Parental mode pushes people down as they can't pull themselves up

Nov 7
Body woke up around 3 plus. I doze a bit till alarm rang at 4.10 am.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya followed by asanas. It was fine, despite the short break. Did a quick Shavasana followed by breathing session. It was nice and I did for a long while.

Shakti was great. Full focus on Kapala Bhakti. Others also ok. Towards the end head was shaking non stop.
Shambavi was good.
There were little tots of past and even that I told myself it is past and let it be. Moments later the tots evaporate.
Towards the end sitting contently in arashidharna posture. So nice. Took a long while too.

As I was driving a calmness pervades me. A tot came on yesterday conversation where A said some yoga teacher was condemning Isha. I told A that's because she can't pull her yoga up so got to pull others down. It would be too much to think that she followed the wrong yoga or her type of yoga not transformative. So better and easier to pull down others.

Suddenly it occur to me that's what S does; pulling me down. I used to feel so judged as if I m worthless in her eyes. I broke away cos I no longer believe her judgement as people who shout the loudest are not gospel truth. And I blocked her cos I no longer need to keep receiving her verbal abuse.

Now I know that she cannot handle leadership role, I can see why she pushes me down as she can't push herself up. She always said she don't mind not having senior position  but in truth she cannot make it.

This was the same with L. Maybe with P too. These parental mode normally claims that they don't need appreciation but actually they do.

Adhyatma Upanishad
Ur body is clay and ur mind is clay too. The emptiness, the void between these two is ur soul - nothing has ever reached there.
To have known this is to go beyond all disturbances. All disturbances are of the body and the mind, not of u. But whatsoever the clay has absorbed, the clay will have to live it.
Enlightenment brings the experience that one is not the doer, but it does not destroy past actions. Whatever has been done will come to fruition.

Soul
Another reminder to let things flow.