I am supposed to move..but where? (2)

Aug 10 Aft

Death of self is equivalent to suffering is blessing.

Father, still having some tots of Z. But I reminded myself the past is gone and tots die off. I cling on because of future hope. There is no hope.
What am I feeling? Bit sad, bit regrets, bit hopeful.

Evening
Father, suddenly I missed him and I want to share with him my day.
Let me remember he is past.

Was trying to prioritise my Passion list and I realise physical pleasure was pretty high up in the list. I got afraid and didn't want to continue. I didn't realise I was so base and physical pleasure is so important. No wonder, I am so tied to food. Recently, there is a hunger in me. And I think its because Z has released another hunger in me and since that outlet been closed, it was channeled to food.

Ah ha, Nodes in Taurus that's what I aspire.
A tot came, simplicity. I am really quite simple with base needs.