My comfort zone is cracking, face up to new future

Feb 17
Father, this morning alarm rang at 6.30 am but I was so tired. I just can't and also don't want to get up. I wanted to sleep. I slept and woke up about 8.15 am and just did practices without hata. It was quite deep.

Father, with SL in my life. I am not sure of my interaction but I know she can do the job. Anyway, let's see.

Ace of Spade
Traditional card for death, change and transformation.

On teacher. Looks like not reverting on venue. The old me would have reacted. But the new me is not as bothered as before. Like C said she is now being churlish cos I didn't kow tow. So, let's see. Two can play the game. Mmmm, perhaps a good opportunity to pull out. Or is this my defense mechanism. Frankly I don't have their passion for Isha. I am grateful to Sadhguru and I love the practices but I don't identify myself with Isha.

Afternoon
Just updating my blog and saw this.
Sadhguru
If one is striving for growth, earthquakes and landslides keep on happening in one's life. Everyday, in its effort to grow, it dismantles itself, thus leading to a huge number of landslides and avalanches.

Soul
Thanks for this. Major landslides but it only spur me to grow. Looks like my time for retirement is not here yet.

Osho cards for the week

1. Issue

Laziness
The gentleman clearly thinks he got it made. He doesn't have the energy to get up and do anything because he thinks he's done it already. He hasn't yet turned to see the mirror cracking around him on his right, a sure sign that the place he thinks he's finally arrived at is about to shatter and dissolve before his very eyes.

The message this card brings is that this poolside resort is not ur final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show.
Ur complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now it's time to move on.

Sadhguru
When who u are is broken, only then u can be ecstatic.
As body and mind becomes less and less important, all the undulations of life don't affect u anymore.

(Mar 25 - Just now when the mind was working overtime, I was feeling like not so great. I tot whether it could be due to V asking me about my expectation for Z. I said we just enjoy each other company. But I guess, I wanted us to progress. We are meeting on weekend, which is a progress and he does keep me posted on his whereabout. I just look at it, I think I was just tired. Then I did shoonya and i am fine. )

Soul
Tot of me being ecstatic despite receiving bad news last Wednesday. I was crying and followed by many rounds of laughing. Part of me was ecstatic and I don't know why. It seems weird to be happy over such bad news.