Settling down with myself - ecstasy in pool

Mar 3

Father, its great. For the whole day, no anxious feeling on Z. This morning, I had a lovely swim. The last 2 laps was amazing. My head now turn in tandem with body and less strain. I can swim smoother. I was laughing loads in the pool. I recalled that Z was perfect lesson for me. I am not going to justify why he doesn't return call or etc. That's his karma to work out as it cause him to lose the love that he wants.
As for me, I am not as bothered. I love him and I am staying. Choosing me would entail changing his plan.

On his unreachability and unavailability, it triggers my past issue of unlovability over and over again that I no longer believe it. Someone's unreachability has nothing to do with me. He is unreachable cos he doesn't want to be reach, he doesn't want to be loved and then have that love taken away.

The weekly Osho card is so real. Everytime with Z, I have to the Fool. I have to ignore my judgements. I am determined to recognised I am lovable. And only I can give love to myself unconditionally.

Seven of Spades
The powerful Seven of Spades will challenge u to rise to higher levels of thinking, speaking and acting. It challenges will manifest in areas where u r likely to be holding some negative patterns that need to be changed.
If u r willing to take responsibility for ur condition and practice positivity in spite of circumstances, u can realise the powerful spiritual potential of this card and attain new height. This is the card of Faith.

Affirmation
I am tapping into the source of God energy and transforming all the negativity in my life into fearlessness and appreciation. I am living faith.

Soul
Suddelny tot Seven of Spades is similar to Osho - The Fool card. The Fool is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.

(Apr 1 - suddenly tot that since I can transform the negativity with Z into positivity, I have faith that my job will be transformed too.)