Arrogance may be good

This mornin feeling lazy n didn wan to wake up. Tot of my Close friend sayin my meditation is a crutch, an escape. If it is an escape, u think I have to discipline myself to wake up.
Then another tot came, why shld I let Close friend decide on my meditation progress. So I woke up n did my meditation.

When I was doing Suria n Shakti, still have tot of Close friend's validation of rship n I also tot of SL's validation of rship. Both of these friends, on surface the former seems to gain friends easily n so tot to be not bothered abt fship n the latter can’t gain friends and said not bother. In the end, both of them are really bothered abt rship.

For me, fship has never validated me n hence I let fship go n I also terminate fship if found them not growing. When I rec 9 of heart, ending of rship that no longer do me good. Well, perhaps SL is one and now second is close friend.
As for PA, I didn't wan the rship, so why I hav to continue.

Alas, I have come a full circle n m glad.

Also she saying m arrogant abt not bother abt office; its the same arrogance of her not bother abt money. So, if she thinks my arrogance is no good, what abt hers wit money.

The thing is I have never give my opinion on her progress, which is little n yet she see that she has to give her opinion on me.

Aiyah, m disturbed. The truth is I hav never been forthright on my view of her. Firstly, cos she used to be d big sister. Everytime I started something without her, she wld give me a put downer. Very disappointing. Anyway, I used to seek her approval but now after knowing where is her judgement from, I no longer care. Again, perhaps she wld say m 'hard' so be it.
I used to be hard but soft inside but now its real hard.
I used to be happy but sad inside but now its happiness all the way.
I used to be confident at work but avoided my weakness and now I hav overcome n m confident.

I only wish tat I be upfront wit her.