Sept 7 eve
Sadhguru:
I know people who have just messed up their whole system trying to do all kinds of things to their sinuses. All you need to do is kapalabathi for a month or two, and your sinusitis should completely disappear. If you do the kapalabathi properly, it will provide relief to any type of cold-related disease.
Especially those of you who have allergic conditions must do sufficient amount of kapalabathi, increasing it to whatever extent possible. Three to four months of practice should generally free you from allergies. There are a few exceptions, but it has worked for a majority of people. For those who have not had any relief, they probably need to take a break from whatever they are allergic to for a while, and do the kriya for some time to establish it well. Their kriya may not be very effective because of their allergic conditions. If the nasal passages are not fully opened and there is excessive mucus, the kriya may not be completely effective.
If it is practiced correctly, you can definitely work yourself out of allergic situations. Cold weather just won’t bother you anymore. Not just the cold, even heat will not disturb you. When you have an internal air-conditioning, both the heat and cold do not disturb you too much.
Soul
Mucus reduced after kriya. But only after Bhuta Shuddhi it was gone. Then Shakti flowers. And not only no mucus my body acclimatised to heat too. I was able to endure massive heat in Chennai last year.
In Kailash I was not really affected by cold except for the Lake Manasoravar
Sadhguru
Those who suffer from cold related diseases and find their nostrils blocked every morning, will benefit a lot from the consumption of neem, pepper, honey and turmeric.
Soul
Mmm. Looks like I got to be in.
Grind neem leaves to a paste, make a small-sized ball, dip it in honey and swallow it every morning on an empty stomach. Avoid eating anything for the next hour or so to let the neem pass through the system. This actually works on any kind of allergy – skin, food, anything. This practice can be continued for life, there is no harm in this. Neem has an extremely high medicinal value. Using tender neem leaves could reduce the bitterness, but otherwise any fresh and green leaf will do.
Crush about 10 to 12 pepper corns roughly and soak them in a couple of spoons of honey overnight (about 8 to 12 hours). In the morning you consume this and just chew upon the pepper. Mixing some turmeric with the honey should also work. If you avoid all dairy products, your phlegm will go down naturally.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Shiva, the first Yogi
Sept 7 aft 2
Of mystics and mistakes
Shiva the first yogi, was inebriated all the time. At the same time he was perfectly ascetic - sitting there in absolute meditation and drunk at the same time.
This is how we should be - absolutely inebriated, but perfectly stable within ourselves. Now the need for seeking something outside ourselves will completely disappear. Once u are blissful by ur own nature, ur life becomes an expression of ur blissfulness, not a pursuit of happiness. And that is the shift that needs to happen in every life.
Soul
Amen. It is okay to be drunk during my sadhana
Of mystics and mistakes
Shiva the first yogi, was inebriated all the time. At the same time he was perfectly ascetic - sitting there in absolute meditation and drunk at the same time.
This is how we should be - absolutely inebriated, but perfectly stable within ourselves. Now the need for seeking something outside ourselves will completely disappear. Once u are blissful by ur own nature, ur life becomes an expression of ur blissfulness, not a pursuit of happiness. And that is the shift that needs to happen in every life.
Soul
Amen. It is okay to be drunk during my sadhana
Queen of Diamonds on Kailash
Sept 7 aft 1
Queen of Diamonds
In the way of spirituality we will find the Queen of Diamonds teachers and way showers. When the Queen of Diamonds learns the true values, they can live a life they dream of. Until this state of mind is achieved there are many burdens on their way to overcome.
As Queens they belong to the royal family. They may experience indecisions and uncertainty about their friends, environment, or themselves. It might be the incompatibility with family that contributes to their discontent. Their restless nature and variety of interests may lead them to change different professions and jobs, or on a contrary the fear of financial insecurity make them stick to one job that doesn't pay as much as they really worth. They need to overcome their worries to achieve success in business.
Their life can be seen as the marsh through material values toward wealth and security of this world, but they achieve their true destination only by understanding, that money is just a minimal part of values there is. Money can't buy you love, true happiness and by itself will never bring full satisfaction.
Soul
mmm..just what I told G on Kailash..
I learn that Kailash is like life..there are pros and cons.
I have the choice to perceive what I see...whether on the pros or cons.
And what I 'experience' as good or bad is what I values.
So while the logistics is not worth the money..the USD6k that I spent didn't materialise into comfort accomodation/logistic...something I as a Taurean values..but..
the experience in Lake Manasovar and Kailash has freed me..knowing I have a choice to be myself..
So I focus now my spiritual experience instead of my material experience...what I truly values is the spiritual experience.
If given a choice of the experience of comfortable accomodation or mystical; mystical wins the day.
I am also affirmed that my meditative experience is real as it is the same in my home, in ashram and now in Kailash.
Amen.
Perhaps this is is..finally realising what i truly values.
Now I know why the first week mixed feelings..cos there are two conflicting values..
Queen of Diamonds
Queen of Diamonds are generous and will always help their friends and try to provide to their family. They can sacrifice for those they love, and with all these wonderful qualities, they might be stuck in an unhappy marriage until later in life or pursue different partners throughout their life. It might make very little or even no sense to anyone who knows the Queen of Diamonds closely. But all these "inconveniences" in life are there to achieve freedom and initialization to the higher wisdom and power.
Soul
Yes, me sticking to core team of volunteering was a responsibility, a sacrifice that becomes a burden and resulting in resentment.
I am so glad I unravel that before I went to Kailash.
My commitment was to break my validation to friends and physical before I left for Kailash..and that was done.
Queen of Diamonds
In the way of spirituality we will find the Queen of Diamonds teachers and way showers. When the Queen of Diamonds learns the true values, they can live a life they dream of. Until this state of mind is achieved there are many burdens on their way to overcome.
As Queens they belong to the royal family. They may experience indecisions and uncertainty about their friends, environment, or themselves. It might be the incompatibility with family that contributes to their discontent. Their restless nature and variety of interests may lead them to change different professions and jobs, or on a contrary the fear of financial insecurity make them stick to one job that doesn't pay as much as they really worth. They need to overcome their worries to achieve success in business.
Their life can be seen as the marsh through material values toward wealth and security of this world, but they achieve their true destination only by understanding, that money is just a minimal part of values there is. Money can't buy you love, true happiness and by itself will never bring full satisfaction.
Soul
mmm..just what I told G on Kailash..
I learn that Kailash is like life..there are pros and cons.
I have the choice to perceive what I see...whether on the pros or cons.
And what I 'experience' as good or bad is what I values.
So while the logistics is not worth the money..the USD6k that I spent didn't materialise into comfort accomodation/logistic...something I as a Taurean values..but..
the experience in Lake Manasovar and Kailash has freed me..knowing I have a choice to be myself..
So I focus now my spiritual experience instead of my material experience...what I truly values is the spiritual experience.
If given a choice of the experience of comfortable accomodation or mystical; mystical wins the day.
I am also affirmed that my meditative experience is real as it is the same in my home, in ashram and now in Kailash.
Amen.
Perhaps this is is..finally realising what i truly values.
Now I know why the first week mixed feelings..cos there are two conflicting values..
Queen of Diamonds
Queen of Diamonds are generous and will always help their friends and try to provide to their family. They can sacrifice for those they love, and with all these wonderful qualities, they might be stuck in an unhappy marriage until later in life or pursue different partners throughout their life. It might make very little or even no sense to anyone who knows the Queen of Diamonds closely. But all these "inconveniences" in life are there to achieve freedom and initialization to the higher wisdom and power.
Soul
Yes, me sticking to core team of volunteering was a responsibility, a sacrifice that becomes a burden and resulting in resentment.
I am so glad I unravel that before I went to Kailash.
My commitment was to break my validation to friends and physical before I left for Kailash..and that was done.
Sadhguru - awareness before sleep
Sept 7 aft
Life and death in one breathe
Just practice this tonight, the last moment of passing wakefulness to sleep, maintain ur awareness. See if u can, but u will see if u try to be aware, u will be awake. Only when u lose ur awareness, u will fall asleep. Just use this as a method everyday. Go at it with total perseverance and u will see in a few days u will get there, where at the final moment u are aware. Suddenly everything about ur life, the fundamental quality of ur life will change just by doing this one simple thing. Phenomenal thing u have never tot possible will become a reality if u can just manage a moment of awareness - that moment when u are transiting from wakefulness to sleep. If u do that, u will also transit from life to death in full awareness.
Soul
This is very difficult to do..can't even do it during Samyama.
Not even sure can do it now...but...
Mmm.for the past two months, hasn't been on the Osho tarot card.
Somehow printer doesn't work and so without the doc, I don't refer to it eventhough I still do weekly card.
The Issue
Flowering
The distinction between the grasses and the blossoms is the same as between you not knowing that you are a buddha, and the moment you know that you are a buddha. In fact, there is no way to be otherwise
Soul
Yes..at least I know when I am in and when I am out.
Even during sickness, I now turn to my shrine..
No longer believed that I am totally body.
Even when I had dream of nearly having sex with a naked Z...it didn't disturb me. I just see it as the past..I know its just my former inner child.
2. Internal Influence
Innocence
Zen says that if you drop knowledge - and within knowledge everything is included; your name, your identity, everything, because this has been given to you by others - if you drop all that has been given by others, you will have a totally different quality to your being: innocence. This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality, and there will be a resurrection of your innocence. You will become a child again, reborn.
The innocence that comes from a deep experience of life is childlike, but not childish. The innocence of children is beautiful, but ignorant. It will be replaced by mistrust and doubt as the child grows and learns that the world can be a dangerous and threatening place. But the innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever-changing wonder of life.
Soul
I now know that whatever is meant to happen will happen.
Kailash taught me that.
I could never have made it up there.
Today just wearing this Keen sandal for one hour and my sole is hurting..
Thank God for the landslide and I had to keep the Keen sandals much earlier than I had planned.
If i had wore it another day, my feet would have been swelling..
Its scary to be without inner control..but it is also liberating as I m now consicous.
Just as having sadhana now need to be conscious.
Having my emotion also is about choices.
The same goes for my body...
Whether I choose to be sick or not..
External influence
Moment to moment
This card challenges us to move away from our preoccupations with other spaces and other times, and stay alert to what is happening in the here and now. Life is a great ocean in which you can play if you drop all your judgments, your preferences and the attachment to the details of your long-term plans. Be available to what comes your way, as it comes. And don't worry if you stumble or fall; just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, have a good laugh, and carry on.
Soul
Exactly.
i am taking this day by day.
Today need not be same as yesterday.
This sunday need be same as last sunday.
Everyday I woke up making choices...again and again.
it is no longer the same..
. When we are faced with a very difficult situation we have a choice: we can either be resentful, and try to find somebody or something to blame for the hardships, or we can face the challenge and grow. The flower shows us the way, as its passion for life leads it out of the darkness and into the light. There is no point fighting against the challenges of life, or trying to avoid or deny them. They are there, and if the seed is to become the flower we must go through them. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower you are meant to be.
Soul
Yes..whatever will be will be.
5. Resolution
Ordanariness
. Forget all about making headlines by inventing the latest widget, or dazzling your friends and colleagues with your unique star quality. The special gift you have to offer now is presented best by just taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Life and death in one breathe
Just practice this tonight, the last moment of passing wakefulness to sleep, maintain ur awareness. See if u can, but u will see if u try to be aware, u will be awake. Only when u lose ur awareness, u will fall asleep. Just use this as a method everyday. Go at it with total perseverance and u will see in a few days u will get there, where at the final moment u are aware. Suddenly everything about ur life, the fundamental quality of ur life will change just by doing this one simple thing. Phenomenal thing u have never tot possible will become a reality if u can just manage a moment of awareness - that moment when u are transiting from wakefulness to sleep. If u do that, u will also transit from life to death in full awareness.
Soul
This is very difficult to do..can't even do it during Samyama.
Not even sure can do it now...but...
Mmm.for the past two months, hasn't been on the Osho tarot card.
Somehow printer doesn't work and so without the doc, I don't refer to it eventhough I still do weekly card.
The Issue
Flowering
The distinction between the grasses and the blossoms is the same as between you not knowing that you are a buddha, and the moment you know that you are a buddha. In fact, there is no way to be otherwise
Soul
Yes..at least I know when I am in and when I am out.
Even during sickness, I now turn to my shrine..
No longer believed that I am totally body.
Even when I had dream of nearly having sex with a naked Z...it didn't disturb me. I just see it as the past..I know its just my former inner child.
2. Internal Influence
Innocence
Zen says that if you drop knowledge - and within knowledge everything is included; your name, your identity, everything, because this has been given to you by others - if you drop all that has been given by others, you will have a totally different quality to your being: innocence. This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality, and there will be a resurrection of your innocence. You will become a child again, reborn.
The innocence that comes from a deep experience of life is childlike, but not childish. The innocence of children is beautiful, but ignorant. It will be replaced by mistrust and doubt as the child grows and learns that the world can be a dangerous and threatening place. But the innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever-changing wonder of life.
Soul
I now know that whatever is meant to happen will happen.
Kailash taught me that.
I could never have made it up there.
Today just wearing this Keen sandal for one hour and my sole is hurting..
Thank God for the landslide and I had to keep the Keen sandals much earlier than I had planned.
If i had wore it another day, my feet would have been swelling..
Its scary to be without inner control..but it is also liberating as I m now consicous.
Just as having sadhana now need to be conscious.
Having my emotion also is about choices.
The same goes for my body...
Whether I choose to be sick or not..
External influence
Moment to moment
This card challenges us to move away from our preoccupations with other spaces and other times, and stay alert to what is happening in the here and now. Life is a great ocean in which you can play if you drop all your judgments, your preferences and the attachment to the details of your long-term plans. Be available to what comes your way, as it comes. And don't worry if you stumble or fall; just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, have a good laugh, and carry on.
Soul
Exactly.
i am taking this day by day.
Today need not be same as yesterday.
This sunday need be same as last sunday.
Everyday I woke up making choices...again and again.
it is no longer the same..
. When we are faced with a very difficult situation we have a choice: we can either be resentful, and try to find somebody or something to blame for the hardships, or we can face the challenge and grow. The flower shows us the way, as its passion for life leads it out of the darkness and into the light. There is no point fighting against the challenges of life, or trying to avoid or deny them. They are there, and if the seed is to become the flower we must go through them. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower you are meant to be.
Soul
Yes..whatever will be will be.
5. Resolution
Ordanariness
. Forget all about making headlines by inventing the latest widget, or dazzling your friends and colleagues with your unique star quality. The special gift you have to offer now is presented best by just taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Conscious living
Sept 6 eve
Milarepa
Meditate by night and become Buddha by night. Meditate by day and become Buddha by day. Fortunate beings whose past actions have created favourable circumstances do not even have to meditate, they liberate by simply hearing it.
Soul
Reading on Milarepa...feel connection back to Tibet.
Amen..
Didn't sit with shrine just light it and did my reading.
father, I want to sit with the shrine because I want to ..not because I have to.
Slowly but surely learning the difference...and knowing that many things I do because I have to...not because I want to..
Suddenly realised my unconscious auto control mode is truly off.
From now on...to make choice consciously.
Amen.
When I told P that now I only want to do what I truly wants.
She said she tot I only did what I want..I said in a way yes, but there are other times I don't.
Now I am making sure everything and everytime is what I want..
Milarepa
Meditate by night and become Buddha by night. Meditate by day and become Buddha by day. Fortunate beings whose past actions have created favourable circumstances do not even have to meditate, they liberate by simply hearing it.
Soul
Reading on Milarepa...feel connection back to Tibet.
Amen..
Didn't sit with shrine just light it and did my reading.
father, I want to sit with the shrine because I want to ..not because I have to.
Slowly but surely learning the difference...and knowing that many things I do because I have to...not because I want to..
Suddenly realised my unconscious auto control mode is truly off.
From now on...to make choice consciously.
Amen.
When I told P that now I only want to do what I truly wants.
She said she tot I only did what I want..I said in a way yes, but there are other times I don't.
Now I am making sure everything and everytime is what I want..
Volunteering out of responsibility, not out of willingness
Sept 7
This morning woke up upon alarm at 6.30 am. But I still feel sleepy and remembering today is a holiday..I slept back.
Yesterday didn't sit with shrine.
My mom too was tired and woke up at 7.30 am.
In the end I woke up just before 8 am and we went for breakfast and then adjourned to market.
Had a long walk there.
Had a good chat with G.
She said going to Kailash is something that you can't plan. If you are meant to go, you will go.
She said that its great I have mystical experience in Kailash, most people goes there and doesn't experience anything..
Yes, I also said that going there reaffirm that my meditational experience is real as the same experience happens in Kailash and Manasoravar.
Father, yes, volunteering is truly over.
And alas I understand that previously I did those roles in Isha out of responsibility. It was not volunteering.
Now that I am completely out...I can see that it was truly not volunteering.
Lets see.
On the role in sister company. Perhaps boss is right, I cannot handle both company together.
Lets see. May be now that I don't have volunteering. i may.
But actually for the sister company, it is so big that it should need a proper AP Finance head, unless my regional boss wants to take that role; which is possible.
Father, now a tot in my mind.
Whatever meant to happen, will happen.
I tot of Y and Z. It was not meant to happen and finally acceptance settles in.
This morning woke up upon alarm at 6.30 am. But I still feel sleepy and remembering today is a holiday..I slept back.
Yesterday didn't sit with shrine.
My mom too was tired and woke up at 7.30 am.
In the end I woke up just before 8 am and we went for breakfast and then adjourned to market.
Had a long walk there.
Had a good chat with G.
She said going to Kailash is something that you can't plan. If you are meant to go, you will go.
She said that its great I have mystical experience in Kailash, most people goes there and doesn't experience anything..
Yes, I also said that going there reaffirm that my meditational experience is real as the same experience happens in Kailash and Manasoravar.
Father, yes, volunteering is truly over.
And alas I understand that previously I did those roles in Isha out of responsibility. It was not volunteering.
Now that I am completely out...I can see that it was truly not volunteering.
Lets see.
On the role in sister company. Perhaps boss is right, I cannot handle both company together.
Lets see. May be now that I don't have volunteering. i may.
But actually for the sister company, it is so big that it should need a proper AP Finance head, unless my regional boss wants to take that role; which is possible.
Father, now a tot in my mind.
Whatever meant to happen, will happen.
I tot of Y and Z. It was not meant to happen and finally acceptance settles in.
Five of Diamonds
Sept 6 aft
My Daily Card
The Five of Diamonds
The Five of Diamonds indicates a change in your financial condition, up or down, money coming in or going out. This card can also indicate changes within your present business such as changing locations or the way in which you do business. Another possible manifestation of this card would be taking one or more business trips.
At its deepest level, the Five of Diamonds signals a time when you will undergo a change in values. If our values, or what we really want from life, changes, it is likely that many other changes will occur at the same time. We could move to a new location, get a new job or even change relationships. In other words, all things valued are susceptible to a big change when this card appears, especially if it appears as the Long Range, Pluto or Result Card.
Soul
a change of plan; canceling my visit to ashram as initiation cannot be done at the visit.
can only be done in avashyam day, 22 Nov..so got to wait.
so will do yogaasanas refresher here in October.
Surprisingly..I seems to be okay..guess to early for another trip.
My Daily Card
The Five of Diamonds
The Five of Diamonds indicates a change in your financial condition, up or down, money coming in or going out. This card can also indicate changes within your present business such as changing locations or the way in which you do business. Another possible manifestation of this card would be taking one or more business trips.
At its deepest level, the Five of Diamonds signals a time when you will undergo a change in values. If our values, or what we really want from life, changes, it is likely that many other changes will occur at the same time. We could move to a new location, get a new job or even change relationships. In other words, all things valued are susceptible to a big change when this card appears, especially if it appears as the Long Range, Pluto or Result Card.
Soul
a change of plan; canceling my visit to ashram as initiation cannot be done at the visit.
can only be done in avashyam day, 22 Nov..so got to wait.
so will do yogaasanas refresher here in October.
Surprisingly..I seems to be okay..guess to early for another trip.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Shrine of Dhynalinga yantra and Linga's Gudi
Sept 6
Life mysteries by Osho
How does watching lead to no mind?
Tots don't have their own life. They are parasites; they live on your identifying with them. When u say, 'I am angry', you are pouring energy into anger, because u are identified with anger.
But when u say, 'I am watching anger flashing on the screen of the mind within me', u are not giving any life, any juice, any energy to anger.
U will be able to see that because u are not identified, the anger is absolutely impotent, has no impact on u, does not change u, does not affect u. It is absolutely hollow and dead. It will pass on and it will leave the sky clean and the screen of the mind empty.
Slowly slowly u start getting out of ur tots. That's the whole process of witnessing and watching.
Soul
Was updating my blog...and saw this.
Tot of my incident with A that day. My mind tells me that I should be angry.. defensive tots coming in. Somehow I was not reacting to them. I can even see that the defensive was me being the unlovable child..
So, I didn't react but I did communicate my 'unhappiness'.
Part of me wonder if I had 'switched off' due to my auto control...but perhaps not...as I can see the tots, I did get angry but I didn't let it rule me...maybe control now on manual mode..
Amen.
Today, no swimming. So did Angamardhana.
Yesterday came back with slight fever and purge..may be food poisoning. I just took a panandol and slept for 2 hours with my shrine lighted. Felt much better.. I knew the shrine's energy works.
Towards the night, the 'feverish' feeling returns, I took a panandol and did Bhuta Shuddi before I slept at 10.30 pm
I woke up around five plus and slept back.
Body feels okay this morning.
Finished my practices and just feel the energy from the shrine. I definitely want the Sannidhi.
Shakti was great...ended by singing. These days 'rest' only after complete Kapala Bhakti. Also able to be in meditative mode while ding the last breathing counts.
Shambavi was great too.. I was surprised that body wants to sing. And it sang for quite awhile.
Life mysteries by Osho
How does watching lead to no mind?
Tots don't have their own life. They are parasites; they live on your identifying with them. When u say, 'I am angry', you are pouring energy into anger, because u are identified with anger.
But when u say, 'I am watching anger flashing on the screen of the mind within me', u are not giving any life, any juice, any energy to anger.
U will be able to see that because u are not identified, the anger is absolutely impotent, has no impact on u, does not change u, does not affect u. It is absolutely hollow and dead. It will pass on and it will leave the sky clean and the screen of the mind empty.
Slowly slowly u start getting out of ur tots. That's the whole process of witnessing and watching.
Soul
Was updating my blog...and saw this.
Tot of my incident with A that day. My mind tells me that I should be angry.. defensive tots coming in. Somehow I was not reacting to them. I can even see that the defensive was me being the unlovable child..
So, I didn't react but I did communicate my 'unhappiness'.
Part of me wonder if I had 'switched off' due to my auto control...but perhaps not...as I can see the tots, I did get angry but I didn't let it rule me...maybe control now on manual mode..
Amen.
Today, no swimming. So did Angamardhana.
Yesterday came back with slight fever and purge..may be food poisoning. I just took a panandol and slept for 2 hours with my shrine lighted. Felt much better.. I knew the shrine's energy works.
Towards the night, the 'feverish' feeling returns, I took a panandol and did Bhuta Shuddi before I slept at 10.30 pm
I woke up around five plus and slept back.
Body feels okay this morning.
Finished my practices and just feel the energy from the shrine. I definitely want the Sannidhi.
Shakti was great...ended by singing. These days 'rest' only after complete Kapala Bhakti. Also able to be in meditative mode while ding the last breathing counts.
Shambavi was great too.. I was surprised that body wants to sing. And it sang for quite awhile.
Meditation is just being delighted in your own being
Sept 4
Feel great on my own. A contentment of being myself.
So glad of sharing from P. We have all grown up individually. All of us going deeper into our own spiritual path.
I told P that timing is perfect. Letting go of being a guide ease the way of having my own sannidhi. I also told her that I be taking guru pooja test cos I want to do the guru pooja for my shrine. She asked why I didn't do it last year. I said I was not ready then. Now no more resistance, just willingness.
Also be getting turmeric for my joints.
Sept 4
Life's mysteries.
Meditation is just being delighted in ur own presence; meditation is a delight in ur own being.
Meditation is just to be, not doing anything - no action, no tot, no emotion. You just are. And it is sheer delight. From where does this delight comes when u are not doing anything? It comes from nowhere, or it comes from everywhere. It is uncaused, because the existence is made of the stuff called joy. It need no cause, no reason. Joy is ur innermost core.
And when one is happy for no reason, that happiness cannot be contained within urself. It goes on spreading to others, it becomes a sharing. U cannot hold it, it is so much, it is infinite. This is what compassion is.
Soul
Finally understand what Sadhguru said when you are truly joyful on your own, you can't help but spread joy.
Feel great on my own. A contentment of being myself.
So glad of sharing from P. We have all grown up individually. All of us going deeper into our own spiritual path.
I told P that timing is perfect. Letting go of being a guide ease the way of having my own sannidhi. I also told her that I be taking guru pooja test cos I want to do the guru pooja for my shrine. She asked why I didn't do it last year. I said I was not ready then. Now no more resistance, just willingness.
Also be getting turmeric for my joints.
Sept 4
Life's mysteries.
Meditation is just being delighted in ur own presence; meditation is a delight in ur own being.
Meditation is just to be, not doing anything - no action, no tot, no emotion. You just are. And it is sheer delight. From where does this delight comes when u are not doing anything? It comes from nowhere, or it comes from everywhere. It is uncaused, because the existence is made of the stuff called joy. It need no cause, no reason. Joy is ur innermost core.
And when one is happy for no reason, that happiness cannot be contained within urself. It goes on spreading to others, it becomes a sharing. U cannot hold it, it is so much, it is infinite. This is what compassion is.
Soul
Finally understand what Sadhguru said when you are truly joyful on your own, you can't help but spread joy.
Married to Joy by Tinybuddha
Sept 3
Was feeling bit down as I was 'push off' by A. His comments was hurtful and not caring. Suddenly I feel unwanted, feeling like a unloved child. I hold on to myself. I can see myself going sad..
and saw this on Facebook. So apt. Married to joy, that's me.
Married to joy by Tinybuddha
And when I occasionally find myself at home alone on a Saturday night, when in the past I’d have been downtown with my partner and our friends, I delight in figuring out what I want to do. And my delight energizes my entire being.
For the first time since I was a child, what I am doing feels right and sure. I have fallen in love with myself again, I delight in the minutes again, I enjoy my friends again, and I am aware of my many blessings again.
Expecting full joy has opened my heart to more than I imagined, and the paths to pursue fullness have opened to me. Before, when I expected unhappiness to continue, it did.
Most revealing about who I was, I realize that I never expected to experience such fullness as a single person. I thought my completeness depended on someone else.
Now I know that what I’ve sought I’ve had all along, whether as a partner or single. I was just waiting for me to notice.
Is being a single person my destination or part of my journey?
Sharing this last chapter of my life with a magnificent someone else would be a beautiful bonus since I have married myself to the joy of simple awareness, of breathing in and out. In and out. Deeply.
Soul
Feeling bit better..the small child has grown up.
This was my tot this morning. This morning there were tots of Z and Y. I looked at the fleeting tots; somehow I won't be tagged. I am so aware of who I am. Being able to sit and just feel me; my breathe; my silence, my being.
Also alas can see A for being a not truly nice person. He looked well mannered but alas he is showing up. The old me would have ignored but new me saw this. Now I understand what his parents said about him being rude.
(Sept 25 - A called up to apologise on his rudeness for the past weeks. He said he just broke off with his on-off gal and not in the right frame)
Afternoon
After the unsuccesful birthday surprise and feeling was hurt...
just saw my card for today. Mars in Seven of Clubs.
My Daily Card
The Seven of Clubs
When the Seven of Clubs is present you will either be exposed to spiritual knowledge, which is knowledge that leads one back to the self, or you will be challenged to let go of mental attitudes and beliefs that are keeping you trapped on lower levels of thought. The lowest side of this card is negative thinking. The highest side is mental and spiritual revelation, expanded consciousness. How it manifests for you will depend upon your ability to elevate your thinking.
Amen...
Was feeling bit down as I was 'push off' by A. His comments was hurtful and not caring. Suddenly I feel unwanted, feeling like a unloved child. I hold on to myself. I can see myself going sad..
and saw this on Facebook. So apt. Married to joy, that's me.
Married to joy by Tinybuddha
And when I occasionally find myself at home alone on a Saturday night, when in the past I’d have been downtown with my partner and our friends, I delight in figuring out what I want to do. And my delight energizes my entire being.
For the first time since I was a child, what I am doing feels right and sure. I have fallen in love with myself again, I delight in the minutes again, I enjoy my friends again, and I am aware of my many blessings again.
Expecting full joy has opened my heart to more than I imagined, and the paths to pursue fullness have opened to me. Before, when I expected unhappiness to continue, it did.
Most revealing about who I was, I realize that I never expected to experience such fullness as a single person. I thought my completeness depended on someone else.
Now I know that what I’ve sought I’ve had all along, whether as a partner or single. I was just waiting for me to notice.
Is being a single person my destination or part of my journey?
Sharing this last chapter of my life with a magnificent someone else would be a beautiful bonus since I have married myself to the joy of simple awareness, of breathing in and out. In and out. Deeply.
Soul
Feeling bit better..the small child has grown up.
This was my tot this morning. This morning there were tots of Z and Y. I looked at the fleeting tots; somehow I won't be tagged. I am so aware of who I am. Being able to sit and just feel me; my breathe; my silence, my being.
Also alas can see A for being a not truly nice person. He looked well mannered but alas he is showing up. The old me would have ignored but new me saw this. Now I understand what his parents said about him being rude.
(Sept 25 - A called up to apologise on his rudeness for the past weeks. He said he just broke off with his on-off gal and not in the right frame)
Afternoon
After the unsuccesful birthday surprise and feeling was hurt...
just saw my card for today. Mars in Seven of Clubs.
My Daily Card
The Seven of Clubs
When the Seven of Clubs is present you will either be exposed to spiritual knowledge, which is knowledge that leads one back to the self, or you will be challenged to let go of mental attitudes and beliefs that are keeping you trapped on lower levels of thought. The lowest side of this card is negative thinking. The highest side is mental and spiritual revelation, expanded consciousness. How it manifests for you will depend upon your ability to elevate your thinking.
Amen...
Sadhguru on consecrated space - to rejunevate and grow naturally
Sept 2 Mor
Bhuta Shuddhi is a basic sadhana in yoga to transcend the limitations of the physical and to become available to a dimension beyond the physical.
The five elements needs to be constantly integrated. The very forces of life are constantly trying to dismantle the integrity of the five elements as a combination of creation.
So on a Shivarati night, Mother Earth tries to integrate herself or try to bring the five elements together in a much more forceful way than on other nights.
How the five elements behave within u will determine just about everything. If this body has to become a foundation, a stepping stone to a bigger possibility, not a hurdle, it is very important that the system is properly integrated.
Being in the Dhynalinga temple does a phenomenal job of integrating the system, not just on the surface level. If the elements are functioning well and strongly integrated, health just happens by itself.
Soul
Mmm. Good for bi annual retreat.
Sadhguru
Though most human believe that their experience is created by events around them, I realised that it is hundred percent self-created. U can make ur experience whichever way u want.
Once you are blissful by ur own nature, ur life become an expression of ur blissfulness, not a pursuit of happiness. And that is the shift that needs to happen in everyone life.
Soul
Amen
Was bit worried whether my shrine (wood coffee table) can carry the mercury stone sannidhi.
Spoke to S and she said my shrine is perfect, just ready to receive Sannidhi.
Mmm, a tot came..in a way, the energy from Gudi and Dhynalinga yantra has set the foundation.
I first got Dhynalinga yantra in late Oct and now Sannidhi is coming late November, a year later.
My space is coming together..amen.
Just wrote to Pa on the sannidhi initiation. And will be going for hata yoga in ashram too.
And dropping by Mumbai for a visit..
Updating blog and saw this.
Of mystic and mistakes
Every human being and every creature that walks or crawls should live in a consecrated space is the dream of every enlightened being. This is the dream of every enlightened being because it does not matter how many teachings or practices or methods u impart to people, u have to create a womb where people can naturally Rejuvenate and grow.
Soul
This is true.
I feel rejunevated with the shrine in my room.
Of mystic and mistakes
For the common populace to be able to do sadhana by themselves, go beyond their physicality and attain to their highest, is not impossible. But unfortunately most people would not do it because their lives tend to be determined by the natural forces around them.
The whole purpose of spirituality is to transcend all the limitations of nature. It is nature that gives u the body, ur life, the earth u live on. But now, if u want to transcend her, she is not going to let u pass so easily.
So u have to be extremely alert and carry a certain kind of energy so that she cannot hold u. Otherwise she will hold u at every point in a million different ways.
So creating an energy body, creating a consecrated space in such a way that the very atmosphere around u is constantly instigating u to go beyond ur physicality - this has always been the aim.
Bhuta Shuddhi is a basic sadhana in yoga to transcend the limitations of the physical and to become available to a dimension beyond the physical.
The five elements needs to be constantly integrated. The very forces of life are constantly trying to dismantle the integrity of the five elements as a combination of creation.
So on a Shivarati night, Mother Earth tries to integrate herself or try to bring the five elements together in a much more forceful way than on other nights.
How the five elements behave within u will determine just about everything. If this body has to become a foundation, a stepping stone to a bigger possibility, not a hurdle, it is very important that the system is properly integrated.
Being in the Dhynalinga temple does a phenomenal job of integrating the system, not just on the surface level. If the elements are functioning well and strongly integrated, health just happens by itself.
Soul
Mmm. Good for bi annual retreat.
Sadhguru
Though most human believe that their experience is created by events around them, I realised that it is hundred percent self-created. U can make ur experience whichever way u want.
Once you are blissful by ur own nature, ur life become an expression of ur blissfulness, not a pursuit of happiness. And that is the shift that needs to happen in everyone life.
Soul
Amen
Was bit worried whether my shrine (wood coffee table) can carry the mercury stone sannidhi.
Spoke to S and she said my shrine is perfect, just ready to receive Sannidhi.
Mmm, a tot came..in a way, the energy from Gudi and Dhynalinga yantra has set the foundation.
I first got Dhynalinga yantra in late Oct and now Sannidhi is coming late November, a year later.
My space is coming together..amen.
Just wrote to Pa on the sannidhi initiation. And will be going for hata yoga in ashram too.
And dropping by Mumbai for a visit..
Updating blog and saw this.
Of mystic and mistakes
Every human being and every creature that walks or crawls should live in a consecrated space is the dream of every enlightened being. This is the dream of every enlightened being because it does not matter how many teachings or practices or methods u impart to people, u have to create a womb where people can naturally Rejuvenate and grow.
Soul
This is true.
I feel rejunevated with the shrine in my room.
Of mystic and mistakes
For the common populace to be able to do sadhana by themselves, go beyond their physicality and attain to their highest, is not impossible. But unfortunately most people would not do it because their lives tend to be determined by the natural forces around them.
The whole purpose of spirituality is to transcend all the limitations of nature. It is nature that gives u the body, ur life, the earth u live on. But now, if u want to transcend her, she is not going to let u pass so easily.
So u have to be extremely alert and carry a certain kind of energy so that she cannot hold u. Otherwise she will hold u at every point in a million different ways.
So creating an energy body, creating a consecrated space in such a way that the very atmosphere around u is constantly instigating u to go beyond ur physicality - this has always been the aim.
Body in pain (RA) after Kailash
Sept 2
Body woke up fresh around 4 am. I savour the freshness of my body waking up. Good knowing my body is now back. Waited awhile till alarm rang at 4.20 am before I rise from bed.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and skip Guru pooja. Followed by cat stretch, left wrist was bit painful and right elbow was painful and so was left shoulder. It was a base cat stretch since having all these pains.
Start with Angamardhana, left shoulder and right elbow in pain when I did hand postures. Surprising It was quite okay despite 3 weeks of non practice and pain in various joints. I was unable to do the squatting with legs pushed out posture as both feet's balls are in pain. Baby posture was difficult with knee ham string totally stretched. This time I insert the pillow seat towards the front to release the pressure. Lying down postures was good. The 5 minutes Dhyna, went into quick meditation with head shaking. After a quick Shavasana, did one cycle of Surya Kriya, I couldn't do the first lying down posture due to pain in both shoulder and elbow. I can only do 2 mountain pose with both feet on the ground. After Surya Kriya, went straight into breathing meditation instead of doing another short Shavasana. It was okay.
Shakti was good but bit lost in tots during Kapala Bhakti especially third cycle. I was singing out loud at the end. Did an abridged Shambavi, it was quite powerful, can sense me going deeper. Wish I could stay longer in my contented deep silence. Amen.
I m slowly coming back. Just adjusted alarm clock to 4.15 am; slowly returning.
Of Mystics and Mistakes
Pournami
Ask the people who are a little mad. They know the difference very well.
Just as the water in the river and sea is rising up, similarly ur blood is trying to jump up. When the circulation of blood increases in ur brain, whatever is ur quality get enhanced. If u r a little mad, u become madder. If u are peaceful, u become more peaceful. If u are joyous u become more joyous. Whatever is ur quality, it is just being pushed up.
A person seeking to grow on the spiritual path cannot ignore Gautama. Gautama flowered on a Pournami because for a person on the path of effortlessness, Pournami is best. For the practice of Samyama, Pournami is definitely best.
Soul
On the enhanced quality, I recalled that when I was drunk with liqour, I normally just giggle.
Amen.
No wonder the Buddha idol is part of my shrine.
Body woke up fresh around 4 am. I savour the freshness of my body waking up. Good knowing my body is now back. Waited awhile till alarm rang at 4.20 am before I rise from bed.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and skip Guru pooja. Followed by cat stretch, left wrist was bit painful and right elbow was painful and so was left shoulder. It was a base cat stretch since having all these pains.
Start with Angamardhana, left shoulder and right elbow in pain when I did hand postures. Surprising It was quite okay despite 3 weeks of non practice and pain in various joints. I was unable to do the squatting with legs pushed out posture as both feet's balls are in pain. Baby posture was difficult with knee ham string totally stretched. This time I insert the pillow seat towards the front to release the pressure. Lying down postures was good. The 5 minutes Dhyna, went into quick meditation with head shaking. After a quick Shavasana, did one cycle of Surya Kriya, I couldn't do the first lying down posture due to pain in both shoulder and elbow. I can only do 2 mountain pose with both feet on the ground. After Surya Kriya, went straight into breathing meditation instead of doing another short Shavasana. It was okay.
Shakti was good but bit lost in tots during Kapala Bhakti especially third cycle. I was singing out loud at the end. Did an abridged Shambavi, it was quite powerful, can sense me going deeper. Wish I could stay longer in my contented deep silence. Amen.
I m slowly coming back. Just adjusted alarm clock to 4.15 am; slowly returning.
Of Mystics and Mistakes
Pournami
Ask the people who are a little mad. They know the difference very well.
Just as the water in the river and sea is rising up, similarly ur blood is trying to jump up. When the circulation of blood increases in ur brain, whatever is ur quality get enhanced. If u r a little mad, u become madder. If u are peaceful, u become more peaceful. If u are joyous u become more joyous. Whatever is ur quality, it is just being pushed up.
A person seeking to grow on the spiritual path cannot ignore Gautama. Gautama flowered on a Pournami because for a person on the path of effortlessness, Pournami is best. For the practice of Samyama, Pournami is definitely best.
Soul
On the enhanced quality, I recalled that when I was drunk with liqour, I normally just giggle.
Amen.
No wonder the Buddha idol is part of my shrine.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Sadhguru - Sadhana let u there is nowhere to go
Aug 30 aft
Sadhguru on sadhanas
The idea of doing sadhana is to come to a state where you can simply be here – to understand and know that what is here is everywhere, what is not here is nowhere. Getting beyond the need to go somewhere, that is sadhana, because in fact, there is nowhere to go.
There is only here, and there is only now. The rest is all in your head. Sadhana is to bring you to a state where at least for some period of time in the day, just sitting is good enough. If you live, you are here and now, if you die, you are still here and now. You cannot go anywhere. There is nowhere to go.
Soul
here – to understand and know that what is here is everywhere, what is not here is nowhere
Truly can relate to this. To me Kailash and Manasovar is everywhere.
Sadhguru on sadhanas
The idea of doing sadhana is to come to a state where you can simply be here – to understand and know that what is here is everywhere, what is not here is nowhere. Getting beyond the need to go somewhere, that is sadhana, because in fact, there is nowhere to go.
There is only here, and there is only now. The rest is all in your head. Sadhana is to bring you to a state where at least for some period of time in the day, just sitting is good enough. If you live, you are here and now, if you die, you are still here and now. You cannot go anywhere. There is nowhere to go.
Soul
here – to understand and know that what is here is everywhere, what is not here is nowhere
Truly can relate to this. To me Kailash and Manasovar is everywhere.
Journey vs destination
Aug 30
Woke up at 6.45 am upon alarm. Body wasn't that alert but I just want to get up. I m recovered and next week to start my sadhanas.
My left shoulder and right elbow is stiff and in pain. Reminds me hata yoga still required. I also feel that yogaasanas now needs to happen. Angamardhana has open up but now need Yogasanas to release the trapped energy.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Did one cycle of Surya kriya but with the pain on my hands I can only touch both feet to ground in the third mountain pose. Did Breathing but not great.
Best swim of my life. Finally I know the difference between enjoying the journey vs reaching the destination.
When I swam the first free style for warm up can feel slight pain on my left shoulder and right elbow. Second lap I just continue with my breast stroke. Just going slowly, savouring the water and my breathe.
Somehow feel comfortable breathing in the water. There were many people around and this time they don't trouble me. I just swam towards the middle pool. Just enjoying myself whenever my head goes down the water. I m able to put my head down focus on the bottom pool and my breathe.
Savouring my swim, my journey. I can see that that destination (end of lap) but I m no longer anxious to reach the destination. I am just savouring the water. For the first time truly can savour the journey. So apt that this week Osho tarot card is on the Journey.
Woke up at 6.45 am upon alarm. Body wasn't that alert but I just want to get up. I m recovered and next week to start my sadhanas.
My left shoulder and right elbow is stiff and in pain. Reminds me hata yoga still required. I also feel that yogaasanas now needs to happen. Angamardhana has open up but now need Yogasanas to release the trapped energy.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Did one cycle of Surya kriya but with the pain on my hands I can only touch both feet to ground in the third mountain pose. Did Breathing but not great.
Best swim of my life. Finally I know the difference between enjoying the journey vs reaching the destination.
When I swam the first free style for warm up can feel slight pain on my left shoulder and right elbow. Second lap I just continue with my breast stroke. Just going slowly, savouring the water and my breathe.
Somehow feel comfortable breathing in the water. There were many people around and this time they don't trouble me. I just swam towards the middle pool. Just enjoying myself whenever my head goes down the water. I m able to put my head down focus on the bottom pool and my breathe.
Savouring my swim, my journey. I can see that that destination (end of lap) but I m no longer anxious to reach the destination. I am just savouring the water. For the first time truly can savour the journey. So apt that this week Osho tarot card is on the Journey.
Miracle in Lake Manasoravar
Aug 29 eve 1
The life of Milarepa
Milarepa achieved buddhahood by the rapid method of tantric path. He practiced the stage of generation, visualising himself as a buddha, his own body as a mandala with various deities located at specific points within it.
He also practised the stage of completion in which he brought under control the various energies or winds that course through a network of channels in the body, causing those winds to enter the central channel that runs from the crown of the head to the spine to the base of the spine, generating both an inner heat and increasing level of bliss. Finally he achieved a spontaneous realisation of the most profound nature of the mind.
Soul
The part on wind on the spine reminds me the event in Manasoravar where a flow of energy ran through my body like a scanner. Then laughter erupted. Later I can sleep despite the wet sleeping blanket. Amen. Something or someone from Manasoravar saved me that night. I could have died from Hypothermia.
The life of Milarepa
Milarepa achieved buddhahood by the rapid method of tantric path. He practiced the stage of generation, visualising himself as a buddha, his own body as a mandala with various deities located at specific points within it.
He also practised the stage of completion in which he brought under control the various energies or winds that course through a network of channels in the body, causing those winds to enter the central channel that runs from the crown of the head to the spine to the base of the spine, generating both an inner heat and increasing level of bliss. Finally he achieved a spontaneous realisation of the most profound nature of the mind.
Soul
The part on wind on the spine reminds me the event in Manasoravar where a flow of energy ran through my body like a scanner. Then laughter erupted. Later I can sleep despite the wet sleeping blanket. Amen. Something or someone from Manasoravar saved me that night. I could have died from Hypothermia.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Sadhguru - once you are aware of your own nature, you begin to experience love
Aug 29 eve
Sadhguru
What you are referring to as love is basically the sweetness of your emotion. If you look at this carefully, naturally your innermost longing is to be free of every human being on the planet, to be free of everything so that you can be just the way you want to be.
Once a human being becomes more aware of his own nature, he begins to experience love, blissfulness and ecstasy. Even to experience orgasmic ways of life, you actually don’t need anybody. If you just sit here, you can make it happen within yourself because after all, it’s your body, it’s your mind, it’s your emotion, it’s your chemistry and you are the one who is creating all the experiences of your life. So, if it’s self-created, right now, if you sit here, would you choose to maintain the sweetness of your mind, body, emotion and energy or would you like something bitter?
- See more at: http://www.sadhguruonline.com/blog/the-chemistry-of-love#sthash.ijnLDxJI.dpuf
Soul
This exactly describe my inner journey to be free of validation; both from others and myself too.
Just sitting with my shrine, joyfulness erupted from me. Amen.
It my chemistry.
Sadhguru: So you would naturally be loving. When you see a man and a woman, you are talking about a relationship. There are different aspects to it – social, physical, psychological or an economic angle to it. We form relationships with a variety of people in our lives. You have business relationships, personal relationships and professional relationships. We form relationships basically to fulfill certain types of needs or to fulfill somebody else’s needs, whichever way it is. But what you refer to as love is just the sweetness of your emotion. You can use another person to stimulate that within you.
Soul
So either I stimulate the love chemistry within myself or find another to create the chemistry.
Sadhguru
What you are referring to as love is basically the sweetness of your emotion. If you look at this carefully, naturally your innermost longing is to be free of every human being on the planet, to be free of everything so that you can be just the way you want to be.
Once a human being becomes more aware of his own nature, he begins to experience love, blissfulness and ecstasy. Even to experience orgasmic ways of life, you actually don’t need anybody. If you just sit here, you can make it happen within yourself because after all, it’s your body, it’s your mind, it’s your emotion, it’s your chemistry and you are the one who is creating all the experiences of your life. So, if it’s self-created, right now, if you sit here, would you choose to maintain the sweetness of your mind, body, emotion and energy or would you like something bitter?
- See more at: http://www.sadhguruonline.com/blog/the-chemistry-of-love#sthash.ijnLDxJI.dpuf
Soul
This exactly describe my inner journey to be free of validation; both from others and myself too.
Just sitting with my shrine, joyfulness erupted from me. Amen.
It my chemistry.
Sadhguru: So you would naturally be loving. When you see a man and a woman, you are talking about a relationship. There are different aspects to it – social, physical, psychological or an economic angle to it. We form relationships with a variety of people in our lives. You have business relationships, personal relationships and professional relationships. We form relationships basically to fulfill certain types of needs or to fulfill somebody else’s needs, whichever way it is. But what you refer to as love is just the sweetness of your emotion. You can use another person to stimulate that within you.
Soul
So either I stimulate the love chemistry within myself or find another to create the chemistry.
North Node in Taurus - I am enough
Aug 29 aft
I am enough
North node in Taurus
To achieve successful long term relationships, they need to first recognise that's their energy is enough - they can live off their own energy. As long as they feel incomplete they will continue to attract people who also have low self esteem. But without the untamed neediness driving them, they can take their time in discovering whose energy will actually increase them and bring them joy.
Soul
Love this reminder..now just focus on being me..knowing I am enough.
On sannidhi..yes, definitely getting..
On my room..yes, definitely expanding.
I can make myself happy...i need not wait for others...
I am enough..
The same as me need not volunteer...out of validation..
Let me be myself, keep to myself..storing myself..knowing I am enough
I am enough
North node in Taurus
To achieve successful long term relationships, they need to first recognise that's their energy is enough - they can live off their own energy. As long as they feel incomplete they will continue to attract people who also have low self esteem. But without the untamed neediness driving them, they can take their time in discovering whose energy will actually increase them and bring them joy.
Soul
Love this reminder..now just focus on being me..knowing I am enough.
On sannidhi..yes, definitely getting..
On my room..yes, definitely expanding.
I can make myself happy...i need not wait for others...
I am enough..
The same as me need not volunteer...out of validation..
Let me be myself, keep to myself..storing myself..knowing I am enough
Not wanting to do sadhana
Aug 29
Alarm rang at 7 am..but I was not ready.
Yesterday, didn't want to sit with shrine but I did and it was powerful..got rid of some knots in me.
Slept back and woke up 8 plus but still don't want to. This week just want to rest...
Finally woke up 9 plus..but my sole hurts when I walk..guess the swell still there. No wonder P said I walked with a limp.
At first tot to do only Shakti and one cycle of Surya Kriya....in the end did more.
Too late for Bhuta Shuddhi...Sang guru pooja and did one cycle of Surya Kriya...yeah,, both feet touch grounds for all four mountain posture.
Did a short breathing..I didn't want to lose this..this grounds me..and endears me to my shrine..
Shakti was good...and I was singing in the end.
Did a quick Shambavi...nice.
Plough back not great...will go back to Angamardhana.
Today wear the pants I bought for Kailash..it is so loose..I really lost much weight in Kaliash. P said this is the thinnest she has seen me in the last 4 years. I said my weight is now back to my weight a few years ago..
Guess..i lost further values..in Kailash..
One thing..miss Angamadharna..will start back next week.
Updated Y on Kailash. He and I will remain as friends or rather acquaintances. We can't go back as before but now start afresh as acquaintances.
As for Z, we can't be friends as we have too much past to hide and forget and also we not on same wave length. So no need to continue.
Alarm rang at 7 am..but I was not ready.
Yesterday, didn't want to sit with shrine but I did and it was powerful..got rid of some knots in me.
Slept back and woke up 8 plus but still don't want to. This week just want to rest...
Finally woke up 9 plus..but my sole hurts when I walk..guess the swell still there. No wonder P said I walked with a limp.
At first tot to do only Shakti and one cycle of Surya Kriya....in the end did more.
Too late for Bhuta Shuddhi...Sang guru pooja and did one cycle of Surya Kriya...yeah,, both feet touch grounds for all four mountain posture.
Did a short breathing..I didn't want to lose this..this grounds me..and endears me to my shrine..
Shakti was good...and I was singing in the end.
Did a quick Shambavi...nice.
Plough back not great...will go back to Angamardhana.
Today wear the pants I bought for Kailash..it is so loose..I really lost much weight in Kaliash. P said this is the thinnest she has seen me in the last 4 years. I said my weight is now back to my weight a few years ago..
Guess..i lost further values..in Kailash..
One thing..miss Angamadharna..will start back next week.
Updated Y on Kailash. He and I will remain as friends or rather acquaintances. We can't go back as before but now start afresh as acquaintances.
As for Z, we can't be friends as we have too much past to hide and forget and also we not on same wave length. So no need to continue.
Sadhguru - pleasure is not bliss
Aug 28
Woke up upon alarm at 3.45 am. Body not as tired but I want to sleep. So switch off alarm and slept back till 4.30 am and again not wanting to wake up. In the end I just let body decides. Body woke up fresh at 5.21 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi, three cycles of cat stretch followed by one cycle of Surya kriya. Body is stiff can only have one time both feet on the ground in mountain pose. Angarmadhana is truly required.
Did a quick breathing followed by Shakti. Shakti was good. So glad I finally connect with Shakti. Singing after Shakti. Skip Shambavi but did quick preparatory steps.
For next week, will omit guru pooja and Shambavi. Takes 40 min off my working day wake up time.
Of mystics and mistakes
Most people misunderstood pleasure as bliss. U can never sustain pleasure. It always falls short of u but blissfulness means a state that is not dependent upon anything.
Pleasure is always dependent on something or somebody.
Blissfulness is not dependent on anything. It is ur own nature; once u are in touch with it, u are in it, that's all.
Blissfulness is not some that u earn from outside, it is something u dig deep into urself and find. All the time u have bliss with you.
Soul
Not sure on the daily bliss, but now I have sweet contentment just sitting with my shrine
Woke up upon alarm at 3.45 am. Body not as tired but I want to sleep. So switch off alarm and slept back till 4.30 am and again not wanting to wake up. In the end I just let body decides. Body woke up fresh at 5.21 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi, three cycles of cat stretch followed by one cycle of Surya kriya. Body is stiff can only have one time both feet on the ground in mountain pose. Angarmadhana is truly required.
Did a quick breathing followed by Shakti. Shakti was good. So glad I finally connect with Shakti. Singing after Shakti. Skip Shambavi but did quick preparatory steps.
For next week, will omit guru pooja and Shambavi. Takes 40 min off my working day wake up time.
Of mystics and mistakes
Most people misunderstood pleasure as bliss. U can never sustain pleasure. It always falls short of u but blissfulness means a state that is not dependent upon anything.
Pleasure is always dependent on something or somebody.
Blissfulness is not dependent on anything. It is ur own nature; once u are in touch with it, u are in it, that's all.
Blissfulness is not some that u earn from outside, it is something u dig deep into urself and find. All the time u have bliss with you.
Soul
Not sure on the daily bliss, but now I have sweet contentment just sitting with my shrine
Life dismantled by Kailash
Aug 27 aft
Read this
Jul 15 eve
Sadhguru
People who have come up on kriya have a completely different kind of presence about them because of the mastery over their energies. They can dismantle life and put it back together. But if you are just pursuing other ways, like gnana for example, you are razor-sharp, you can do many things with your mind but still there is nothing much you can do with your energy. If you are on bhakti, there is nothing you can do and you don’t care, you only want to dissolve. If you are on the path of karma yoga, you do many things in the world, but you can do nothing with yourself. But kriya yogis can do whatever they wish with themselves in terms of energy and they can do a lot with the world also.
Soul
This is interesting...
Exactly what I need now...since I am back to square one...life dismantled by Kailash...now up to me to put me up together consciously instead of unconsciously.
No more following the crowd especially since I am no longer a Sathsang guide nor core volunteer.
I can just do what I truly want without any fear of loss of validation..as the validation is already gone. Amen
Thanks for the motivation...
Read this
Jul 15 eve
Sadhguru
People who have come up on kriya have a completely different kind of presence about them because of the mastery over their energies. They can dismantle life and put it back together. But if you are just pursuing other ways, like gnana for example, you are razor-sharp, you can do many things with your mind but still there is nothing much you can do with your energy. If you are on bhakti, there is nothing you can do and you don’t care, you only want to dissolve. If you are on the path of karma yoga, you do many things in the world, but you can do nothing with yourself. But kriya yogis can do whatever they wish with themselves in terms of energy and they can do a lot with the world also.
Soul
This is interesting...
Exactly what I need now...since I am back to square one...life dismantled by Kailash...now up to me to put me up together consciously instead of unconsciously.
No more following the crowd especially since I am no longer a Sathsang guide nor core volunteer.
I can just do what I truly want without any fear of loss of validation..as the validation is already gone. Amen
Thanks for the motivation...
Losing my automatic mode on Sadhana
Aug 27
Woke up upon alarm at 7 am..but not willing to wake up.
Slept a bit and woke up just before 8 am.
Checked my FB and got this message.
Sadhguru
Sadhana is towards creating a sense of fulfilment where there is no need to lean on anyone anymore.
Soul
That's the msg I need now. I m losing everything I know...but sadhana is what I know.
Can't do Bhuta Shuddi...as it is too late.
Didn't do Angamadharna...so did 3 cycle of Surya Kriya.
Body bit stiff...in the first cycle, couldn't get both feet on the ground. In the second cycle, both feet touch ground on 2 mountain pose and second cycle, both feet touches ground on 3 cycles. I was laughing during the lying down postures..yes, Surya Kriya I still want
Yes...Angamardhana is important to me and I still want it.
Breathing meditation is okay...I still want cos that's where I sit with my shrine...ultimately I want Samyama.
Shakti...I am slowly but surely getting the sound of Kapala Bhakti..it was quite good. Towards the end I was singing..I want Shakti.
On Shambavi..I did a quick one...I now do abridged Shambavi..
i am not keen on Shambavi..but I like that it somehow brings me back to earth after the high of Shakti.
Finished my practices around 10.30 am
Love the feeling of myself...
I am truly back to square one.
It is like you are married and you just go on auto mode. One day, you are freed and everyday you decide if you want to be with your husband.
Thats how I feel now with my sadhana. A daily decision.
It is now going to be on whether I want to do ..and not I have to do.
My sadhanas was on auto mode previously..but not now.
Instead of lamenting for the loss of auto mode, perhaps I should rejoice that I am finally freed and can make the choice.
Even my Rheumatoid Arthristis pills, I have not been taking the pills since Kailash and now nearly 5 days have passed and still not taking.
Yes...now I can finally said that I am doing sadhana because I truly want to.
Previously it was my RA that keep me going..
Now I decide what I want to do...
Angamardhana...is what I want...it allows me to eat as much as I want without gaining weight...especially my desserts.
It made my body nimble...
It makes the asanas effortless.
Woke up upon alarm at 7 am..but not willing to wake up.
Slept a bit and woke up just before 8 am.
Checked my FB and got this message.
Sadhguru
Sadhana is towards creating a sense of fulfilment where there is no need to lean on anyone anymore.
Soul
That's the msg I need now. I m losing everything I know...but sadhana is what I know.
Can't do Bhuta Shuddi...as it is too late.
Didn't do Angamadharna...so did 3 cycle of Surya Kriya.
Body bit stiff...in the first cycle, couldn't get both feet on the ground. In the second cycle, both feet touch ground on 2 mountain pose and second cycle, both feet touches ground on 3 cycles. I was laughing during the lying down postures..yes, Surya Kriya I still want
Yes...Angamardhana is important to me and I still want it.
Breathing meditation is okay...I still want cos that's where I sit with my shrine...ultimately I want Samyama.
Shakti...I am slowly but surely getting the sound of Kapala Bhakti..it was quite good. Towards the end I was singing..I want Shakti.
On Shambavi..I did a quick one...I now do abridged Shambavi..
i am not keen on Shambavi..but I like that it somehow brings me back to earth after the high of Shakti.
Finished my practices around 10.30 am
Love the feeling of myself...
I am truly back to square one.
It is like you are married and you just go on auto mode. One day, you are freed and everyday you decide if you want to be with your husband.
Thats how I feel now with my sadhana. A daily decision.
It is now going to be on whether I want to do ..and not I have to do.
My sadhanas was on auto mode previously..but not now.
Instead of lamenting for the loss of auto mode, perhaps I should rejoice that I am finally freed and can make the choice.
Even my Rheumatoid Arthristis pills, I have not been taking the pills since Kailash and now nearly 5 days have passed and still not taking.
Yes...now I can finally said that I am doing sadhana because I truly want to.
Previously it was my RA that keep me going..
Now I decide what I want to do...
Angamardhana...is what I want...it allows me to eat as much as I want without gaining weight...especially my desserts.
It made my body nimble...
It makes the asanas effortless.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Symbolo card - letting go of what I had
Aug 26 mor
The Symbolo cards I did yesterday truly reflect my inner feelings.
The Problem
The Lover
You are a prisoner of your own feelings of worthless-ness deep down inside. This under-estimation of yourself (the words "I don't like myself) must be allowed to come to the surface. It's no longer enough to use other people's labels or seek their attention in regard to whether they still like you or can be won over (will go to bed with you).
2.The way throught the problem
The fall
Somewhere along the way you have to relinquish your throne and the kingdom you worked so tirelessly to create. The task now is to seek the jester within yourself. But only if you are prepared to pack your belongings and get away for a while
3. The Outcome
Prevention
You will learn to harmonize your energies with the demands of fate. That means subjective desires give way to a higher aim and your energies can be made to flow again (in a new direction).
4. More guidance
Vanity Fair
Your relationship (or the relationship you seek) is hollow and empty at the moment because it is an ego-wish. Either you have become someone's "ornament" or you use your partner to inflate your own ego. Instead of achieving deep togetherness in your relationship, you find boredom and disinterest which you try to overcome with "games".
Soul
this seems to ring true for Osho tarot card.
m
The Symbolo cards I did yesterday truly reflect my inner feelings.
The Problem
The Lover
You are a prisoner of your own feelings of worthless-ness deep down inside. This under-estimation of yourself (the words "I don't like myself) must be allowed to come to the surface. It's no longer enough to use other people's labels or seek their attention in regard to whether they still like you or can be won over (will go to bed with you).
2.The way throught the problem
The fall
Somewhere along the way you have to relinquish your throne and the kingdom you worked so tirelessly to create. The task now is to seek the jester within yourself. But only if you are prepared to pack your belongings and get away for a while
3. The Outcome
Prevention
You will learn to harmonize your energies with the demands of fate. That means subjective desires give way to a higher aim and your energies can be made to flow again (in a new direction).
4. More guidance
Vanity Fair
Your relationship (or the relationship you seek) is hollow and empty at the moment because it is an ego-wish. Either you have become someone's "ornament" or you use your partner to inflate your own ego. Instead of achieving deep togetherness in your relationship, you find boredom and disinterest which you try to overcome with "games".
Soul
this seems to ring true for Osho tarot card.
m
Gudi, Dhynalinga and Sadhguru's sannidhi has to be together as my complete Shrine
Aug 26
Yesterday, once the flame is lighted for Gudi and Dhynalinga, a flow of energy came. Immediately my head shakes non stop. Sat there for a while. I know that I cannot have a separate place for sannidhi. All of them has to be together, complete.
Woke up with a dream of rat in my room at 3.45 am. Dragged myself to bathroom. Sat awhile in the toilet. Finally shower. Did Bhuta Shuddhi but unwilling to continue with practices. So I just go to sleep and put alarm at 7 am. I let my body decides. If body is okay it will wake up earlier. Slept and Body woke up upon alarm. Still bit groggy but jumped out of bed.
Not feeling great without sadhana but let body decides. I will not let sadhana be a chore.
Since no sadhana, I decide to have milk tea for breakfast instead of my normal hot lime juice.
Anyway, I recalled both V and Y also took a break from practices after Kailash. Will see.
Of Mystics and Mistakes
It is extremely important if we want to walk the spiritual path that we learn to keep the mind and emotion in a certain level of stability and let the rest of it go utterly crazy. If madness does not happen, then there is nothing new happening; we have not broken anything.
What we called "mad" is someone who has become different. He has crossed the barriers. Usually madness happens when he somehow breaks what u cannot break. When the logical part of u goes away, u are mad. And if that doesn't goes away, u will never know moments of ecstasy, u will never know moments of love, u will never know moments of utter peace.
If that part doesn't go away, u will not know meditation, u will not know dance, u will not know music.
U will only know body and mind.
If something beyond has to happen, somehow the logical thinking has to go.
When there is no logic, when there is nothing, everything flows through you. Whatever had to happen in this existence, it has to flow through u. U become the gateway. If u r willing, if u have the inclination, everything is within ur grasp.
Yesterday, once the flame is lighted for Gudi and Dhynalinga, a flow of energy came. Immediately my head shakes non stop. Sat there for a while. I know that I cannot have a separate place for sannidhi. All of them has to be together, complete.
Woke up with a dream of rat in my room at 3.45 am. Dragged myself to bathroom. Sat awhile in the toilet. Finally shower. Did Bhuta Shuddhi but unwilling to continue with practices. So I just go to sleep and put alarm at 7 am. I let my body decides. If body is okay it will wake up earlier. Slept and Body woke up upon alarm. Still bit groggy but jumped out of bed.
Not feeling great without sadhana but let body decides. I will not let sadhana be a chore.
Since no sadhana, I decide to have milk tea for breakfast instead of my normal hot lime juice.
Anyway, I recalled both V and Y also took a break from practices after Kailash. Will see.
Of Mystics and Mistakes
It is extremely important if we want to walk the spiritual path that we learn to keep the mind and emotion in a certain level of stability and let the rest of it go utterly crazy. If madness does not happen, then there is nothing new happening; we have not broken anything.
What we called "mad" is someone who has become different. He has crossed the barriers. Usually madness happens when he somehow breaks what u cannot break. When the logical part of u goes away, u are mad. And if that doesn't goes away, u will never know moments of ecstasy, u will never know moments of love, u will never know moments of utter peace.
If that part doesn't go away, u will not know meditation, u will not know dance, u will not know music.
U will only know body and mind.
If something beyond has to happen, somehow the logical thinking has to go.
When there is no logic, when there is nothing, everything flows through you. Whatever had to happen in this existence, it has to flow through u. U become the gateway. If u r willing, if u have the inclination, everything is within ur grasp.
Seven of Diamonds on Kailash
Aug 24 eve
Seven of Diamonds
We are confronted with how attached we are to our money and given an opportunity to experience the real prosperity that comes with an attitude of gratitude.
Whether it is plan to make money, or love, situations will present themselves that test our faith in the abundance of the universe. By realising and then releasing our fears, we can transform our attachment into total fearlessness and personal freedom.
Soul
Yes, first tot is on the monetary worth of the trip. Me being a Diamonds, always have price tag for everything.
Hence now I m evaluating Kailash trip from a value view point.
Not sure if this is clouding everything I experienced.
Lake Manasoravar
1. The night at Manasoravar where I may have caught hypothermia due to my wet sleeping bag. Alas I was saved by the energy from Manasoravar. After the jolt of energy, explosion into laughter and then finally sleep.
Next day, discover the wet bottom side of sleeping bag. Once it was dried by the hot afternoon sun, I slept cozily on second night.
Then me nearly caught hypothermia on my hands after the dip in Manasovar. Me dipping my head three times due to W. Truly thanks to her.
Me feeling the energy of Manasoravar, a mile away. Me exploding when just sitting in front of Manasoravar lake. Me exploding another round when the drop of water touch my head.
Kailash, my home. Feel so comfortable with him. The greatest sannidhi giving me energy to climb the steep plane. The process was like an initiation.
A tot came, Sadhguru said the focus not on external well being but on internal well being. That's my difficult part.
Seven of Diamonds
We are confronted with how attached we are to our money and given an opportunity to experience the real prosperity that comes with an attitude of gratitude.
Whether it is plan to make money, or love, situations will present themselves that test our faith in the abundance of the universe. By realising and then releasing our fears, we can transform our attachment into total fearlessness and personal freedom.
Soul
Yes, first tot is on the monetary worth of the trip. Me being a Diamonds, always have price tag for everything.
Hence now I m evaluating Kailash trip from a value view point.
Not sure if this is clouding everything I experienced.
Lake Manasoravar
1. The night at Manasoravar where I may have caught hypothermia due to my wet sleeping bag. Alas I was saved by the energy from Manasoravar. After the jolt of energy, explosion into laughter and then finally sleep.
Next day, discover the wet bottom side of sleeping bag. Once it was dried by the hot afternoon sun, I slept cozily on second night.
Then me nearly caught hypothermia on my hands after the dip in Manasovar. Me dipping my head three times due to W. Truly thanks to her.
Me feeling the energy of Manasoravar, a mile away. Me exploding when just sitting in front of Manasoravar lake. Me exploding another round when the drop of water touch my head.
Kailash, my home. Feel so comfortable with him. The greatest sannidhi giving me energy to climb the steep plane. The process was like an initiation.
A tot came, Sadhguru said the focus not on external well being but on internal well being. That's my difficult part.
Sadhguru - spiritual is not about seeking peace
Aug 25 aft
Just had a veg rice and followed up with oozing Choc fondant and decaf coffee. I felt I m back.
This is me.
Of mystics and mistakes
This is the whole effort. To take the experience of life beyond ur personality, to see that personality is something that u created. Once u aware that u have created it, u can create it whichever way u want. U do not have to be stuck with it one way or the other.
Soul
Mmmm.
I don't want to believe good comes out of suffering. Just like Sadhguru said spiritual is not what u do. U can be in pleasure or in austerity, both ways also can. I choose the middle ground.
Of mystics and mistakes
There is no such thing as spiritual peace, peace is of the physical and the mental. U can disturb the physical, u can disturb the psychological, but u cannot disturb that which is neither of these two things. So spiritual is neither seeking peace nor does it need peace.
If people do not lean on anything else; if they just sit here and don't look for anything from the outside - a relationship or psychological help, emotional help, nothing - then something wonderful can happen. If one can just sit here, one becomes like the Creator. A piece of creation naturally transforms itself into the Creator.
The essence of spiritual process needs to be understood as a means to generate the necessary intensity to break the bubble, so that u are out of ur individual nature. It is not about being good, it is not about being ethical, it is not about being moral. These things may happen. But u have no particular intention of being good!
Just had a veg rice and followed up with oozing Choc fondant and decaf coffee. I felt I m back.
This is me.
Of mystics and mistakes
This is the whole effort. To take the experience of life beyond ur personality, to see that personality is something that u created. Once u aware that u have created it, u can create it whichever way u want. U do not have to be stuck with it one way or the other.
Soul
Mmmm.
I don't want to believe good comes out of suffering. Just like Sadhguru said spiritual is not what u do. U can be in pleasure or in austerity, both ways also can. I choose the middle ground.
Of mystics and mistakes
There is no such thing as spiritual peace, peace is of the physical and the mental. U can disturb the physical, u can disturb the psychological, but u cannot disturb that which is neither of these two things. So spiritual is neither seeking peace nor does it need peace.
If people do not lean on anything else; if they just sit here and don't look for anything from the outside - a relationship or psychological help, emotional help, nothing - then something wonderful can happen. If one can just sit here, one becomes like the Creator. A piece of creation naturally transforms itself into the Creator.
The essence of spiritual process needs to be understood as a means to generate the necessary intensity to break the bubble, so that u are out of ur individual nature. It is not about being good, it is not about being ethical, it is not about being moral. These things may happen. But u have no particular intention of being good!
My life driven by values..what is my true values?
Aug 25
Woke up with a tot. I m no longer sure of anything; not even Sannidhi. Planning to postpone the decision till next year. This year I m beat. For now just want to be with my shrine.
Body woke up fresh at 3.45 am. Slept before 10 pm last night. Mind wander bit in the toilet.
Did Angamardhana; better than I expected after a two weeks break. My legs seems to be lighter. There was no pain on the right knee. Child posture easier than before. One thing I m sure of is keeping fit and that means continues with Angamardhana.
Surya Kriya was bit rusty but managed to have both feet touch ground in the first three mountain pose.
Breathing was bit laboured. Didn't stay long but body was in arashidharna posture.
Shakti was quite okay. Laughing towards the end.
Shambavi was okay too. Towards the end just silent contentment.
This year Three of Diamonds in Mercury; so true. Anyway, now starting Venus.
Mmm, a tot came. All my life is about values. I put monetary values above all. What about the value that I now know Shiva the energy is truly everywhere and that I have been experiencing it since initiation to Isha. I now know I m on the right track. Isn't that priceless??
Woke up with a tot. I m no longer sure of anything; not even Sannidhi. Planning to postpone the decision till next year. This year I m beat. For now just want to be with my shrine.
Body woke up fresh at 3.45 am. Slept before 10 pm last night. Mind wander bit in the toilet.
Did Angamardhana; better than I expected after a two weeks break. My legs seems to be lighter. There was no pain on the right knee. Child posture easier than before. One thing I m sure of is keeping fit and that means continues with Angamardhana.
Surya Kriya was bit rusty but managed to have both feet touch ground in the first three mountain pose.
Breathing was bit laboured. Didn't stay long but body was in arashidharna posture.
Shakti was quite okay. Laughing towards the end.
Shambavi was okay too. Towards the end just silent contentment.
This year Three of Diamonds in Mercury; so true. Anyway, now starting Venus.
Mmm, a tot came. All my life is about values. I put monetary values above all. What about the value that I now know Shiva the energy is truly everywhere and that I have been experiencing it since initiation to Isha. I now know I m on the right track. Isn't that priceless??
Tired after Kailash
Aug 24
Feeling bit lethargic. Felt I lost it for my sadhanas. I m not sure what I m feeling. Just not sure where I m heading.
Not sure if this Kailash trip is right for me. But somehow things did fall in place. I may not choose to go but the greatest sannidhi called.
Just light the flame of candles for both Dhynalinga yantra and Devi's pix. I can feel the soothing energy. Despite my resistance, the inner connection is there.
I always said Journey with Isha is like falling in love. Wonder if now I m falling out of love.
Few things in my mind.
1. The physical journey not worth the value paid; program is overrated.
2. The energy for Manasovar and Kailash is great but I can already feel the energy at ashram and at home, need not have to travel there.
3. My wish for my partner still remain unfulfilled.
Upon return, what I can see
1. Experience in sadhana is more intense.
2. Me becoming more receptive.
3. Me losing interest in sadhana
4. Me losing interest in Sadhguru.
5. Me losing interest in Sannidhi
For the first time in Isha, I am falling out. Finally understand what V meant when she said she just lost interest
Feeling bit lethargic. Felt I lost it for my sadhanas. I m not sure what I m feeling. Just not sure where I m heading.
Not sure if this Kailash trip is right for me. But somehow things did fall in place. I may not choose to go but the greatest sannidhi called.
Just light the flame of candles for both Dhynalinga yantra and Devi's pix. I can feel the soothing energy. Despite my resistance, the inner connection is there.
I always said Journey with Isha is like falling in love. Wonder if now I m falling out of love.
Few things in my mind.
1. The physical journey not worth the value paid; program is overrated.
2. The energy for Manasovar and Kailash is great but I can already feel the energy at ashram and at home, need not have to travel there.
3. My wish for my partner still remain unfulfilled.
Upon return, what I can see
1. Experience in sadhana is more intense.
2. Me becoming more receptive.
3. Me losing interest in sadhana
4. Me losing interest in Sadhguru.
5. Me losing interest in Sannidhi
For the first time in Isha, I am falling out. Finally understand what V meant when she said she just lost interest
Post Kailash, being myself without fear
Aug 23
Just pull back from invite on Z and wife. Told him that I am not ready to accept him into family event. I sent the invite to all who sent us condolence wreathe and didn't expect him to come. I am okay with him and wife on outside event.
After my honest feedback on Kailash, I m no longer afraid to be vulnerable especially with Z. With Kailash, knowing its okay to be who I am. Whoever is real will be there. Amen. Tears came. Tears of gladness of accepting myself. It is truly okay to be who I am; no apology; just as Kailash is on the most horrendous element.
That's my gift. To be who I am without fear. To express myself without fear. To be free of validation. Tears rolling out.
Just finished my practices. Sang guru pooja, cried loads and head shaking non stop. Did cat stretch followed by one cycle of Surya Kriya, managed to have first 3 mountain pose with both feet on the ground. Did abridged Shakti due to menses; head shaking at every interval despite not able to get the right sound even for 4252 breathing. Shambavi was awesome. Laughing in bliss at the end.
The experience was intense. One tot, allowing myself to be me whoever I may be.
When I woke up this morning, I feel the lovely energy of Dhynalinga yantra. Glad I have the consecrated space. Be more lovely with Sannidhi.
Aug 23 eve
Just slept 3 and half hours, body resting.
Had a nice time with my family. Niece and nephews too. Great to be back.
Feet are getting better. Will opt out tomorrow walk.
Light up my shrine and just sat there. For a moment tot if I should be getting Sannidhi. But I waived it off cos I knew that I truly want to. Sannidhi is home. Instead of lamenting I got two shrines. Be happy I have two. Can't wait to have Devi back with me.
The indecisiveness is due to tiredness from Kailash trip. Glad Three of Diamonds in Mercury is finally over.
Just pull back from invite on Z and wife. Told him that I am not ready to accept him into family event. I sent the invite to all who sent us condolence wreathe and didn't expect him to come. I am okay with him and wife on outside event.
After my honest feedback on Kailash, I m no longer afraid to be vulnerable especially with Z. With Kailash, knowing its okay to be who I am. Whoever is real will be there. Amen. Tears came. Tears of gladness of accepting myself. It is truly okay to be who I am; no apology; just as Kailash is on the most horrendous element.
That's my gift. To be who I am without fear. To express myself without fear. To be free of validation. Tears rolling out.
Just finished my practices. Sang guru pooja, cried loads and head shaking non stop. Did cat stretch followed by one cycle of Surya Kriya, managed to have first 3 mountain pose with both feet on the ground. Did abridged Shakti due to menses; head shaking at every interval despite not able to get the right sound even for 4252 breathing. Shambavi was awesome. Laughing in bliss at the end.
The experience was intense. One tot, allowing myself to be me whoever I may be.
When I woke up this morning, I feel the lovely energy of Dhynalinga yantra. Glad I have the consecrated space. Be more lovely with Sannidhi.
Aug 23 eve
Just slept 3 and half hours, body resting.
Had a nice time with my family. Niece and nephews too. Great to be back.
Feet are getting better. Will opt out tomorrow walk.
Light up my shrine and just sat there. For a moment tot if I should be getting Sannidhi. But I waived it off cos I knew that I truly want to. Sannidhi is home. Instead of lamenting I got two shrines. Be happy I have two. Can't wait to have Devi back with me.
The indecisiveness is due to tiredness from Kailash trip. Glad Three of Diamonds in Mercury is finally over.
Kailash is Dhynalinga and Lake Manasoravar is Teethakund in Isha ashram
Aug 22
Kailash trip is like life. So many aspects to it. Depends on which one I want to focus on.
If I focus on the money I paid, then the logistic/accomodation is no value for money. In my feedback form, I told Isha to present the trip as USD1.5k in values, and balance USD2.5k for donation.
Lake Manasoravar
Upon reaching the check point of the Lake, I can feel its energy, exploding into laughter, just feeling joyful
On the first night, woke up after midnight in the camp, feeling so cold. Not sure what is happening but I have already piled up my clothes. It was so cold that I don't know what else to do. Wondering if I die in the camp, die here in the Lake. Well, no regrets.
Suddenly a couple of dogs were howling, and I feel energy coming through my body. The energy were scanning my body, from my head to my toes like a MRT Scanner. Laughter exploded and I laughed for a very long time. Later, just slept and coldness no longer bothers me. Slept soundly till morning.
Next day, went for process at the Lake.
Brought a big garbage bag to sit on at the beach near the Lake.
As I lay down the garbage bag, suddenly I exploded into tears, crying not sure why. Then later laughing load.
During the initiation, it was like in Sathsang.
Later taking the dip, the water was cold, but I tot something similar to Teethakund. I walked till knee deep and was about to come out. My room mate, W, called me to walked back and take 3 dips with the head in the water. So exhilarating.
Kailash
When I reach the check point, suddenly an overwhelming need to cry. I just let the tears flow.
Prayed for a good poney and got myself a good one. It was a five hours on poney inclusive of intermittent stop.
Except for the pain in the foot the ride was good.
When I came down, I was totally fine, feeling fresh.
Slept well in the night.
Kailash looks so majestic, can feel its subtle energy, similar to Dhynalinga
The next day, I walked up to the high point of Kailash process.
It was a steep climb but alas I called out to Kailash for help, He came through. I felt a surge of energy and able to climb up okay.
The process was similar to Pancha Bhuta Aradhana process in Dhynalinga hall, albeit with chanting.
Its like in Dhynalinga but in open air.
Upon my return, I checked with others and they informed me that the Indian sees Kailash as the biggest Linga...so I am on the right track.
What is affirmed is that my meditational experience is real. My experience at Kailash is the same as my experience at home. No more doubts, no more uncertainty. I am different from others, but so be it.
I heard some whispering that I am indecent, laughing during the process.
During Lake Manasoravar process, I can hear only myself laughing.
In Kailash, I think I heard another guy.
During Sathsang with Sadhguru, he shares the story of Gnanapathy, son of Shiva and Shakti.
He said that Gnanapathy was the cut head of gnanas that surrounds Shiva.
The gnanas are always drunk, laughing indecently. Some of you can identify with that.
I felt an acceptance, yes I am drunk and I laugh incessantly.
Infact whenever I am with Sadhguru, laughter just came.
When I came out from Sathsang, a few meditators said they tot of me when Sadhguru shared on gnanas.
So I may be a gnanas in past life.
What I learned from Kailash, whatever meant to be, will be.
Alas, breaking my control
Kailash trip is like life. So many aspects to it. Depends on which one I want to focus on.
If I focus on the money I paid, then the logistic/accomodation is no value for money. In my feedback form, I told Isha to present the trip as USD1.5k in values, and balance USD2.5k for donation.
Lake Manasoravar
Upon reaching the check point of the Lake, I can feel its energy, exploding into laughter, just feeling joyful
On the first night, woke up after midnight in the camp, feeling so cold. Not sure what is happening but I have already piled up my clothes. It was so cold that I don't know what else to do. Wondering if I die in the camp, die here in the Lake. Well, no regrets.
Suddenly a couple of dogs were howling, and I feel energy coming through my body. The energy were scanning my body, from my head to my toes like a MRT Scanner. Laughter exploded and I laughed for a very long time. Later, just slept and coldness no longer bothers me. Slept soundly till morning.
Next day, went for process at the Lake.
Brought a big garbage bag to sit on at the beach near the Lake.
As I lay down the garbage bag, suddenly I exploded into tears, crying not sure why. Then later laughing load.
During the initiation, it was like in Sathsang.
Later taking the dip, the water was cold, but I tot something similar to Teethakund. I walked till knee deep and was about to come out. My room mate, W, called me to walked back and take 3 dips with the head in the water. So exhilarating.
Kailash
When I reach the check point, suddenly an overwhelming need to cry. I just let the tears flow.
Prayed for a good poney and got myself a good one. It was a five hours on poney inclusive of intermittent stop.
Except for the pain in the foot the ride was good.
When I came down, I was totally fine, feeling fresh.
Slept well in the night.
Kailash looks so majestic, can feel its subtle energy, similar to Dhynalinga
The next day, I walked up to the high point of Kailash process.
It was a steep climb but alas I called out to Kailash for help, He came through. I felt a surge of energy and able to climb up okay.
The process was similar to Pancha Bhuta Aradhana process in Dhynalinga hall, albeit with chanting.
Its like in Dhynalinga but in open air.
Upon my return, I checked with others and they informed me that the Indian sees Kailash as the biggest Linga...so I am on the right track.
What is affirmed is that my meditational experience is real. My experience at Kailash is the same as my experience at home. No more doubts, no more uncertainty. I am different from others, but so be it.
I heard some whispering that I am indecent, laughing during the process.
During Lake Manasoravar process, I can hear only myself laughing.
In Kailash, I think I heard another guy.
During Sathsang with Sadhguru, he shares the story of Gnanapathy, son of Shiva and Shakti.
He said that Gnanapathy was the cut head of gnanas that surrounds Shiva.
The gnanas are always drunk, laughing indecently. Some of you can identify with that.
I felt an acceptance, yes I am drunk and I laugh incessantly.
Infact whenever I am with Sadhguru, laughter just came.
When I came out from Sathsang, a few meditators said they tot of me when Sadhguru shared on gnanas.
So I may be a gnanas in past life.
What I learned from Kailash, whatever meant to be, will be.
Alas, breaking my control
Monday, September 15, 2014
Kailash - landslide, my first hiking helped by Sadhguru's energy
Aug 12
Fourth day in Kailash
There was major landslide and the road connecting Kathmandu to border of Tibet was damaged. So we had to do a trek. I wasn't prepared for the track as they said 6 to 7 km. We tot it was just a simple walking. Next morning they announced it as 3 and half hour track.
I was not prepared. First time trekking in the hill. When we reach there I didn't use the porter cos I knew this was a test for me. I knew Kailash be easy for me so I need something extra to appreciate it. Going higher up I can feel my energy rising. I need to sleep less hours and body fully alert. Practices was phenomenal. Energy is double the sadhana hall in Ashram.
It was raining, wearing the raincoat and carrying small hoversack and climbing I become totally exhausted. I had to stop cos feeling faint and wanted to puke. I then decide to give my bag to the porter.
Minutes later I had to stopped cos I puked. Luckily a guy (doctor) stopped by and gave me water and found electrolyte for me. He asked me to focus my eyes on him. Minutes later I regained my energy.
About 15 minutes later I was hiking again but was about to go up treacherous spot and couldn't climb up.
Saw a green jacket guy and called up to him but he can't hear me. He too was exhausted. I gave him my electrolyte water and he revived. We then walk together. He told me he was very fit but the rain coat was too hot. He then proceed to hold my hand and we hike together for about (3 hours) 75 percent of the journey. I told him Sadhguru must have sent him cos I couldn't do it on my own. He said its a form of giving, his volunteering.
While my energy was there but I won't be able to cross treacherous spots. Only when we reach safe ground he went away on his own. I walked the last one hour in the heat but my body was okay with the heat but by then was really tired. There was also a 1.2 km bridge about the rushing river. I was okay to cross, focusing on the hill beyond. I didn't look down. But I was not prepared for so many people to walk at same time and they are carrying heavy bundle of luggages. I was chanting Brahmanda throughout thr walk.
I am so thankful for the hiking shoes that is totally water proof as the hill was muddy and slushy and many spots of running mountain water.
The hike was for 5 hours. This is a miracle. When others heard that I was doing this for first time they were amazed. I reached average time. They asked me how I feel. I said I it is not me, it was Sadhguru.
This morning practices was awesome. Despite my ache Shakti was great. Laughing at every cycle of Kapala Bhakti. Now able to sit through the three cycle of Kapala Bhakti before rest. In the end I was clapping, head shaking and singing. The singing continued to preparatory steps of Shambavi. I m so glad I have my Bhuta Shuddi with me as the duffel bag is not with us.
Had the Diamox pill, side effect for me is tingling fingers and some numbness on my face..and is bloating
Fourth day in Kailash
There was major landslide and the road connecting Kathmandu to border of Tibet was damaged. So we had to do a trek. I wasn't prepared for the track as they said 6 to 7 km. We tot it was just a simple walking. Next morning they announced it as 3 and half hour track.
I was not prepared. First time trekking in the hill. When we reach there I didn't use the porter cos I knew this was a test for me. I knew Kailash be easy for me so I need something extra to appreciate it. Going higher up I can feel my energy rising. I need to sleep less hours and body fully alert. Practices was phenomenal. Energy is double the sadhana hall in Ashram.
It was raining, wearing the raincoat and carrying small hoversack and climbing I become totally exhausted. I had to stop cos feeling faint and wanted to puke. I then decide to give my bag to the porter.
Minutes later I had to stopped cos I puked. Luckily a guy (doctor) stopped by and gave me water and found electrolyte for me. He asked me to focus my eyes on him. Minutes later I regained my energy.
About 15 minutes later I was hiking again but was about to go up treacherous spot and couldn't climb up.
Saw a green jacket guy and called up to him but he can't hear me. He too was exhausted. I gave him my electrolyte water and he revived. We then walk together. He told me he was very fit but the rain coat was too hot. He then proceed to hold my hand and we hike together for about (3 hours) 75 percent of the journey. I told him Sadhguru must have sent him cos I couldn't do it on my own. He said its a form of giving, his volunteering.
While my energy was there but I won't be able to cross treacherous spots. Only when we reach safe ground he went away on his own. I walked the last one hour in the heat but my body was okay with the heat but by then was really tired. There was also a 1.2 km bridge about the rushing river. I was okay to cross, focusing on the hill beyond. I didn't look down. But I was not prepared for so many people to walk at same time and they are carrying heavy bundle of luggages. I was chanting Brahmanda throughout thr walk.
I am so thankful for the hiking shoes that is totally water proof as the hill was muddy and slushy and many spots of running mountain water.
The hike was for 5 hours. This is a miracle. When others heard that I was doing this for first time they were amazed. I reached average time. They asked me how I feel. I said I it is not me, it was Sadhguru.
This morning practices was awesome. Despite my ache Shakti was great. Laughing at every cycle of Kapala Bhakti. Now able to sit through the three cycle of Kapala Bhakti before rest. In the end I was clapping, head shaking and singing. The singing continued to preparatory steps of Shambavi. I m so glad I have my Bhuta Shuddi with me as the duffel bag is not with us.
Had the Diamox pill, side effect for me is tingling fingers and some numbness on my face..and is bloating
Kailash - second day in Kathmandu, great energy
Aug 10
Woke up wide awake at 3 am, approx 5 am my local time. Try to sleep but can't and in the end woke up at 3.40 am. Shower and did my practices.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Did a slow cat stretch feeling all the sensation. Can sense the middle back spine being stretched. Did one cycle of Surya Kriya, both feet easily touch the ground in the four mountain pose. At the end laughing loads even while lying down in Shavasana.
Energy in Kathmandu was awesome. Breathing was lovely, smiling and singing like in Samyama program. Shakti was great too. In the middle was bit distracted by the room mate singing but I just focus. Towards the end singing and clapping. Shambavi was great too. Laughing at aum chanting. Towards the end laughing loads. Has been awhile. The energy in Kathmandu is awesome. I felt as if I m sitting with my shrine. Even stronger than the shrine.
This morning Sathsang with Sadhguru video. Started Brahmanda and immediately tears fell. I felt overwhelmed with Sadhguru presence. I was crying loads with nose all blocked.
Sadhguru video. He said don't approach Kailash like a tourist taking pictures nor approach it like Hindu, a religion. It will then be a psychological journey creating own drama.
Just be there, sense the reverberation of Kailash. Just be open and accept the energy. The energy is the ultimate knowledge.
I cried when I hear him say that. All my doubt released and I m glad that I too finally caught it by thinking of it as the greatest Sannidhi in the world, naturally consecrated space. And that's exactly what Sadhguru is saying. Then later we were given a tumeric thread bangle, with Linga song in the background. The yellow thread is to allow Sadhguru to carry us while our heart in Kailash. Again tears flow. Father, Kailash is already carrying me.
Woke up wide awake at 3 am, approx 5 am my local time. Try to sleep but can't and in the end woke up at 3.40 am. Shower and did my practices.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Did a slow cat stretch feeling all the sensation. Can sense the middle back spine being stretched. Did one cycle of Surya Kriya, both feet easily touch the ground in the four mountain pose. At the end laughing loads even while lying down in Shavasana.
Energy in Kathmandu was awesome. Breathing was lovely, smiling and singing like in Samyama program. Shakti was great too. In the middle was bit distracted by the room mate singing but I just focus. Towards the end singing and clapping. Shambavi was great too. Laughing at aum chanting. Towards the end laughing loads. Has been awhile. The energy in Kathmandu is awesome. I felt as if I m sitting with my shrine. Even stronger than the shrine.
This morning Sathsang with Sadhguru video. Started Brahmanda and immediately tears fell. I felt overwhelmed with Sadhguru presence. I was crying loads with nose all blocked.
Sadhguru video. He said don't approach Kailash like a tourist taking pictures nor approach it like Hindu, a religion. It will then be a psychological journey creating own drama.
Just be there, sense the reverberation of Kailash. Just be open and accept the energy. The energy is the ultimate knowledge.
I cried when I hear him say that. All my doubt released and I m glad that I too finally caught it by thinking of it as the greatest Sannidhi in the world, naturally consecrated space. And that's exactly what Sadhguru is saying. Then later we were given a tumeric thread bangle, with Linga song in the background. The yellow thread is to allow Sadhguru to carry us while our heart in Kailash. Again tears flow. Father, Kailash is already carrying me.
Sadhguru - when you sit with me, receive a blast of energy
Aug 9 eve
Kathmandu
First evening in Kathmandu.
Bought a good water proof pants for USD83 instead of USD156 and it is a better pants. Just now the other said just buy rain coat but that is not breathable and not meant to sleep in. I can wear it like normal pants and inside wear another cotton pants and long john. I be good.
Of mystics and mistakes
If u demolish all ur limited assumptions and u sit here blank, that is when u are receptive. Then there is a blast of energy, which is true knowing. See, in my experience, knowledge and energy are not two different things. When u receive a certain energy, u also get to know something.
So essentially, when u sit with me, u receive a blast of energy. This is how the transmission of mysticism happens.
Soul
Yes that's true for me.
Nose is truly blocked. Guess delayed medication. Just ate the antibiotic and nose block. Now I know why I wake up alert yesterday. Suddenly the nose was not blocked.
Father, just go with the flow.
Kathmandu
First evening in Kathmandu.
Bought a good water proof pants for USD83 instead of USD156 and it is a better pants. Just now the other said just buy rain coat but that is not breathable and not meant to sleep in. I can wear it like normal pants and inside wear another cotton pants and long john. I be good.
Of mystics and mistakes
If u demolish all ur limited assumptions and u sit here blank, that is when u are receptive. Then there is a blast of energy, which is true knowing. See, in my experience, knowledge and energy are not two different things. When u receive a certain energy, u also get to know something.
So essentially, when u sit with me, u receive a blast of energy. This is how the transmission of mysticism happens.
Soul
Yes that's true for me.
Nose is truly blocked. Guess delayed medication. Just ate the antibiotic and nose block. Now I know why I wake up alert yesterday. Suddenly the nose was not blocked.
Father, just go with the flow.
Sadhguru; genuine spirituality is self-transformation
Aug 9 aft
Of mystic and mistakes
A journey from a life of mechanical auto pilot to a life of freedom and grace. It is a journey for those willing to take risks, for those willing to travel beyond the limited and unreliable matrix of the five senses, for those willing to open their doors and windows and let the sunlight in. It takes a conversion to total receptivity.
You can convert this human system into absolute receptivity where u perceive life in ways that u have never believed possible. Receptivity doesn't come easy; it entails putting aside one's ideas, emotions and long held identifications, with no guaranteed dividends in store. And yet spiritual life will settle for nothing less. When dominated by the human intellect, life is merely a circus. But when dominated by the human intelligence, it is nothing less than a dance.
This dance entails discernment: between clarity born of realisation, between magic and mysticism, between a spurious spirituality and authentic mysticism.
The only index of any genuine spirituality is self-transformation. A spiritual process that doesn't produce joyful and intense human beings is worth nothing.
Mysticism is not for those seeking mastery but for those seeking freedom. And the journey towards that freedom is an "intoxication" that is "not sanity", entails an understanding of how to be intense but not tense, relaxed but no lax.
Soul
Ever since yesterday evening a background tot is saying what if my perception, my interpretation, my belief of my failure in romantic relationships, of being unlovable is not true.
Hearing what R said about all the so called mundane life of marriage and children is obstacle to her becoming spiritual and in my case I tot I m a failure for not having mundane life. Others see me as blessed for able to pursue my spiritual path. I didn't see it as blessing I just go with the flow and besides I sometimes see it as suffering or challenges I have to go through to get the mundane life that everyone else seems to have.
What if others are correct and I m wrong.
Just as I don't judge others for their having mundane life; why I judge myself for not having. Why I always does comparison and find myself lacking.
Am I not doing what I truly want and value. Yes.
Of mystics and mistakes
This human system comes with a different kind of possibility. As an instrument of perception, if u raise it in pitch, u will see it can perceive things in a completely different way from what people normally perceive for the sake of survival.
Human being comes with a certain capability of doing something beyond the instinct of survival. This is the most important thing: that u can handle life beyond the needs of survival. If u don't, u will only understand eating, sleeping, reproducing and dying one day. That is all life will be. Most human being, instead of looking beyond the needs of survival, have just raised their standard of survival.
Whatever u see with this two eyes is a mistake. Only when u see beyond that do u become a mystic. So there are only two kinds of people: mystics and mistakes. There is a big mistakes about the way we perceive life. When it get corrected, people think u are a mystical because u are beginning to perceive life in such a way that u can never fit into logic. Logic is just a small part of ur life. U can fit logic into ur life but never life into logic. So once u know that u are a mistake, then u are potential mystic.
Soul
With ISHA, I just flow with the energy. The energy leads me to action. The tools and space that Sadhguru offers activate my energy and they become active and take the forefront. Hence my life is now on sadhana, seafoodtarian and consecrated space.
What about my mundane life? Did I let my energy lead me or my mind? I say, my mind.
Mystics and mistakes
Mysticism will not happen because u have tot about it; it will not happen because u have read about it; it will not happen because u have heard a lot about it.
Perception happens not because u want it. It happens because u open the windows. What has to happen will happen.
Soul
Maybe that's why it happens to me, all my blissfulness in practices. My receptivity to Sadhguru and his tools and consecrated space.
I have no yearning for Guru, no yearning for mysticism. No yearning for sacredness. I just want to be freed of myself, my mind. I just want to be happy on my own. I want to be freed.
Dhynalinga yantra came to me and now I am hooked on my shrine.
Even now on flight to Kailash, others yearned for it. Not me, never. And now I m here.
Kailash is the greatest natural consecrated space. It is the greatest sannidhi. It is my home.
I am at home with my shrine of Dhynalinga yantra and Linga's Gudi. I am so at home with Sadhguru Sannidhi. So with the greatest Sanndhi, I can only be more at home.
Of mystic and mistakes
A journey from a life of mechanical auto pilot to a life of freedom and grace. It is a journey for those willing to take risks, for those willing to travel beyond the limited and unreliable matrix of the five senses, for those willing to open their doors and windows and let the sunlight in. It takes a conversion to total receptivity.
You can convert this human system into absolute receptivity where u perceive life in ways that u have never believed possible. Receptivity doesn't come easy; it entails putting aside one's ideas, emotions and long held identifications, with no guaranteed dividends in store. And yet spiritual life will settle for nothing less. When dominated by the human intellect, life is merely a circus. But when dominated by the human intelligence, it is nothing less than a dance.
This dance entails discernment: between clarity born of realisation, between magic and mysticism, between a spurious spirituality and authentic mysticism.
The only index of any genuine spirituality is self-transformation. A spiritual process that doesn't produce joyful and intense human beings is worth nothing.
Mysticism is not for those seeking mastery but for those seeking freedom. And the journey towards that freedom is an "intoxication" that is "not sanity", entails an understanding of how to be intense but not tense, relaxed but no lax.
Soul
Ever since yesterday evening a background tot is saying what if my perception, my interpretation, my belief of my failure in romantic relationships, of being unlovable is not true.
Hearing what R said about all the so called mundane life of marriage and children is obstacle to her becoming spiritual and in my case I tot I m a failure for not having mundane life. Others see me as blessed for able to pursue my spiritual path. I didn't see it as blessing I just go with the flow and besides I sometimes see it as suffering or challenges I have to go through to get the mundane life that everyone else seems to have.
What if others are correct and I m wrong.
Just as I don't judge others for their having mundane life; why I judge myself for not having. Why I always does comparison and find myself lacking.
Am I not doing what I truly want and value. Yes.
Of mystics and mistakes
This human system comes with a different kind of possibility. As an instrument of perception, if u raise it in pitch, u will see it can perceive things in a completely different way from what people normally perceive for the sake of survival.
Human being comes with a certain capability of doing something beyond the instinct of survival. This is the most important thing: that u can handle life beyond the needs of survival. If u don't, u will only understand eating, sleeping, reproducing and dying one day. That is all life will be. Most human being, instead of looking beyond the needs of survival, have just raised their standard of survival.
Whatever u see with this two eyes is a mistake. Only when u see beyond that do u become a mystic. So there are only two kinds of people: mystics and mistakes. There is a big mistakes about the way we perceive life. When it get corrected, people think u are a mystical because u are beginning to perceive life in such a way that u can never fit into logic. Logic is just a small part of ur life. U can fit logic into ur life but never life into logic. So once u know that u are a mistake, then u are potential mystic.
Soul
With ISHA, I just flow with the energy. The energy leads me to action. The tools and space that Sadhguru offers activate my energy and they become active and take the forefront. Hence my life is now on sadhana, seafoodtarian and consecrated space.
What about my mundane life? Did I let my energy lead me or my mind? I say, my mind.
Mystics and mistakes
Mysticism will not happen because u have tot about it; it will not happen because u have read about it; it will not happen because u have heard a lot about it.
Perception happens not because u want it. It happens because u open the windows. What has to happen will happen.
Soul
Maybe that's why it happens to me, all my blissfulness in practices. My receptivity to Sadhguru and his tools and consecrated space.
I have no yearning for Guru, no yearning for mysticism. No yearning for sacredness. I just want to be freed of myself, my mind. I just want to be happy on my own. I want to be freed.
Dhynalinga yantra came to me and now I am hooked on my shrine.
Even now on flight to Kailash, others yearned for it. Not me, never. And now I m here.
Kailash is the greatest natural consecrated space. It is the greatest sannidhi. It is my home.
I am at home with my shrine of Dhynalinga yantra and Linga's Gudi. I am so at home with Sadhguru Sannidhi. So with the greatest Sanndhi, I can only be more at home.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Kailash - flying out to Kathmandu
Aug 9
Woke up before 3 am body feel so refreshed as if received an injection of energy. Nose block disappear. Try to sleep back but can't as body wide awake. This is surprising as I slept at nearly 11.40 pm yesterday and with flu and muscle relaxant pills. Should have been groggy.
Finally woke up at 4 am to do practices. Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by singing guru pooja. Did cat stretch followed by one cycle of Guru pooja. Perfect with both feet on the ground in all mountain pose. This is without doing Angamardana. Amazing. I recalled that I said I want to breakthrough my body before I go Kailash. There is a breakthrough on Surya Kriya. What I tot was impossible finally happen.
Shakti was awesome. I was singing at the end of Kapala Bhakti. Never happen before. Towards the end head shaking non stop and clapping furiously.
No time for Shambavi but just did the preparatory steps. Then followed by breathe watching.
Arrive at the airport.
Forgot to wear the second track top. Maybe blessing in disguise as I already got the other black jacket from Taiwan. I had packed shawls and one wool cum silk shawl. So be good. The other track top in baggage.
Mmmm just remember that I got big heavy duty jacket in my carrier. So no worry on landing in Kathmandu. Like I said a blessing in disguise.
Father, now I know. Go with the flow. Whatever happens. Even the flu bug yesterday was good. So possibly those relationships that I tot failed may not be failure. They are ending of relationships. That's all. I need not automatically labled it as failure. Amen.
Mmm, truly meant to hear what R has to say.
My path is inner and all outer ends if it does not support my inner. I didn't know my own values.
Woke up before 3 am body feel so refreshed as if received an injection of energy. Nose block disappear. Try to sleep back but can't as body wide awake. This is surprising as I slept at nearly 11.40 pm yesterday and with flu and muscle relaxant pills. Should have been groggy.
Finally woke up at 4 am to do practices. Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by singing guru pooja. Did cat stretch followed by one cycle of Guru pooja. Perfect with both feet on the ground in all mountain pose. This is without doing Angamardana. Amazing. I recalled that I said I want to breakthrough my body before I go Kailash. There is a breakthrough on Surya Kriya. What I tot was impossible finally happen.
Shakti was awesome. I was singing at the end of Kapala Bhakti. Never happen before. Towards the end head shaking non stop and clapping furiously.
No time for Shambavi but just did the preparatory steps. Then followed by breathe watching.
Arrive at the airport.
Forgot to wear the second track top. Maybe blessing in disguise as I already got the other black jacket from Taiwan. I had packed shawls and one wool cum silk shawl. So be good. The other track top in baggage.
Mmmm just remember that I got big heavy duty jacket in my carrier. So no worry on landing in Kathmandu. Like I said a blessing in disguise.
Father, now I know. Go with the flow. Whatever happens. Even the flu bug yesterday was good. So possibly those relationships that I tot failed may not be failure. They are ending of relationships. That's all. I need not automatically labled it as failure. Amen.
Mmm, truly meant to hear what R has to say.
My path is inner and all outer ends if it does not support my inner. I didn't know my own values.
Osho tarot for Kailash
Aug 8 eve
This week Osho tarot. Would have done another reading if I got my lap top but I know this one still valid for next 2 weeks.
1. The Issue
Mind
The rubbish goes on moving in ur head; ur head goes on spinning and weaving - it keeps u occupied. The mind is constantly there, surround u like a cloud. With this cloud, u cannot know reality, u cannot attain to spiritual perception. This cloud has to be dropped. And it is just with ur decision to drop that it will disappear. U are clinging to it - the cloud is not interested in u, remember it.
2. Internal influence that you are unaware
Ordinariness
Sometimes it happens that u become one, in some rare moments, u forget ur split, ur schizophrenia; u relax. Or, moving in the Himalayas, seeing the virgin snow on the Himalaya peaks, suddenly a coolness surrounds u and u need not be false because there is no other human being to be false to. U fall together.
There is no need to wait for these moments. These natural moments can become ur natural life. U can perfectly at ease - because the whole question is of u doing ur action totally, enjoying, delighting in it.
The special gift u have to offer now is presented best by just taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
3. External influence of which u are aware
Existence
U are not accidental. Existence needs u. Without u, something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it. That's what gives you dignity, that the whole existence will miss u.
This gives u a tremendous joy, a fulfilment that u are related to existence and existence cares for u. Once u are clean and clear, u can see tremendous love falling on u from all dimensions.
Now is the time to look whether u are allowing urself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at home" wherever u are. If u are, be sure to savour it so it can deepen and remain with u. If on the other hand, u have been feeling like the world is out to get u, its time to take a break
Soul
Yes, my flu bug is to ask me to take a break. It has been a hectic two weeks of preparing for Kailash and finally got a whole day to rest before the flight tomorrow morning.
5. What's needed for resolution?
Beyond illusion
The capacity to doubt is the greatest blessings to humanity. Illusion does not exist. Reality exists. Maya is just in between.
The butterfly represents the outer, that which is constantly moving and that which is not real but an illusion. Behind the butterfly is the face of consciousness, looking inward to that which is eternal. The space between two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness.
Through the rising of the inner sun, meditation is born. This card reminds us not to look outside for what is real, but to look within.
When we focus on externals, we too often get caught up in judgments - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want that. These judgements keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.
Drop ur opinionated mind and move inside. There, u can relax into ur own deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is already known.
Soul
A tot came. What if my belief that I m unlovable because both Z and Y left me is not true. What if it a real blessing.
Yesterday chat with R was a surprise. Suddenly telling me her life, from her lack of career to marriage was a hindrance to spiritual longing. She said I m so blessed to be able to do what I do and to go to Kailash too. Everyone tells me that I m blessed and yet I can't see it.
What if they are right and I m wrong.
I may not have found external home in partner but I have found internal home with my shrine and sannidhi.
And now going to the greatest sannidhi of all, Kailash.
Mmm, Sadhguru said he is most comfortable in Kailash, he can just be himself, he is completely at home. The same will be for me.
My journey in Isha is like falling in love, natural unfoldment. Whatever that was meant for me, just happen even without me asking for it.
What if I just go with the flow; the flow of inner life vs external.
5. Resolution
Silence
The energy of the whole had taken possession of u. U are possessed, u are no more, the whole is. This moment, as the silence penetrates in u, u can understand the significance of it, because it is the same silence that Gautam Buddha experienced. The taste of silence is the same.
Time changes, the world goes on changing but the experience of silence, the joy of it, remains the same. This is the only thing that u can rely upon, the only thing that never dies. It is the only thing that u can call ur being.
The silent, mirror like receptiveness of a star filled night with a full moon is reflected in the misty lake below. The face in the sky is deep in meditation, a goddess of the night who brings depth, peace and understanding. Now is a very precious time. It will be easy for u to rest inside, to plumb the depth of ur own inner silence to the point that it meets the silence of the universe.
There's nothing to do, nowhere to go and the quality of ur inner silence permeates everything that u do.
Seek out those who can resonates with ur silence or enjoy ur aloneness.
Now is the time to come home to yourself.
The understanding and insights that come to u in these moments will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of ur life.
Soul
Again,,, home.
This week Osho tarot. Would have done another reading if I got my lap top but I know this one still valid for next 2 weeks.
1. The Issue
Mind
The rubbish goes on moving in ur head; ur head goes on spinning and weaving - it keeps u occupied. The mind is constantly there, surround u like a cloud. With this cloud, u cannot know reality, u cannot attain to spiritual perception. This cloud has to be dropped. And it is just with ur decision to drop that it will disappear. U are clinging to it - the cloud is not interested in u, remember it.
2. Internal influence that you are unaware
Ordinariness
Sometimes it happens that u become one, in some rare moments, u forget ur split, ur schizophrenia; u relax. Or, moving in the Himalayas, seeing the virgin snow on the Himalaya peaks, suddenly a coolness surrounds u and u need not be false because there is no other human being to be false to. U fall together.
There is no need to wait for these moments. These natural moments can become ur natural life. U can perfectly at ease - because the whole question is of u doing ur action totally, enjoying, delighting in it.
The special gift u have to offer now is presented best by just taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
3. External influence of which u are aware
Existence
U are not accidental. Existence needs u. Without u, something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it. That's what gives you dignity, that the whole existence will miss u.
This gives u a tremendous joy, a fulfilment that u are related to existence and existence cares for u. Once u are clean and clear, u can see tremendous love falling on u from all dimensions.
Now is the time to look whether u are allowing urself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at home" wherever u are. If u are, be sure to savour it so it can deepen and remain with u. If on the other hand, u have been feeling like the world is out to get u, its time to take a break
Soul
Yes, my flu bug is to ask me to take a break. It has been a hectic two weeks of preparing for Kailash and finally got a whole day to rest before the flight tomorrow morning.
5. What's needed for resolution?
Beyond illusion
The capacity to doubt is the greatest blessings to humanity. Illusion does not exist. Reality exists. Maya is just in between.
The butterfly represents the outer, that which is constantly moving and that which is not real but an illusion. Behind the butterfly is the face of consciousness, looking inward to that which is eternal. The space between two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness.
Through the rising of the inner sun, meditation is born. This card reminds us not to look outside for what is real, but to look within.
When we focus on externals, we too often get caught up in judgments - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want that. These judgements keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.
Drop ur opinionated mind and move inside. There, u can relax into ur own deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is already known.
Soul
A tot came. What if my belief that I m unlovable because both Z and Y left me is not true. What if it a real blessing.
Yesterday chat with R was a surprise. Suddenly telling me her life, from her lack of career to marriage was a hindrance to spiritual longing. She said I m so blessed to be able to do what I do and to go to Kailash too. Everyone tells me that I m blessed and yet I can't see it.
What if they are right and I m wrong.
I may not have found external home in partner but I have found internal home with my shrine and sannidhi.
And now going to the greatest sannidhi of all, Kailash.
Mmm, Sadhguru said he is most comfortable in Kailash, he can just be himself, he is completely at home. The same will be for me.
My journey in Isha is like falling in love, natural unfoldment. Whatever that was meant for me, just happen even without me asking for it.
What if I just go with the flow; the flow of inner life vs external.
5. Resolution
Silence
The energy of the whole had taken possession of u. U are possessed, u are no more, the whole is. This moment, as the silence penetrates in u, u can understand the significance of it, because it is the same silence that Gautam Buddha experienced. The taste of silence is the same.
Time changes, the world goes on changing but the experience of silence, the joy of it, remains the same. This is the only thing that u can rely upon, the only thing that never dies. It is the only thing that u can call ur being.
The silent, mirror like receptiveness of a star filled night with a full moon is reflected in the misty lake below. The face in the sky is deep in meditation, a goddess of the night who brings depth, peace and understanding. Now is a very precious time. It will be easy for u to rest inside, to plumb the depth of ur own inner silence to the point that it meets the silence of the universe.
There's nothing to do, nowhere to go and the quality of ur inner silence permeates everything that u do.
Seek out those who can resonates with ur silence or enjoy ur aloneness.
Now is the time to come home to yourself.
The understanding and insights that come to u in these moments will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of ur life.
Soul
Again,,, home.
Awesome sadhana experience.
Aug 8
Woke up around 5 plus am due to nose block and also body awake. Try to sleep back but couldn't. So wake up early at 6.22 am since need to queue up to see doctor.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by guru pooja.
Angamardhana was the best so far. Another breakthrough in Angamardhana. Finally my knee can touch my forehead in lying down posture.
On the hero posture, no more heavy stretch just a light one. Slowly getting into it. Also glad that my right knee is healed.
Surya kriya was deep, didn't open up as often to check alignment. Able to touch both feet to the ground for the four mountain pose.
Shakti was awesome. Singing even at end of Kapala Bhakti, first time. Towards the end clapping and head shaking furiously. These days becoming more aware of my tots so less disruptions to the Kapala Bhakti count.
Shambavi was great too. Aum chanting head shaking furiously. Singing in the end. Been awhile.
Decided not to rush on the water proof pants. Will buy in Nepal. Anyway, since m taking normal size, unlikely to have 70 percent discount, at the most 20 percent.
Whatever remains can buy in Nepal or even Tibet. If not enough money can borrow from friends.
Caught the flu bug and tomorrow flying off to Nepal for Kailash with Sadhguru. This must have the sign that I need a rest. Been running around buying things for Kailash, over prepared. Not going to worry. Anything else missing can buy in Nepal.
Glad the flu bug slow me down. Just spend easy time at home. Good rest.
Now just want to take care of body.
Aug 8 aft
Life mysteries
The first thing that happens to the enlightened person is a deep belly laughter - for the sheer stupidity that he has been searching for something which is within himself. He has been carrying it for centuries within himself and he never looked there; and he looked all over the world, carrying within himself the treasure which was available within a minute.
Just close ur eyes ... be silent ...and it is there.
Soul
So true in Shoonya and sitting with my shrine.
Woke up around 5 plus am due to nose block and also body awake. Try to sleep back but couldn't. So wake up early at 6.22 am since need to queue up to see doctor.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by guru pooja.
Angamardhana was the best so far. Another breakthrough in Angamardhana. Finally my knee can touch my forehead in lying down posture.
On the hero posture, no more heavy stretch just a light one. Slowly getting into it. Also glad that my right knee is healed.
Surya kriya was deep, didn't open up as often to check alignment. Able to touch both feet to the ground for the four mountain pose.
Shakti was awesome. Singing even at end of Kapala Bhakti, first time. Towards the end clapping and head shaking furiously. These days becoming more aware of my tots so less disruptions to the Kapala Bhakti count.
Shambavi was great too. Aum chanting head shaking furiously. Singing in the end. Been awhile.
Decided not to rush on the water proof pants. Will buy in Nepal. Anyway, since m taking normal size, unlikely to have 70 percent discount, at the most 20 percent.
Whatever remains can buy in Nepal or even Tibet. If not enough money can borrow from friends.
Caught the flu bug and tomorrow flying off to Nepal for Kailash with Sadhguru. This must have the sign that I need a rest. Been running around buying things for Kailash, over prepared. Not going to worry. Anything else missing can buy in Nepal.
Glad the flu bug slow me down. Just spend easy time at home. Good rest.
Now just want to take care of body.
Aug 8 aft
Life mysteries
The first thing that happens to the enlightened person is a deep belly laughter - for the sheer stupidity that he has been searching for something which is within himself. He has been carrying it for centuries within himself and he never looked there; and he looked all over the world, carrying within himself the treasure which was available within a minute.
Just close ur eyes ... be silent ...and it is there.
Soul
So true in Shoonya and sitting with my shrine.
Only when I love myself, I can share
Aug 7 aft
Life mysteries
Love cancel gravity, love cancel burden. Out of love any response is beautiful. Without love, responsibility is ugly, simply shows that u have a mind of a slave.
Soul
Tot of myself. When I m in need of validation, my volunteering is a burden. Only if I m complete and overflow I can truly share out of love. Until that day arrives, I will keep to myself.
Life mysteries
Creativity
Whatever u do, if u do it joyfully, if u do it lovingly, if ur act of doing it is not purely economical, then it is creative.
If u have something growing out of it within u, if it gives u growth, it is spiritual
The consideration should be that u are enjoying whatsoever u are doing. It is ur love affair. If ur act is love affair then it becomes creative. Small things become great by the touch of love and delight.
Soul
My blog and website.
It keep me sane, makes me feel good. I feel fulfilled.
Life mysteries
A creative person possesses his own being; he is a master.
Life mysteries
Love cancel gravity, love cancel burden. Out of love any response is beautiful. Without love, responsibility is ugly, simply shows that u have a mind of a slave.
Soul
Tot of myself. When I m in need of validation, my volunteering is a burden. Only if I m complete and overflow I can truly share out of love. Until that day arrives, I will keep to myself.
Life mysteries
Creativity
Whatever u do, if u do it joyfully, if u do it lovingly, if ur act of doing it is not purely economical, then it is creative.
If u have something growing out of it within u, if it gives u growth, it is spiritual
The consideration should be that u are enjoying whatsoever u are doing. It is ur love affair. If ur act is love affair then it becomes creative. Small things become great by the touch of love and delight.
Soul
My blog and website.
It keep me sane, makes me feel good. I feel fulfilled.
Life mysteries
A creative person possesses his own being; he is a master.
Yogi Bhajan - Self Forgiveness is the key to happiness
Aug 7
Woke up upon alarm at 3.45 am. Just jumped out of bed. I realised I do I wake up slow. Once I heard the alarm I shot up.
. Felt a bit of sore throat. Truly not needed when I m leaving for Kailash. Took an antiseptic mouth wash rinse.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Focus on getting throat be healed.
Angamardana is great. I can now even touch my knee to my forehead in lying down posture.
Surya Kriya was great with good alignment and both feet touch the ground in the four mountain pose. Laugh after Surya Kriya. Breathing was good in automatic arashidharna posture. Infact this has been happening for past one week. But did a short one.
Shakti was great. Good Kapala Bhakti. Ending was singing, clapping and head shaking. Laughing at the end of resting mode. Finally I got Shakti.
Shambavi was great. Laughing at the end. It has been a long time since I laugh at the end of Shambavi. Plough back was nimble today.
Galactic press.
Forgiveness
When you’re unforgiving you feel stuck, weak, angry, and resentful. All those feelings contain low-level energy and therefore block your capacity to heal, grow, and live life to the fullest. Like many things, forgiveness is a habit. Get into it by learning how to forgive yourself first.
Yogi Bhajan once said to a room full of his students, “The only difference between me and you is that I practice forgiving myself all day long.” Yogi Bhajan shows us that a key to being the master of your own mind is to learn how to forgive yourself. So for today, just for one minute, practice forgiving yourself. Make it a conscious, purposeful action. It only takes a few moments, but it’s radically transformational.
The moment you recognize your self-attack, follow these four steps: Witness the attack thought. Breathe into the feeling of discomfort. Feel the feeling. Say to yourself, “I forgive this thought. I know it is not real.” -
See more at: http://positive-thoughts.typepad.com/positive-thoughts/2014/08/happiness-is-a-choice-you-make.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+positivethoughtstobe+%28Positive+Thoughts%29#sthash.xsVM8GTC.dpuf
Soul
Was having tots of past. But slowly clearing. Just have to remind myself I am not my mind. My mind is not me. So the tots that it churned I have a choice to believe or not. I chose not to.
While I can't control my mind but I can let myself not to be controlled. Amen.
My shrine is great. Also be great to have two type of energy field when I create a temple for Sannidhi.
Life mysteries by Osho
Responsibilities means that whatever u do, it is ur response. Freedom brings responsibility. Responsibility helps u to become more and more free. And only a person who knows the taste of freedom, who knows the beauty of responsibility, is worthy of calling himself a human being; otherwise you are a camels and nothing more.
Are u here just to repeat the past? Don't u have the courage to introduce the new and to drop the past and the old and the rotten, to bring a fresh breeze into ur life and into the lives of those who are concerned with u in some way? What is ur continuity? There is no question ..., in fact u have to be discontinuous every moment, not only with the past of others - ur father and forefathers - u have to discontinue even with ur own past every moment. The moment that is gone, is gone. You don't have any obligation to continue and carry a corpse of a dead moment.
Soul
This is good. Z and Y is a dead moment to me.
Woke up upon alarm at 3.45 am. Just jumped out of bed. I realised I do I wake up slow. Once I heard the alarm I shot up.
. Felt a bit of sore throat. Truly not needed when I m leaving for Kailash. Took an antiseptic mouth wash rinse.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Focus on getting throat be healed.
Angamardana is great. I can now even touch my knee to my forehead in lying down posture.
Surya Kriya was great with good alignment and both feet touch the ground in the four mountain pose. Laugh after Surya Kriya. Breathing was good in automatic arashidharna posture. Infact this has been happening for past one week. But did a short one.
Shakti was great. Good Kapala Bhakti. Ending was singing, clapping and head shaking. Laughing at the end of resting mode. Finally I got Shakti.
Shambavi was great. Laughing at the end. It has been a long time since I laugh at the end of Shambavi. Plough back was nimble today.
Galactic press.
Forgiveness
When you’re unforgiving you feel stuck, weak, angry, and resentful. All those feelings contain low-level energy and therefore block your capacity to heal, grow, and live life to the fullest. Like many things, forgiveness is a habit. Get into it by learning how to forgive yourself first.
Yogi Bhajan once said to a room full of his students, “The only difference between me and you is that I practice forgiving myself all day long.” Yogi Bhajan shows us that a key to being the master of your own mind is to learn how to forgive yourself. So for today, just for one minute, practice forgiving yourself. Make it a conscious, purposeful action. It only takes a few moments, but it’s radically transformational.
The moment you recognize your self-attack, follow these four steps: Witness the attack thought. Breathe into the feeling of discomfort. Feel the feeling. Say to yourself, “I forgive this thought. I know it is not real.” -
See more at: http://positive-thoughts.typepad.com/positive-thoughts/2014/08/happiness-is-a-choice-you-make.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+positivethoughtstobe+%28Positive+Thoughts%29#sthash.xsVM8GTC.dpuf
Soul
Was having tots of past. But slowly clearing. Just have to remind myself I am not my mind. My mind is not me. So the tots that it churned I have a choice to believe or not. I chose not to.
While I can't control my mind but I can let myself not to be controlled. Amen.
My shrine is great. Also be great to have two type of energy field when I create a temple for Sannidhi.
Life mysteries by Osho
Responsibilities means that whatever u do, it is ur response. Freedom brings responsibility. Responsibility helps u to become more and more free. And only a person who knows the taste of freedom, who knows the beauty of responsibility, is worthy of calling himself a human being; otherwise you are a camels and nothing more.
Are u here just to repeat the past? Don't u have the courage to introduce the new and to drop the past and the old and the rotten, to bring a fresh breeze into ur life and into the lives of those who are concerned with u in some way? What is ur continuity? There is no question ..., in fact u have to be discontinuous every moment, not only with the past of others - ur father and forefathers - u have to discontinue even with ur own past every moment. The moment that is gone, is gone. You don't have any obligation to continue and carry a corpse of a dead moment.
Soul
This is good. Z and Y is a dead moment to me.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Kailash is the greatest Sannidhi - my Home
Aug 6
Woke up at 7 am...feeling bit groggy because of the muscle relaxant medication. Right knee is okay now, no stiffness. So, looks like the medicine is timely, not only for my back..but also for my knee.
I can sense the heat in my right knee..then I know that the right knee is inflamed due to RA.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by singing guru pooja..Truly love my Shrine.
Angamardhana was good..Surya Kriya also good with both feet touching ground on the four mountain pose.
Breathing was nice.
Shakti was great..today is second time whereby I rest after finished 3 cycle of Kapala Bhakti..I think I m slowing getting the sound..I laugh at every cycle of Kapala Bhakti. Towards the end of Shakti, singing followed by head shaking and alas hand clapping.
Shambavi was good.. I was laughing in aum chanting..
Toward the end clapping non stop.
Just shared with G on my insight that Kailash is the greatest Sannidhi in the world. She concur and she said that is absolutely right..we cannot get a 'better' Sannidhi than Kailash.
I also shared about my natural acclimatisation for high altitude..
I also said I now remembered about my receptivity..so need no fear...the Greatest Sannidhi will carry me home.
She too remember my previous sharing of when I made the decision to go Kailash..Going Home..
Sannidhi is home.
Suddenly tot....no more holding on to local Isha..
Now that I am completely out of the loop..I feel freed..
The earlier was the fear...
Woke up at 7 am...feeling bit groggy because of the muscle relaxant medication. Right knee is okay now, no stiffness. So, looks like the medicine is timely, not only for my back..but also for my knee.
I can sense the heat in my right knee..then I know that the right knee is inflamed due to RA.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by singing guru pooja..Truly love my Shrine.
Angamardhana was good..Surya Kriya also good with both feet touching ground on the four mountain pose.
Breathing was nice.
Shakti was great..today is second time whereby I rest after finished 3 cycle of Kapala Bhakti..I think I m slowing getting the sound..I laugh at every cycle of Kapala Bhakti. Towards the end of Shakti, singing followed by head shaking and alas hand clapping.
Shambavi was good.. I was laughing in aum chanting..
Toward the end clapping non stop.
Just shared with G on my insight that Kailash is the greatest Sannidhi in the world. She concur and she said that is absolutely right..we cannot get a 'better' Sannidhi than Kailash.
I also shared about my natural acclimatisation for high altitude..
I also said I now remembered about my receptivity..so need no fear...the Greatest Sannidhi will carry me home.
She too remember my previous sharing of when I made the decision to go Kailash..Going Home..
Sannidhi is home.
Suddenly tot....no more holding on to local Isha..
Now that I am completely out of the loop..I feel freed..
The earlier was the fear...
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Hata Yoga can make you burst with joy, tears of ecstasy flowing
Aug 5 eve
Just finished my evening practices. Just sat with the shrine, do opening invocation followed by singing guru pooja. I let the energy takes me. Went in deep into breathing meditation followed by deep Shoonya.
Plough back was great.
So thankful have this tool.
My sis in law bought the negative pranic fruit I don't want to eat, body feeling good. I know if I eat the fruit, my body feel bad. Saying no eventhough I like the taste.
Sadhguru
Three truths of well being
Joy is not a goal by itself. But it is a background milieu that is needed for any aspect of ur life to happen wonderfully. Whether u eat, dance, sing, love, live or die, if joy isn't there as a backdrop, u will have to drag ur way through life. But once joy is ur constant companion, life just breezes through u.
Hatha yoga does not mean twisting ur body, standing on ur head or holding ur breathe. There was a time when I was personally teaching Hatha yoga as a two day programme. People would burst with joy, tears of ecstasy would flow, simply doing asanas. That is the way yoga needs to be done. Unfortunately the Hatha yoga in the world today brings peace for some, is healthful to others and is a painful circus for many.
Soul
My Hatha yoga program was like that; I was crying loads and laughing loads. Lots of breakthrough. Others tot I have gone crazy. I was crying so much that a tissue box has to be placed with me. I was laughing loads too.
Just finished my evening practices. Just sat with the shrine, do opening invocation followed by singing guru pooja. I let the energy takes me. Went in deep into breathing meditation followed by deep Shoonya.
Plough back was great.
So thankful have this tool.
My sis in law bought the negative pranic fruit I don't want to eat, body feeling good. I know if I eat the fruit, my body feel bad. Saying no eventhough I like the taste.
Sadhguru
Three truths of well being
Joy is not a goal by itself. But it is a background milieu that is needed for any aspect of ur life to happen wonderfully. Whether u eat, dance, sing, love, live or die, if joy isn't there as a backdrop, u will have to drag ur way through life. But once joy is ur constant companion, life just breezes through u.
Hatha yoga does not mean twisting ur body, standing on ur head or holding ur breathe. There was a time when I was personally teaching Hatha yoga as a two day programme. People would burst with joy, tears of ecstasy would flow, simply doing asanas. That is the way yoga needs to be done. Unfortunately the Hatha yoga in the world today brings peace for some, is healthful to others and is a painful circus for many.
Soul
My Hatha yoga program was like that; I was crying loads and laughing loads. Lots of breakthrough. Others tot I have gone crazy. I was crying so much that a tissue box has to be placed with me. I was laughing loads too.
Until you become aware, the ego will go on playing
Aug 5
Woke up groggy upon alarm. The muscle relaxant pill works as even the knee stiffness is minimal. Can't remember the last time I woke up without any stiffness or slight pain. Decided not to do hata yoga to enable my sprained back to rest.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja. But was still sleepy despite a cold shower and hair wash.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya; not great can only touch both feet to ground for two mountain pose only. Looks like pre Angamardhana really makes difference.
Shakti was good, laughing at every cycle of Kapala Bhakti and ended with head shaking non stop and some clapping.
Shambavi was good too.
Got the spongy foot balls for my shoes. I m no longer apprehensive of Kailash. Got a feeling it will be easy for me as I got natural acclimatisation to altitude. Earlier my worry was on joints and since Y said it is less than 12 km walk. I be fine especially now got the sponge ball.
Now that there are no worries on the journey, mind start to embark on the past. Recently much tots of Z. It is past.
No wonder this week Osho on Mind.
Really a period of Three of Diamonds in Mercury. So much tots.
And even the tot of balcony renovation came back. I waived it and this morning I m fine with my plan of keeping the divider wall. Morning do guru pooja and sadhanas in existing Shrine. Do Bhuta Shuddi in sannidhi place. Evening do my breathing and Shoonya at sannidhi place.
Instead of needing a combined place; I be having two different places for my sadhanas.
Life's mysteries
Unless you become aware, the ego will go on playing new games. The games will change; u may move from one prison to another prison cell, that's all but u will not get out of prison.
The only way to get out of prison is to be utterly alert. In that alertness u become centred. And that entering takes u into the very core of reality.
Soul
True.
At least today in Shakti. Was distracted by tots but no too long.
Shakti required focus and yet so easy to lose focus.
Life mysteries
Love is love only when it is meditative. Love is love only when there is great awareness from both sides. Two nows meeting, two heres meeting; two presence merging, melting into each other - then it is love and then it has spiritual quality to it.
Soul
Amen.
Life mysteries
Ur total state of mind has to be transformed, and that is the meaning of awareness.
U are in the past, in the future; that means you are in the mind. Come out of ur mind! Be in. The present, .... And when u are in the present, u are not part of the mind. Then each act has clarity, because u are a mirror. And there is no dust on the mirror because the there is no thinking going on.
Soul
Amen.
Life mysteries
Be alert, be aware!
Whatsoever u are doing, do it with such care, such meditativeness, that u are absolutely there, in it, involved. Ur presence is there - and that very presence brings an alchemical change. U will never repress, u will never sit on volcano. And the more u become aware, the more ur life will attain to silence, peace, love. They are by-products of awareness.
Woke up groggy upon alarm. The muscle relaxant pill works as even the knee stiffness is minimal. Can't remember the last time I woke up without any stiffness or slight pain. Decided not to do hata yoga to enable my sprained back to rest.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja. But was still sleepy despite a cold shower and hair wash.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya; not great can only touch both feet to ground for two mountain pose only. Looks like pre Angamardhana really makes difference.
Shakti was good, laughing at every cycle of Kapala Bhakti and ended with head shaking non stop and some clapping.
Shambavi was good too.
Got the spongy foot balls for my shoes. I m no longer apprehensive of Kailash. Got a feeling it will be easy for me as I got natural acclimatisation to altitude. Earlier my worry was on joints and since Y said it is less than 12 km walk. I be fine especially now got the sponge ball.
Now that there are no worries on the journey, mind start to embark on the past. Recently much tots of Z. It is past.
No wonder this week Osho on Mind.
Really a period of Three of Diamonds in Mercury. So much tots.
And even the tot of balcony renovation came back. I waived it and this morning I m fine with my plan of keeping the divider wall. Morning do guru pooja and sadhanas in existing Shrine. Do Bhuta Shuddi in sannidhi place. Evening do my breathing and Shoonya at sannidhi place.
Instead of needing a combined place; I be having two different places for my sadhanas.
Life's mysteries
Unless you become aware, the ego will go on playing new games. The games will change; u may move from one prison to another prison cell, that's all but u will not get out of prison.
The only way to get out of prison is to be utterly alert. In that alertness u become centred. And that entering takes u into the very core of reality.
Soul
True.
At least today in Shakti. Was distracted by tots but no too long.
Shakti required focus and yet so easy to lose focus.
Life mysteries
Love is love only when it is meditative. Love is love only when there is great awareness from both sides. Two nows meeting, two heres meeting; two presence merging, melting into each other - then it is love and then it has spiritual quality to it.
Soul
Amen.
Life mysteries
Ur total state of mind has to be transformed, and that is the meaning of awareness.
U are in the past, in the future; that means you are in the mind. Come out of ur mind! Be in. The present, .... And when u are in the present, u are not part of the mind. Then each act has clarity, because u are a mirror. And there is no dust on the mirror because the there is no thinking going on.
Soul
Amen.
Life mysteries
Be alert, be aware!
Whatsoever u are doing, do it with such care, such meditativeness, that u are absolutely there, in it, involved. Ur presence is there - and that very presence brings an alchemical change. U will never repress, u will never sit on volcano. And the more u become aware, the more ur life will attain to silence, peace, love. They are by-products of awareness.
Another day of uncertainty
Aug 4
Today woke up with a dream, so feeling bit off. Again flying tots of past but I ignored it.
Foot still bit painful and knee still stiff.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by singing guru pooja. Angamardhana was good. At first right elbow was painful but it went off. On the sitting posture, now able to bend forward while keeping knee straight.
Surya kriya only managed 3 mountain pose with both feet on the ground. The last session I couldn't. This time alignment was ride but maybe feet too much behind and I can't rely on my elbow strength to push it.
Shakti was good, singing and hissing towards the end. Shambavi was fine.
Three hours pass just like that.
Love my shrine. Fit so well in my room. Finally removed the CD player. Can cut the big table cloth into two pieces.
Today woke up with a dream, so feeling bit off. Again flying tots of past but I ignored it.
Foot still bit painful and knee still stiff.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by singing guru pooja. Angamardhana was good. At first right elbow was painful but it went off. On the sitting posture, now able to bend forward while keeping knee straight.
Surya kriya only managed 3 mountain pose with both feet on the ground. The last session I couldn't. This time alignment was ride but maybe feet too much behind and I can't rely on my elbow strength to push it.
Shakti was good, singing and hissing towards the end. Shambavi was fine.
Three hours pass just like that.
Love my shrine. Fit so well in my room. Finally removed the CD player. Can cut the big table cloth into two pieces.
Cancer woman and Aries man
Aug 3
Cancer woman and Aries man
Between the Aries man and the Cancer woman there's a strong sexual attraction. But once the fire of passion is put out, there's nothing much left for them.
The very passionate Aries man will become frustrated and thus fights start out of nothing. Incompatibility of temper inevitably leads to erotic incompatibility too.
A relationship between the Aries man and the Cancer woman would be like a sea storm, and a marriage would almost certainly end in a shipwreck.
Soul
Z is Aries and I am Cancer
Mmm..wish I read this earlier...but it is true.
I am glad that we are both saved.
his wife is perfect for him..both with Jacks Ruling card and Seven Destiny cards.
Cancer woman and Virgo man
For the Cancer woman, the Virgo man represents the sentimental certainty she so much needs. Small gestures make her feel loved.
The Cancer woman needs to depend on somebody, while the Virgo man needs to be the protector. The perfect match! Moreover, the fantasies of the Cancer woman stimulate the Virgo man, and by her permanent preoccupation to satisfy her man, the Cancer woman manages to amplify the partner's affection.
The Virgo man and the Cancer woman will get out of their shells and they will start enjoying being with each other. A powerful relationship and a solid marriage.
Soul
Possible with Y.
Alas our age difference is too much..and he is too traditional..
A real Virgo..
Cancer woman and Aries man
Between the Aries man and the Cancer woman there's a strong sexual attraction. But once the fire of passion is put out, there's nothing much left for them.
The very passionate Aries man will become frustrated and thus fights start out of nothing. Incompatibility of temper inevitably leads to erotic incompatibility too.
A relationship between the Aries man and the Cancer woman would be like a sea storm, and a marriage would almost certainly end in a shipwreck.
Soul
Z is Aries and I am Cancer
Mmm..wish I read this earlier...but it is true.
I am glad that we are both saved.
his wife is perfect for him..both with Jacks Ruling card and Seven Destiny cards.
Cancer woman and Virgo man
For the Cancer woman, the Virgo man represents the sentimental certainty she so much needs. Small gestures make her feel loved.
The Cancer woman needs to depend on somebody, while the Virgo man needs to be the protector. The perfect match! Moreover, the fantasies of the Cancer woman stimulate the Virgo man, and by her permanent preoccupation to satisfy her man, the Cancer woman manages to amplify the partner's affection.
The Virgo man and the Cancer woman will get out of their shells and they will start enjoying being with each other. A powerful relationship and a solid marriage.
Soul
Possible with Y.
Alas our age difference is too much..and he is too traditional..
A real Virgo..
I am natural to high altitude, so I be fine in Kailash
Aug 2 eve
Y told me that main issue with Kailash is the altitude acclimatisation.
Yesterday evening mom suddenly mentioned that she faced altitude sickness while in Yunnan trip with me many years ago whereas I was completely fine. I didn't even know we were in high country although we saw many hills there.
Mmm, so another plus point. I got natural acclimatisation to high altitude. I just remember that many of them couldn't sleep, headache, no appetite and etc.
I was the only who can sleep well, read all the way in bus, sleep in bus and have good appetite.
They were quite envious of me especially here I m getting more fresh whereas they looking worse everyday. Even my good friend J who is used to travel also deteriorate daily.
And here I tot its because they can't sleep in new bed whereas I can sleep anywhere. Looks like its the altitude issue.
Looks like others were suffering from altitude sickness.
That time when we went there got no idea at all on the altitude issue. Back I came back sick cos weather was too dry for me.
Now with 6 years of hata yoga and sadhana with me; I m sure my natural acclimatisation to altitude has improved further.
And this time with Bhuta Shuddi, I m protected from any cold thereafter.
Now added precaution with propolis.
A said its a great boon to have. So it could be true I was in the mountain in previous life. Now memories comes back. I recalled I slept well, great appetite. Infact I become more energetic as day passed by whereas others become more tired. Maybe I was receptive to the vibration there but was unaware.
Father, now that the altitude acclimatisation is taken care of, left only my physical joints issue due to RA. That one I hope the greatest sannidhi energy will zone me out and heal me. Actually that's my wish too. I want to be heal from RA once and all. Hope Kailash can do it.
Y told me that main issue with Kailash is the altitude acclimatisation.
Yesterday evening mom suddenly mentioned that she faced altitude sickness while in Yunnan trip with me many years ago whereas I was completely fine. I didn't even know we were in high country although we saw many hills there.
Mmm, so another plus point. I got natural acclimatisation to high altitude. I just remember that many of them couldn't sleep, headache, no appetite and etc.
I was the only who can sleep well, read all the way in bus, sleep in bus and have good appetite.
They were quite envious of me especially here I m getting more fresh whereas they looking worse everyday. Even my good friend J who is used to travel also deteriorate daily.
And here I tot its because they can't sleep in new bed whereas I can sleep anywhere. Looks like its the altitude issue.
Looks like others were suffering from altitude sickness.
That time when we went there got no idea at all on the altitude issue. Back I came back sick cos weather was too dry for me.
Now with 6 years of hata yoga and sadhana with me; I m sure my natural acclimatisation to altitude has improved further.
And this time with Bhuta Shuddi, I m protected from any cold thereafter.
Now added precaution with propolis.
A said its a great boon to have. So it could be true I was in the mountain in previous life. Now memories comes back. I recalled I slept well, great appetite. Infact I become more energetic as day passed by whereas others become more tired. Maybe I was receptive to the vibration there but was unaware.
Father, now that the altitude acclimatisation is taken care of, left only my physical joints issue due to RA. That one I hope the greatest sannidhi energy will zone me out and heal me. Actually that's my wish too. I want to be heal from RA once and all. Hope Kailash can do it.
Surya Kriya finally grounded
Aug 2
Body woke up fresh before 5 am. Slept back and woke up upon alarm at 6.45 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by singing guru pooja. Angamardhana was quite okay. On the sitting posture, now ensure that knee is straight and hence feet is straight too. Bit more strenuous but that's the right way. Child sitting posture has improved.
After Angamardhana, crying a bit during the silent Dhyana moments.
Surya Kriya is good with all four mountain posture with both feet on the ground. On the forward bending, my hair touching the knees; slowly my head will touch too. Laughing loads in the end.
Since my both feet can touch ground after nearly 2 years of Surya Kriya then my head can touch my knee too.
Shakti was good.
Shambavi was great. Clapping loads at the end.
Father, sadhana and hata yoga truly for me. Thanks to Sadhguru.
On the Buddha idol. I have previously kept inside the cupboard but my nephew M took it out and place at the altar. Somehow I know its meant to be there. It seems to stand alright on its own. To me the image represents all the masters of the universe. Timely since I m going to Kailash, footprints of all the masters of universe.
My mind still acting on the past. But now I know I need not believed in it. My mind is not me.
The Buddha idol was purchased in Nepal, so apt.
Body woke up fresh before 5 am. Slept back and woke up upon alarm at 6.45 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by singing guru pooja. Angamardhana was quite okay. On the sitting posture, now ensure that knee is straight and hence feet is straight too. Bit more strenuous but that's the right way. Child sitting posture has improved.
After Angamardhana, crying a bit during the silent Dhyana moments.
Surya Kriya is good with all four mountain posture with both feet on the ground. On the forward bending, my hair touching the knees; slowly my head will touch too. Laughing loads in the end.
Since my both feet can touch ground after nearly 2 years of Surya Kriya then my head can touch my knee too.
Shakti was good.
Shambavi was great. Clapping loads at the end.
Father, sadhana and hata yoga truly for me. Thanks to Sadhguru.
On the Buddha idol. I have previously kept inside the cupboard but my nephew M took it out and place at the altar. Somehow I know its meant to be there. It seems to stand alright on its own. To me the image represents all the masters of the universe. Timely since I m going to Kailash, footprints of all the masters of universe.
My mind still acting on the past. But now I know I need not believed in it. My mind is not me.
The Buddha idol was purchased in Nepal, so apt.
God is not when you are a chaos, a confilct
Aug 1 aft
My Daily Card
The Eight of Spades
The Eight of Spades is the most powerful card of physical and will power. When this card is present, you will find yourself experiencing more power over your health and work matters. Success is indicated by this card, along with the ability to overcome any obstacles that may appear in your way. Power comes from a focusing of our will, a narrowing down of the areas of our interest. Because of this, we often lose focus in less important areas while we gather force in one.
Soul
Feeling much better today.
Know I am going Home to Kailash, the greatest Sannidhi in the world.
Told L and she said I must have forgot about my receptivity...since it is always switched "on" mode.
I no longer worry..I was right, Kailash will carry me...
Aug 1 eve
Had a good chat with Y. He said this is not a physical strenuous trip. This trip is on altitude issue. He said not everyone can do Kailash as it is not on fitness. Many fit people had to go down. It is Kailash who choose who can do the journey.
I kept to myself on me knowing that Kailash is the greatest sannidhi of all. And sannidhi is home to me.
Father, the past with Z and Y truly over. I m glad we are not.
Life mysteries by Osho
God is not when you are a chaos, a disunity, a conflict. When u are a house divided against urself, there is no God.
When u are tremendously happy with urself, happy as u are, blissful as u are, when u are an orchestra of all ur energies, God is when u are an organic orgasmic unity. God is that feeling of total unity is what God is.
Jogging, swimming can be transformed into meditation. A moment comes when runner and swimmer disappears, there is only swimming or running. The body, mind and soul functioning together, suddenly an inner orgasm is released.
Soul
Amen.
My swimming bring me such joy.
Last week just squatting in the muddy padi field water, joy erupted from me.
Miss my swim. Can't go tomorrow cos just did my hair. Will have to wait after Kailash.
My Daily Card
The Eight of Spades
The Eight of Spades is the most powerful card of physical and will power. When this card is present, you will find yourself experiencing more power over your health and work matters. Success is indicated by this card, along with the ability to overcome any obstacles that may appear in your way. Power comes from a focusing of our will, a narrowing down of the areas of our interest. Because of this, we often lose focus in less important areas while we gather force in one.
Soul
Feeling much better today.
Know I am going Home to Kailash, the greatest Sannidhi in the world.
Told L and she said I must have forgot about my receptivity...since it is always switched "on" mode.
I no longer worry..I was right, Kailash will carry me...
Aug 1 eve
Had a good chat with Y. He said this is not a physical strenuous trip. This trip is on altitude issue. He said not everyone can do Kailash as it is not on fitness. Many fit people had to go down. It is Kailash who choose who can do the journey.
I kept to myself on me knowing that Kailash is the greatest sannidhi of all. And sannidhi is home to me.
Father, the past with Z and Y truly over. I m glad we are not.
Life mysteries by Osho
God is not when you are a chaos, a disunity, a conflict. When u are a house divided against urself, there is no God.
When u are tremendously happy with urself, happy as u are, blissful as u are, when u are an orchestra of all ur energies, God is when u are an organic orgasmic unity. God is that feeling of total unity is what God is.
Jogging, swimming can be transformed into meditation. A moment comes when runner and swimmer disappears, there is only swimming or running. The body, mind and soul functioning together, suddenly an inner orgasm is released.
Soul
Amen.
My swimming bring me such joy.
Last week just squatting in the muddy padi field water, joy erupted from me.
Miss my swim. Can't go tomorrow cos just did my hair. Will have to wait after Kailash.
Fear on Kailash settling down, knees pain reduced
Aug 1
Woke up feeling refreshed before 6 am. Slept back and woke up upon alarm.
Now that I know Kailash is the greatest Sannidhi and I am going Home...no more fear.
Truly glad that I managed to speak to Se yesterday. So timely. While we were talking I was so overwhelmed that I even cried.. I had to cut short the conversation.
No plan to chat again so as not to create any expectation...but definitely will meet up after Kailash trip.
Today woke up, right knee was fine...after wearing the knee guard. The normal pain stiffness for the past 2 months is gone..amazing..
Some lingering stiffness is there...looks like this is due to RA...the right ankle was bit stiff despite wearing the ankle guard..mmmm.
Angamardhana was good...
Surya Kriya only 3 times both feet touches ground on mountain pose. But it was deep.
Breathing was lovely...
Shakti was good..Shambavi was okay.
Overall a quiet event...unlike yesterday evening powerful releases..head shaking non stops, crying loads and clapping...was with shrine for nearly an hour despite no Shoonya..
This tot came to my mind:
Z travel to holiday is not my value. I prefer to travel to spiritual place. Travel is not my hobby. So no comparison. He is truly not my match.
My true match will be focus on Kailash.
Just send email to book for accommodation in Kailash for extension.
I can stay on my own as K said Nepal is safe.
Also as P said we be too tired by then...and to find accommodation is the last thing in our mind. And Se said this is the peak season.
Also, food is my concern then..best to get a place of my own to unwind...
Father, no more waiting for others..I can give what I need to make myself happy. Amen
Woke up feeling refreshed before 6 am. Slept back and woke up upon alarm.
Now that I know Kailash is the greatest Sannidhi and I am going Home...no more fear.
Truly glad that I managed to speak to Se yesterday. So timely. While we were talking I was so overwhelmed that I even cried.. I had to cut short the conversation.
No plan to chat again so as not to create any expectation...but definitely will meet up after Kailash trip.
Today woke up, right knee was fine...after wearing the knee guard. The normal pain stiffness for the past 2 months is gone..amazing..
Some lingering stiffness is there...looks like this is due to RA...the right ankle was bit stiff despite wearing the ankle guard..mmmm.
Angamardhana was good...
Surya Kriya only 3 times both feet touches ground on mountain pose. But it was deep.
Breathing was lovely...
Shakti was good..Shambavi was okay.
Overall a quiet event...unlike yesterday evening powerful releases..head shaking non stops, crying loads and clapping...was with shrine for nearly an hour despite no Shoonya..
This tot came to my mind:
Z travel to holiday is not my value. I prefer to travel to spiritual place. Travel is not my hobby. So no comparison. He is truly not my match.
My true match will be focus on Kailash.
Just send email to book for accommodation in Kailash for extension.
I can stay on my own as K said Nepal is safe.
Also as P said we be too tired by then...and to find accommodation is the last thing in our mind. And Se said this is the peak season.
Also, food is my concern then..best to get a place of my own to unwind...
Father, no more waiting for others..I can give what I need to make myself happy. Amen
Kailash, the greatest sannidhi in the world
Jul 31 eve 1.
Kailash - the greatest sannidhi in the world.
Sadhguru always said Kailash is the footprints of all the masters in the universe. Shiva the greatest masters of all.
I feel at home with Sadhguru's sannidhi and so I be totally at home with the greatest sannidhi in Kailash.
I also remember how I first got the wish to go Kailash. As I was driving and saw a hill and a tot came; go Home; Kailash is ur Home. I remember it as a overwhelming experience and it comes just like that.
I think it may be after I did Bhuta Shuddi as it was early this year that I finally decided. Although last year the tot came.
Amen.
I truly found my Home. I m going home.
Today Four of hearts. Truly correct.
Kailash - the greatest sannidhi in the world.
Sadhguru always said Kailash is the footprints of all the masters in the universe. Shiva the greatest masters of all.
I feel at home with Sadhguru's sannidhi and so I be totally at home with the greatest sannidhi in Kailash.
I also remember how I first got the wish to go Kailash. As I was driving and saw a hill and a tot came; go Home; Kailash is ur Home. I remember it as a overwhelming experience and it comes just like that.
I think it may be after I did Bhuta Shuddi as it was early this year that I finally decided. Although last year the tot came.
Amen.
I truly found my Home. I m going home.
Today Four of hearts. Truly correct.
Finally settling fear on Kailash
Jul 31 eve
Life mysteries by Osho
When u are tremendously happy with urself, happy as u are, blissful as u are, grateful as u are, and all ur energies are dancing together
Just received msg that Z is away holiday overseas. My mind ticking...but I waived it off..he is not for me.
I have grown much since then. My right partner will come..and it is neither Z nor Y.
They are both not for me.
Father..really....
I was having such tots on P..and it is not true..
It is only me....
Father...guide me through this period..
Let me face this uncertain period...
I know I don't want to go back..thats all i know
Today card in Jupiter
My Daily Card
The Four of Hearts
The Four of Hearts is a sign of protection in love, marriage and family. It represents one's marriage and the foundation of love upon which a family and life can be built. The Four of Hearts is usually considered a good influence, especially for a happy family and social life. You may even turn down offers of love at those times when you are feeling so fulfilled in the areas of friendship and romance. If you are single, the Four of Hearts as the Result or Venus Card is a strong indicator of marriage.
The Four of Hearts can also speak about your home and family and things going on in these areas. It represents, at its most basic level, the foundation of love upon which all of our other relationships are built. It is the home of the heart.
Soul
This morning when I got this card..I felt it wasnt' true.
I was feeling down, feeling uncertain, feeling unwanted...
keep on wanting to go back to the past...
Not sure why Four of Hearts.
Then in the late afternoon, La asked me to source contribution to give to the yoga center.
I set up the whats app chat...and got the the local Isha family to chip in..
It was good and fast..
Then just spoke to a fellow meditator who just came back yesterday.
He said I be fine...the trip is arduous..
Kailash is just like going to a doctor for an injection, if you can't be cured with medicine.
He said that with my receptivity...the trip will be a breeze to me...
the trip is arduous..but once I am in meditative zone...everything else disappears...
Father, I cried..I felt so overwhelmed...
Thanks for sending S to me..hearing him say all this reminds me that I will be fine..
I think for P, whose receptivity is lower...hence the physical becomes all the more challenging.
For me..yea..remember Samyama..my ankle was bruised and in pain for 3 days..and yet I can sit and meditate, pain all forgotten. Only when I am out of meditation zone, that I remember the pain..
Even then, at one point, Sadhguru looked at me..and suddenly my pain is gone and i am dancing without any pain,...
Amen..
Truly needed this news..
I am settled now..
Life mysteries by Osho
When u are tremendously happy with urself, happy as u are, blissful as u are, grateful as u are, and all ur energies are dancing together
Just received msg that Z is away holiday overseas. My mind ticking...but I waived it off..he is not for me.
I have grown much since then. My right partner will come..and it is neither Z nor Y.
They are both not for me.
Father..really....
I was having such tots on P..and it is not true..
It is only me....
Father...guide me through this period..
Let me face this uncertain period...
I know I don't want to go back..thats all i know
Today card in Jupiter
My Daily Card
The Four of Hearts
The Four of Hearts is a sign of protection in love, marriage and family. It represents one's marriage and the foundation of love upon which a family and life can be built. The Four of Hearts is usually considered a good influence, especially for a happy family and social life. You may even turn down offers of love at those times when you are feeling so fulfilled in the areas of friendship and romance. If you are single, the Four of Hearts as the Result or Venus Card is a strong indicator of marriage.
The Four of Hearts can also speak about your home and family and things going on in these areas. It represents, at its most basic level, the foundation of love upon which all of our other relationships are built. It is the home of the heart.
Soul
This morning when I got this card..I felt it wasnt' true.
I was feeling down, feeling uncertain, feeling unwanted...
keep on wanting to go back to the past...
Not sure why Four of Hearts.
Then in the late afternoon, La asked me to source contribution to give to the yoga center.
I set up the whats app chat...and got the the local Isha family to chip in..
It was good and fast..
Then just spoke to a fellow meditator who just came back yesterday.
He said I be fine...the trip is arduous..
Kailash is just like going to a doctor for an injection, if you can't be cured with medicine.
He said that with my receptivity...the trip will be a breeze to me...
the trip is arduous..but once I am in meditative zone...everything else disappears...
Father, I cried..I felt so overwhelmed...
Thanks for sending S to me..hearing him say all this reminds me that I will be fine..
I think for P, whose receptivity is lower...hence the physical becomes all the more challenging.
For me..yea..remember Samyama..my ankle was bruised and in pain for 3 days..and yet I can sit and meditate, pain all forgotten. Only when I am out of meditation zone, that I remember the pain..
Even then, at one point, Sadhguru looked at me..and suddenly my pain is gone and i am dancing without any pain,...
Amen..
Truly needed this news..
I am settled now..
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