Focus on my path (4)

Sept 23

Father, just now I put an alarm for tomorrow at 4.00 am. Today 4.20 am still overshot. I was done by 6.56 am. So, an extra 20 min needed to avoid massive jam and also allow me to savour shambavi that seem to have gone deeper ever since I did samyama.

Father, samyama meditation is really great. At first I was going to say deep, but the conscious bring awareness. So, can't describe it yet. Except it must be deep cos even the bone structure becomes nimble. Normally after sitting for a longwhile, ur bone structure need a cracking, but with samyama no need as if everything just soften.
My mornin samyama seems to be more deep vs evening. Perhaps the hatha yoga opens up certain channel.
(What I was practisig is not samyama..is samyama with eye closing)

True Self
Service and facilitating healing for others. - we give back to others the love and support we have received.
Serving others creates a renewal of spiritual energy in our lives. By giving confidently and unconditionally, we receive a kind of love and support back from the universe that is qualitatively different from anything we have yet experienced.

The more we r able to surrender, the more we r able to become an instrument, a hollow reed that the Divine can play. We r the flute that echoes in the canyon.
"Not my will but Thy Will be done" becomes our modus operandi. We r no longer trying to run our lives at the ego level. We r letting Spirit within guides us.
Our surrender creates an abundant harvest all around us.
The power of love reaches out in waves to all who are reaching for it. Prayers are answered. Love is spontaneously given.

Soul
That's what Sadhguru, Vijii and Tamil teacher experience. Me, I think 30 percent only.

True Self
This continues until our ego rises up and wants credit or control over what is happening. Then the energy is blocked. As soon as we go up into our heads and try to figure everything out, as soon as we start worrying about the past or future, grace seem to evaporate and, all of a sudden, everything gets hard.

Soul
Will remind myself.

True Self
Obstacles
1. We try to control
We forgot that God is making the sound through us and tot we re the one blowing.

None of us are completely healed. Eventhough we move forward to serve, there are still remnants of our unworthiness lurking within. These remnants will continue to surface so that we can heal them.
Just because we r serving, doesn't mean that our healing process is complete. Indeed in some respects, our healing process intensifies.
In endeavouring to give to others, all our remaining insecurity comes up. We no longer hide it or stuff it.
Once we have experienced God's fiery love and abundance, nothing less will do. We know that we must dissolve all those blocks to the power and presence of love.

2. We become attached to our gifts.
We attached to the way that we give the gifts and/or the way they are received by others.
We forgot the gifts are not ours, only entrusted to us for safekeeping, nurturing and development and ultimately for expression. We r not the creator of the gift, we r merely the giver of the gift.
We must let them go and do what they are designed to do. All gifts carry an energy and an intention. Let's us trust this and let the gift do its work. It is impossible to give the gifts and hold onto it at the same time. To give it, we must let it go.

We cannot evaluate the gift. That is not our job. Our job is simply to give the gift freely, without strings attached.
Its value will become clear in time, first to others, and then maybe to us. For all that we give returns to us sooner or later.
Let us lay our expectation down and trust the process. This is the best attitude we can bring to service.

Soul
On my gifts of Insight, am not there. But when it comes to Isha tools, I just trust the process. I just go along with it. Like I did 6 mths of breathing meditation despite no benefit/no experience. Now the gift came, I can now do samyama effortlessly.

True Self
Acceptance and surrender are the engines of grace in the world. Let us submit to them and saves ourselves a lot of struggle.

3. We try to feed our ego
The gift is not given to benefit us, but the benefit others.

Of course, if it benefits others, it will eventually benefit us. But don't hold ur breath! And don't give to get back because that doesn't work.

Our gift is given not to lift us up, but to uplift others. If we try to make it about us, instead of about them, we will turn the gift into a spear that will aggravate our wound of unworthiness.

When we show up humbly and go to work along side others, the gifts is effortessly given. Miracles happens and people are atonished.

Only u know the price of the miracle and u decide if u r willing to pay the price for it.

May we admire the harvest and remain humble. May we be content with our labour and unattached to the results. That way we cannot be disappointed. That way there are no disasters or defeats, but only victories.

Soul
Yea, Gifts is responsibility.