Nine of Clubs

Nov 20 eve 2

Father, it took me a long time but I finally realised I don't relish working with P. She is good if she is the support. She can either Lead or Follow. She not a collaborator.
Me, I can lead and collaborate. But difficult to be follower.

As for volunteering. It's not for me. That's not my path. Why am I helping HataYoga??

Mmm. Let's mull over.

I just know the tot of being back in Local ISHA gives me the shivers. I truly don't want to go back. Let's not go back just because it is easier to promote through them.

Father, yea I dread to receive call from P. Its true I don't like to be criticised especially when I don't feel I m doing anything wrong. Mmm I m just a sensitive feeler. I can't work with P, an autocratic. Now understand what C meant when she said she can't work with P. I too am sensitive feeler.

I m so freed after being out of local Isha coordination team. Truly don't want to go back. Tot of being back gives me the creep. This is the same creep when they ask me to go back to work for sister company. Same creep as going back to 5 days work.

Father, what I had with P was false harmony. Alas I can now admit it. Previously eventhough I was hurt I kept inside cos I don't want to lose a committed volunteer. I can do what she does. I don't even want to do what she does. Now I understand what it meant by me doing emotional - manipulation.

I think she too was angry with me for sometimes. Just like me she forced herself to work with me. Alas its out in the open. We can't work together. I also don't want to be core volunteer. Not even sure on volunteering itself. To me I m just a freelancer. I give when I want to.

So that's decided. I can't go back into Local Isha, can just be a freelancer

Result in Ruling
Nine of Clubs
Much of ur challenges is to let go of outworn ideas, projects, plans or way of communicating. This is a year of completion that may at times seem like disappointing endings.
The Nine of Clubs says that u are completing a major chapter in ur life and it is time to move on to greener pastures.
Be open to spiritual wisdom in all forms, as this will help make change easier.

Affirmation
I complete projects this year and let go of the past. I broaden my understanding by releasing old ways of thinking.




Dec 3
Just did a training on my behavourial profile at work.
Yes, confirmed I too am Like P, a power person.
Need power cos I believed in having Sole Responsibility.
Also confirmed that my approach to work is Concept, Structure and then Use.
Hence thats me being the Thinker...not the doer.
I also don't like to 'Use'...
I am a Breadth and not Depth person, hence my dislike for detailed work.
So, all these confirmed I am right in my decision.
It also made me realised that just as I rightly perceive P into power, the same mirror is in me.
We are both the same..thats all.