Monday, August 22, 2011

I am supposed to move..but where (6)

Aug 14 Aft
Father, just did the Wishing tree meditation.
First wish was the physical connection with my partner. At first Z came to my mind and I blank the face.
Second wish was my website is famous and I am busy responding to requests.
Third wish was just me and my husband snuggling in a couch in our house, just contented with each other and with the world. Amen.


Aug 14 Eve
Father, he didn't attend sathsang today. I called him but no reply. I sort of knew he won't return call but a little part of me still hope to do so. When my phone rang two times, I was hoping that it be him.
Anyway, at first I was thinking he didn't want to see me. I start to project worry and etc. Then much later I stop myself and asked why am I taking this personally. He cannot come due to a valid reason that has nothing to do with me. He is not affected by me.
I just checked the call history. Not bad, 24 days I didn't call him. And of cos, he is even better than me, no calls at all. That's his determination, which is his downfall.

Never mind, let him be. I focus on my new partner.

The Passion Test
Everything made by man is created first in someone's mind; then it becomes manifest in the world.

Soul
Same as the shakti meditation today. Father, my Passion is to have my partner. But how? I really don't want to go to find. I didn't want those desperado case before.
This is not like the writing or website.
Father, I am not sure of my faith.

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