Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Whatever life demands of u - accept

Oct 4
Father, really not sure of d sathsang. I don't wan to do it anymore. I m ok at promoting isha, but not be a teacher. Cos I don't wan to follow thru n thru and m not. I felt restrained, burdened if I hav to follow. I wan to pull out. The meditators can handle it on their own.

Its true, I hav some meditative experience n I can guide people in, but m not isha conquest. I only used it as a tool. Now people know, I think there is expectation or rather I wld hav expectation.
Suddenly tot of reading Sadhguru

Sadhguru
Wherever u r put, u just do the work. This releases u from the fruit of action n once u r released from the fruit of action, the action will happen by itself.
By closing ur eyes, u will not become released. The moment u open them, everything will come back. If u run away and sit on the mountain, u will not become free. This is d way to work it out. It has to be worked out.
Whatever life demands, u do. Acceptance, acceptance.

Soul - d truth is I know I may fail, cos already I don't fulfill d pre-requisite. And at least now m jus a normal meditator with experience but not volunteering. If I do sathsang, I will open myself up for failure. That's it, I don't wan to do something I know I can fail. I don't wan to open myself up for failure.
An alternative tot came, the current Sathsang leader did it n she is not great. I admit I don't hav her fortitude, but I will bring joy into sathsang, I wil change d mode. My teacher must hav select me cos she think I can and I know I can.

No comments:

Post a Comment