Ego stil ticking

Sept 22

Yday while turning in d middle of nite cos left hand shoulder was stiff, I asked why? And the answer was, I turned cos looking for my partner.
Jus done wit watching d korean drama. The guy is all defensive cos he likes d gal and tot d gal doesn't like him n hates himself for liking her.
When d guy was piggy ride her n finally encounter d gal's potential boy. I felt for him n tot that of him not wanting to let go n continue to carry her.

Jus now my ego tot of me judging close friend n then of my email to her. The ego said my email seems to push it n close friend wld react n rail against me. Aiyah, no lah. The email was a concilliatory note.

Jus tot of my defensiveness. My ego wans to be in control and whenever m in rship, I m not in control and then I got hurt and ego reminding me not to go thru the turmoil again.

Again, my mind come up. Father, I am all shambled up. Using mind for everything and when its time to use mind, I shut down. I admit part of me still think m not ready. Even now, after got the sathsang leadership, m thinkin I won't be doing it. I don't know anymore. I used to take pride I m in control and now its like I m real havoc. M losing confidence but on d hand with Shakti, I know d tool is there to balance everything within.
Father, let me change my defensiveness into openness.

Expect a miracle
Mantra - I am in utter synchronicity wit life's highest possibilities

If you are not using your core energy with the intention of shifting your potential, u r passively directing all your creative output to the old habitual stuff.

Our tots, our focus, have to go somewhere, so if we don't consciously bring them to the image we wish to manifest! All that energy will go right into making reappear the scenarios we so wanted to leave behind.

One way or the other, our attention supports and grows whatever it focuses on, so now is the time to really decide on and make happen the vision of your perfect mate.

Soul - mmm, no wonder. I have been listless.