A Master is a door

Osho
A disciple knows no relationship with the master, he is simply one with the master.
A master is a door, a master is a gesture of the unknown, a master is a beckoning light - but not a person at all. An open door, an invitation to the divine - but not a person at all.

U r not supposed to surrender to the master. If u do it, it will be conditioning and u will miss the whole point.
Surrender happens; u find urself surrendering to the presence rather than person.

Soul - yeap. That's how I approach Sadhguru. He is a presence, a possibility and since I don't know him, there is not even a rship. I open myself up to his techniques. And when I surrender, I know I surrender to the possibility of techniques (me opening up to Universe) rather than surrender to Sadhguru. That's why I don't have the need to see him in person.

Osho
Surrender is happening. The disciple simply finds he is melting, he is disappearing. His boundaries are getting blurred, he is becoming cloudy - malleable. Great courage is needed.
Surrender cannot be done. It is whether u r open to allow it to happen whenever u find a presence of the divine on the earth.

Soul - that's exactly what happen. Surrender or experience of divine happens whenever I open to allow it. At times I receive knocks to open. But it is still me who open the door to me.

Osho
The master is not an authority. He merely points the way. If u cling to the finger, then it is ur problem, then u need to depend.
Authority is created by the need to depend. Tha master is not authoritative, but the disciple may be in search of authroty - then he will create the authority.
You can create an authority anywhere - ur parents, spouse or even a book (bible), even a person who goes on denying authority.

Soul - now I understand why so many people revered him. Cos in general 80 percent of people were raised on authority.

Osho
A master hits u hard to make u aware. Then ur awareness will do everything. He simply helps u to come out of ur sleep.

A real master does not mould u. He does not put an end to the question but he puts an end to u. He kills u. He kills u so that u can be that which u r destined to be.

Soul - so true. This is good especially since I just agreed to be trained for Sathsang leader.

Osho.
Understanding is a totally different phenomenon than knowledge.
Understanding transforms your being - in understanding, ur question is finished.
Understanding is depth. Knowledge is shallowness.

Knowledge can be quantified - more or less, u can accumulate knowledge. But understanding is simply understanding. Understanding arises from no-mind
Knowledge is accumulated in the mind, it is the mind trying to be clever. And this mind can befool u immensely.
After years of accumulation of knowledge, they r still the same. Nothing has changed, their being has not been touched by it.
There is no pain, no growth n of course no surrendering. This made the ego more and more subtle and feels very secure.
Joy is not there. Playfulness is not there.

Soul - tell me bat it. I was gathering knowledge until mid last year I said enough, my mind is shitty n the more I accumulate, it still doesn't change me. It didn't make me more happy, it just made me know why I m not happy.

On d budget or rather the biz issue. Let me accept that it is beyond my power. Let me not be fearful n want to seek acceptance. Amen.

I don't want to sell myself again. The buck stops here. I no longer need to meet impossible CEO expectation. This is my past attraction.
If she wants to threaten me, I may have to leave. I will take a break n start work next year. My saving can last me 10 mths, I will perhaps be part time recruiter.
Or perhaps since next year is bad, can nego for part time FD role.


Mmm, suddenly I tot of being Life Coach or a counsellor. Yea, I can also get a Diploma n find a counsellor job abt 4k n meanwhile freelance as Recruiter and Life Coach which can get me 1k.
The sky is the limit.

1. Counsellor
2. Recruiter
3. Life Coach
4. Isha Promoter

Suddenly a sense of quietness envelop me n tears start to well, the statement - This is ME. My heart starts to beat in excitement n fear n happy.

Osho
Internal u r not aware - Creativity
From the alchemy of fire and water below to the divine light entering from the above, the figure is literally possessed by the creative force. Really, the experience of creativity is an entry into the mysterious. Technique, expertise and knowledge are just tools; the key is to abandon oneself to the energy that fuels the birth of all things.
The important thing is to be open to what wants to be expressed through u. Remember that we don't possess our creations, they don't belong to us. True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.

Soul - lookin at the pix, I am reminded of the blazing light I saw during meditation yday.
And now suddenly what I want to do is clear. I do want a few things but all are related to dealing with people. Helping them psychologically and spiritually. Helping others to be who they meant to be.

I know I won't gp into psychology cos that is too specialist n the fee is too much. I can do Diploma in Counselling and start from there.

I used to have doubts cos I want variety but everything is linked. And I used to fear counselling cos I tires easily. Actually is becos I spend all energy at work n stil counsel - double impact n there is no release.

Now, I remove energy from work n got meditation, I will be fine. Helping people to be who they really are is My Calling.

Osho card - Rebirth - Finally the child emerges, innocent and spontaneous and true to his own being.

Compromise. Don't be clever, otherwise you will remain the same, u will not change. Compromise is dangerous n confuse u even more. Compromise may be a way of not going in either direction, Don't compromise on ur own truth.

Soul - I have been compromising. Wanting to stay in work n helping others. Tot helping others won't give me money for security. But alas I can settle my loan and get RM4k job.
CEO was my mirror. I didn't want to let go just like she didn't want to let go. So is Anne, so is MA.

Schizophrenia
Getting stuck in the indecisive and dualistic aspect of the mind. Whatever decision we make, we will always wonder if we shld have decided the other way. The only way out of this dilemma is, unfortunately, to let go of both arms at once. You can't work your way out by solving it, making lists of pros and cons, or in any way working it out with your mind. Better to follow ur heart, if u can find it.
If you can't , just jump - your heart will start beating so fast that there will be no mistake abt where it is.

Father, Amen.
A voice ask if I m looking for escape. Father, guide me.

Jus read email, Mala n Sehar is shifting out to China. So they need someone to take charge of Sathsang. Teacher wrote to us, asking us to be the Lead in Sathsang and I agreed. I jumped in but only if don't have to be vegetarian n I can use my blackberry. That is funny, right!!

Father, U give me whatever I need. I jus fulfilled one of my role - Isha Promoter!