Three of Diamonds - lack of integration in values

Jul 31 aft
Can feel the restlessness inside. Tot change of scene of new restaurant. Alas this place is too noisy.  Got to bear with it.
These days no longer like music in car. Last time it was switched on automatically to avoid silence. And now I savour silence.
Some buzzing in my mind.

1. The Issue
Integration.
The conflict is in man. Unless it is resolved there, it cannot be resolved anywhere else. The politics is within u; it is between two parts of the mind.
We are the union of eagle and swan; male and female, life and death. The card of integration is the symbol of self-creation, new life and mystical union; otherwise known as alchemy.

2. Internal influence
Sharing
As u move above the fourth center - that is the heart - ur whole life becomes a sharing of love. The third center has created the abundance of love. By reaching to the third center in meditation, u have become overflowing with love, compassion and u want to share.

Soul
Mmm. Can't see it.

3. External influence that u are aware
Clinging to the past
Its time to face up to the fact that the past is gone and any effort to repeat it is a sure way to stay stuck in old blueprints that u have already outgrown if u hadn't been so busy clinging to what u have already been through.
Take a deep breathe, put the box down, tie it up and bid it farewell. 

Soul
Yes. So true.
Can see mind buzzing with the past. I don't want to go back. It was so difficulty to let go. Let me stay in this period of uncertainty.
Whatever, be sensible.

4. What's needed for resolution?
Past lives
This is a wake up call; the events in ur life are trying to show u a pattern as ancient as the journey of ur own soul.

Soul
True. Old pains is back.
Feeling like a small child. Still holding the door of the past. Not sure where I m heading.
Not looking forward to Kailash.

5. Resolution
Politicians
What u see might be painful, but not as painful as continuing to play.
It doesn't serve anybody's interest in the end, least of all yours. Whatever u might achieve in this way will just turn to dust in ur hands.

Soul
True.

Life mysteries by Osho
When u are tremendously happy with urself, happy as u are, blissful as u are, grateful as u are, and all ur energies are dancing together

Just received msg that Z is away holiday overseas. My mind ticking...but I waived it off..he is not for me.
I have grown much since then. My right partner will come..and it is neither Z nor Y.
They are both not for me.

Father..really....
I was having such tots on P..and it is not true..
It is only me....
Father...guide me through this period..
Let me face this uncertain period...
I know I don't want to go back..thats all i know