Relationships is a mixture of good and bad (2)

Oct 22 Afternoon
Father, thank U. My office work is now getting smoother.

Diamond Heart
Three kind of relationship in ur mind;
1. All-good ideal - wonderfully good, powerful, perfect and etc. U will be taken care of, loved and etc.
(U can be sure ur feeling of being in love is in ur mind, and not real)

2. Frustrating other - exciting, wonderful but unavailable. The other person is the yummy one that u always want but u cannot have.
(U do not want ur hope to become real, eventhough u r always complaining about it)

3. Hostile - u feel unwanted, rejected, or hated, or vice versa, where u r the one who is not wanting, rejecting, hateful and hostile.
(U r engaged with either the person or in ur mind. Ur mind need the rship for its own equilibrium. That is why some people feel rejected in most of their relationships, whatever happens, they take it as rejection. If someone turns their head away, they feel rejected. If someone says something, they feel rejected. If someone does not says something, they feel rejected. It would be difficult to convince them that the rejection is not true, then the person's mind will lose its equilibrium)

Most human suffering comes as a result of these mental relationships.
The real relationship usually contains elements of all three kinds of mental relationships. With any human being, there is satisfaction, fulfillment, and love, there is some negativity, anger, and hatred, and there is frustration.
The real relationship is the rship where these three are acknowledged, where the person realises, "Yes, of course, I love this person, but I know he is angry with me," or "I do not like this or that, but I still like her anyway.". Even when we are feeling rejected or hated or hateful, it does not make us forget that we love each other.

Soul
Tamil teacher didn't reply. Neither did An and also the editor,K. Surprisingly, it doesn't affect me.
With T - I tot he can't find anyone, so don't revert
With A - his brother can't fetch me, so don't revert
With Editor, she probably bz and hasn't read my articles and hence didn't revert.

Diamond Heart
The mind does not allow us to keep the totality of the rship in perspective.
The moment u split up the Three, make it all positive, or all frustrating or all hostile, u r not in contact. U r in ur mind then. U r operating through ur tots, and emotional reactions which are reacting to ur own tots. U think u r reacting to the other persons.
And we are very attached to these mental relationships because we do not want to see the totality of the situation. We do not want to be in contact with the real relationship. That would be devastating for a part of our mind that is based on splitting.
Engaging in mental relationships involves all the judging and blaming of the other or oneself, or the idealisation of the other, or grandiosity about oneself. This splitting is a protective mechanism that the ego employs to continue existing. The ego cannot exist if there is true relationship. The ego continued survival depends on this separation of relationship into black and white.

The resolution is to be aware, and to allow, accept and acknowledge the real relationship that is actually happening instead of trying to make it something different from what it is.But to be able to do that, u need to manifest what I called the courageous heart. The real relationship is the rship of the courageous heart. If u look at the reason u split ur relationships, the reason u do not see them as they are, u will see it is because u are a coward in ur heart. You are scared.

Because when u r splitting rship, making them black or white, good or bad, what u r doing is separating love from hatred. You are separating what u see as the good feelings in ur heart from what u call the negative feelings. U either feel love, by itself, or u feel a negative feeling by itself. You do not let them co-exist. You do that mainly to protect ur love. You are afraid of the negative feelings. If the other person is good, the rships is good, u r loving and u allow ur heart to be there. The moment something negative comes in, it brings in the negative mental rship.

Soul
Exactly. Like the incident with GM. I was having negative tots on a roll when I think she didn't do her role as GM. As my tots were sprouting and I didn't feel good. A tot came, she and I have worked for 2 years and I do like her and she has been responsive so far. So, why now becomes so negative and think she won't be responsible. So, I stop my train of angry tots and focus on our good rship. Like yday, on Rolling, my ire started but I said why don't I teach her on her role instead so I need not keep on harping on it, making myself angry and she oblivious. Internal commn without result.
Similar case betwen C and me, which I have offer the "tree".

Diamond Heart
A courageous heart is a heart willing to love regardless of the negativity. It will love inspite of the badness. Is the heart that love regardless of what happens.
What splitting does, more than anything else, is to close the heart. U r not allowing ur love to be unconditional. U respond lovingly only under certain conditions, or with certain manifestations of the other.

Soul
No wonder at first I faced uncertainty over CEO and then later GM. I felt I was against CEO, so now how can I go for her. Later I just give her the support when she repeatedly ask for it.
With the GM, at first I was with her and then later I turn against, I felt bad. Then I now can do both. I accept both CEO and GM. I can see their weakness and appreciate their strength.
Father, not only CEO and GM. I faced with my staff S, P and W, when they were having a confict. It is not easy to have both love and anger at the same time. Coincidentally, all happen after I came back from samyama. That's the main reason for my stress resulting in RA. Aiyoh. Howlah.