Ego is bullshit

This mornin my ego again push for Budget margin - to adjust to 16 percent.
Then a tot came, why? Final Budget is supposed to be realistic.
Then I remember my Regional CFO’s comment, “this is not a number game”
Again ego stil persist. Then I remember there is still other expenses not inc yet.
So, if CEO doesn't like the realistic budget, so be it.

Yea, must be vigilant abt my ego always threatening. Me, now I realised that while CEO is generally threatening, I m seeing double impact cause I was already doing it to myself.

Ayah, both close friends not keen in joining me for meditation. But then, so far in my 12 yrs journey, they hav never ask to read any of my books. So, it is surprise that they not keen. D thing is so far, I never asked them before? Of cos, ego said they can't see improvement in u, so why wan to join??? Nevermind lah.


Osho
Query by disciple
To be spiritual, at first great effort is needed, but there comes a point where effort ceases. Then one reaches the limit of one's effort, further pushing to open door is futile. Then one day, one steps back and the door open on its own accord.

Correction by Osho
The point whereby further pushing is impossible, is not a decision to be made by u. If u were to decide, that means the peak is still far away. It is not u to decide further pushing is futile.

The peak is reached, when u simply fall down after giving ur all. You have put in all that u had and there is no more left. You simply collapse.
If u hav reached ur peak, u cannot step back either cos if u can step back, u can step forward. If u hav reached ur peak, u collapse and all going simple disappear

The door is alreay open, it is never been closed but because u were pushing, your push was creating the closedness of the door. Your effort to attain was preventing you; your desire to reach was the barrier.

Now, in this state of collapse, u open ur eyes and there is no longer any desires. Suddenly, your eyes have clarity. Now there is no desire to achieve anything; nothing is left, you are simply spent.
When u open ur eyes in this state, ur eyes are clear. It is a rebirth; you are born again. Your eyes have a luminosity they never had; u can simply see the door is not closed.

Soul - that's how I have been feeling this week. And it was tested yday when I didn't offer to help with Budget n when I wasn't afraid to say 'no' to the boss. I don't feel like exerting myself, stretching myself, putting risk, creating burden on myself. I don't feel the need to be the Problem solver of other people issue.
I was happy I dint take on d unnecessary burden. When I observed my eyes, I can see it corner ends was lifted up and my eyes become rounder and there is shine.

Osho
Infact the door exists not. You were creating it. Your pushing, ur effort, was really an effort to prove yourself. All efforts prove only one thing; the ego. They don't prove anything else. Effort means the ego is trying to prove itself, to prove to the world that "I am somebody'
And when "I" exists, God becomes absent. Because u r too full of the "I", you cannot see God. You are blind

Soul
My ego real culprit. For the past 1 year, its been resisting on the spiritual path, give me so many 'No' and now that I have finally cleared all the hurdles n doubt gone and on track. The ego now want to push me on massive promoting Isha. A complete turn around. It doesn't have a stand, no principle at all. It jus wan to "push" and "push", just can't let me have peace.

Previously it said if I go spiritual, I will lose my edge, I won't have money, I will all I have built and I will lose me, lost my food. Its only when I don't mind losing n got into clearing the hurdles. And now ego said by being spiritual, I can be well known, I can get attention, I can get appreciation. Even went to the extent of saying, I can be the one who changed the dynamics of Isha from pure Indian to mutli race. Can do better than Singaporean's pure indian
So bull shit. So politician. Everything can be turn to its manipulation. So like a maniac.

Thank God Sadhguru answered my prayer - there is no guide to do promotion. He just didn't answer.
I now knew why I met so many ego maniac, I am one too J
1. Ex boss No.1
2. Ex boss No.2
3. Current boss
4. Current boss PA
5. Old friend who started the journey with me.

All these ego maniacs is the mirror of me.
I finally see the mechanics of my politician mind. It is so self righteous, so full of itself. No principle, no stand. Jus wan to be somebody, good or bad doesn't matter, just want to excel, jus fearful that it is no more, to ensure "I" stay highlighted at all costs.

Osho
When "I" is no more there, u r spent, finished. When u can see; God is present. And then one sees that God has always been present - there was no need to ever go anywhere to find him. Only He is. He is.

All search for enlightenment is for the ego. You cannot search for enlightenment - the search creates the seeker and the seeker is the barrier. The search goes on creating you more and more.

Searching means desire and desire is of the world. You cannot desire God. God happens only when there is no desire, so to desire God is a contradiction in terms.
You cannot desire enlightenment. Cos enlightenment happens when there is no desire left.

One can only understand desire. In understanding desire, the desire disappears.
One can then sees the stupidity of desires, the illusoriness of desires
One sees how the desires creates tension, anxieties, how the desire creates madness.
Seeing it - just seeing it in its totality and its madness - is getting rid of it.
It not getting rid of the one desire, cos there wil be again be another desire.
When one can see desires leads nowhere, one simply ceases to desires. And in that moment, that cessation of desire, enlightenment happens'.
When desiring ceases, the other world opens up. The other world is hidden in this world. But because your eyes are full of desires, full of ego, you cannot see it.


Soul - not sure abt that. But I can now see the politician mind mechanics and will be aware. But decision is not to be taken for a ride again by the mind. It is enough.

Osho
Enlightenment is not like a treasure hidden somewhere that u hav to search for. It is already given, u need not go anywhere for it.
Enlightenment is not in the future. It is here and now. If u become too much interested in the future, u start to lose contact with life, you start losing interest in life.

Enlightenment comes and go becos u hav not created a meditative space for it.
If u have created a meditative space inside u, that meditative space will be able to contain it. That's what meditation is all about. Enlightenment comes to everybody - but you have so many holes in ur being, it flows out, it simply leaks out.
You r not courageous enough to accept the fact that u r enlighten, because u don't respect urself. You have been taught by so called religious people to condemn urself. You cannot accept that enlightenment can happen to u. You have not loved yourself.
Enlightenment comes to everybody, all and sundry from saints to sinners.
Enlightenment has no condition for arising. Enlightenment arise in you like a wave, then it relapses back because you don't have the space to contain it
Be meditative and you will be able to contain that moment for longer periods. And when u r totally meditative - totally thoughtless.
It is thoughts that functions as a hole in your being - and you have so many thoughts, so you have so many holes. So, the leakage is very fast, unable to contain the wave of enlightenment.

Soul
Tq, I was wondering how come I fall back. I was enlighten for whole day yday. I tot how can last 1 day only. It was a fluke. It is not a fluke. I jus need to contain it. It has leaked out.
I thanked God for giving me the answer so quickly, I cried with thankfulness. From now onwards, I know You are always here with me.

Osho
Meditation is not a search for enlightenment; enlightenment comes without any search. Meditation is just growing wings, creating a space inside you so that when the guest comes, you can pursuade the guest to live inside you and become the host.