Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Cosmic Reward (breakthru) - going for faith

Aug 20

Father, just finished my practice. Towards the end, two messages came in;
1. Have the courage
2. Seven of Heart lesson is unconditional love.

The self preservation comes from Ace and also Queen of not having enough. And now I have to face "Not going to have".

3. Part of me already love him. But I kept it down. I recalled the promise I made to love him privately. He is looking for love big time, guess I was looking at myself.

Going in would destroy my defense mechanism of self preservation.

Still not sure but yday was the breakdown. I have not cried so much for a long long time..

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