Finally settling fear on Kailash

Jul 31 eve

Life mysteries by Osho
When u are tremendously happy with urself, happy as u are, blissful as u are, grateful as u are, and all ur energies are dancing together

Just received msg that Z is away holiday overseas. My mind ticking...but I waived it off..he is not for me.
I have grown much since then. My right partner will come..and it is neither Z nor Y.
They are both not for me.

Father..really....
I was having such tots on P..and it is not true..
It is only me....
Father...guide me through this period..
Let me face this uncertain period...
I know I don't want to go back..thats all i know

Today card in Jupiter
My Daily Card
The Four of Hearts

The Four of Hearts is a sign of protection in love, marriage and family. It represents one's marriage and the foundation of love upon which a family and life can be built. The Four of Hearts is usually considered a good influence, especially for a happy family and social life. You may even turn down offers of love at those times when you are feeling so fulfilled in the areas of friendship and romance. If you are single, the Four of Hearts as the Result or Venus Card is a strong indicator of marriage.

The Four of Hearts can also speak about your home and family and things going on in these areas. It represents, at its most basic level, the foundation of love upon which all of our other relationships are built. It is the home of the heart.

Soul
This morning when I got this card..I felt it wasnt' true.
I was feeling down, feeling uncertain, feeling unwanted...
keep on wanting to go back to the past...

Not sure why Four of Hearts.
Then in the late afternoon, La asked me to source contribution to give to the yoga center.
I set up the whats app chat...and got the the local Isha family to chip in..
It was good and fast..

Then just spoke to a fellow meditator who just came back yesterday.
He said I be fine...the trip is arduous..
Kailash is just like going to a doctor for an injection, if you can't be cured with medicine.
He said that with my receptivity...the trip will be a breeze to me...
the trip is arduous..but once I am in meditative zone...everything else disappears...
Father, I cried..I felt so overwhelmed...
Thanks for sending S to me..hearing him say all this reminds me that I will be fine..

I think for P, whose receptivity is lower...hence the physical becomes all the more challenging.
For me..yea..remember Samyama..my ankle was bruised and in pain for 3 days..and yet I can sit and meditate, pain all forgotten. Only when I am out of meditation zone, that I remember the pain..
Even then, at one point, Sadhguru looked at me..and suddenly my pain is gone and i am dancing without any pain,...
Amen..
Truly needed this news..
I am settled now..