Accept both sadness and laughter

Father, yea I wld send d letters. It may break up d rship but its a goner cos I haven't been real with her for a long long time. And it is not a real rship when one party can't be truthful.
I feel much at ease now.

Of cos part of me is worried that I m prepared to possibly end a rship that has been around for more than 10 years, that has given me some spiritual guidance. But part of me also knew that while I have grown, I haven't share wit her my growth and so the rship hasn't been real for the last few years. And it has escalated that she still thinks that we r in square 1.
Its bit scary but after this, I don't know how else that I can open up. I hope the email will open her eyes to who I am n hopefully we can start afresh cos the old rship is dead.
Its ironic, but today topic on Osho is about death. And I now facing a death of old rship.

Osho
Be quick, open the window to the west, don't miss this beauty of the sunset. You have seen the beauty of a rising sun, now dance with the setting sun.
You have lived ur life, now live with ur death.
The meeting point of love and death is the experience of God. And it take courage to experience Him.
God is love from one side and death from the other.
Christianity has taken the love side and Buddha has taken the death side. Christianity takes the positive side and Buddha takes the negative.
Christianity says yes; Buddha says no
Why choose? Let death and love meet.
God is both, yes/no and yet beyond - he cannot be confined in the yes, and he cannot be confined in the no.

Soul
Yeap, that is why I couldn't take both. I couldn take that Christianity don't wan to deal with despair n anger and etc. Buddha too hopeless.

When I went into meditation, I can alternate between laughter and tears. And once I experienced both, such feeling of peace comes over me.

This also hav the same msg as what I told my close friend. Let me be sad and depressed and happy & arrogant. Both are me and I have finally accepted both. I can't continue with a rship that neither accept my sadness nor my happiness.

Osho
Why Christ and Buddha chosen?
Because if u don't choose, u look very illogical. God, both love and death? - it looks absurd, it does not fit with our categories of thinking. God, both light and darkness? God, both creative and destructive? God, both good and evil - it doesn't fit. Because it doesn't fit, we create the devil.

Ur teeth are ur condensed violence. When u cannot use them, the only way available for a civilised man is to go on eating, go on stuffing. A creative person is a never an over-eater.

Soul - whenever m disturbed, I noticed I tend to find food. Perhaps during the weekend, no work to occupy me, the disturbance arise and I look for food.
The difference is now I nap abt 3 hours plus on both Sat and Sunday, so my food intake is less. Mmmm

Osho
How to stop eating.
Unless u become creative, u cannot stop it.
Unless ur energies become creative, u will remain in it; u will go on stuffing urself.

Osho
Just at the innermost of ur being, there is a lotus of consciousness, full of juice of immortality. Near ur breastbone, there is an open flower. But that flower can be experienced only when love and death are experienced together - otherwise not. That flower blooms only when love gives it nourishment and death showers it like rain.
When love and death both enter into the flower, it opens - otherwise not.
The perfect flowering of a human consciousness is of love and death.

In this very ordinary body, the extraordinary happens. Just allow love and death together, and waves start coming in, waves from the beyond.

And this very body becomes a dance, a vibration, a steaming energy, a pulsation. Then it breathes in the divine, then it beats in the divine. Then this very body is transformed. This very body the buddha.

The Guest I love is inside me.

Soul - this is what I have experienced. Amen