by Sadhguru
If u make yourself exuberant with joy, love or ecstasy for example, the sensory body becomes very large. If u make urself depressed and sad, even if somebody physically touches you, u may not even notice it, because ur sensory body has shrunk below the size of the physical body.
Suppose u expanded ur sensory body, u could experience everything as part of yourself. As u experience the five fingers of ur hand, u can experience anything u willing to include, as part of urself.
U can expand ur sensory body to everything, u can include the whole universe as part of urself. This is what we are referring to as yoga. Yoga means union. That means the individual and universe has become one.
Soul
Mmm
Body the greatest gadget by Sadhguru
If ur sensory body extends to the whole universe, even then the center of this sensory body will be ur spine - ur experiential dimension is rooted in ur spine.
How the energies in ur spine are functioning right now determines just about everything about ur life. This is why yoga attaches enormous importance to the human spine.
Soul
I came back this time for arashidharna. I m aware that when I sat in arashidharna, my mind becomes quiet and stillness sets in.
I want to practice Samyama on life.
Sitting contently in Dhynalinga
Nov 8 aft
On the way to ashram, was feeling bit sorry that I had to miss food. Not sure if I can last so many days alone. Tot of leaving ashram one day earlier to Chennai.
When I reach ashram, I was settled and just feel at home.
Will keep to my plan. Went to the restaurant and ate food, got some negative pranic. I picked out the onion.
Now chilling out in my room.
Evening
Woke up upon alarm at 4.28 pm but still very tired. I slept back and woke up around 5.20 pm. Planned to take a dip and walked to Linga to take a dip in Theethakoon. On the way, I was asked to join Nada Aradhana at Dhynalinga. So I just go with the flow and went. When I step in I felt the heat and not so comfortable. I sat n looked at Dhynalinga and become okay. Moment later sounds started and I m in. I remember crying bit. After nada Aradhana ended I couldn't wake up. It was so contented and feel the breeze of cool air. Sitting in arashidharna, so nice. Just sitting there in stillness. There were little tots. Just silence in the mind.
I then tot I have to adjourned to Teetakhoon. It was nearly 45 minutes in Dhynalinga and it felt like a short while only.
On the way to ashram, was feeling bit sorry that I had to miss food. Not sure if I can last so many days alone. Tot of leaving ashram one day earlier to Chennai.
When I reach ashram, I was settled and just feel at home.
Will keep to my plan. Went to the restaurant and ate food, got some negative pranic. I picked out the onion.
Now chilling out in my room.
Evening
Woke up upon alarm at 4.28 pm but still very tired. I slept back and woke up around 5.20 pm. Planned to take a dip and walked to Linga to take a dip in Theethakoon. On the way, I was asked to join Nada Aradhana at Dhynalinga. So I just go with the flow and went. When I step in I felt the heat and not so comfortable. I sat n looked at Dhynalinga and become okay. Moment later sounds started and I m in. I remember crying bit. After nada Aradhana ended I couldn't wake up. It was so contented and feel the breeze of cool air. Sitting in arashidharna, so nice. Just sitting there in stillness. There were little tots. Just silence in the mind.
I then tot I have to adjourned to Teetakhoon. It was nearly 45 minutes in Dhynalinga and it felt like a short while only.
My past relationship is just like a failed exam or job interview, it is gone
Nov 8
Woke up groggy at 3 am to catch my flight. Now at Chennai airport, waiting for flight to Coimbatore.
There were some tots of past. I remind myself that I m tulip and wife is rose. No comparison. Also instead of thinking he chose the wrong gal, why don't I focus on my new beginnings.
Suddenly it occur to me, my past with Z was just like an exam that is past. Thinking about my or his performance will never change the marks. No point mulling it over. All tots of past stopped. This is the best stopper.
Adhyatma Upanishad
This fallacy, that the body is myself, is the cause of creating, in the imagination, the idea of past actions.
As long as whatever has been understood is also not practiced, it cannot become a part of ur being. Whatever has been understood, if it does not become assimilated in ur blood, flesh and bones, it will fade away like some coloring done on an outer surface. If you remain the same old person, all the new understanding will be eliminated, soon forgotten.
Many times u have turned back from the doorstep of truth. Many times u have found the door, it was only a matter of knocking, but again u moved
Soul
A tot of past came. I looked at it and said just as old test that I failed, it is over. Like those job interviews that I didn't make it, it is past. And I was fine cos I know there are no mistake in job. I m supposed to be with the job that supports my growth. And I m now at the job that I m meant to have, that allow me the three day off and money to go for ashram anytime I want to.
Then the same goes to the romantic relationships. There are no mistakes. We were supposed to meet and have a relationship, we too supposed to end.
Father, I m truly well. Never had this tot before.
Adhyatma Upanishad
If anything wrong is to be done we do it immediately; if something good is to be done we think about it. Both of these are very deep tricks of the mind, because whatsoever it is to be done can be done only if it is done immediately - whether being angry or doing meditations, it does not matter. We want to express anger, hence we do it immediately. We do not even wait for a moment, because if we wait we will not be able to do it.
One who repents after anger will never be able to become free from anger. Only those ego repentance precedes the anger can become free of anger, because whatsoever has already happened cannot be undone.
Woke up groggy at 3 am to catch my flight. Now at Chennai airport, waiting for flight to Coimbatore.
There were some tots of past. I remind myself that I m tulip and wife is rose. No comparison. Also instead of thinking he chose the wrong gal, why don't I focus on my new beginnings.
Suddenly it occur to me, my past with Z was just like an exam that is past. Thinking about my or his performance will never change the marks. No point mulling it over. All tots of past stopped. This is the best stopper.
Adhyatma Upanishad
This fallacy, that the body is myself, is the cause of creating, in the imagination, the idea of past actions.
As long as whatever has been understood is also not practiced, it cannot become a part of ur being. Whatever has been understood, if it does not become assimilated in ur blood, flesh and bones, it will fade away like some coloring done on an outer surface. If you remain the same old person, all the new understanding will be eliminated, soon forgotten.
Many times u have turned back from the doorstep of truth. Many times u have found the door, it was only a matter of knocking, but again u moved
Soul
A tot of past came. I looked at it and said just as old test that I failed, it is over. Like those job interviews that I didn't make it, it is past. And I was fine cos I know there are no mistake in job. I m supposed to be with the job that supports my growth. And I m now at the job that I m meant to have, that allow me the three day off and money to go for ashram anytime I want to.
Then the same goes to the romantic relationships. There are no mistakes. We were supposed to meet and have a relationship, we too supposed to end.
Father, I m truly well. Never had this tot before.
Adhyatma Upanishad
If anything wrong is to be done we do it immediately; if something good is to be done we think about it. Both of these are very deep tricks of the mind, because whatsoever it is to be done can be done only if it is done immediately - whether being angry or doing meditations, it does not matter. We want to express anger, hence we do it immediately. We do not even wait for a moment, because if we wait we will not be able to do it.
One who repents after anger will never be able to become free from anger. Only those ego repentance precedes the anger can become free of anger, because whatsoever has already happened cannot be undone.
Parental mode pushes people down as they can't pull themselves up
Nov 7
Body woke up around 3 plus. I doze a bit till alarm rang at 4.10 am.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya followed by asanas. It was fine, despite the short break. Did a quick Shavasana followed by breathing session. It was nice and I did for a long while.
Shakti was great. Full focus on Kapala Bhakti. Others also ok. Towards the end head was shaking non stop.
Shambavi was good.
There were little tots of past and even that I told myself it is past and let it be. Moments later the tots evaporate.
Towards the end sitting contently in arashidharna posture. So nice. Took a long while too.
As I was driving a calmness pervades me. A tot came on yesterday conversation where A said some yoga teacher was condemning Isha. I told A that's because she can't pull her yoga up so got to pull others down. It would be too much to think that she followed the wrong yoga or her type of yoga not transformative. So better and easier to pull down others.
Suddenly it occur to me that's what S does; pulling me down. I used to feel so judged as if I m worthless in her eyes. I broke away cos I no longer believe her judgement as people who shout the loudest are not gospel truth. And I blocked her cos I no longer need to keep receiving her verbal abuse.
Now I know that she cannot handle leadership role, I can see why she pushes me down as she can't push herself up. She always said she don't mind not having senior position but in truth she cannot make it.
This was the same with L. Maybe with P too. These parental mode normally claims that they don't need appreciation but actually they do.
Adhyatma Upanishad
Ur body is clay and ur mind is clay too. The emptiness, the void between these two is ur soul - nothing has ever reached there.
To have known this is to go beyond all disturbances. All disturbances are of the body and the mind, not of u. But whatsoever the clay has absorbed, the clay will have to live it.
Enlightenment brings the experience that one is not the doer, but it does not destroy past actions. Whatever has been done will come to fruition.
Soul
Another reminder to let things flow.
Body woke up around 3 plus. I doze a bit till alarm rang at 4.10 am.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya followed by asanas. It was fine, despite the short break. Did a quick Shavasana followed by breathing session. It was nice and I did for a long while.
Shakti was great. Full focus on Kapala Bhakti. Others also ok. Towards the end head was shaking non stop.
Shambavi was good.
There were little tots of past and even that I told myself it is past and let it be. Moments later the tots evaporate.
Towards the end sitting contently in arashidharna posture. So nice. Took a long while too.
As I was driving a calmness pervades me. A tot came on yesterday conversation where A said some yoga teacher was condemning Isha. I told A that's because she can't pull her yoga up so got to pull others down. It would be too much to think that she followed the wrong yoga or her type of yoga not transformative. So better and easier to pull down others.
Suddenly it occur to me that's what S does; pulling me down. I used to feel so judged as if I m worthless in her eyes. I broke away cos I no longer believe her judgement as people who shout the loudest are not gospel truth. And I blocked her cos I no longer need to keep receiving her verbal abuse.
Now I know that she cannot handle leadership role, I can see why she pushes me down as she can't push herself up. She always said she don't mind not having senior position but in truth she cannot make it.
This was the same with L. Maybe with P too. These parental mode normally claims that they don't need appreciation but actually they do.
Adhyatma Upanishad
Ur body is clay and ur mind is clay too. The emptiness, the void between these two is ur soul - nothing has ever reached there.
To have known this is to go beyond all disturbances. All disturbances are of the body and the mind, not of u. But whatsoever the clay has absorbed, the clay will have to live it.
Enlightenment brings the experience that one is not the doer, but it does not destroy past actions. Whatever has been done will come to fruition.
Soul
Another reminder to let things flow.
The past need to be let through
Nov 6 aft
Adhyatma Upanishad
Ramakrishna
However supreme a state an individual may attain, the past that is attached to the body will complete itself. Happiness and sufferings will come and go, but the liberated person will know that it is only the accumulated past actions. Knowing so, he will stand apart from them too, and his witnessing will not be affected by them in any way. His witnessing is now steady.
Just as an arrow that has left the bow cannot be called back, just as a word that has left the lips cannot be called back - in the same way the body is just a mechanical arrangement.
Whatsoever happened though in the past will be completed. So the body will have to suffer and endure.
Soul
Maybe just take my tots of the past as my past action. Keep observing. Need not react.
Adhyatma Upanishad
The mind has first to be purified through right listening, right contemplation and assimilation. When the receptivity of the mind becomes pure, so that it can produce an authentic copy of whatsoever is happening.
Similarly like dark clouds covering the outer sky, clouds also cover the inner sky. The clouds of inner sky are called thoughts, choices, desires - whatsoever we want to call them. When such clouds cover the inner sky, there too one feels no cloudless sky exist behind them. Removing those inner clouds and seeing into the inner blue sky is meditation.
Adhyatma Upanishad
Ramakrishna
However supreme a state an individual may attain, the past that is attached to the body will complete itself. Happiness and sufferings will come and go, but the liberated person will know that it is only the accumulated past actions. Knowing so, he will stand apart from them too, and his witnessing will not be affected by them in any way. His witnessing is now steady.
Just as an arrow that has left the bow cannot be called back, just as a word that has left the lips cannot be called back - in the same way the body is just a mechanical arrangement.
Whatsoever happened though in the past will be completed. So the body will have to suffer and endure.
Soul
Maybe just take my tots of the past as my past action. Keep observing. Need not react.
Adhyatma Upanishad
The mind has first to be purified through right listening, right contemplation and assimilation. When the receptivity of the mind becomes pure, so that it can produce an authentic copy of whatsoever is happening.
Similarly like dark clouds covering the outer sky, clouds also cover the inner sky. The clouds of inner sky are called thoughts, choices, desires - whatsoever we want to call them. When such clouds cover the inner sky, there too one feels no cloudless sky exist behind them. Removing those inner clouds and seeing into the inner blue sky is meditation.
Main thing is to follow my own values
Nov 6
Body woke up around 4 plus am. But I slept back cos waiting for alarm. After a long while I knew alarm must be off. True enough I put on alarm on Saturday instead. Woke up 5.32 am instead. Sat on the toilet bowl and tot of what G said about us having to do sadhana while others don't and their life seems ok. Then I waived it, we are blessed to find the tools and did a quick cold shower.
Did a quick breathing in arashidharna posture, it was nice. Shakti was good as I was focused. Kapala Bhakti is improving further. Shambavi starts from Suka kriya cos don't have time. Towards the end sitting in arashidharna, just contentment. When I did prayer of thanks, laughter erupted.
There were some past tots but no longer affects me. I am slowly learning the tots are not me. It is truly over.
Got this from Facebook.
What defines a person is not what others may think of them but rather, what they think of themselves.
Soul
Yes. Finally got it.
Also understand what is meant by not following nor resisting other values. Main thing is my values and if happen to coincide with others then it is good.
Adhyatma Upanishad
This is the discovery. The way this world appears today when one sets out on the search is not the way it is after the awakening. All 'my-ness' will disappear. All accumulated concepts will disappear. All one's projections within the world will be destroyed; all one's projections within the world will be destroyed; all one's expectations of the world will drop.
No demands will remain; all one's ideas of finding happiness in the world will vanish, even the illusion that the world gives unhappiness will be destroyed. Any feelings that one has any transactions with the world will also end.
Soul
Wow.
Not sure of the rest. But I want to continue to work on my tots are not me. Since I can't control the generation of tots; must then disown them as I got no control over them.
Adhyatma Upanishad
The very meaning of the glimpse of truth is that the relationship between u and ur world is changed. The world will remain the same as before and the relationship with it will change only when u change.
Soul
Mmm
Adhyatma Upanishad
Happiness and suffering happen due to our past actions. So do not think that physical suffering or happiness will not happen to those who are liberated while living.
Ramana Maharahi died of cancer. Ramana said there is great pain, but it is not happening to me. I am aware that there is great pain happening to the body; I know that there is great pain. I am seeing it, but it is not happening to me.
Now that I am awake, I will understand that the seeds were already sown and now they are reaching their destiny( none of them are mine, I will just go on witnessing. The seeds will sprout, flowers will come, fruits will grow, but I will not gather them. Those fruits will grow and fall of on their own accord and die. My relationship with them will snap. My relationship with them before was of having sown them - now I will not do that again. Thus no further relationship will be formed.
Body woke up around 4 plus am. But I slept back cos waiting for alarm. After a long while I knew alarm must be off. True enough I put on alarm on Saturday instead. Woke up 5.32 am instead. Sat on the toilet bowl and tot of what G said about us having to do sadhana while others don't and their life seems ok. Then I waived it, we are blessed to find the tools and did a quick cold shower.
Did a quick breathing in arashidharna posture, it was nice. Shakti was good as I was focused. Kapala Bhakti is improving further. Shambavi starts from Suka kriya cos don't have time. Towards the end sitting in arashidharna, just contentment. When I did prayer of thanks, laughter erupted.
There were some past tots but no longer affects me. I am slowly learning the tots are not me. It is truly over.
Got this from Facebook.
What defines a person is not what others may think of them but rather, what they think of themselves.
Soul
Yes. Finally got it.
Also understand what is meant by not following nor resisting other values. Main thing is my values and if happen to coincide with others then it is good.
Adhyatma Upanishad
This is the discovery. The way this world appears today when one sets out on the search is not the way it is after the awakening. All 'my-ness' will disappear. All accumulated concepts will disappear. All one's projections within the world will be destroyed; all one's projections within the world will be destroyed; all one's expectations of the world will drop.
No demands will remain; all one's ideas of finding happiness in the world will vanish, even the illusion that the world gives unhappiness will be destroyed. Any feelings that one has any transactions with the world will also end.
Soul
Wow.
Not sure of the rest. But I want to continue to work on my tots are not me. Since I can't control the generation of tots; must then disown them as I got no control over them.
Adhyatma Upanishad
The very meaning of the glimpse of truth is that the relationship between u and ur world is changed. The world will remain the same as before and the relationship with it will change only when u change.
Soul
Mmm
Adhyatma Upanishad
Happiness and suffering happen due to our past actions. So do not think that physical suffering or happiness will not happen to those who are liberated while living.
Ramana Maharahi died of cancer. Ramana said there is great pain, but it is not happening to me. I am aware that there is great pain happening to the body; I know that there is great pain. I am seeing it, but it is not happening to me.
Now that I am awake, I will understand that the seeds were already sown and now they are reaching their destiny( none of them are mine, I will just go on witnessing. The seeds will sprout, flowers will come, fruits will grow, but I will not gather them. Those fruits will grow and fall of on their own accord and die. My relationship with them will snap. My relationship with them before was of having sown them - now I will not do that again. Thus no further relationship will be formed.
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