Sun in Cancer - dysfunctional in expression of personality and identity

Nov 5 afternoon 1
Sun in Cancer in 1st house -- Gargatholil                
This is a strong placement for the Sun, indicating considerable focus on your self-identity. Both the Sun and the first house are associated with identity—who you feel you are.  Normally, this placement suggests that you have a strong personality.
You radiate and project a strong personality, but without the burden of ego.  You are calm and certain in your self-identity.

Soul
True. Others always sees me as confident without being overpowering.
Others are normally comfortable in my presence.
I made strangers feel welcome.

Sun in Cancer in 1st house -- Gargatholil        
Insecurity
Your inner Self knows the illusion of ego, but because your ego is unwilling to face this knowledge, your subconscious must protect your ego from discovering the illusion.  The most common method is simply to foster a strong identification of self and ego. 
Those with Sun in the first house are vulnerable to two extremes if the psyche is unbalanced.  At one extreme, you may have an overabundance of ego or self-interest resulting in you being too concerned with yourself.  If this energy is introverted, you will be self-absorbed.  If the energy is extroverted, you may manifest your personality too much. 
At the other extreme, you may suffer from a severe lack of self-esteem.  In this case, it is the identity and the ego which are problematic for you.
You do not know how to express your personality and identity in a healthy manner.  The resulting personality is dysfunctional.  Alternatively, working out this problem may become a life-goal.  If this is the case, a more complete self will be the result.

Soul
True..especially in romantic and personal relationships.

Sun in Cancer in 1st house -- Gargatholil
Focus of Your Self-Identity
This placement denotes a strong focus on self-identity. A central question, faced consciously or unconsciously by you are, Who am I?  Throughout your life, you are likely to deal with issues involving the place of self, the meaning of identity and the development of persona.
Your personality may also express undertones of Sun-in-Aries.

Soul
True...confirmed we both want our own way.
Like Sadhguru says he doesn't want to be exploited by me.
I can say that he resisted change..but he was just resisting me.
I can say that change was good for him..but then change may be good for me too.
Anyway, no regrets on the whole relationship.
Both beginning and ending has made me whole.
I am now ready for the next phase of my life.
I am more whole.
When I wrote this..it hit me...
I never feel whole before...

This week Internal influence card
Possibilities
The eagle has an overview of all the possibilities contained in the landscape below, as he flies freely, naturally and effortlessly through the sky. He is really in his domain, very grand and self-contained. 

This card indicates that you are at a point where a world of possibilities is open to you. Because you have grown more loving towards yourself, more self-contained, you can work easily with others. Because you are relaxed and at ease, you can recognize possibilities as they present themselves, sometimes even before others can see them. Because you are in tune with your own nature, you understand that existence is providing you with exactly what you need. 

Enjoy the flight! And celebrate all the varied wonders of the landscape spread before you.

Soul
A few days ago, I tot how can it be.
But I am now feeling it especially Resolution card is over.

Resolution
Thunderbolt
You might be feeling pretty shaky right now, as if the earth is rocking beneath your feet. Your sense of security is being challenged, and the natural tendency is to try to hold on to whatever you can. But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important - if you allow it, you will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences. 

After the fire, the earth is replenished; after the storm the air is clear. Try to watch the destruction with detachment, almost as if it were happening to somebody else. Say yes to the process by meeting it halfway.

Soul
Yea..I was brought to the place where Z and wife is.
Overwhelming sadness came...but it went off after a few hours.
The next day I was fine.
And I become better day after day.
It was a closure that is required.
Father, I was brought to many 'places' for the required closure.
First the golf resort, then the purification meditation and now his wife's place and where their relationships blossom.
I also deleted his wife contact.
Finally ended...
I need not even be their friends...so great..