Why outer ransformation doesnt happen to me (5)

Sept 30

Father, today breathing better than yesterday. Mmm, not sure why I can't get the shoonya plus conscious breathing. Only thing is close vs open eyes in samyama. Never mind lah, my expectation of refresher has gone down. Now I see the trip just to re-energise myself.

Just now while driving here tot of the CEO coach profile for myself. I m quite unique. I can discuss business and legal, experience in human resource and finance and can also provide personality test and destiny card reading. Apart from the writing, will do this. Surprisingly, I am fine doing this vs normal counseling/coaching for life, grievance or etc.
All all the CEO coaching will be the database for my Insights for me to write my book.
I also tot of become a Speaker for Finding ur passion, overcome yourself and Staying with ur destiny. But I think this will come after CEO Coach.
　
(Nov 19 - Father, mind is working non-stop. Coming out with another plan. Remember to stay focus on Plan A - my devt as a Writer and also part time corporate job. Just now I received praise from a sister company. First tot came, I am good and who knows they may asked me to do their company too and I will rise again in the corporate sector. Second tot, well dont want to go there anymore. Forget about other plan. Just focus on Plan A. )

True Self
We have to learn to hold all of the contents of our consciousness and experience in a compassionate way. So, learn to hold our fear with compassion. We see how hard we can be on ourselves and we learn to be more gentle with ourselves. When fear comes up, instead of stuffing it or pushing it away, we hold it, bring acceptance and love to our experience moment to moment.
It takes courage to look at ur shadowy material. It is never a pretty sight and there is always a risk that u will believe that it is really ur destiny. It isn't, but sometimes it doesn't seem that way. When u lose sight of the light, take out ur candle and light it.
After u do this Work for a while, u realise that complete surrender is what is required. You can't figure it out in ur head. You just have to open ur heart and be present. You can't make the mistake of thinking that u r doing it.
Each of us is asked to get out of the way and let Spirit work through us. That is how our gift can best be utilised. If we try to take charge or to be in control, we will limit our gift or its expression.
God only ask for our willingness.


Sept 30 Even
Father, a deep meditation. I went in and didn't want to come out. It was a feeling of contentment. My body was relaxed and very nimble. Frankly, I think my surka kriya is half an hour and coupled with Shakti, makes it amazing. This has happen for the past 3 days.

On the True Self book, didn't connect with it. Just the title catch me. Father, L has loads of projection and her input is based on her issue.

Diamond Heart
The creation of the beautiful, graceful, true and mature human life requires work at many levels. It requires dedication, sincerity and a commitment to that endeavor. This kind of life is possible, but only for the person who really wants it. Truth is not accessible except to the one who wants to do all that is required.

Some people think that enlightenment is when all of ur problems end. But enlightenment is really when ur problem start.
Enlightenment is partly the realisation that u r responsible in ur life, that ur life is completely ur responsibility, and u r the one who really has to live it. You have to live life the way u know u ought to do it. Its not going to just happen. God is not going to do it to u, because ultimately, u r God.

Soul
I know. That's why I am bit frustrated with myself. Today have to forked out energy over not so good things. This is my comfort zone.
Its getting difficult. All my knowledge is in and understanding too, plus experience of universe. And now I have to start doing.

(Nov 19 - Father, this is amazing, I really need this message. I have delayed in updating my blog cos was very busy at work, and then followed by India trip and later was feeling sick. And now finally just started blog last Wednesday. You are great! Just yesterday, I realised that I must take responsibility for my life as a Writer. As a writer, I and only I is responsible for the success or failure, unlike in the corporate life, whereby we can blame CEO, blame economy, blame office politics, blame staff and etc...
I need a change of mindset. Just now I was feeling lazy and also bit resentful that I have to go to office for meeting. But I preservere, cos this writing is for me and me alone. Also the timing of 1 year for CEO really bring me forward...not much time left.)


Diamond Heart
When u see that u r ultimately responsible, that is where the true Work starts.
It depends on what you want, what ur work is, what happens to be ur contribution. Living ur life, then, and taking all these things into consideration, is where grace happens.
You need to understand how to take action, how to arrange the situation, how to arrange ur life in a way to reflect the truth that u already know and experience.
If ur work requires a lot of action, a lot of strenght, u need to live ur life so that will happen.