Joyful expectation during meditation

Sept 17
Mmm, yday on d sharing at Isha preview, was feeling disturbed. It was d ego pushin me to be special. Thank God, d timing not enough and I don't have to share. Cousin also didn't show up after so many years.

Saw my ex-colleague/staff yday after so many years. She looks old n tired. Yea, she is ready as she looks at the end. When Teacher said d range from 5 yrs till now, most people become less happy n she said not for her. I look at her n ask what happen when she was 5. Most people are not as happy now as compared to a child.

I shared wit he abt the inner n outer finally match n I no longer push myself to meet deadline. She was surprised that my inner n outer is different cos I am always in control and smiling. She said I hide very well. I told her that its not hiding, I didn't even realise the inner was different. Other shared abt gaining control and there was a lady who shared abt not having guilt n don't need to be in charge/responsible for everyone n she felt so liberated. That's my sentiment exactly.
My poor results n wonder if its me. Teacher said it took her 1 year to join Isha. She said if ur not knocked up, u won't be ready.

Coming back to my left shoulder. It is lesser stiff in d morning. Wil see n I think that my energy wil channel it cos I m now doing Suria Namaskara.

Expect a miracle
Having negative expectations in our minds is like putting up a wall that keeps love away.
A miracle is a shift in consciousness, a jump to a higher level. Somewhere in us, though, we have to make the decision to change our energy on a core level. Change the energy and the experiences change.
Once we learn to see through the eyes of our higher selves, we come from loving place rather than a fearful one. Wit that problems are magically transcended and people just show up differently.
Becos we r not limited by our fear, our rship are not dictated by our old negative assumptions. We become fertile ground for the miracle of love to take root.
It takes work to be quiet, to do nothing and allow the miracle to unfold. This posture goes against everything we have been taught and unlearning it requires patience.
No one starts out being perfectly open and available for spiritual match; it takes commitment, faith and joyful expectation.

Soul - that the way I approach my meditation journey. Yday was thinking that perhaps for sathsang, we cld share the Lead role. Someone can start with the chanting and my role is to prepare n lead them to joyful meditation. So, I will do the preparation and they can then start the meditation. Then I will ask for sharing of experience first. Then d leader can jus inform the respective person whose steps are too out.

Expect a miracle
In order to get to the place where we are always choosing love, we have to learn to surrender our tenacious will and through prayer and meditation, ask the spirit of Grace to help us.
Once we recognise that what we are doing is ineffective, it only make sens that we would make a conscious choice to do things differently.

Soul - yeap, its becos of this recognition, I joined meditation, something which I tot I can't do. And I also know that I need help in rshp. I can't attract and I can't hold and I can't commit. I guess its becos I don't wan to and becos I tot I can't and its becos I expect failure. Its becos I tot that God wan me to be alone cos m strong, jus like in office, m strong n don't need protection. But that's not really true, its right m strong and I don't need protection but I do need loving support.
When I do attract, if its a good match, I says its not real and if it not a good match, I say why me.

Expect a miracle
Its hard to trust that things will unfold perfectly for us if we can't see how they are going to unfold. But if what you've been doing hasn't been working, isn't it worth trying to surrender, to relax and assume that the Universe is at work, making it all come together for u.
I guarantee u, once u get your desperate hold on things out of the way, everything will come ur way.
"Let go and let God"
The great paradox here is that the less we get involved in trying to make a rship happen, the better able we are to allow one to enter.

Soul - the bamboo house- I have wished for it daily n even did the wish prayer. But I stil not sure. So, have to let it be.

Expect a miracle
Look for faults and that's all you see.
See the perfection in ur fellow human and perfection will appear before u.
The kind of person that we want to meet won't materialise (or certainly won't call us if they did) if we are not embodying the very same loving qualities that we seek.
Surrender also means letting go of the past so that it doesn't torment us, and in turn we are freed of any limited idea of what the future will being.
The thing abt surrender is that when we don't do it voluntarily, life will progressively nudge (or sometimes just all-out shove) us toward embracing it anyway.
Disease, challenging situation/boss, weakness will come along and force us to our knees so that we have no choice but to move aside and let a greater force take over.
Surely we don't need to bottom up in such painful way to recognise how important it is to let go of being in control and surrender

Soul - I did.