Faith is the light that shine darkness away (5)

Jul 20 Eve

Father, I finished watching TV and came back to my room. When I walked in, I suddenly tot of calling Z and asked about his business, then I felt a huge longing for Z. I felt my heart so heavy as if would break. I cried, and I am feeling slightly better now. Wow, is this how people feel when they are heart broken?

Just now earlier M said that I seem so happy despite break up.

Father, I called him and we chatted like normal. Within minutes, he immediately asked for our next meetup. I told him no, we r not going there. He said we can meet up as I have managed to control my feelings. I told him nope we r not going there. I told him I do miss him and I care but I don't want to go back there again. We just remains as friends.

Father, I am glad I called. While part of me is disappointed that he reiterated he will only be with me till he got married, the other part of me is glad that I got the final confirmation from him that he only wanted a fling and only that. And so, I was on track for breaking it up. I deserved a better relationship, someone that can give me fully. Amen.

I tot I was out of control, but I just follow and it is a good release as it has pent up for awhile.

And because I called, he further reaffirms that my decision to break up is on the right track. Now there is no more cloud of illusion to hold me back. I am finally set free for a better relationship. Amen.

Finally, I can affirm my lovability is not dependent on him. Him not loving me does not affect my lovability. I am a lovely person and I deserved to be loved fully. Amen.