Married to Joy by Tinybuddha

Sept 3

Was feeling bit down as I was 'push off' by A. His comments was hurtful and not caring. Suddenly I feel unwanted, feeling like a unloved child. I hold on to myself. I can see myself going sad..

and saw this on Facebook. So apt. Married to joy, that's me.



Married to joy by Tinybuddha
And when I occasionally find myself at home alone on a Saturday night, when in the past I’d have been downtown with my partner and our friends, I delight in figuring out what I want to do. And my delight energizes my entire being.

For the first time since I was a child, what I am doing feels right and sure. I have fallen in love with myself again, I delight in the minutes again, I enjoy my friends again, and I am aware of my many blessings again.

Expecting full joy has opened my heart to more than I imagined, and the paths to pursue fullness have opened to me. Before, when I expected unhappiness to continue, it did.

Most revealing about who I was, I realize that I never expected to experience such fullness as a single person. I thought my completeness depended on someone else.

Now I know that what I’ve sought I’ve had all along, whether as a partner or single. I was just waiting for me to notice.

Is being a single person my destination or part of my journey?

Sharing this last chapter of my life with a magnificent someone else would be a beautiful bonus since I have married myself to the joy of simple awareness, of breathing in and out. In and out. Deeply.

Soul
Feeling bit better..the small child has grown up.

This was my tot this morning. This morning there were tots of Z and Y. I looked at the fleeting tots; somehow I won't be tagged. I am so aware of who I am. Being able to sit and just feel me; my breathe; my silence, my being.

Also alas can see A for being a not truly nice person. He looked well mannered but alas he is showing up. The old me would have ignored but new me saw this. Now I understand what his parents said about him being rude.
(Sept 25 - A called up to apologise on his rudeness for the past weeks. He said he just broke off with his on-off gal and not in the right frame)

Afternoon
After the unsuccesful birthday surprise and feeling was hurt...
just saw my card for today. Mars in Seven of Clubs.
My Daily Card
The Seven of Clubs

When the Seven of Clubs is present you will either be exposed to spiritual knowledge, which is knowledge that leads one back to the self, or you will be challenged to let go of mental attitudes and beliefs that are keeping you trapped on lower levels of thought. The lowest side of this card is negative thinking. The highest side is mental and spiritual revelation, expanded consciousness. How it manifests for you will depend upon your ability to elevate your thinking.
Amen...