My Projection on friendship with P finally ended

Dec 17 aft

This week Osho
The Issue
Burden
When we carry a load of shoulds and shouldn'ts imposed on us by others we become like this ragged, struggling figure trying to make his way uphill. "Go faster, try harder, reach the top!" shouts the foolish tyrant he carries on his shoulder, while the tyrant himself is crowned with an imperious rooster. If life these days feels like just a struggle from the cradle to the grave, it could be time to shrug your shoulders and see what it feels like to walk without these characters on your back. You have your own mountains to conquer, your own dreams to fulfill, but you will never have the energy to pursue them until you release yourself from all the expectations you've gathered from others but now think are your own. Chances are they exist only in your own mind, but that doesn't mean they can't weigh you down. It's time to lighten up, and send them on their way.

2. Internal influence
Moment to moment
The past is no more and the future is not yet: both are unnecessarily moving in directions which don't exist. One used to exist, but no longer exists, and one has not even started to exist. The only right person is one who lives moment to moment, whose arrow is directed to the moment, who is always here and now; wherever he is, his whole consciousness, his whole being, is involved in the reality of here and in the reality of now.


The Rebel
The powerful and authoritative figure in this card is clearly the master of his own destiny. On his shoulder is an emblem of the sun, and the torch he holds in his right hand symbolizes the light of his own hard-won truth. 

Whether he is wealthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colors of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky. His very way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it. The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky. 

The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.

4. Whats needed for resolution?
Projetion
The man and woman in this card are facing each other, yet they are not able to see each other clearly. Each is projecting an image they have constructed in their minds, covering the real face of the person they are looking at. All of us can get caught up in projecting movies of our own making onto the situations and people surrounding us. It happens when we are not fully aware of our own expectations, desires and judgments; instead of taking responsibility for them and owning them, we try to attribute them to others. A projection can be devilish or divine, disturbing or comforting, but it is a projection nonetheless--a cloud that prevents us from seeing reality as it is. The only way out is to recognize the game. When you find a judgment arising about another, turn it around: Does what you see in others really belong to you? Is your vision clear, or clouded by what you want to see?

Soul
This is me projecting into P.
I got hurt because I tot P also sees me as her close friend, sharing everything, being kind.
Not only that she doesn't see me as a close friend, her love language is also the opposite of mine.
So, now letting go of my projections.

Resolution
The Dream
 "We come alone into this world, we go alone." All togetherness is illusory. The very idea of togetherness arises because we are alone, and the aloneness hurts. We want to drown our aloneness in relationship....

The source is that you are afraid of your aloneness. Everything else is just an excuse. The real cause is that you find yourself very alone.
Soul
Yes..I was afraid to let go of P cos cos she was my hold on local Isha.
Alas, I too got to let her go.
This year Nine of Clubs really true.

Pluto in Ruling
Queen of Spades
Somehow connected to ur result card you are attempting to develop a sense of mastery from within, a greater level of organisational ability or both. Self mastery comes from inner knowledge and self control. It is knowing u can have everything u want, not by changing the world but by changing yourself.
U will have to work hard this year and possibly doing work that u find somewhat distasteful.  Spades are work and the Queen using her work as karma yoga, a tool to purify her tots and emotions.
This is the goal u have set for urself and u must have good reason for why u want this. Keep this uppermost in ur mind as u progress through the year. U will no doubt have to make changes within and outside of urself  to achieve this goal.

Affirmation
I develop my capacity to transform my life by changing my beliefs, ideas, and concepts of the world. I become the master of myself.

Result in Ruling
Nine of Clubs
Much of ur challenges is to let go of outworn ideas, projects, plans or way of communicating. This is a year of completion that may at times seem like disappointing endings.
The Nine of Clubs says that u are completing a major chapter in ur life and it is time to move on to greener pastures.
Be open to spiritual wisdom in all forms, as this will help make change easier.

Affirmation
I complete projects this year and let go of the past. I broaden my understanding by releasing old ways of thinking.