Focus on my path (6)

Sept 25

Father, since yday afternoon, the right elbow stiffen again. Not sure why, except the challenge to be a published writer. Anyway, will do it.

This morning, samyama wasn't great. I only got in towards the end. But I preserve by watching my breathe. Shakti is fine but Shambavi is powerful. I felt such contentment that is so deep that tears fell out of gratitude. Father, I used to get more experience from Shakti rather than Shambavi, but now after doing Samyama, the position has reverse. Shambavi even take over Shoonya. Will see. No wonder I prefers to focus on Shambavi and not Shakti.

My first day of Veg. Had noodles, quite good. Am glad, no drama. Also this morning purged off everything.

Diamond Heart.
When the personal issues are clarified, it is easier to become aware of the movement itself, of the wheels in motion - not of what is being churned but of the actual churning itself.
When u become aware that u r the machine in action and u r completely convinced that the activity itself is what is churning up problems, only then is it possible for the wheels to stop.
When the wheels stop and there is no activity, there is also no defensiveness. You are not defending yourself in any way because, as we have seen, the very basis of personality activity is defense.
When the activity stops, u recognise that most of ur tots and desires and efforts are resistance, and what u have been resisting is the present moment, the Now.

Soul
Exactly. That's why my progress is faster and I have changed. I did my clearing before finding my Essence and thereafter I used the Essence to clarify/clear my personality further.

This explained why loads of people who on spiritual path doesn't seem to be transformed, as their personality is stuck.

Diamond Heart
You realise that the "nowness" and presence are ur Beingness. And u begin to experience the presence of the Supreme Being as u, as urself in this moment.

The moment u become aware of the vicious cycle of the activity of defensiveness, u will see clearly that what u have been rejecting is urself, and that the rejection is useless and unnecessary. Then u will relax
and stop.

The complete perception of this cycle is the stopping of the wheels. Then the personality is dissolved by clarity. There is clarity because there is no movement in the personality separating it from Being.

As u can see, this insight comes only with a great deal of work. It takes a long time to get to the point of seeing the totality of ego activity. To see it experientially and directly rather than from a disidentified or transcendent perspective, is made possible by a deep exploration of the territory of personality from within.

This experience of Being relies on many kind of realisations, understanding unconscious issues, and expansion into Being.
When u r working on one particular issue, u will see a part of this supreme reality, but working on all ur issues makes it more possible to see the whole.

Soul
Father, this is It. This describes my journey. When I started it, I just want to get my control back, I cannot let my unconsciousness rule my life. I opened all the doors and at times it seems endless and it still continues but less drama or resistance.

(Nov 17 - motivation for samyama practices)

Diamond Heart
You will see that ur ego activity is what connects u to the social network of personality, making u vulnerable to the various external influences that obscures the truth of who you are and what reality is.
When u see this completely, it is possible for the movement in u - that connects u with the rest of society - to stop. When it stops, u become pure, clarified personality, soul with no ego structure. This clarifies and heals the split from Being.

When all the impurities go, u remain as lightness, an openness. But this is a personal openness, a person who is freedom. It is complete personal freedom. As the past is digested and eliminated, that personal freedom remains as the freedom of the eternal person. You just light up; you're full of personal joy, personal happiness. Finally, you are You, completely.

Soul
Yea, I am experiencing It. Just the other day I declare I like Me, the whole Me, good and bad both is Me. I have accepted myself.