Sadhana now become my way of life

Nov 23

Woke up 6.40 am but nice time to sleep so change alarm to 7.15 am. When alarm rang, don't feel like waking up cos yesterday was working and coming back stuck in traffic jam for two and half hour. Decided to give myself a break. Slept back until I want to wake up. Woke up 8.10 am. Took a quick shower and tot to do only Shakti cos want to go swimming.
When I sat for guru pooja, suddenly wanted to do Surya kriya and I knew that I want to stay in and finished all my practices instead of going to the pool. So did 5 cycle of Surya kriya, the third to fifth cycle was quite effortless. Did a long breathing, it was okay. Did a good Shakti with breathe watching. I was laughing loads in the end. Shambavi pales in comparison. Towards the end, good plough back. Just contentment.
There were two or three tots of past and I m able to catch it immediately and said new leaves. Old memories gone.

Soul
Something changed in me. Saw that M was bit down. The old me would want to make her  up, validating myself. The new me sees that as trying to give love so that I can be loved. So, just let the tot go. I no longer need to validate my existence. I no longer need to give love to get love.