I am supposed to move..but where? (9) - back to him

Aug 17
Yesterday the cough with phelgm was really bad and coupled with nose blocked. I didn't do my practice. But I am fine and alert.
Have been sending out instruction email and text non-stop.

Father, tot of Z. When I did my readings for 7thunder a month ago, I got Seven of Spades in my Pluto card in this year. I was wondering how could it be when he is already out of my life. At the most, I may have some tots of him when I see him but definitely won't be a challenge.
Looks like the card is true cos I am back with him.

Both of us wants each other. But this time we are treading with care. For me, I am going to remove the rship element and treat this as a deal. I won't be like last time, thinking we have a rship, missing him, calling him and etc. This time both of us will ensure feelings doesn't come in.

Aug 17 Eve
Father, still not sure what I am getting into. Only thing keeping me going is that this year he is my Pluto card. Of course, I have appetite to fulfill but am not sure if its worth of the price to pay.

I know why I am going into it. I don't know why Z wants to. I wonder why he thinks m worth his trouble especially he doesn't like drama in his life now. Or perhaps he just have need to fulfill but he could easily get it elsewhere, unlike me.

The Passion Test
Your life becomes seemingly worse when u intent on it appearing the way u think it should be. When u insist that the world conform to your concepts of what is best, and it doesn't, what happens? U suffer.
Everything in ur life is structured for ur evolution.

When u fight reality, u will lose - always. When u realise that every part of ur life is working to bring u closer to knowing ur true nature more completely, life can only get better.

By staying open to how life is appearing at this moment, free of ur concept.

Soul
The old me would resists. But the new me wonder why. Do I want just a physical rship? Or can't I wait?
Mmmm, this is just like my mind working drama. Logically, I shouldn't go in. I knew I want him and I knew my need been suppressed for too long. Just like I told A to accept whatever come out, the same advice for me. And I am glad Z still wants me.

The Passion Test
For the new to be created, the old must be destroyed. Because life is constantly evolving, hanging on to the old may prevent the new from coming in. There can be no tots of being a victim, for the know that all of God's acts are blessings.

Soul
Z has been in my prayer all these while. Even when we broke off.
I have Seven of Hearts in Lifetime challenges, Seven of Spades in Cosmic lesson and Seven of Clubs in Saturn. I have three of the Sevens. And I now have Seven of Diamonds (boss) with me.

I have all of them since my dream is Queen of Spades (self-mastery). I must counter my negative tots so I can have faith despite the circumstances and give love without any condition.

The Passion Test
The seven keys to living life aligned with Passion.
1. Commitment.
Until u r committed, nothing will happen for u.

2. Clarity
When u r clear, what u want will show up in ur life, and only the the extent that u r clear.

3. Attention
What u put ur attention on grows stronger in ur life.

4. Stay open
Ur greatest good may not be what u think it is. When u r open to whatever is appearing in this moment, even if its different from what u think it should be, u release ur individual will and open up to God's will for u.

When disaster strikes and u r open, u r able to take advantage of the opportunities that inevitably present themselves.

5. Integrity
Be as true to urself as u r to others and as true to others as u r to urself.
Be true to urself and when in doubt, practice Follow ur Heart

6. Persistence
Many begin the journey. Those who finish it are the ones who achieve success and fulfillment in life.
When u r living life truly aligned with ur passions, persistence is not hard. U will find u can't stop even if u want to. Ur deepest passions will drive u in spite of urself.

Soul
I am back with Z despite myself. Just when I tot I was over, it started.

7. Follow ur Heart
When all else fails, listen to ur heart. Passion emerges from the heart, not from mind.
Do what u love, follow ur heart's direction, and the path to fulfillment in life will naturally unfold before u.

When u r aligned with ur deepest, most important passions, the ups and downs of daily life won't be able to throw u off track.

Soul
I had no regrets with Z. My only regrets was that I didn't go all the way like I had committed to. So, now I will complete it.