Guidance is always there for me (3)

Oct 3

Yesterday night, tot of why I didn't accept A's offer to meet up. Then I knew its because of my lack of trust. I just declared my deepest secret to her. I don't mind doing it, if a stranger, but to someone u knew, its even more difficult. That's why.
This tot could on coming a few times.
This morning, I knew about the issue of humiliation that cause me to back off. I was afraid that I be laughed at and judged for my issue.
Then I also recall her Focus for the game is seeking a way to balance her emotional level. My Focus was to seek a message behind my RA. Earlier before I go, I knew that there is an imbalance and tot it was between the discrepancy between inner and outer manifestation.
Then I got the msg from both Osho and Animal card - to trust my own path, don't follow others. So, I knew it wasn't that.
Then the transformation card came and told me its my past issue that is blocking my emotion. Father, its true, for me emotional is the last pillar.

On the Efficiency Angel - not sure what it meant.
A tot came - its about Universe helping me to manifest whatever I wish for. In fact these days, anything I want come very fast.

No reply from L on my request to get A's contact. And no response from F. Tot of rejection came but now an alternative tot came. For F, to her its an ending and no response required. Infact, it seems like I wanted to have my last words. For L, she could be in a wedding or would need approval from An before releasing me the contact. Father, mmm, looks like my 'rejection mode" is an emotion and not a feeling. Emotion is tot and linked to past experience.
Mmm, I am going to go with this.
Got the sms from L and have sms An. She called me back. She says she is bit sceptical of the input from the Game.


Oct 3 Eve
1. Get support from a trusted group of like-minded friends
Meerkat
Sure, u have been burned or disappointed at one time or another when u trusted someone and were let down or betrayed.
So, now u may be afraid that if u let others in and count on them for support, something similar will happen.
Those memories, consciously or unconsciously, will not only filter out any chance of being disappointed or hurt, but will also serve to keep others who are trustworthy at a distance.
　
Soul Sister prgm led me to the issue that I don't trust people. I tot I was open and trusting. But when I was asked to name people I trust, it was my family members. But I didn't share with them my Destiny nor my Path.
Father, I do have an issue with trust.
Then I did the Transformation Game
1. Key Insight
I forgive everyone. I forgive myself. I forgive all past experience. I am free!
Soul - The way to resolve my trust is thru forgiveness. I will do the Radical Forgiveness exercise.

2. Limitation
I was set back by my fear.
Soul - I fear most being humiliated, being rejected.

3. Inner Resources to dissolve and clear this barrier
I am sensitive to my emotional needs.
Soul - I knew now the tots of rejection is an emotion - a feeling couples with past experience. I will go beyond the emotion of the past.

4. Angel to support and inspire on my next steps.
Angel of Faith.
I know God is here with me.

5. Outcome
Message from Universe
1. Your Wish is Granted!
What you've asked for is coming true.
The fairies know how to magically manifest all of their material needs and desires, and they also assist people - like urself - in making their dreams come true.
This card represents that the fairies are very happy to grant ur wish.
They work with universal forces and energies, but u can also help your prayer rapidly manifest by going with the flow in ur own life.
Stay as centered and peaceful as possible because negativity could block ur desire. Go outside in nature to keep ur spirit soaring with the magical energies of joy and gratitude.
Your tots are manifested into form quickly, so be sure that ur silent prayers and spoken words are aligned with ur desires and not ur fears. Trust in the Universe. Keep a sense of wonder and awe.

Soul
Yea, the Angel of Efficiency. And things are happening very fast.
Father, I run thru the Transformation Cards. Still not sure of how to apply it. Actually, the Facilitator is not great. I guess that's what An see also.
Father, a tot came. Transformation can only happen with me. I still in control cos I cannot trust and I can't trust because I was betrayed. I can only overcome this by forgiveness. And since feelings are not expressed, my wound stays.
Father, my wound is me per se. First tot is to remove it. But on second tot. At least I am aware of it.

Osho Transformation - inner understanding to be work on Blessing in Disguise
The only problem with sadness, desperateness, anger, hopelessness, anxiety, anguish, misery, is that u want to get rid of them. That's the only barrier. You have to live with them. You cannot just escape. They are the situation in which life has to integrate and grow. They are the challenges of life. Accept them. They are blessing in disguise.

Soul
Amen. Father, I now understand my issue in giving. How can I give when I tot I don't have, when I tot I am the victim.
How can I give when I don't trust others to do right.