Sharing my new found self, my true values

Nov 18
Told P about my samadhi path. I m now aware of why I m resentful of being a Sathsang guide. Also of the fact that not only I got to be the guide, I have to be the coordinator too as V is only the technical side. I also lost the ability to be on samadhi, falling during every sathsang.

I also shared I m truly not keen on volunteering. I m not keen to be a guide. I just want to focus on my path. I had difficulty in knowing my feelings. But now I m cleared.

I told her I cried with Vijii. I can relate why Vijji took the energy and went into samadhi just before the consecration of  Dhynalinga. I m sure others would have tot she was selfish. Just like when I ran off just before Sadhguru's visit, others tot me selfish too. But I just couldn't stay. I had to go.
She too shared with me that she was resentful of me when I quit leading local Isha just before Sadhguru's visit.

I told her that I just want to focus on my samadhi path. To fall into Sadhguru's grace. My sadhana hall is complete. I m finally comfortable with myself. Finally realised I was feeling unease. My path is cleared now. I will take a back stand on being core team.  I will be here but no longer active as before. Will be here as needed. She too shared she needs a break, she want to focus on her sadhana too. We both don't want to helm local Isha.

Now working with Linga, on my feminine divinity.

Me just want to be on total path of Isha on my samadhi path.

Soul
Mmm, no wonder Four of Diamonds today.
The Four of Diamonds

The Four of Diamonds means a solid sense of values that attracts enough money to meet our security needs and then some. When we know exactly what it is we want, we tend to attract those things to us more quickly. Thus, when this card shows up, it usually means that we have gotten clear about what we want and then we get it. Satisfaction and prosperity are indicated here and you may have a good foundation upon which you can begin building a financial future. Managing your resources could come into focus in a greater way when this card is present and this card can give you the ability to handle financial matters with a clear mind.

Soul
True.

Just now when I checked my today Osho tarot card, I got Postponement.
Yes, finally told P on my new plan to be on my own samadhi path.
Feels better after sharing.


Was updating my Nov 5 blog and saw this:

Moon in Taurus by Gargatholil
 It may occur, however, whether through disillusionment or a sudden shift in point of view, that you retreat from active social involvement in order to undertake your own personal quest.  You may realize that changing the system does not necessarily equate to its improvement and that true change depends upon raising consciousness.  You then see that consciousness raising must begin with yourself.  You, therefore, embark on a personal journey toward actualizing your high ideals.

Soul
Exactly what I am about to do.
Just want to retreat and be on my own samadhi path.

Still updating my blog and got this from the facebook
In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important.

Soul
I have no goal. I don't know where I be leading. But I know my path and that is samadhi.