Go with the flow

Oct 10
Father, this morning, left shoulder a bit pained. But its better now. At least my right elbow pain has gone, just some stiffness. Father, of late the pain occupy my tots. Now not sure to do the 7thundercards or to sleep.

Diamond Heart.
When u r aware that there is something unconscious in u, but u r not putting in any effort, that's a time to put in effort. And when u r aware that u r not influenced by such unconsciousness, and u seem to be present and clear, then it is time not to effort: to just let go, to flow.
In separation from the Universe, u continue to make effort because u r maintaining ur differences from the rest of the Universe. You make effort in order to push ur own preferences which you see as different from the rest of the universe.
And when u realised that u r not truly separate, then u can relax the effort and returned to a more relaxed, natural state.
Love doesn't reflect on itself. Love just moves. What reflects on itself is the mind. But the mind is also the expression of Love in the end. The mind is also a manifestation of love.
Mind acts as a mirror of Love so that Love knows itself. This brings us a mixed blessing: a blessing and a curse at the same time. There is a possibility of knowing who u are, but there is also the possibility of creating a mess out of ur life.
The mind can look at itself, while Love doesn't look at itself. Love is just there and flows. Mind is there for Love to see itself.

Self-reflection brings self-awareness, but it also brings conflict. The central manifestation of this conflict is identifying with being a separate entity that has its own will and doership.
We are completely free when we don't reflect on ourselves, just like little children. Little children don't reflect on themselves. They don't even look at themselves. They don't know who they are, or whether they exist or not. When their minds start developing and they begin to reflect on themselves: "I am this, I am that, I am good, I am bad..", then the trouble starts. When they begin to attempt to control themselves and reality, that is false will. That's the effort. But if there isn't that division between who u r and who looks at u, there is just one who doesn't look at herself. There is no effort.

Only when u forget about urself, do u fall asleep. That is similar to the true flow of love. So, when u live ur life that its just like falling asleep. That is when u r free.

Question; U always talk about us waking up, now why sleeping instead?
Answer. We use ideas appropriate to the specific teaching, appropriate to the particular time, place and people. At a certain stage, experience is different and so our concepts are different
To be free means to be completely unconscious of yourself because at the deepest level, there is no self to be conscious. You don't know who u r. You don't know what u r doing. You are just doing it. You are not even doing it; it just happens.

Awareness is not interested in looking at itself. Awareness has nothing to do with conceptualising and knowing. Awareness is completely spontaneous. This is called living without mind. When u r reflecting upon urself, u r not spontaneous. When mind is completely shed, self-reflection ceases. Self-realisation goes through many stages. The sense of self, the sense of identity is the last thing to go. The True Self is needed and must be realised for a person to move to Supreme or Universal life, because they are sparks of the same light.
Each time there is a loss of self or self-identity, there is a deeper peace. Peace and stillness. Until u get to the complete absence, then peace is absolute beause there is absolutely nothing to disturb it. The moment that u know there is peace, there is little disturbance someplace because there is self-reflection.
Absolute peace means there is absolute peace without the awareness that there is peace. Complete unification, no reflection. And when the peace is absolute, the clarity is absolute. When there is absence, there is absolute clarity. Clarity is everywhere and everything.

Soul
Father, I am getting this.

Diamond Heart
In one sense, u keep on looking backwards, until finally u get to the most backward, then u realise that u r looking forward. When u reach the complete realisty, then u can only look forward. There isn't anything to look back to. So, the only things left is to look forward and that is spontaneity.

Soul
Yeap, yday I tot I have went inward so far. I reach a stop and nothing to look at anymore and now its to go outward, towards manifestation. Hence I am diving and window shopping.
I was getting bit confused. Not sure where I was heading. I just want to go forward, don't want inward anymore. Now I know I am on the right track.


Oct 10 Aft
Father, now I knew why I always think I be rejected as a romantic partner. Its becos I myself didn't accept myself as a woman. So, how can others accept me.
Father, its clearer than ever that I want to be a woman. I never go thru the phase of growing up to be a woman, it all stopped when I was 10.
Now I know.
As for the situation with GM. She is not fulfilling her role and neither am I fulfilling my destiny.