Cosmic Reward - acceptance of ending (7) - in a good place

Aug 4

This morning I woke up and tot of Z. I was still holding on based on What IF. But there is NO What iF Now. There may be in future but NOT now. So, no point holding on. Also, I found myself having some attraction to E. I was attracted to his intelligence and we clicked. That's why I am able to complement him in nego. Also, I was attracted to his determination in getting what he want. He focuses on what he want. He is also a reader. And I can see he too likes being with me. We were paired for 3 times.

Mmm, I seem to be attracted to man who are focused and determined. I must learn to emulate such attributes. At least I am now focused on getting my time off and now need to focus on getting the website off ground.

Also tot of my partner, I deserved a better rship than what I had with Z. Honestly, our is an affair only. He never put his feeling into it. Throughout our affair and up till our breakout, he never called me. Always waiting for me to initiate. That's why I was amazed that he think we are still on despite our breakup.

And I was so sad that he said that we can now meet up as I am now able to control my feelings for him. And when I said no, he said why not as he can be with me till he got married. That drive the nail. I selectively avoid this when I tot of the What If. This nail down there is NO What If.

Father, today is NEW Beginning. I love myself and I am lovable and I want only loving relationship. My partner holds my hand, snuggle me, like to talk to me, is my friend.

Evening
Just now I was caught in a 3 hours massive jam and was involved in a minor accident. Amazingly, there is no change to my composure and my feet was not even tired.
And the accident was lovely. The motorbike guy just offered to handle everything. And he apologised, to which I replied its ok. Actually, I realised I was fine without apology. Mmmm, no wonder I never tot of apologising when I knocked into people's car.


4. What is needed?
Stress
The essential man know that I am not separate from the whole and there is no need to seek and search for any destiny on my own. God is doing. I can relax and be.

We create it ourselves, with the idea that without us, nothing will happen - especially in the way we want it to!

Soul
Not sure what it means. Stress, definitely in the training and now followed by bit of stress on Isha. And then followed by car accident

And today I said no to office meeting tomorrow cos I want to rest.


5. Resolution
Friendliness
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. The being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then u don't depend on others and u don't make others depend on u.