Nine of Spades and Nine of Diamonds - every death is a new beginning

Nov 20
Slept late around 12.30 am.
Woke up at alarm at 7.15 am. Had a good dream of a nice bakery with oven fresh bread.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya after guru pooja. Breathing was lovely, followed by Shakti.
Shakti was good and I was laughing at the end.
Since I have to leave for breakfast, did an abridged Shambavi..equally powerful.
Sat as long as I could before I had to go.
So at peace and love with myself.

Came back from breakfast, wash the copper pot and get it ready to be used. Will use it later this evening.

Had been updating my blog.
Today, I felt an ending of the past. Now just new beginning ahead.
Now I understand what my Osho transformation card meant, no death is death. Every death is new beginning. I have the option of feeling sad for the death or celebrate new beginning.
I am celebrating and savouring my new found freedom to wish for what I want.
My wishes has come through, yantra and copper pot...next will be my husband.
I am not sure if that will eventually feel the emptiness within but I know thats what my inner child need and I will give.
I had denied my inner child for so long.
Finally ending the inner parental mode and with that outer parental mode 'friends' are either gone from my life or converted into true friends.

Yea...thats its. Ending of Parental mode...finally my child can come out.
I told A yesterday, that I feel so sad that my face/body cannot express the feelings within. Even when I was feeling such enormous sadness, but it is not reflected. Thats means I have suppressed it loads. No more suppression of my inner child. Will give it what it needs.

My Daily Card
The Nine of Clubs

The Nine of Clubs literally means 'completion of plans or ideas'. When this card appears it will signal a time when some ideas, ways of thinking or communicating, or some personal plans of yours are ready to end. If you choose to resist this ending, you will experience great disappointment, stubbornly holding on to things, ideas or plans that are no longer useful or helpful to you. If it seems that things are going against you when this card is present, it is probably because you are resisting letting go of something, that in reality, is no longer doing you any good.
On the positive side, you are ready to awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than you have imagined. The Nine of Clubs has been known to signal a time when powerful spiritual experiences may occur, such as universal consciousness, and also indicates the success of any endeavors that involve spreading higher truths to the world.

Soul
Finally new beginning...
Truly glad I did the clearing of aura at Linga followed by wishing at Linga

So fitting to my this year Destiny card
Results - Nine of Spades
Somehow associated with ur Pluto card, this year will be the element of 'ending'. This could be death of someone u know, a job or health habits that have created the problems u may now be experiencing.
This letting go will certainly take u to a better place, a state of mind where u will be more free to live as u please.
U r ending a major chapter in ur life that will lead u to a new beginning that is just around the corner. In this process, there may be things that u have been doing for a long time that u will now let go of and stop doing. Let go and live.

Affirmation -  I learn to let go of people, lifestyle habits, and jobs that have completed their purpose in my life. They are fulfilled and I am free to move on the new and better things.

Soul
Definitely, an ending of how I conduct my personal friendships and how I would begin my romantic relationships.

Environment - Nine of Diamonds
Giving up things, people or jobs that u once valued highly will bring many blessings and rewards this year.
On some level, this is a year to let go of the past and prepare to move on to many new and better things.
Usually we are afraid to let go of things in our life, afraid that the loss will deprive us of something important and essential to our happiness. However, this year u are protected, and all completions will bring u greater fortune and happiness.

Soul
Yeap
On the right track.
Coffee is no longer my comfort drink..it is a pleasure drink which I indulge now and then.
And the transformation card I received during Samyama said the same...Death is not death...Death is not a time for sadness but a time for celerbration