Focus on my path (5)

Sept 23 Evening

Father, when I read my Ten of Club Pluto card, relating to changes in the way I do things and these changes challenges me to be more than I have ever been before as I desire success in areas where large groups of people are benefiting from my talents.

I didn't know what it was and tot of counseling and change by doing a counseling course. Alas, by mid Sept, change of event due to samyama, I decided no counseling nor the course. I know my talent and passion is in publishing. But no idea how to go to it.

Now today, I shared wit V my destiny year and its possibilities. He told me lots of things I have to do; writing my personal journey, checking and commenting other people's blog; review and comments on book in amazon.com; to give 3 updates to my site to ensure hits; to write a Summary that can tie the 10 articles together as Volume 1; JoyRide published as ebook marketed to US and Europe. Need to do Twitter and Joyong facebook. Target 5000 users on a monthly basis by end June 2011.

A tall order and I can see my ego taking a back stand. Then I stop. I told V, I don't know where this is heading, but I will do my part even if I am feeling fearful and has resistant. Already, can feel heart beat beating, slight excitement; bit apprehensive but also hope cos things are going in place.
Tot I will need courage to go through this as there is fear. Suddenly tot of my Soul Sisters pgm's cards.

I attended the Soul Sisters pgm to release my fear in following my Destiny. And the cards are guiding me there.

Soul Sisters Cards
1. The Arts
Express urself through creative activities.
2. You've got the Power!
Use your abilities to resolve this situation. You can do it!
3. The Song of Courage
Courage is not in the absence of fear. It is to act even with fear.
To face and acknowledge the fear and see also that there is something else beside the fear.

And on the 3rd session, got the book True Self - heal ur wound, find ur gifts and discover ur spiritual purpose.

Everything is moving towards my destiny as Transformational Leader. I am a famous author, speaker and reviewer. Amen.

Diamond Heart - AH Almaas
The personality is like dirty water that has been used many times to clean things but it has not been cleaned or purified itself. The personality needs to be filtered. The past needs to be discharged, eliminated.

Indian food
Represent poor to me. Lowest value of food type. So, for me to eat indian food reduced my valuation. Just like for me to do low value task is 'suffering' to me. In our country, indian food is the lowest value in the food chain. Just like I identify the job tasks to me, I also identify it to the food I eat.
I have let go of attachment to job task. And now is the food.

Diamond Heart
We are now stuck with those old patterns and mechanisms that we develop in our past to protect us from too much pain or from annihilation. We have not been able to let go and they have determined the content of our personality.

As u have seen many times, working through an issue - which involves ceasing to be identified with it - typically allows the arising of an essential state.

Soul
True.

Diamond Heart
Of course, sometimes essential states arise without connection to issues, eg as a result of meditation or spiritual practice. But when a person experiences these states without looking at the issues, which is a common occurence, there is no clarification of the personality. The personality stays the way it is. This is often called spiritual realisation. The person is in an essential state and in some sense identified with it, but personality remains as it is.

In order for the person to embody the essential experience, Essence must impact personality; it must transform the personality. We can integrate this influence only by working through the actual issues and understanding how they manifest in all areas of our lives, specific, and general.

Essence is Being, and Being is complete stillness, with no action. When u act, the movement of tots or desires separates u from Essence. You are not Being. When u become aware of the movement of ur personality and u don't go along with it, there is no one to go along or not go along.

There are 2 ways of working on the personality;
1. Disidentification - seeing the personality, thus becoming separate from it.

2. Complete immersion in the personality.

Disidentification - the personality is not matured and integrated into Essence; it is not clarified completely. It is just has been merely set aside; not worked through and transformed.

Immersion - a willingness to clearly and completely experience the personality without resistance, without the attempt to escape from or "transcend" it.
You have to experience it urself.
"I am the personality completely and my very movement is suffering."
This must happen completely, not by disidentifying - but by looking from above and witnessing - but by being it.

Soul
Father, when I started the journey I focus on disidentification. But so many levels, never ending stories/suffering.

Then I realised the good and bad are also me. Each on the same line, but different direction. I then want to accept me fully, the good and bad is all ME. Amen.