Where is my power?

Jul 26
He owe me a bit of money and I send reminder. How he live with it? Reply, he got so many other issues, urs is insignificant. That's how he proceed, he block off everything. He just focus on what he wants.

Father, did my practice. I tot I was aware, but came out 7.07. I wonder if I doze off. Such quietness. This time tots of Z is loads. At first I entertained as its pleasurable, then I try to waive it off but it keep coming. At last I just ignored the tots as they r not my choice. When pleasurable tots came in, I replace Z with new partner.

Ask and It is Given
Abraham
We write this book to assist you in returning u to ur place of optimism, positive expectation, and expanding joy; and to remind u that there is nothing that u cannot be, do or have.

Soul
I needed this as Seven of Spade is Pluto this year. Not only have to contend with my own lack of faith but also got tots of Z to deal with. I am about to dismiss tots of Z as garbage. It is over and we have cleared the air, why tots of him still come.
Answer, because u want him; because u have not cultivate the ability to pursue ur dream without worry about price to pay.

Abraham
You understood ur eternal connection to that Source Energy
"I will love pouring myself into this physical body, into physical time-space-reality, for that environment will cause me to focus the powerful Energy that is me into something more specific.
And in the specific of that focus, there will powerful motion forward - and joy"

Soul
I have encountered joy and I know I move forward when I am joyful.
But as in powerful motion forward at other times, is not. Like yday, I spend time watching TV when I could have done work. I tot of Z and his 2 hour commitment on his studies.


Soul
I felt bit small and yet not moving. I don't want to hope. I lost it with Z. I paid a big price, overcoming fear with courage. And now we broke off and he never care for me. He just wanted a fling, like he said all along. I felt misled by myself. I don't trust myself.

Answer ; not all is lost; u recover from past, u have regain ur passion, ur ability to give and receive pleasure joyfully.
Don't fret, perhaps he is just the door opener only.


Abraham
There is Nothing that you cannot Be, Do or Have.
We want to help u leave behind any perceptions u have picked along ur physical trail that are thwarting ur joy and power and we want to help u reactivate the powerful knowing that pulses within the very core of that which u r.

Soul
I have experienced loads of joy but don't feel the power.
I know I cannot with nature but to me that's just like knowing them as friends, its a pleasant feeling, definitely not a feeling of power.

Father, I don't feel powerful and I seldom even use power. And yet I am given bosses who use power and Z also use power. Father, why??
Even when I lead, I don't feel power, I just feel it is a responsibility, a burden, a service rendered. I don't see it as a medal.

And suddenly tot of Seven of Spade Pluto and Eight of Spade Results.
Affirmation for Seven of Spades Pluto
I am tapping into the source of God energy and transforming all the negativity in my life into fearlessness and appreciation.
I am living faith.

Affirmation for Eight of Spades - Results
I create success in all areas of my life. I develop the will power to overcome all problems.


Soul
Yea, I have asked how to get power? Why don't I like power? Why I am afraid of power?
Father, a tot came; Power is Responsibility.
To me if I have more power, I have responsibility. Even this thing with Isha. I am downplaying my power with teacher because I don't want the responsibility to lead.

A tot came: Am I downplaying my ability to write, to counsel?

Father, I just realised that I have been saying No to Power. And I attract powerful boss to me.
Just like my Destiny is Queen but Ruling is Ace. Ace is like a child, just trying, only need to take care of himself, don't have to take care of others. Ace is the least powerful end. What Ace has is the ability to start new things. Queens need to manage.

Abraham
You are the creator of ur own reality.
Your motion forward is inevitable. U cannot help but move forward. But u r not here on a quest to move forward - u r here to experience outrageous joy. That's why u r here.

Soul
I have experience joy on daily basis. But I don't get the power. Why??