Be a Light unto yourself

Oct 17

These 2 days, feeling bit edgy. I just know I didnt like the feeling and resort to looking for food so I can hide it. Well, is a feeling of being uncertain. For a control person like, feeling of uncertainty is not easy.
Just faced it. Guess now not sure if I know where I am heading. Bit worry about tomorrow, has to do budgets and etc. Then tot of the ikea purchases.
But I know that there is no need to worry.

Osho - The past is no more and the future is not here yet

Soul
Father, thank you. I was back in the past and projecting into the future. Those days of difficulties are over. Let me stay in the present. Let me be grateful for my 4 days work week, a boss who likes me, a team of supportive staff. friends that are close, a guru that I can count on, a spiritual path that I can count on. Father, there is so much blessing in my life. Help me to overcome the feeling of uncertainty.

A tot came, The past is no more and future is yet to be.

Osho
Life is a great ocean in which you can lay if drop all your judgements, your preferences and the attachment to the details of your long term plans. Be available to what comes your way, as it comes. And, don't worry, if you stumble or fall; just pick yourself up, dust yourself and carry on.

Soul - timely answer. Just let things flow...Even if nothing is happening, that is what its meant to be.
Father, why is it that I always fear nothing is happening. And yet, I dread things happening too much, which is challenges to me. Father, let me savour nothing is happening. Even if I have no value, it is fine.
I guess part of it also, I felt alone. Going to India alone, on this path alone. Sometimes, i want people to share with.


Osho - Aloneness
When there is no significant others in our lives, we can either be lonely, or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings. When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter, or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends and colleagues.
Be a Light unto yourself. Ultimately, each of us must developt within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.


Oct 17 nite
Now I know what is my uncertainty due to. When I listened to 7thunder cd, there was nothing spiritual mentioned about Queen of Diamond and in fact, even said the Jack of Club in Pluto has a tendency to be dishonest. It was downright demotivating and the unconscious tot I have was that I am over-confident and my Destiny is an illusion. Thankfully, my Osho card brought me back. Aloneness, about me being a Light of my own, when there is no guide, no friends, no family, no colleague. Its still me following my truth.
Father, again, I don't find any connection with the founder of 7thunder. He seems to have cater for the mundane matters. He doesn't realise its potential.
From now onward, no more hiding, no more avoidance of the feeling of uncertainty. I will face it and dispel it with awareness. That's what I can do. Amen

(Nov 26 - Found in Destiny card, the real meaning of Jack of Club in Pluto. It talks about my life time challenge of creating a name myself in the creative field, for eg. writing. Day by day, my worry of running out things to write will ease. Like today, I tot nothing to write, but I did write about the guilt issue of CEO's retirement and it was a great article. I surprised myself. So, something here..)