Releasing guillt

Sept 30 Afternoon

Jus finished shoonya, had a good cry cos feeling guilty over my cousin. Glad my sis was there to accompany her to the new 'house' in the final resting place.

Jus now when checking for 7thunder card, saw my 52 days cards as 9 of heart, death of personal rship card. I have been wondering what is it due to, even tot of me n P, but we make up. Alas, is cousin's death and also the tot of the Funeral parlour. The 2 signs I have missed cos I was focusing inward instead of outward.


Osho card
1. The issue - Healing
Be aware of ur wound. Don't help it to grow, let it be healed. Live a headless life. The aura around his body is full of light, and the quality of relaxation, caring and love that surrounds him is dissolving his struggle and suffering.
When we rec this card, it means that we r no longer hiding from ourselves or others. In this attitude of openness and acceptance, we can be healed, and help others also to be healthy and whole.

Soul - well, I have opened up my yoga meditation to my family.

2. Internal influence that u r unaware.
The miser.
Loosen ur grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.

Soul -not sure what is this. Only thing is sathsang, m thinking of playing a support role. Don't think m suitable for it as I don't prescribed to the general route of bhakti. And even if I do have access to the Energy, m also not displaying the norm behaviour of volunteering, being nice and etc. Worried that they have expectation of me, which I can't meet. Worried I may led them astray. I lost confidence, I lost my cousin.

3. External influence of which you are aware
Rebirth - a time of growth and change.

Soul - yeap, I know. A new Me is here. More whole, balanced.

4. What is needed for resolution.
Guilty
We all long to be better people - more loving, more aware, more true to ourselves. But when we punish ourselves for our failures by feeing guilty, we can get locked in a cycle of despair and hopelessness that robs us of all clarity about ourselves and the situations we encounter.

You are absolutely okay as u are, and it is absolutely natural to go astray from time to time. Just learn from it, move on, and use the lesson not to make the same mistake again.

Soul - a timely reminder for me to let go of my guilt of not 'acting' on my intuition and miss the 2 signs that I was given.

5. Resolution
Particpation.
Make participation your lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy. You could not have dreamed of a better universe.

You have an opportunity to participate with others now to make ur contribution to creating something greater and more beautiful than each of you could manage alone. Your participation will not only nourish you, but will also contribute something precious to the world.

Soul - not sure its correct. Remind me of my role of Sathsang leader and Isha promoters. I did participate in the funeral proceeding and it has been memorable for me and my family. I recall the final day, when I went into meditation involuntarily during the buddhist aum chanting. We were laughing so much...am glad. Wash away all the sorrows.
I told aunt that her daughter, my cousin must be in a good place, otherwise, we wouldn't be laughing like crazy on the final day.
Its her energy.
I also told her that for the past few days, I was meditating in the funeral room and I felt the energy was good. So, I asked her to rest easy.