Osho transformation - emptiness cannot be filled by others

Nov 16 aft
Menses just came, early by two days. Body system has stabilised. No wonder I was feeling out yesterday night.

Osho transformation cards drawn just before Samyama

Direction of growth in ur inner awareness
The Chinese mystic's last surprise
Existence is continuous, it is continuum. There is no single moment's gap in it. No death is death, because every death opens a new door - it is a beginning. There is no end to life, there is always new beginning, a resurrection.
If u change ur sadness to celebration, then u will also be capable of changing ur death into resurrection. So, learn the art while there is still time.
It was not death, it was a new life.

Soul
This morning when I did my last cry to Vijii on ending of love for Z. Yea, it is not death but a new life.
Now looking on for new beginning. My body has reduced its weight back to my size three years ago. Mmm, just as I lost the weight that is not me, same as I lost Z.

Key to integration - understanding that is most important for u to work on
A parable of ambition and hurry

Man is full if he is in tune with the universe; if he is not in tune with the universe, then he is empty, utterly empty. And out of that emptiness comes greed. Greed simply means u are feeling a deep emptiness and you want to fill it with anything possible.
Greed is to fill it - with food, with money, with houses, with furniture, with friends, with lovers, with anything - because one cannot live as emptiness. It is horrifying, it is a ghost life. If u are empty and there is nothing inside u, it is impossible to live.

To have the feeling that u have much inside u, there are only two ways: either u get in tune with the universe .... then u are filled with the whole, with all the flowers and with all the stars. They are within u just as they are without u. That is real fulfillment. But if you don't do that --- and millions of people are not doing that -- then the easiest way is to fill it with any junk.

So there are many ways to fill emptiness, although it is never full -- it remains empty and u remain miserable because it is never enough. More is needed and the more and the demand for more is unending.

So be existential. Let go, and move closer to existence in silence and peace, in meditation. And one day u will see u are so full - overfull, overflowing -- of joy, of blissfulness, of benediction. U have so much of it that u can give it to the whole world and yet it will not be exhausted.
That day, for the first time u will not feel any greed - for money, for food, for things, for anything.
U will live naturally and whatever is needed u will find it.

Soul
Met J and I know I was not attracted to him and I didn't encourage him. The old me would have activated whole sort of mental drama, convincing myself that I m attracted. The new me now said if the mutual attraction is not there, need not pursue. So no tots on this.

Amen.
Well, this week a start of not needing coffee for comfort. Today a start of not needing food for comfort.